Bro Gary Hawkins 22: The Church of Random and Unnecessary Capitalization

[Alisamer]

Hmm. Maybe it took him a while after being saved to decide he was "called" to be an evangelist. But we know so little about his history it's impossible to say what might have happened at all. I wonder if the people he preaches to notice? Like, if they stopped to think or wonder - sometimes they have a teen child with them, sometimes not. They are the sort of fundie who normally would have a huge brood of kids, but here they are without. How did they meet? How did they come to be evangelists? 

Like, generally Baptists of all flavors have a reputation for being gossipy. I know I'm certainly curious, and I'm surprised that we haven't seen or heard anything about them having something said to them about being divorced, remarried, not having all their kids with them all these years, etc. I'm betting even if the pastors don't bother to ask, there are church ladies in the back there wondering about this stuff. 

Also he doesn't seem to ever mention that sort of thing in his sermons, either. Like, if it was open knowledge, he'd probably work that stuff into his sermons (probably implying his ex is ungodly, and being bigoted about Becky's ex) but it's like Gary was saved, now he and Becky are evangelists. And that's it. No history, his testimony seems to leave out most of his adult life, with no hint that he and Becky haven't just magically always been married.

[thoughtful]

5 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Hmm. Maybe it took him a while after being saved to decide he was "called" to be an evangelist.

I don't know when he started considering himself an evangelist. I'm pretty sure that quitting any semblance of work to go on the road happened after he met and married Becky.

His Facebook says this:

Spoiler

But it also says he married Becky in 2023, posted twice, because he somehow screwed it up when he posted about their anniversary. So I don't think we can trust what he's clumsily plopped on Facebook.

I think the earliest preaching video I've ever found of him was from 2012, and the email address for Hawkins Family Ministries has 2012 in it. Gary often says how long they've been on the road in his messages, but I can't remember what the latest number was (and, of course, he is an unreliable narrator).

There was some time in South Dakota - I don't know how long they were there, or when. He talks about his father being there with him, but not anyone else. But I figure his mother and maybe some siblings were there, and maybe Stephanie and the kids, depending on how long ago this was. Gary and Danny had jobs driving school buses, and I guess Danny was trying to plant a church. It's also where they were when the "drunk Indian who wasn't helped by AAA" used to come for Thursday dinners.

I would love to know enough to make a Gary timeline. But he is so vague, and as you pointed out, so dishonest about his first marriage and his and Becky's children. My guess has always been that people who have known him long enough to know the whole story have been asked not to talk about it to anyone who doesn't. It's just "mah wahf" and "mah seven kids," in his messages.

Here's his latest:

Edited September 2, 2023 by thoughtful
punctuatin'

[MayMay1123]

I would love to know how the hell he got custody of his children. I can only think that maybe wife #1 couldn't afford to keep them? They surely would have been better off with her though. And it's possible that her youngest has the last name Hawkins because that was still her last name (I don't know if it still is). 

[thoughtful]

18 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

I would love to know how the hell he got custody of his children. I can only think that maybe wife #1 couldn't afford to keep them? They surely would have been better off with her though. And it's possible that her youngest has the last name Hawkins because that was still her last name (I don't know if it still is). 

Why Gary got custody is one of the great mysteries of the whole story.

And I agree with your last sentence - that's why I always say we don't know if he is Gary's  child or not, because it's likely his last name is Hawkins because she hadn't changed hers, and doesn't tell us anything about who his biological father is.

Her last name has changed since then.

 

[thoughtful]

OK, folks - I really do need to get back to Gary's last message. After all, if he is going back on the road, I'll have my work cut out for me in the future!

Gary returns to his planned reading, Luke 18, and re-reads "verses thirty fahhve, real quick-lahk." Well, he tries:

KJV: And it came to pass, that as he was come nigh unto Jericho, a certain blind man sat by the way side begging:
Bro Gary Version: And it came to pass, that he was - that as he was comin'. Nah unto th'Jerih - Jericho, a certain blahnd man set bah the way side you know what? Number one, somebody had t'be there when Jesus passed bah."

Um, Gary - are you picturing Jesus' entire life, walking paths lined with people? Nobody has to be there when anyone passes by.

He rambles some more about the blind man (he makes sure they know he couldn't see), then goes on to his own salvation: "But uh fer Jesus t'pass bah ah wanna say somethin' to ya, fer Jesus t'have passed bah, he coulda come anywhere outta that, because ah didn't come t'him, he came t'me, amen? Somebody had t'be there. Julah th'eleventh 1999, Open Door Baptist Church ah was sittin' on this sahda th'church, prob'ly the second or third pew back or whatever, hey Jesus passed bah, ah got born agin. Amen? Ah was waitin' on him t'come, now uh listen you say 'Whah?' Well, ah was in church, ah grew up in church you know what? Lotta - ah was listenin' - uh there's a song an' ah don't know that ah could even say it, some of it's spirit'l some of it's not, but ah listen to it once in a whahl because it's on mah phone an' if ah'm doin' somethin' ah cain't stop an' - whatever ah'm doin' ___ (audio skips), but the thing goes in the part was this uh grand - this granddaughter had a grandfather that was a old-fashioned preacher in a old-fashioned church, an' he preached or whatever, an' the moral of the story was that she hadn't realahzed 'Ah cain't git in because grampa's saved, ah gotta git in on mah own.'"

I found the song:

Spoiler

 

I can't figure out where the non-spiritual parts are, Gary.

Gary goes on about how he couldn't get into heaven based on his father's faith, he had to get saved when Jesus passed by. He does his anti-religion (it's a relationship!) rant.

He knows he's saved "because on Julah th'eleventh of 1999 he took that little ink-pen of his blood an' he wrote mah name in that book of lahf an' it's there."

Gary writes in the air with an imaginary pen, while my brain starts singing "There is a fountain pen of blood drawn from Emanuel's veins . . . "

Gary tells them that sometimes Jesus passes by for salvation, sometimes to check to make sure they are being obedient. "Obedience is better'n sacrifahce is what the bahble says"

Gary likes it when Jesus speaks to him.

He re-reads "verses 36 - an' hearin' the multitude pass bah, he assed what it mint. He was very innerested. Hey. Ah'm innerested in - God. Amen?"

He tells a bit more of the story of his salvation - not really remembering "what th'preacher preached ohn," how it was his last chance, how he was raised in church but not saved.

He does his routine about all saved people being missionaries, including at work and "in Walmarts, amen." Always carry tracts, go soul-winning, etc.

He says he's trying to sell some stuff on Facebook. I wonder what.

He goes on and on about being "innerested."

He tells them that the first time he went to "upstate New York" (he makes it clear that he would never go to New York City), he was afraid he'd be "kicked out, maybe even git keeled fer comin' up here."

Oh, we scary northerners.

"Number 3 - is thirty - verse 37 th'bahble says  an' they told him, that then was Jesus of Nazareth pass bah."

He tells them that the blind man "started hollerin'.

He continues the story of his salvation - nothing reached him until "God started dealin' with mah heart," the service ended, they were "fixin' t'go eat,"  he looked at the back doors and saw himself in Hell, and God told him (but not in words!) that it was his last chance.

 He says there's probably somebody in their town that has never heard of Jesus.

I doubt it, Gary.

He tries some scare tactics about people "raisin' up" children without Jesus, and marriages not lasting without Jesus. He talks about the preacher whose son had to go to prison to find Jesus, and the woman who laid out church clothes for her non-church-going husband every Sunday, until one day he put them on, went to church, and got saved.

"Then verse 38, th'bahble says and he crahd, says thou son of David, have mercy on me."

Well, it actually says: And he cried, saying, Jesus, thou son of David, have mercy on me.

Gary tells them that, of course, he deserves hell, but God gives him mercy. Before the judge uses that "little bitty hammer" to declare him guilty, God bursts through the doors saying "Mercy."

He babbles about knowing you're saved, then "Verse thirty-nahn - and they which went before him rebuked him, that he should have - hold his peace: but he crahd so much more that - but he crahd so much more -  much the more, Thou son of David, have mercy on me. Not only did he crah, he was consistent."

In case that wasn't clear, here's the original: And they which went before rebuked him, that he should hold his peace: but he cried so much the more, Thou son of David, have mercy on me.

He does his routine about just saying a prayer not being enough for salvation, goes looking for Romans 10:89 so he can quote it correctly, and the video cuts off.

Spoiler

 

 

[Coconut Flan]

Carry on here:

 

Edited September 3, 2023 by Coconut Flan