CarVan12: Health Scare Continues ... and Worsens :(

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

7 hours ago, gobucks said:

I actually thought several things were interesting about this week's vlog. 

1. Katie left 4 week old Hailey with Carlin to go get her nails done with Lydia and Josie. I was surprised she was ready to leave the baby already honestly. I am glad she got some time away to relax and see her friends/sisters but again, I was surprised. 

2. Evan sprinkled grass seed on some spots in this yard and he was not doing it in an efficient, even layer. Carlin picks up the bag and does the seeding in a good, even layer. No snark there. Take the lead. Get it done, girl. Fundie girl doing a "guy chore". 

3. Zade's birthday reminds me that it has been basically a full year since Carlin's issues started. 

I wasn't surprised about her leaving the baby. Why wouldn't she? Getting hair and nails done is top priority. Gotta look good all the time.

Have to disagree on the grass seed. She used like 70% of the bag on one area and then quickly ran out when she got to the huge patch of no grass further back (on the hill, that probably could use grass the most). Then they had people come to power wash the house and concrete. Creating a huge flood of soapy water that drained straight off into the new grass seed area. Although, considering she laid that grass seed on with a heavy hand - there's probably some that didn't wash away.

Also they're apparently doing this grass seeding in prep for a party at their house that will definitely happen before the grass is established or possibly even germinated? (Wasn't clear when the party will be)

 

[LillyP]

2 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

I wasn't surprised about her leaving the baby. Why wouldn't she? Getting hair and nails done is top priority. Gotta look good all the time.

 

Yes because heaven forbid a new mom do anything for herself. 🙄 I get it, it's all about pointing out that we feel the Bates girls are shallow but these are the kinds of comments that makes moms feel really shitty about doing anything for themselves. 

[Gobsmacked]

If someone had given me 2 hours time away from my screaming newborn to even get my hair washed and blow dried I would have worshiped them forever. 

[LillyP]

3 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

If someone had given me 2 hours time away from my screaming newborn to even get my hair washed and blow dried I would have worshiped them forever. 

Exactly. It's not enough the stress you go through the get pregnant, the 9 months of hell your body does through, the worry about having a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery, and then the delivery and recovery process. But now you look like an asshole if you dare to get a pedicure or your hair done when you have a newborn. Despite full time pumping for my first, I made it a point to prioritize doing some things for myself even early on and because of that didn't feel like my transition to being a new mom was that hard. On the flip side I nursed my second and let that be an excuse to basically not leave him as much or do things for myself....and the end result has been over a year of denying the fact that I had PPD and a constant state of unhappiness. I think it's safe to say the pedicure comment set me off. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

Very sorry to set you off. Certainly not the intent.

Care for moms is important. I've held many a baby so mom can do her necessary things. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

If someone had given me 2 hours time away from my screaming newborn to even get my hair washed and blow dried I would have worshiped them forever. 

I held my friend’s newborn yesterday so she could get ready. The baby was fussy and I put her to sleep. I assume because I didn’t smell like milk (unlike her mom) so she knew she wouldn’t get anything from me, lol. So she gave up and I walked her around until she fell asleep. I’m also warm blooded and fat so I’m quite comfy for babies. 

[feministxtian]

8 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

I wasn't surprised about her leaving the baby. Why wouldn't she? Getting hair and nails done is top priority. Gotta look good all the time.

"looking good" isn't the point. Its getting to feel like something other than a dairy cow for a couple of hours. 

When Mr. Xtian was nearing the end when he couldn't be left alone b/c of the brain tumors/seizures, I jumped at ANY chance to get the hell out of the house for an hour or two. Why? Because I couldn't stand seeing what Mr. Xtian had become. For the couple of hours I was out getting a mani/pedi or even going to the damn grocery store, I could pretend that he was healthy and whole and would know who I was when I walked back in the door, ready to help me bring the groceries in. 

People have reasons for going out when there's shit going down at home. Whether it's a new baby, a dying husband, or even just feeling sort of frustrated, getting out can help. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Going to the grocery store while my husband bonded with the baby at about 4 weeks PP was magical and surreal.  I was convinced everything would implode without me while also being giddy at the time away.  My husband texted me to go to the park and read for a while if I wanted and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  I was probably gone less than an hour overall but it felt like forever and no time at all.

[fluffernutter]

When my first daughter was born, I went back to work right away and stopped breastfeeding at eight weeks, so I got used to leaving her pretty quickly. My second, I was home full-time and nursing, and my first outing was to go to The Body Shop to get some yummy bath things for myself. What. A. Feeling. There was also a bakery next door and I went in there and had a treat and a cup of coffee. This was in a different country, and most people got around by bus. The ride, which went by the ocean and had beautiful views, was just so peaceful... until my boobs started profusely leaking. 🤣 Luckily I was on my way home at that point and just held my package tightly to my chest. Then with my last, Drew Barrymore came out in that movie Riding in Cars With Boys, which I just had to see. I was more prepared that time and doubled up on those nursing pads. I know every old person says it ad nauseam, but damn doesn't it goes by so fast. That seems like yesterday, I swear. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. 

[gobucks]

They gave a health update on Carlin in this week's episode. She said she feels depressed when she talks about it so they don't update every little appt or episode. The meds seem to be helping her have less frequent and shorter episodes. The docs are still looking into getting the long EEG so they can pinpoint things. She said she feels like she is "dragging it out and disappointing everyone" that she doesn't have any more answers. She doesn't understand why it isn't over and in the past already. She says why is she so weird the doctors can't even figure it out. Evan really tries to encourage her in the video. She feels like she is letting Evan and her family down. Evan says this is just something we are going through and nothing she did. Poor girl. I have been there when I had medical or mental health issues and felt that way. 

Edited April 1, 2023 by gobucks

[JermajestyDuggar]

30 minutes ago, gobucks said:

They gave a health update on Carlin in this week's episode. She said she feels depressed when she talks about it so they don't update every little appt or episode. The meds seem to be helping her have less frequent and shorter episodes. The docs are still looking into getting the long EEG so they can pinpoint things. She said she feels like she is "dragging it out and disappointing everyone" that she doesn't have any more answers. She doesn't understand why it isn't over and in the past already. She says why is she so weird the doctors can't even figure it out. Evan really tries to encourage her in the video. She feels like she is letting Evan and her family down. Evan says this is just something we are going through and nothing she did. Poor girl. I have been there when I had medical or mental health issues and felt that way. 

Of course if I was a friend I would encourage seeing a counselor but I doubt she would be open to that. 

[marmalade]

I thought they were cagey when they brought up the EEG. I don't think she's ever going to do it, although it might be the key to her diagnosis. 

[CanadianMamam]

3 hours ago, marmalade said:

I thought they were cagey when they brought up the EEG. I don't think she's ever going to do it, although it might be the key to her diagnosis. 

I am giving them the benefit of the doubt because brain tests can take a LONG time to book. 

[Johannah]

Could cost be a factor? None of these people are insured, right? And they don’t have normal work schedules so it’s not like they have to work around that. She could go any time. And she’s actively having symptoms/seizures. She would be moved to the top of the priority list. My son had this exact test done. Even with wait times and scheduling issues it took about a month to get him in. Something seems off about this with Carlin. And it makes me really sad for her that for whatever reason they are unable or unwilling to do something that would give them more answers. 

[marmalade]

1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

I am giving them the benefit of the doubt because brain tests can take a LONG time to book. 

They could have booked this six months ago when they first found out they needed it. The wait was going to be the same regardless. I thought that they skirted the issue by not saying that they have this on the horizon. What's the holdup? Carlin's FOMO? 

She's still having seizures. What harm could taking 5 days to possibly cure you do? 

[Melissa1977]

9 hours ago, gobucks said:

She said she feels like she is "dragging it out and disappointing everyone" that she doesn't have any more answers. Evan really tries to encourage her in the video. She feels like she is letting Evan and her family down.

Often, people with self-esteem issues feel guilty of being sick and "disturbing" their relatives. She's lucky because Evan seems to be a caring person. Imagine she was married to the typical fundie who expects the wife to be a handmaid...

[CanadianMamam]

7 hours ago, marmalade said:

They could have booked this six months ago when they first found out they needed it. The wait was going to be the same regardless. I thought that they skirted the issue by not saying that they have this on the horizon. What's the holdup? Carlin's FOMO? 

She's still having seizures. What harm could taking 5 days to possibly cure you do? 

I am not American but here you go on a list. You don't book a date, you go on a list and they call you when there is an opening. It recently took me a year and a half to get some brain scans done. 

[Smoochie]

3 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I am not American but here you go on a list. You don't book a date, you go on a list and they call you when there is an opening. It recently took me a year and a half to get some brain scans done. 

Often available $$$ plays within the US healthcare system, plus, her seizures appear to be somewhat under control, so perhaps she's not considered a high priority?

[Giraffe]

I’m seconding @Johannah who speculated it may be about insurance/price. Assuming they have Scamaritan or another similar nonsurance, self-pay for that test would come to several thousand dollars. If they know the test isn’t something their nonsurance would reimburse them for I could see them deciding to continue putting it off. 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

They just went on a trip to the Bahamas, had their yard fully fenced with 6ft tall boards, extended their patio, had the house power washed, and hosted a party with what looked like "store bought" smash cake and multi tier cake for adults. Also left cash lying around target and continue to get fancy coffees/drinks and eat out. If they're hurting for money they have a funny way of showing it.

 

If they wanted that scan they'd have had it by now. Months ago Evan was saying if they need to move to Minnesota and live at Mayp clinic then they would. 

For those in other countries here you either have insurance or you don't. This can affect how quickly you can get in for scans. But in general you get referred for a scan from your regular doctor or your specialist (the migraine Dr probably). At that point you basically make the appointment like anything else. They may be booked up 2-3 months out but often there's waiting lists you can say "hey if there's a cancelation the same day call us! We're available" 

Here your insurance may require you to use a certain hospital/clinic. You can go out of network and book at a clinic not on your insurance and pay for it yourself. 

It seems very unlikely to me that they couldn't have gotten that scan done or at least the appt coming up soon-unless they don't want to do it.

They have the ability to go to medical facilities in Knoxville, Nashville, or even Johnson city all of which have large hospitals /extensive medical options and thus more options for appointments than most people who have regular jobs and can't easily travel.

 

[nolongerIFBx]

Doesn't she have to go off her meds to get an accurate reading? So it could be the FOMO and just fear of serious seizures recurring.

[OHFL2009]

I feel for Carlin on this. I have some medical issues that are still partially unresolved (although less life-altering than hers) and I've been in the position of "well maybe one more test will tell us something" or "maybe this doctor will have answers." And I've put them off, especially the ones that are time-consuming, or uncomfortable, or expensive, because after so many tests and so many doctors and no answers, it's easy to feel like the next one won't be any different. I get in a mindset of "why should I spend so much time and money and be in pain for them to tell me absolutely nothing."  

Logically, it doesn't make sense and you'd think she would do anything she could to figure it out, But I've definitely felt the burnout of so many tests and doctors and no answers. 

[nelliebelle1197]

On 4/2/2023 at 10:47 PM, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

They just went on a trip to the Bahamas, had their yard fully fenced with 6ft tall boards, extended their patio, had the house power washed, and hosted a party with what looked like "store bought" smash cake and multi tier cake for adults. Also left cash lying around target and continue to get fancy coffees/drinks and eat out. If they're hurting for money they have a funny way of showing it.

 

If they wanted that scan they'd have had it by now. Months ago Evan was saying if they need to move to Minnesota and live at Mayp clinic then they would. 

For those in other countries here you either have insurance or you don't. This can affect how quickly you can get in for scans. But in general you get referred for a scan from your regular doctor or your specialist (the migraine Dr probably). At that point you basically make the appointment like anything else. They may be booked up 2-3 months out but often there's waiting lists you can say "hey if there's a cancelation the same day call us! We're available" 

Here your insurance may require you to use a certain hospital/clinic. You can go out of network and book at a clinic not on your insurance and pay for it yourself. 

It seems very unlikely to me that they couldn't have gotten that scan done or at least the appt coming up soon-unless they don't want to do it.

They have the ability to go to medical facilities in Knoxville, Nashville, or even Johnson city all of which have large hospitals /extensive medical options and thus more options for appointments than most people who have regular jobs and can't easily travel.

 

I guess he does not know Mayo has a clinic closer by in Jacksonville!

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

4 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I guess he does not know Mayo has a clinic closer by in Jacksonville!

That was pretty early on. I think they learned that actually this test they need can be done locally or many places. I believe they had a phone consultation with a Mayo Dr. who advised they needed certain steps completed before reconsulting with Mayo. They also mentioned "viewers" who directed them to various specialists. 

Why they havent just gone ahead and booked the test is a huge mystery. Evan has seemed very gung-ho about doing whatever needed to be done. But Carlin has consistently downplayed it and has mentioned numerous times how she just wants it to go away/has hoped that it would just stop on its own.

It was very conspicuous that Evan didn't mention why they haven't done the test (after spending months talking about needing to get this test done). 

My read between the lines is that Carlin, for some reason, is the one not wanting to proceed. 

Maybe it's because she doesn't want to go off the meds for any period of time, maybe she's in a denial sort of phase, maybe she doesn't want the actual final diagnosis (if you don't know for sure then you can continue crafting your own narrative). Maybe a combination of it all.

I feel bad for her for whatever anxiety or depression might be underlying all this. I hope she gets it together and pursues a full diagnosis for herself and her family's safety/well being

[Expectopatronus]

I’m not American so I have no idea as to how these things work but for people who can’t afford medical tests but make too much to qualify for Medicaid, what happens? 
What if someone is in an accident and has no insurance? Would the hospital let them die? I find American health care confusing ! Here you might wait 1 year or more for non-emergency tests but everyone has equal access.