M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!

[SuperNova]

Today Abbie is bragging about her home library that took her 16 years to collect. It's a pitiful selection considering how long she's been collecting. The shelves are mostly filled with plants and other clutter. From what I can tell, there's a single cookbook on appetizers.

Like Abbie, I have always been an avid reader and I've been collecting books for around 20 years. My kitchen bookcase has a larger selection than what she's trying to show off. I also have every wall in the guest bedroom lined in books, my living room built-ins are filled, and I have more boxes put away until I can get more bookcases. If I had Abbie's living space and was a home school parent, I would have an entire library room instead of a few sparse looking shelves. 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Today Abbie is bragging about her home library that took her 16 years to collect. It's a pitiful selection considering how long she's been collecting. The shelves are mostly filled with plants and other clutter. From what I can tell, there's a single cookbook on appetizers.

Like Abbie, I have always been an avid reader and I've been collecting books for around 20 years. My kitchen bookcase has a larger selection than what she's trying to show off. I also have every wall in the guest bedroom lined in books, my living room built-ins are filled, and I have more boxes put away until I can get more bookcases. If I had Abbie's living space and was a home school parent, I would have an entire library room instead of a few sparse looking shelves. 

  Hide contents

 

She only cares about how the books LOOK. She’s almost as superficial as Jill Rod. 
 

We have a ridiculously huge collection of children's books. I buy them second hand for very cheap. Like .50-$2 each. I don’t have a lot of grown up books myself because I just read them and then donate or I borrow from the library. But my kids always have books they love to read on hand. However I don’t homeschool. You would think a homeschooling mother of ten would have an insanely huge collection of books. But that wouldn’t go with her Anthro decor 🙄

[treehugger]

Wow, that it?  I have over 300 children's books alone (yes, I counted them one day after I had to buy another bookshelf to put them on).  Also thrifted most of them.  That's a tragic selection for a homeschooling family.  

[Ozlsn]

I am laughing so much at that library, and am also kind of sad. We have shelves down the hallway, plus a bookcase in the lounge room, plus piles that we need to work out what to do with, plus more full shelves in the study. Granted most of the books aren't as "beautiful" - some are very well loved, and a lot came from op shops. What really stands out to me though is the lack of dog eared, very worn kids books, covering a range of ages.  From the couch I can see three Charlie and Lola and four Hairy Maclary books in various states of wear, a pile of Mr Men (came from a newspaper give away via grandparents), three extremely tatty atlases (child very into flags and maps), plus a few remaining board books (comfort items) - and the bookcase next to me is filled with a variety of books covering a range of child ages/abilities. I really hope this is just her "for show" library, and that the kids rooms are overflowing with age appropriate reading material (and colouring books, markers/crayons, etc).

(Also yeah I need to cull again, but some books are likely to stay no matter how old he gets.)

16 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

From what I can tell, there's a single cookbook on appetizers.

What??? How does she not have a shelf of cookbooks covering a range of cultural cuisines, snacks, baking, kids birthday cakes, slow cooking recipes and quick snacks?! Just me?

[neuroticcat]

So I am tempted to give her a pass, and would assume that there is a hot mess of books somewhere else in the house, because you cannot homeschool with so few books let alone call yourself a bibliophile. She's got to know that. I am constantly weeding out books and still have three floor to ceiling shelves in our living space, the older kids have one floor to ceiling and one half bookshelf in each of their rooms, and there are stacks and stacks in my office and other crannies with two rows deep on shelves. Because, honestly, normal homeschooling people who buy books for reading don't buy matching volumes and color code them. They collect over years, weed out, dog ear them, collect again. Homeschoolers have baskets and baskets of library books all over the place.

Also, and I am admittedly snobbish this way, I really don't like the matching pretty sets the booksellers are pitching. They are appealing for design aesthetic, but to draw in a kid? They all look quite similar! Cover art is HUGE for attracting kids to pick up a book. There should be all kinds of illustrations/colors/aesthetics vs. a matching theme. Why would a child pick up one of those over the other?

But I can't give her a pass, because  I don't think there are more books somewhere else, b/c she said the kids access those shelves (explaining why some are upside down) and has also earlier has spotlighted her organized toy closet which had really shockingly tiny tupperwares for toys. I don't know. Posting that so unabashedly to thousands of people seems really out of touch. It reminds me of using the Jane Austen quote in her book in a nonsensical way b/c, obvs, bibliophile.

I think it's understandable that a mother of a large family could be minimalistic. Also: not everyone has to love books or toys for their kids. I don't like the pretense, though. Like, just find a different thing to post about rather than pretending. 

Ditto with recently misusing curriculums/curricula. No big deal. People can make mistakes or get it wrong or not know it to begin with. But better to admit it than be like: I promise, y'all, I know the right word I just didn't use it repeatedly. ???

Edited July 30, 2022 by neuroticcat

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

What??? How does she not have a shelf of cookbooks covering a range of cultural cuisines, snacks, baking, kids birthday cakes, slow cooking recipes and quick snacks?! Just me?

A lot of our cookbooks are in the kitchen, not on the bookcase. It's possible her kitchen has more cookbooks.

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

A lot of our cookbooks are in the kitchen, not on the bookcase. It's possible her kitchen has more cookbooks.

True. The bookshelf where my cookbooks are is near the kitchen entry, and I probably need to look at which books I use the most and cull the rest... but they all have at least one recipe that I really like! Also pretty pictures in some so I know what it was supposed to look like, heh.

[Marly]

I am honestly not surprised. She probably considers most books un-biblical, and considers the bible the only book her kids need. Very sad, but I'm not surprised.

[anachronistic]

Having bedbugs completely changed my view on books because you need to fumigate books and that’s really hard to do. Also, most of my favorite books I can easily access via the library if I want to reread them, and most of my favorite recipes are from online sources these days. So I just have a medium bookshelf, which I’m working on paring down, a few cookbooks and a stack of of library books. It’s certainly not a library because I don’t need a library - I’m within 15 minutes drive of 3 excellent ones I use frequently. My library fines are a much more accurate picture of how much I read.

And color coded books…..ew…..no.

[Baxter]

Wow that is a really pathetic book selection. I think some years I may have bought that many in a single year. I love reading so much. Just seeing a picture of a stack of books makes me feel happy. I think my kids have around 300 books between them. If I had such a large age spread like Abbie I'm sure we would have more. 

I have probably around 1000 books myself but that's just a guess. One day I want to do a more detailed inventory of them but I have no time for that right now. I could see some people might not want the clutter of having the books around. But I love them as a decor item too and I like to reread some. 

I really hope Abbie takes her kids to the library often but I doubt she does because she is lazy. Maybe there are a few books in the kids' rooms but I doubt there are many. It's laughable that she is trying to impress people with that selection. 

[neuroticcat]

4 hours ago, anachronistic said:

Having bedbugs completely changed my view on books because you need to fumigate books and that’s really hard to do. Also, most of my favorite books I can easily access via the library if I want to reread them, and most of my favorite recipes are from online sources these days. So I just have a medium bookshelf, which I’m working on paring down, a few cookbooks and a stack of of library books. It’s certainly not a library because I don’t need a library - I’m within 15 minutes drive of 3 excellent ones I use frequently. My library fines are a much more accurate picture of how much I read.

And color coded books…..ew…..no.

Agree with this. I have personally  pared down A LOT over the years because we are lucky enough to have an excellent public library system. I try and keep the books that have sentimental value or I'm sure I will read again or that would be hard to get at the library. But we still have a lot, mainly b/c of kids and homeschooling. You legit cannot homeschool effectively without tons of books - and those multiply with more children, because even though some curriculum choices can be shared if your kids are only a couple of years apart, that's not true if you have a spread. And it multiplies the more years you homeschool b/c you pack the books up that you used for one child so that you can pull them back out again when the next is in that range. I know not everyone homeschools the same way, but the general idea is the same. I am already prepping for next year...and...it is a lot of books.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

14 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

because you cannot homeschool with so few books let alone call yourself a bibliophile.

Yes she can/ does homeschool with that few, and obviously she calls herself a bibliophile.  I tried counting the books and my count is less that 200, probably 160-175.  She collected 200 books max in 16 years -- that's 12.5 max  books per year.

Where are the books she owned before marriage?  Where are her childhood favorites that she brought with her for her future children? Where are the books she reads now?

Braggie, that's not a library, that decor on book shelves.

My Dress and I are book lovers -- big time -- hardback and paperback. We have bookcases everywhere, every shelf is a double row,  There are books in every room, one or more on nearly every surface.  Most are bought 2nd hand. We don't care how they look, we care what they say.

When we moved into this house Mr Dress for grins counted our books as he tied them up in bundles.  He stopped counting at 3000 (true).  More than 25 years later we have no idea how many there. are.

Over the years we've donated books to libraries, the neighborhood "little libraries" boxes, sold them in yard sales.. Problem is we always buy more. so it's a zero sum. game. 

Edited to add:   I forgot to mention the built-in bookcase in the kitchen for my cookbook collection.  It is filled to overflowing and there are now piles on the side counter.

Edited July 30, 2022 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[treehugger]

I totally get paring down books. Every time we move (which is every couple years so far) I go through them and donate several boxes, but I just can’t get rid of my favourites. And the truth is, where we are at currently the library isn’t close by or easily accessible for me, and every time we do go, at least one kid can’t find their books to return, so I do buy a lot of books for the kids to read.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

Oh I’ve definitely gotten rid of tons of books over the years. Especially board books. Now that my kids are older, I gave away the board books. I kept a few of their favorites. I also got rid of some books they’ve never liked and wouldn’t ever read again. Yet we still have a lot of books. Because I think it’s important for my kids to have a large selection of books to read. Braggie’s home is supposed to be their classroom. Every classroom I’ve ever seen had a ton of books. Guess her classroom sucks. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Cults-r-us]

15 hours ago, Marly said:

I am honestly not surprised. She probably considers most books un-biblical, and considers the bible the only book her kids need. Very sad, but I'm not surprised.

Still probably a more extensive library than S. maxwell or J. Rod, or the Duggars.

[JermajestyDuggar]

What’s crazy is that Zoo Anderson has a decent amount of books in their home plus she regularly borrows children's books from the library. It’s a sad day when Zoo is a better homeschooler than you. 

Edited July 31, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[kmachete14]

On 7/28/2022 at 11:05 PM, luv2laugh said:

I disagree that “gentle parenting” = authoritative parenting. Many in gentle parenting circles will mom shame those who sleep train for their mental health and moms who work. 

Maybe I am just in a bubble of a different kind of gentle parenting that is def authoritative parenting. To me that sounds more like the “crunchy” parenting cult, which Abbie sometimes verges on as well. BUT I will say (as someone who sleep trained) that the Ferber method even in my circle of sleep training friends is frowned upon and “gentle sleep training” seems to be what everyone does. Probably a lot of groups have come-opted the term to fit their own narrative positively (just like Abbie using it to fit hers negatively). 

[anachronistic]

 I admire people with tons of books. It just doesn’t suit my lifestyle/home for now. My family’s homes are covered in books and it’s really nice not having to worry about bringing one to read when I go visit. And anyone with kids needs tons of books so that the kids have choices around them at all times. Abby homeschooling with so few books reinforces the idea that she doesn’t stray from a prepared curriculum at all. She doesn’t let her kids dive deep into dinosaurs for months on end. One of my siblings kids have been all about Bill Peet for awhile so after getting them all those (well, all the ones we can track down, they’re not as popular as I thought they were) I’m thinking let’s do some more fairy tales, more dragon books, some medieval stories, fantasy, environmentalism, aliens…..books are like following a path and then the path keeps branching and branching and you have so many more places to go even if you just started in a straight line.

I really saw the importance of books this spring when NotMyKid, who is in elementary school, has for years wanted nothing to do with books. They have some pretty intense I/DD and see books/paper for ripping, chewing, throwing, whatever, certainly not reading. But the ripped books remained accessible at home, books about NMK’s favorite tv shows/cartoons kept being added, the school kept working on story time and letters and….one day I was hanging out with them and they picked up a book and actually looked at the pages. Another day they let me read them 3 pages out of a board book. And I wanted to cry because this, this is why books need to surround your kids.

Those pathetic shelves aren’t even accessible to the little kids. I’m sure that story time is done as a chore to quiet them down, not as an exciting activity. I’m sure too that they must have a few more books in their bedrooms but honestly, Abby. It’s 2022. You’re allowed to own as many as you want, that’s an enormous privilege, you have the money and time to buy them or get them from yard sales for fifty cents….let your kids read! If only so that when reading they can escape to a world where you don’t exist.

[SuperNova]

Isn't it just awesome for Abbie that "normal" happens to only include people like her white, hetero, Christian family. The rest of us are crooked, perverted, and confused. Seriously, fuck Abbie.

I've mentioned before that I don't like the word hate. I think it's unproductive. I almost never use it but I truly struggle with not hating this disgusting bigoted woman hiding behind a shiny facade. The audacity and narcissism that it takes for Abbie to assign herself the best and only correct position and appoint herself as the arbiter of right and wrong makes me want to throw her off of a cliff. 

Spoiler

 

[luv2laugh]

40 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Isn't it just awesome for Abbie that "normal" happens to only include people like her white, hetero, Christian family. The rest of us are crooked, perverted, and confused. Seriously, fuck Abbie.

I've mentioned before that I don't like the word hate. I think it's unproductive. I almost never use it but I truly struggle with not hating this disgusting bigoted woman hiding behind a shiny facade. The audacity and narcissism that it takes for Abbie to assign herself the best and only correct position and appoint herself as the arbiter of right and wrong makes me want to throw her off of a cliff. 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

She gets off on taking something popular, speaking against it with confidence, and act like it’s cool. She knows it will offend, and is OK with that. She reminds me a lot like Lori A except Abbie is able to take those type of concepts & make it sound less crass so that people aren’t automatically brushing her off. It’s a clever way of brainwashing people to shift to the more extreme side of fundie and is sort of what people think the Bates family does.

The attention she has been getting has also seemed to have made her more narcissistic. She’s starting to write her posts as though she’s the new Beth Moore of all Christian women & uniting her followers as “sisters” in her club. I see her as dangerous & this is reminding me of the beginning of Gwen Shamblin, but in a different way.

Edited July 31, 2022 by luv2laugh

[feministxtian]

It took her 16 years to collect that many books? I can do that kind of damage in a day (with the heavy duty high limit VISA). Otherwise, thrift shops are GREAT places to find books. I recently culled my book collection because it was getting ridiculous. I'm also becoming quite fond of my Kindle and Nook apps on my IPad. I have a couple of children who would probably be happy to be locked in a library for the rest of their lives. 

I'll be taking a bunch of books into school this week. My summer has come to a screeching halt. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Isn’t pride a sin? Because every post of hers just oozes it. 

[Cults-r-us]

4 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

 

The attention she has been getting has also seemed to have made her more narcissistic. She’s starting to write her posts as though she’s the new Beth Moore of all Christian women & uniting her followers as “sisters” in her club. I see her as dangerous & this is reminding me of the beginning of Gwen Shamblin, but in a different way.

4 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

She gets off on taking something popular, speaking against it with confidence, and act like it’s cool. She knows it will offend, and is OK with that. She reminds me a lot like Lori A except Abbie is able to take those type of concepts & make it sound less crass so that people aren’t automatically brushing her off. It’s a clever way of brainwashing people to shift to the more extreme side of fundie and is sort of what people think the Bates family does.

The attention she has been getting has also seemed to have made her more narcissistic. She’s starting to write her posts as though she’s the new Beth Moore of all Christian women & uniting her followers as “sisters” in her club. I see her as dangerous & this is reminding me of the beginning of Gwen Shamblin, but in a different way.

Braggie is more like lazy Lori A. in that her appeal is to a few goofy fans. Neither are particularly charismatic or engaging, unless you are united in snark, as are "sisters" of the FJ club!

Braggie can only dream of being a Gwen Shamblin. I read Weigh Down in the early 90's and probably toyed with the notion of buying a bible study. Gwen didn't seem like a deranged narcissist then, just a helpful sort who wanted to share how she lost weight. Who'd of guessed she'd build an empire (and cult) on the backs of people who hated bring fat?  Braggie is not clever enough to exploit such an insecurity in people (because she has no empathy).

[Rowan]

Like the other bookworms here, I’m stunned that Braggie thinks those shelves are worth feeling superior about in regards to her book collection. My son owned more than that three years ago, and he wasn’t even born yet! Now just his books take up two three shelf bookcases that are probably two feet wide. And there are more in his room and other places.
 

We won’t talk about what will happen when he goes to the bookstore for the first time in a few weeks for his birthday. It might be a full week’s work in that final bill. But it’s worth it because it is so important and he has learned so much. 
 

As for his parents, we made the formal living room space into a library when we bought our house. Having a space to do that was a must have. Twelve floor to ceiling bookcases wrap around two of the walls. And that’s only half of the full size bookcases in our house! A lot are my husband’s and really need to be culled (he has six different versions of annotated Alice in Wonderland for Pete’s sake!). So anyway, Braggie, to misquote Shania, “you don’t impress me . . . At all”

[Bluebirdbluebell]

20 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Isn't it just awesome for Abbie that "normal" happens to only include people like her white, hetero, Christian family. The rest of us are crooked, perverted, and confused. Seriously, fuck Abbie.

I've mentioned before that I don't like the word hate. I think it's unproductive. I almost never use it but I truly struggle with not hating this disgusting bigoted woman hiding behind a shiny facade. The audacity and narcissism that it takes for Abbie to assign herself the best and only correct position and appoint herself as the arbiter of right and wrong makes me want to throw her off of a cliff. 

  Hide contents

 

I personally don't know anyone who acts like more of a "victim of their own kids" than Abby.  Examples of this include her fury at the kids for messing up the couch cushions, her constant aggressiveness towards Shiloh, etc.

Savvy is Savannah Edwards, who is Tik Tok political commentator. Here's an article about her (link).

Be "salty"?

I'm not sure what salty means here and why she's telling her fans to be salty.