Maxwell 53: Escaping the Borg by Marriage. Who'd Have Thought Sarah?

[Tatar-tot]

9 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Sarah Maxwell got engaged on my birthday!  Such a nice present.

I hope she's deliriously over the moon happy. That the proposal was everything she ever dreamed, but never though would happen. I hope that Stevehovah wasn't consulted and pitched a freaking fit when he learned it was a done deal,  I hope Teri (or one of the brothers) told him to knock it off.

Is is wrong to hope Teri cracked an ice cold Pepsi in secret to toast the happy couple?

I wonder how and when they met?  Is is possible it was during that trip she took a few years ago? Is it possible that she kept the relationship a secret and moved out when the girls went off to college. to have more time with her boyfriend?

I want Sarah to have a stunning gorgeous dress.  I want Chelsy and the soon-to-be SIL to help with hair, make-up, and decorations.  Stevehovah will likely insist on the drabbest, cheapest, most depressing, unjoyful, hole-in the wall wedding and want to give his reversal/ fertility sermon.  I want someone, anyone, to stop him.  Maybe Teri could stop being "terified' long enough to yell at him not to spoil Sarah's wedding like he spoiled her life.

Interesting that Kory B is 43 and never married.  In my experience most fundie men marry young . Except for Natty Darnell. But then he has .... uh .... issues.

And no vasectomy talk at the wedding.

Where is Sarah registered?  I want to send her a wedding present.  🥰

[gracegrace]

YAY Sarah! Skinny jeans, front hugs, time spent with kids wearing neon necklaces and dancing, a fiancé with real health insurance and not “health sharing” — it’s amazing. Remember a year ago, when she was buying her first car? I wish her all the happiness in the world. 
 

[postscript]

Yay, Sarah! It’s amazing that a group of anonymous internet posters, none of whom personally know Sarah and all of whom thoroughly disapprove of her father’s beliefs, are so delighted that she found a life partner. I wish them all the happiness in the world. She certainly deserves it after all those years of servitude to her family. 

Not so long ago, everyone was convinced none of the Maxwell girls would marry. Now Sarah is engaged, Mary seems to be on the same path, and Anna appears to be getting to know eligible young men, too. Who would have thought it a year ago?

[zee_four]

14 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

I looked up his hometown to see whether Sarah would have to move far, and at first I was like, oh, Kansas to Oklahoma, that looks pretty close, but then I looked again and it's a five-hour drive *lol*.

Distances in the US are just too much to handle for us poor Europeans...

When I lived in SE Utah we drove 100 miles to Colorado for the closest Walmart. That was also the town where I had to go l, starting 6 mornings a week and down to once or twice a month, for meds and treatments. Before I moved to Utah l lived in a Colorado mountain town where I grew up and had to go to the same town for treatments it was 140 miles each way on a road that closed for rock slides and blizzards sometimes. It was a 5 hour commitment every morning then I worked at night.

I'm in Hawai'i where my dad was born and raised now. He's Polynesian. My ohana freaks out when I tell them how far was a normal drive to me in the rural Mountain West  O'ahu is only like 35 or 40 miles cross end to end lol!! Theyd fit in with Europeans it seems 

 

 

 

 

And holy Jesus Mary Joseph and BATMAN!!!! Sarah is getting married after leaving home to live on her own. I'm still processing this.... 

Edited July 7, 2022 by zee_four

[JermajestyDuggar]

So Sarah is getting married in august 2022. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mary was married in summer 2023. And my guess is that Anna will probably be married by 2024. I know it doesn’t look like Anna has a special friend. But she’s meeting lots of young Christian men in college. Along with young Christian ladies wanting to introduce Anna to their single brothers. I bet she will by married by 2024.

[Bethy]

52 minutes ago, treemom said:

eta to add a couple sentences and also add I agree the concussion protocol probably was a catalyst as well.  There was just so much happening in 2020 and 2021 with the whole family

You make a good point. Just from what we know from the blog, we have the following issues arising:

• NR-Anna's cancer. The realization that you can live a godly, squeaky-clean life and horrible stuff can happen to you. The realization that cancer could cut you down in the middle of your childbearing years. The realization that nothing in life is guaranteed. All this might have made eternal SAHD-hood and "waiting for life to begin" sound like a worse idea. (Chelsy's heart problems probably underscored this as well, though the girls were out by the time those issues were known.)
• Sarah's concussion - this likely hooked her up with some additional resources, particularly for mental health. If you were a medical professional - ANY medical professional - and you had a 38-year-old woman show up with lingering concussion issues and she's perpetually dressed in baggy, frumpy dresses and probably accompanied by one or both of her parents, isn't that going to raise some red flags? Especially if she's scoring high on depression screenings (This is obviously a ride on the idle speculation bus, but it follows logically given family history and her situation.) I don't think that a doctor could legally do anything to intervene, as she's a competent adult, but they could certainly plant some seeds of "this isn't normal" over a series of visits.
• The church. Someone upthread pointed out that maybe they joined CotOD because of Anna and Mary enrolling at ABC and needing to be members of a real church that has membership, or maybe it really was the pandemic locking them out of their nursing home, but either way, now they've all got eyes on them as well. An aging couple with three bright adult daughters with the light going out in their eyes a little more every day while they languish at home in their long skirts - more red flags. Steve's tone about this church has been fairly critical...and we know he doesn't like being told what to do. By their own admission, the pastor's counsel was a large factor in Anna and Mary enrolling in college. We don't know whether they mean the part where they enrolled online, or the part where they went on campus. Even going online was a big step.
• Jesse's wedding may have been a catalyst, particularly for Sarah. I think that having all five brothers married was difficult for her, but she looked sadder than ever after Jesse's wedding. She likely raised him; now he's "achieved adulthood" by marrying and she's still stuck at home living the same life she lived when she was twelve, just with nieces and nephews to care for instead of siblings, and marginally more fashionable clothes. 
• Not to mention the general cluster that this whole pandemic has been for everyone, and the ways it's made people question their choices and their life paths.

[ToriAmos]

56 minutes ago, Tatar-tot said:

And no vasectomy talk at the wedding.

Where is Sarah registered?  I want to send her a wedding present.  🥰

Wouldn't it be awesome if a whole lot of presents turned up for her from FJ...😆

[Giraffe]

45 minutes ago, Bethy said:

Sarah's concussion - this likely hooked her up with some additional resources, particularly for mental health. If you were a medical professional - ANY medical professional - and you had a 38-year-old woman show up with lingering concussion issues and she's perpetually dressed in baggy, frumpy dresses and probably accompanied by one or both of her parents, isn't that going to raise some red flags? Especially if she's scoring high on depression screenings (This is obviously a ride on the idle speculation bus, but it follows logically given family history and her situation.) I don't think that a doctor could legally do anything to intervene, as she's a competent adult, but they could certainly plant some seeds of "this isn't normal" over a series of visits.

My guess is this was a massive catalyst. It was probably a lot of things over a number of years but this was probably the nail in the coffin. She could’ve had clinicians who spent enough time with her for her to break down some walls and see the “outside” world isn’t all evil. Based on how comfortable she looks with her fiancée in their non-no-touch pictures I’d guess the changes started long before she moved out of Borg HQ.

[Coconut Flan]

18 minutes ago, ToriAmos said:

Wouldn't it be awesome if a whole lot of presents turned up for her from FJ...😆

We don't want any kind of discussion like that.  FJ has a no touching the poop rule.  

What people do on their own without talking about it on FJ, is their own personal business.

Do not invoke FJ in any off board actions.

Edited July 7, 2022 by Coconut Flan

[anjulibai]

I am gobsmacked! This is sooo wonderful! 

@Tatar-tot, I want to send a gift, too! I have been following the Maxwells since Abby was the only grandchild! She's 14 now! I've wondered, year after year, if anything like this would happen for Sarah, and I honestly never thought it would. This is so awesome for her! She really deserves all the happiness and I hope her marriage brings it to her. 

ETA: not intending to touch the poop, just wish to celebrate Sarah's happiness. 

Edited July 7, 2022 by anjulibai

[JermajestyDuggar]

If I sent Sarah anything as a wedding gift, it would be a wide variety of spices. No more bland burritos for her. Spice up your life now that you are out of Maxhell!

[molecule]

2 hours ago, sableduck said:

I’m really starting to wonder if we have the narrative all wrong and Sarah literally just woke up one day and said peace out, Ellie and I are moving to Oklahoma, have a nice life.  Something happened. We’ll probably never know what or why, but Sarah is clearly out there having her best unMaxwell life.

I've been wondering this for a while. Their last blog post was vague about what Sarah was up to, and the thanks expressed to Sarah for all her work struck me as insincere and too little, too late.

Maybe Sarah said bye-bye and skedaddled, and their pastor pulled Steve aside and told him that if he didn't want the other girls to do the same thing, he might want to think about sending them to college where they could meet people.

[harkasquirrel]

My jaw is on the floor!!! SARAH!!! She looks so happy. I hope she and her fiancée have a nice life together eating spicy food and drinking all the Pepsi they want. 
 

And maybe, as a gift to us, she’ll finally post the lettuce cutting tutorial.

[ElizaB]

9 minutes ago, molecule said:

 

Maybe Sarah said bye-bye and skedaddled, and their pastor pulled Steve aside and told him that if he didn't want the other girls to do the same thing, he might want to think about sending them to college where they could meet people.

I had previously thought that Anna and Mary went off to college (after much convincing from them and their pastor to their parents) and then Sarah was like- well if they are leaving so am I. 
However, I kind of wonder now if maybe I had it backwards. Perhaps, Sarah was the start of the change and influenced Anna and Mary to leave. We often forgot that Sarah practically raised them. She would most definitely have a lot of influence over their choices. 

[Xan]

The whole thread just makes me so happy.  I'm happy for Sarah but the thread also points out what I love so much about FreeJinger.  As for myself, I hate patriarchy and Dominionism.  I hate that the fundies try to control everyone else using their own rules and I loathe that they control their children.  Every time one of those kids breaks away and finds their own life, I practically feel giddy.  And here we all are rejoicing in this young woman, whom none of us know personally, and we are wishing her well.  

[Captain Obvious]

30 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

We don't want any kind of discussion like that.  FJ has a no touching the poop rule.  

What people do on their own without talking about it on FJ, is their own personal business.

Do not invoke FJ in any off board actions.

Just confirming - it would be OK to buy something from the registry in a private capacity so long as we don’t mention FJ is so doing or post about it here?

I don’t plan on saying anything in the gift message other than “congratulations”, but hell - I almost feel like she’s part of my family and genuinely want to help her married life get off to a good start. 

[Coconut Flan]

5 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

Just confirming - it would be OK to buy something from the registry in a private capacity so long as we don’t mention FJ is so doing or post about it here?

What you do personally without mentioning FJ is your own business.  Discussing it on FJ is not allowed.  

Telling us your plans is not allowed.  So for future posters, please do not say I'm going to get something and not put FJ on the card.  In other words, don't talk about it at all here if you should decide to do something.  Thanks.  

[quiversR4hunting]

So I want to know when put "Sarah Maxwell gets married" on their 2022 predictions?

You win all of the internet for the rest of the year! 

[SassyPants]

Moved out to married in 12 month’s time- That’s a lot of change in 1 year-

[AliC]

I don't have much to say, except that after following the Maxwells for a little over 13 years, I truly never expected to see Sarah Maxwell out on her own and engaged, to someone that Steve in all likelihood had no hand in choosing. And looking so damn genuinely happy, as well. I'm so ridiculously happy for her, and I even teared up just a bit watching Kory propose to her. Congratulations, Sarah. I hope life only keeps looking up from here.

Also, what is it with the time around my birthdate being a prime wedding period for older fundies? Michael Staddon and Elizabeth Frazer got married right on my birthday, and now Sarah's getting married four days before it. lol

[Bluebirdbluebell]

So I had tech problems and I was off the internet and I come back to.....

I'm both happy and sad for her. In general I tend to see marriage as a mixed blessing, especially for religious women who are generally told to let the men be in charge. 

She was living on her own and she was able to make her own decisions. Now she will have a new headship to answer to. 

I can't decide if she was happy about the proposal. One time I thought she seemed a bit flustered and embarrassed and another time it looked staged. Hopefully she had some say before he proposed in front of a crowd!

I'm also happy that she seems happy and comfortable with her man.

Her church that they go to plays music with a beat! Steve, Bill Gothard, and ABC (college that Anna and Mary go to) all hate music with a beat. 

No telling if they will have kids. Sarah Mally got married at 41 and doesn't have kids.  I hope that she doesn't feel pressure to have kids if she doesn't want to, especially since she was a sister mom. 

I hope she has a good marriage where she is an equal partner.

[molecule]

I'm bummed. I just realized that Sarah's wedding is during my family's huge annual campout that is completely off-grid. I'll miss the party you'll all be having. If there's a livestream, somebody be sure to grab screenshots for me.

[Melissa1977]

4 hours ago, postscript said:

Not so long ago, everyone was convinced none of the Maxwell girls would marry. Now Sarah is engaged, Mary seems to be on the same path, and Anna appears to be getting to know eligible young men, too. Who would have thought it a year ago?

The biggest surprise for me is the FUN they are embracing and how easily and fast they have changed their attitude. If Sarah was engaged to a mini-Steve dull fundie, and they had a no-touching courtship, nobody in FJ would be really surprised. But she is clearly  in a loving and physical relationship, with actual chemistry. Even the jeans are not as astonishing as her relaxed behaviour, IMO.

I suspect any of the 3 Maxwell girls was as isolated as we thought. The blog showed a part of their life, but didn't displayed a lot of other things. One person can drastically change in a year, but 3? 

[Black Aliss]

12 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Inquiring minds want to know if she burned all her long denim skirts and the vests.

I'm guessing there are no frumpers in her closet these days.

Someone worried that Chris would be the wedding photographer. I believe he refuses to do weddings if there is dancing and judging from the dancing going on in that video there just might be some at the wedding reception. I'd expect Steve's head to explode listening to that music.

[Ozlsn]

14 hours ago, Mela99 said:

Wait wait wait back up - Sarah is engaged? For real? To a non Maxwellian? My god. Someone check on hell, it’s getting cold

Climate change apparently has an unexpected reach.

11 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

Will her father perform the wedding? Isn’t this the one who talks about his vasectomy reversal at wedding ceremonies?

I thought it was Chelsy's father who brought up the vasectomies? Either way I'm really hoping for a livestream, I enjoyed that wedding so much!