Maxwell 53: Escaping the Borg by Marriage. Who'd Have Thought Sarah?

[Zee]

1 hour ago, molecule said:

It's a little embarrassing to realize how genuinely happy I am to see this news. Mostly I'm just happy for Sarah.  However, I'm also thrilled that it happened less than a year after she departed from Steve's household so he's faced with the fact that his daughters do much better without his presence.

You aren’t alone. I am also genuinely happy for her. And I also have a great deal of smugness about it

1 hour ago, Fun-Dee said:

If you watch this video, go to about the 30 minute mark.  You will see the actual marriage proposal to a jean clad Sarah, followed by a full frontal hug!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-SecKIMDL8

 

OMG. Flailing 

[Kylolo]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

 I wonder if he owns a house debt free? 

 

I don't know if it was debt free, but he just sold a house in May.  Source : Canadian County OK Assessor's search page.

[Mela99]

Wait wait wait back up - Sarah is engaged? For real? To a non Maxwellian? My god. Someone check on hell, it’s getting cold

[HereticHick]

And shout out to my fellows with Oklahoma Baptist Heritage--they got engaged at Falls Creek, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falls_Creek_Baptist_Conference_Center, America's biggest church camp -- the video shown is the church youths' highlight reel about what they did while they were away at Falls Creek Baptist Camp. Looks like Sarah came along as a chaperone maybe?

It really does make you wonder if Sarah moved to Oklahoma, doesn't it?

[I've suffered through a few boring family reunions at Falls Creek. And Senator Lankford was the program director there for many years.

[Alisamer]

41 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

Don’t most people know an engagement is coming? Many women I know have helped pick out their own engagement rings. Many men have literally asked for their ring size, or asked family members who then tell their relative. People in that close of a relationship talk about things. Granted I’ve never been in a fundie one but I’d assume it at least kind of works the same way. After awhile together you start planning a future together, and that often includes marriage.

Not necessarily. Like, they probably have some idea things are headed that way, but they may be totally surprised at the timing or whatever. I have no idea how my BIL figured out my sister's ring size, but the proposal was a total surprise to her (not to us, but we didn't tell her it was coming). He had the ring made for her. 

And lots of places that sell diamonds will sell the stone in a temporary solitaire "proposal" setting, so there's a ring for the proposal but the final engagement ring can be designed by the couple afterward. 

I think most people probably have some idea that marriage is on the table, but the actual proposal itself is a surprise. My BIL proposed in front of the castle at Walt Disney World. My cousin took his girlfriend out on the premise of seeing some new job-related thing and surprised her with the ring at a park (with a friend lurking with a camera nearby). One guy I knew bought his girlfriend a holiday Barbie for Christmas and slipped the ring on the doll's arm. 

[lexiloumarie]

Spoiler

Another photo under spoiler because mobile so no idea if it'll be huge. Guess we know why she moved out now. Wow. 

[ClareDeLune]

2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

So how do we think she met this guy??

He has a techy role in agriculture so I am thinking maybe through John and Chelsy? 

12 minutes ago, lexiloumarie said:

  Hide contents

Another photo under spoiler because mobile so no idea if it'll be huge. Guess we know why she moved out now. Wow. 

What is the t-shirt for? I'm probably being slow but did she move to OK or something?

They both look so young, like they could have met at a religious equivalent of an 18-30s holiay.

 

OMG!!! Sorry I was slow on the uptake.  Here is the video posted up front but from the start of the proposal 'game'. Sarah and Kory are on the stage: 

 

 

 

OMG steve, I bet you wish you'd married her off 20 years ago, now.  Age 40,  having FUN on stage in skinny jeans and getting a ring on her finger at youth camp! 😆😆😆 This has made my day!

Edited July 6, 2022 by ClareDeLune
OMG!!!

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

A few things about the piggy back photo. 

Sarah looks so genuinely happy, with a real smile that goes all the way to her eyes. I always saw her Maxhell photos as a smile with sad eyes. And the cute, but seemed forced, gummy smile seems to be gone. Replaced by a radiantly joyful smile.

Sarah always looked so thin in the Maxhell photos, even with all the layers of clothes and those vests. She seems to have put on about 10 lbs and looks less pinched.  Maybe she has meat in her burritos now or eats more than 2 animal crackers.

Kory B is a looker.  He's physically affectionate. That has to be a huge change in her life.

They're wearing matching tee shirts.

She's wearing her hair down, not pulled back, and and it looks somewhat shorter.

And .......

Inquiring minds want to know if she burned all her long denim skirts and the vests.

[ClareDeLune]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

According to that church bulletin fundiefan posted in the last thread, Mary's return trip is in the "August teens" depending on flight prices, which would put her back in the States just in time for Sarah's wedding, but would not allow much in the way of dress fittings if she is to be a bridesmaid (unless they knew the engagement was coming and already took care of it before Mary's departure.) So maybe she is or maybe she's not.

The actual return date is in the latest bulletin, it was something like 10th Aug I think.

[theologygeek]

2 hours ago, Fun-Dee said:

If you watch this video, go to about the 30 minute mark.  You will see the actual marriage proposal to a jean clad Sarah, followed by a full frontal hug!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-SecKIMDL8

 

The way the crowd went wild gave me chills!  Sarah deserves the positive attitudes and energy after living with Mr. Doom And Gloom all her life. 

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, theologygeek said:

My thoughts...  He seemed to have a normal upbringing.  They went to public school, the father (who has passed away) was their coach, and he also took them to sporting events.  Some of them went to universities.  There's an accountant, a hair salon owner, a personal trainer.  I didn't look through all the siblings because I have a lot of work to do.  They enjoy fun activities.  They love water sports and the beach (my favorite too)  Her boyfriend is handsome and smart.  He seems good with kids.  Sensitive the way he broke down crying when he was getting ordained.  I admit even I got teary eyed lol  You did good Sarah!  You picked a good one!!!

The beach, you say? I wonder if Sarah has ever been there at, like, peak beach time? (Not on a cold winter day, dressed in frumpers and sneakers.) This is a whole new world of vacation possibilities that don't involve the same old rented cabin in Colorado, Costco and the sock-shopping trip, and getting up at 3AM to hike a 14er and eat two Pringles at the top. Just from what has been observed and described it doesn't sound like this is a guy who is going to haul her on hikes where she's literally terrified of the terrain in a place that gives her altitude sickness.

[theologygeek]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

According to that church bulletin fundiefan posted in the last thread, Mary's return trip is in the "August teens" depending on flight prices, which would put her back in the States just in time for Sarah's wedding, but would not allow much in the way of dress fittings if she is to be a bridesmaid (unless they knew the engagement was coming and already took care of it before Mary's departure.) So maybe she is or maybe she's not.

That was me who posted it.  I think it was the teens.  Have to look back and check.  

[SusanAtTheLastBattle]

I feel a surprising amount of joy and satisfaction.

One of the best parts, IMO, is that Sarah moved away into her own place before marrying and making a home with her husband. Even if the move was in some way related to having a boyfriend--we don't know the timeline on when she met Kory--she left her suffocating father's house not immediately into the headship of a man. 

We can assume that everything she is doing, she has chosen.

[Mela99]

Is it at all possible Sarah has cut ties with Steve and Teri?

[theologygeek]

4 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

Is it at all possible Sarah has cut ties with Steve and Teri?

I doubt it.  Sarah volunteered in the open door church nursery.  If the other two girls had the minister for support and intervention, Sarah probably did too.  Those girls were smart.  They knew they needed a minister to intervene.  

[HermioneSparrow]

I'm in SHOCK!!!! Go Sarah! She's getting married on my birthday this year

I bet Steve is fuming and that's the best part of it all. I really hope the Maxwell ladies get the happiness they always wanted very far away from Steve. Hell, I'll include Teri on that wish, lol. Suck it, Steve!

[SPHASH]

Aug 20, I believe Aug 21 is Teri’s birthday and their wedding anniversary 

[ClareDeLune]

24 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

That was me who posted it.  I think it was the teens.  Have to look back and check.  

I think you posted one where Mary was asking for donations and she put vague dates in.

When I tried to find it again there was this later bulletin where it seems the pastor is on a trip at the same time . https://faithconnector.s3.amazonaws.com/opendoorinfo/downloads/06122022_bulletin.pdf

Quote

Please pray for both Mary Maxwell and Pastor Efta as they travel to Africa. Mary will be going to South Africa and Zimbabwe from June 20-Aug. 10 for short-term missions opportunity and to seek the Lord with regard to vocational missions. Pastor Efta will be traveling to Uganda next week to train some pastors there and then will be visiting the Blackwells in Zimbabwe. Please pray for safety, discernment, and fruitfulness in ministry for both of them.

 

3 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Aug 20, I believe Aug 21 is Teri’s birthday and their wedding anniversary 

Are these the people who agreed not to cry but to wait til the next day after the first child got married.  That will be a special birthday/anniversary sobfest then.

[theologygeek]

1 minute ago, ClareDeLune said:

I think you posted one where Mary was asking for donations and she put vague dates in.

When I tried to find it again there was this later bulletin where it seems the pastor is on a trip at the same time . https://faithconnector.s3.amazonaws.com/opendoorinfo/downloads/06122022_bulletin.pdf

 

I didn't post the donation one.  I posted this one.  Went back to look.  She's coming back Aug 10  

[Bethy]

I just went back and watched the video a little closer. Some things I noticed:

What a FUN group! Lots of TikTok-ish dancing going on in various group activities. Hands raised in worship. Even if it was a larger-group camp (like, their group was at an actual camp with other churches) the fact that they're willing to spend time with people who aren't strait-laced fundies speaks volumes. The really hyper-legalistic ones won't go anywhere near those kinds of places because they don't want to mingle with those kinds of people. And the background music on the video - a far cry from Steve choosing bluegrass as the family's style because it wasn't "easily abused" or something (aka too easy to sound worldly.)

Is that Sarah at 31:51? Looks kind of like her, playing volleyball in the sand. In shorts! I'm not 100% sure though, because she appears to have a watch on her left wrist and nothing on her right, which is weird because I'm pretty sure she's left-handed and has always been seen with a watch on her right wrist. On the other hand (pun not intended) it might be a stick-on paper bracelet for the event and she just left off her Apple watch or whatever she wears to keep it from getting scratched or wet.

It appears to me that the whole "head/shoulders/knees" game was rigged to ensure that Sarah and Kory would be left onstage last so the proposal could happen. How thoughtful and fun - obviously he has a good rapport with a whole lot of people for them to be willing to do that whole stunt just to set up a proposal.

[caitrona]

On 7/4/2022 at 11:09 PM, Mrs Ms said:

I don’t think you give sermons about death and your testicles at your children's weddings if you are faking it, but the blog? Definitely curated!

"Death and Your Testicles" would be an excellent name for a rock band (especially if testicles is pronounced similar to Greek gods) or a memoir. 

[nokidsmom]

Wow, just wow.   I hoped someday this would happen for Sarah but so long as she was stuck in the compound, I seriously thought it wouldn't.   Once she moved out, that is when I thought she might have a chance and look it didn't take long for her to find somebody, which has me thinking that Steve's fingers were not in this at all.   I am still of the opinion that Steve was the biggest obstacle to all his daughters finding partners, that were guys interested in them but like with the Botkin girls, suitors would have to go through their fruitcake of a father.  

Interesting that once the Maxwell girls were out, they immediately started really living their lives and having fun!  Just shows how much they were being held back.   

So happy for Sarah, and yes she did this after moving out into her own place which IMHO means she had a lot more space to find someone and to make this decision. 

[ClareDeLune]

11 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

I didn't post the donation one.  I posted this one.  Went back to look.  She's coming back Aug 10  

Sorry, I was skim reading in excitement, I can see now you already posted that one

 

It was fundiefan who posted this link earlier, can't believe we all missed out back in April on the begging letter for Mary's trip https://faithconnector.s3.amazonaws.com/opendoorinfo/downloads/04032022_bulletin.pdf

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Do we know for certain that Kory B has never been married? Although it seems likely--his grandmother died in 2016 and no wife is mentioned in the obit: https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/168798900/alice-marie-bollinger

Personally I would be very surprised if he'd been married previously. The Baptist churches I've been part of have been very persnickety about leadership (pastor and deacons) being "the husband of one wife" so divorced men aren't welcome in leadership. (I've never been in a Southern Baptist Church, which seems to be Trinity's flavor, so their mileage may vary.)

Aside from being Southern Baptist (that's not the best people to be aligned with right now) I like some things I see on their site and FB page. They have a post acknowledging Juneteenth. Also their "set list" for April 1st includes We Don't Talk About Bruno, Livin' On A Prayer, Let It Go, Jingle Bells, and "One of the songs from Kanye's Christian album" which to me says they have a sense of humor and that they expect their people to recognize those titles - which, a year or two ago, I daresay Sarah would not have known.

[DJ1234]

I mostly lurk here and have followed the Maxwell's for years. While I don't share their theology, I have missed their blog posts.  I am so happy for the three women, and in particular Sarah.  I would love to know more of story, but I doubt that will happen.  It's too bad, it could be a rare opportunity to talk about how life and faith and convictions can evolve.