Maxwell 53: Escaping the Borg by Marriage. Who'd Have Thought Sarah?

[lexiloumarie]

2 minutes ago, molecule said:

That might be partly my fault. I accidentally liked the engagement announcement post when I was picking up my phone this morning. I immediately unliked it and I'm probably not the only one, but that's the kind of thing that lets people know that others are paying attention. Oops.

An ex of mine did that to me recently and I laughed. I've been married over a decade with kids. 

[Hane]

@molecule, that’s why I never even hit a reacticon on Jill’s FB, for fear my left-leaning pinkoness will get blocked.

[nokidsmom]

11 minutes ago, MomJeans said:

Also, I never doubted that Sarah could still get married if she wanted to.  I still strongly believe that Steve turned down courtship offers years ago.  He almost robbed her of a life, and I hope deep down all the Maxwells know it.

Agree that the biggest obstacle to Sarah getting married was her dad.   As insular as the Maxwells were, they weren't so insular as to go out into the world doing their conferences and attending other events where they would have met people including young men who might have been interested in the Maxwell daughters.  And these were fundie or fundie(ish) circles to boot.

I think it very likely that Steve did send suitors packing.   I also think that after a certain amount of time word would have gotten around in their circles that Steveovah had such impossible standards that some potential suitors didn't even try.  Might have Sarah and her sisters known it?  Probably, because you (general you) can accept the reasons / excuses for so long before you start questioning or you hear things.  I really would like to have been a fly on the wall to see what went on in the Maxwell household before the daughters moved out.

That things have changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time for all 3 of them tells me that there was a lot of pent up life waiting to be lived.  

I hope that for his sake Steveovah sucks it up and supports this daughters in their choices.    IME failing to support your grown children as they make their way in life, making choices that are pretty run of the mill btw, just because you don't have the control anymore or not willing to be walking examples of your unfun ideas of life, is a major error. 

 

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I just realized that not only is Sarah moving out of the neighborhood, she's moving out of town and 5 hours away out of state.

Woo and hoo for her. She'll be too far away for Steve to bother. Too far to be expected to babysit her nieces/ nephews.  Too far to take care of Stevehovah and Teri, which I always thought was their plan for Sarah.

She'll have her own house. She can make her own schedule. She can cook what she and Kory want/like, freed from Steve's fasting and dietary restrictions. She might have her own children. Kory B has a good job with state benefits. I doubt he'd throw it up to live next door to Steve.

She'll now be "extended family" -- extended right out of Stevehovah's clutches.

I wonder if she'll keep working for her brothers?  She can be remote and still do everything they need.  Imagine!!  A married Maxwell woman with a job.

Surely this is an age of wonders and miracles.

[Loveday]

6 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

She can cook what she and Kory want/like, freed from Steve's fasting and dietary restrictions. 

 

I'd be willing to bet big money that not a single meatless burrito will ever be served from Sarah and Kory's kitchen. 

[theologygeek]

49 minutes ago, molecule said:

That might be partly my fault. I accidentally liked the engagement announcement post when I was picking up my phone this morning. I immediately unliked it and I'm probably not the only one, but that's the kind of thing that lets people know that others are paying attention. Oops.

I don't think it's your fault.  The first time we saw Chelsy in pants, we discussed it here and the picture was gone.  Another time we talked about the picture of her at the hospital with no mask on, and that picture was removed and replaced with a mask pic.  They read here.  Sarah, if you're reading here...  YOUR FIANCE IS HOT!!!  AND SMART!  YOU GO GIRL!!!  

[fundiefan]

I had lunch with family today and I was cheerful & fidgety. When asked why, I Had to stop and think about it, I realized how truly excited I am for Sarah. Of course I couldn't tell the family I was excited for a 40 year old woman I never met getting engaged, so I just  said I was happy to be out & with good company. Which I was; I just probably wouldn't have been fidgety without Sarah's news,

I am insanely excited & happy for her & her new life. 

[AnnaSofia]

Does anyone remember Teri's "Happy Birthday" message to Sarah when she turned 37?

It pissed me off to no end at the time. My reply here on FJ:

This just proves it for me. Steve relaxes his strangle-hold on the girls, and within what? Less than a year? Sarah is engaged, and Mary is looking close to it.

I was actually a bit more proud of Sarah for moving out of the mothership by herself. SAHDs marrying later in life is rare, but not unheard of (Andrea Reins, Sarah Mally). Bible college and missionary work was a pretty big departure from Maxhell's standard operating procedure, but not so unusual for fundies. Living alone as a single, reasonably independent adult woman? It seemed a lot more revolutionary to me.

That said, she seems extremely happy with her fiance, and I'm thrilled for her. She seems like she's in such a better, happier place than she was for so many years. I'm actually tearing up!

Edited July 6, 2022 by AnnaSofia

[browngrl]

Well pass me my smelling salts because this news might make me faint. ! I am so happy for Sarah - as are we all. If she does read here (and I hope she does )  I want her to see just how many people are  cheering her on. 

The only thing that would make me happier is if she posted about the wedding and her new life .....but maybe that is asking for too much. Best to settle for wishing her congratulations from here. 

Also: big applause for all the FJ sleuths who got all the details - you are all amazing

[Magenta]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

@molecule, that’s why I never even hit a reacticon on Jill’s FB, for fear my left-leaning pinkoness will get blocked.

one laugh react from me was all it took. 

[hoipolloi]

Well pass me my smelling salts because this news might make me faint. ! I am so happy for Sarah - as are we all. If she does read here (and I hope she does )  I want her to see just how many people are  cheering her on. 
The only thing that would make me happier is if she posted about the wedding and her new life .....but maybe that is asking for too much. Best to settle for wishing her congratulations from here. 
Also: big applause for all the FJ sleuths who got all the details - you are all amazing

Would also love details & photos but if there’s any snarkee on FJ who deserves to make her own choices about sharing or privacy, it’s Sarah Maxwell.

I just hope that Steve & Teri aren’t being killjoys. If they are, Sarah’s brothers had better be running interference for her. They fucking OWE her as do their wives.

Yay, Sarah!

[BullyJBG]

Happy dance! Happy dance!

[MamaJunebug]

I couldn’t be happier if she were my own child. Seriously, my eyes are welling up with tears.  May this be a Long-lasting love match of mutually respectful adults who support each other over many years of halved sorrows and doubled joys!!!!

AND gettin’ out of Leavenworth! 

❤️ ¡¡¡¡¡YAY SARAH!!!!! ❤️ 

Edited July 6, 2022 by MamaJunebug

[Bethy]

46 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I had lunch with family today and I was cheerful & fidgety. When asked why, I Had to stop and think about it, I realized how truly excited I am for Sarah. Of course I couldn't tell the family I was excited for a 40 year old woman I never met getting engaged, so I just  said I was happy to be out & with good company. Which I was; I just probably wouldn't have been fidgety without Sarah's news,

I am insanely excited & happy for her & her new life. 

I'm really thankful my husband didn't ask why I'm still in the clothes I slept in and no visible progress has been made on the summer organization adventures I was supposedly planning to do today...basically since I read this news this morning, I've only left the screen to take a nap. I am WAY too invested in someone I've never met but I'm just SO excited at how this has all turned out for her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m very glad Sarah was able to live outside of Maxhell for a little while before marriage. I hate seeing these young fundie girls going straight from daddy’s house to their husband’s house. That’s why I was so glad to see all 3 Max ladies living away from home.

[ElizaB]

I'm crossing my fingers that her fiancee chooses to live stream the wedding so all the youth in his church can watch it. 

[sableduck]

I watched some of the church services. Girls in short shorts talking about camp where they had fun and did not listen to sermons about death and vasectomies.

Women in contrasting patterns.

Sarah in skinny jeans.

Dancing, glow sticks, fun.  Oh my goodness did that camp look fun.

I’m really starting to wonder if we have the narrative all wrong and Sarah literally just woke up one day and said peace out, Ellie and I are moving to Oklahoma, have a nice life.  Something happened. We’ll probably never know what or why, but Sarah is clearly out there having her best unMaxwell life. 

[MomJeans]

She’s going to be a beautiful bride, I really hope we get to see a picture.

[Bethy]

Has anyone watched the whole Trinity Church video? Can we tell from what's said (particularly by the kids) about the week whether Sarah is a permanent fixture or if Kory brought her in to help for the week - and of course also get proposed to while winning head/shoulders/knees?

[Bastet]

So three out of four Maxwell women are in a better place. And whose to say that Teri isn’t on meds, making it four? We would have no way to hear about it the way we would the other changes. (I know, I know: if the depression ever lifted, she’d leave Steve. . . .)

  

[JermajestyDuggar]

My longtime speculation: I said awhile ago when she stepped back from the blog after her concussion, she actually had time to think and realize she didn’t want to keep doing the blog. She had been posting 3 times a week for many years. She probably just did it without question. And when she had to step back, she probably realized she didn’t miss it. Why go back to doing something that is so much work when you don’t want to? I think once you start questioning something you’ve done for almost 20 I years, you probably start thinking about changing up other things. I think it’s a natural progression. On top of that, they had to start a new church and make other changes. That was probably just the catalyst that got the ball rolling. 

Edited July 7, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[treemom]

I can’t imagine Steve has changed much, he may tolerate his children but I’m sure he thinks they are making the wrong choices.  Of all the families I thought would stay in, it was always the Maxwells.  What is interesting is I feel like it’s the women who really shook the foundation.  Even Anna of the extended family.  Her blogging her journey was the most real thing on their blogs.  I wonder how much that influenced the Maxwell women to live their own lives.  Steve is death obsessed but maybe the real realization that of the short time we have made something work.

 

all these churches are to conservative for my liking, and I’m sure I abhor their beliefs.   But they are a mainstream, normal life for people who were raised like they were bonsai trees.   And I’m very happy for them.  And so curious as to the backstory on what happened.  And I think probably happy we will never know too.

 

eta to add a couple sentences and also add I agree the concussion protocol probably was a catalyst as well.  There was just so much happening in 2020 and 2021 with the whole family

Edited July 7, 2022 by treemom

[molecule]

I wonder if her future husband asked Steve's permission or if he just went for it?

Also, because apparently I'm still only 12 years old despite being born before 1965, Sarah finally gets to have sex!

[theologygeek]

33 minutes ago, sableduck said:

I’m really starting to wonder if we have the narrative all wrong and Sarah literally just woke up one day and said peace out, Ellie and I are moving to Oklahoma, have a nice life.  Something happened. We’ll probably never know what or why, but Sarah is clearly out there having her best unMaxwell life. 

I'm starting to think the same thing.  I don't think she met him after she moved out.  She stopped posting regularly on the blog at the end of June 2021.  After that, her parents posted and she posted just a few here and there.  There was a picture of her traveling in I think July of last year.  She very well could have said peace out, I'm done.  And her brother helped her because he gave her a full time job so she could pay the bills that come with living on your own.  Also, her mother was her accountability partner.  Who wants their mother to know their every move when they get a boyfriend?  And also to have their text messages and phone calls monitored.  That's just weird.  

[justmy2cents]

Just when DuggarData stopped following the Maxwells something HUGE happens.  Go Sarah!!!