M Is for Mama 13: Taking Selfies to Glorify the Lord

[3splenty]

When my 3 were little, one of my phrases when they'd melt down was, "Those are big feelings, aren't they?"

Big feelings in little people are tough!  Heck, big feelings in big people are tough!  And it's okay to not understand those big feelings.  We would sit together and we'd talk about the "monster-sized" feeling until it was "bunny, kitty or frog sized" (each kid had their own animal).  Then they could manage the feeling, because they were bigger than a bunny, kitty, or frog.  Stuff like, "I would be mad, too, if sister took my toy Moose without asking.  It's okay be feel angry, but its not okay to hit her.  What could we do instead?  No, no biting.  How about telling her she needs to give Moose back, how would she feel if you took her fuzzy purple bunny?"  But that took time and patience, neither of which Braggie has.

[zee_four]

On 4/4/2022 at 7:29 AM, Alisamer said:

The kitty who chose me as his person still so far refuses the litter box and runs outside when the door is open (unless he's outside already, then he runs indoors, as is the way of cats). So he's an indoor/outdoor kitty at least for now. I don't yet let him in the house unsupervised, but he can come in and stay as long as he wants while I'm there. I'd prefer an all-indoor situation, but he doesn't seem OK with that for now, so here we are. Some cats just get used to being outdoors and don't adjust well to life inside, while some prefer indoors and consider the outside a scary place.

However, we don't seem to have many predators here. If there were, I'd keep him inside. And he has a warm safe place to hide even while outdoors.

Oh yeah outdoor cats aren't a bad thing- unless you live somewhere like Colorado when they're a pretty du m b and cruel thing. Barn cats are different because they have a barn to stay safe from predators for the most part, and are raised by barn cat moms (or they should people who think they can take any old cat and turn them into a barn cat usually arent long time farners/ranchers, etc. But they have to be raised as outdoor cats. If they're not then its cruel to put them outside. As far as the original post we get that here in Hawai'i with feral cats and its much better they're spayed and neutered and fed with a safe home base. A lot them just won't be inside. It also doesn't get cold here and we don't have any predators. Cats kind of top the food chain here. But even here you wouldn't want to shove a kitten who was raised indoors outside. 

2 hours ago, 3splenty said:

When my 3 were little, one of my phrases when they'd melt down was, "Those are big feelings, aren't they?"

Big feelings in little people are tough!  Heck, big feelings in big people are tough!  And it's okay to not understand those big feelings.  We would sit together and we'd talk about the "monster-sized" feeling until it was "bunny, kitty or frog sized" (each kid had their own animal).  Then they could manage the feeling, because they were bigger than a bunny, kitty, or frog.  Stuff like, "I would be mad, too, if sister took my toy Moose without asking.  It's okay be feel angry, but its not okay to hit her.  What could we do instead?  No, no biting.  How about telling her she needs to give Moose back, how would she feel if you took her fuzzy purple bunny?"  But that took time and patience, neither of which Braggie has.

That is so cute! When I taught preschool we did something very similar, we didn't use the animal reference. These fundies drive me mad because they expect toddlers and even babies to be "little adults" but then when it comes to developmentally appropriate indepdence towards adulthood especially in preteens, teens and worst, actually effing young adults, they lock that down hard. Its honestly the worst of both worlds. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

3 hours ago, zee_four said:

Oh yeah outdoor cats aren't a bad thing- unless you live somewhere like Colorado when they're a pretty du m b and cruel thing. Barn cats are different because they have a barn to stay safe from predators for the most part, and are raised by barn cat moms (or they should people who think they can take any old cat and turn them into a barn cat usually arent long time farners/ranchers, etc. But they have to be raised as outdoor cats. If they're not then its cruel to put them outside. As far as the original post we get that here in Hawai'i with feral cats and its much better they're spayed and neutered and fed with a safe home base. A lot them just won't be inside. It also doesn't get cold here and we don't have any predators. Cats kind of top the food chain here. But even here you wouldn't want to shove a kitten who was raised indoors outside. 

Cats being the top of the food chain creates it's own problems as they will prey on small animals, like birds, squirrels, etc. They could hunt wild life to the point of extinction. 

 

[zee_four]

5 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Cats being the top of the food chain creates it's own problems as they will prey on small animals, like birds, squirrels, etc. They could hunt wild life to the point of extinction. 

 

Right which is why we heavily manage the cat colonies here. It's mostly volunteer groups but we work on feeding colonies in a safe area away from roads and try to hit the sweet spot of the amount, not too much so it fuels growth but not too little that they starve and/or start hunting because they need to eat. On top of that we do TNR or trap neuter (or spay) and release. That way we can -humanely- work on controlling the feral cat population on the islands. Unfortunately in the past they would poison colonies, mostly at the behest of people who were concerned about birds. Which they should be healthy ecosystems are important, and being of indigineous Hawaiian background native species are important to me. But poisoning is cruel and ineffective and hurts more wildlife because they get poisoned too inadvertently through poisoned water/soil/plants or from the posion meant for cats. Also here in Hawai'i mongeese (mongooses?) immediately filled their spot on the food chain. So all that happened was cruel poisoning of wildlife and the environment for no gain. Yuck.

So we manage colonies here with controlled feeding and TNR. Hawaiian Humane Society will S&N feral and stray cats for free but volunteers have to trap and bring them in. We need more support for the TNR program but there's a faction here of more well off retirees who hate the cats and blame them for dead sea turtles and monk seals which they are not. The feces they say Is form cats is from the large homeless populations. Its easier to be anti cat here than anti homeless so it all gets mushed together. One of the leaders who claims to be a staunch proponent of wildlife posts in next door gleefully about when driving swerving to hit cats and of even adopting free cats and kittens and killing them. All for the wildlife right? 

Please don't think I'm lumping you with them. They're a small but vocal faction in the Hawaiian feral cat issue. You're totally right that unrestricted feral cats do cause major issues, but speaking for Hawai'i countless cat lovers work together to humanely alleviate this problem and protect all species and wildlife in a humane fashion. 🌞🐱🌞🌈🏝🌺

[TuringMachine]

15 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Cats being the top of the food chain creates it's own problems as they will prey on small animals, like birds, squirrels, etc. They could hunt wild life to the point of extinction. 

 

Yeah as a bird lover, I'm firmly on team keep your cats inside

https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms2380

[Alisamer]

16 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Cats being the top of the food chain creates it's own problems as they will prey on small animals, like birds, squirrels, etc. They could hunt wild life to the point of extinction. 

 

I agree - as long as Buddy is still going outside he's wearing a bell on his collar. It will likely help at least a little. I also don't want him hunting and bringing me gifts, trying to feed me! 

Luckily he seems to like the bell, and will sometimes scratch at the collar seemingly just to make the bell ring. He has a vet appointment next Wednesday and his cat carrier arrives today. I'm probably going to spend the weekend acclimating him to it and trying to see if he'll stay inside as much as possible, since in order to get him to the vet appointment I'm going to have to be able to locate him quickly so I probably will need to keep him in the house instead of letting him out during the day. Though if he does well with the carrier (it's one of the bigger expanding ones), I might try taking him to work after lunch. He can nap beside me in there for a couple hours I think. Will have to hide the poodles away when I bring him in, but they won't come in my office if the door is closed once he's here.

He is the sweetest bean but it's tricky right now getting everything situated. If he'd just use the litter box I'd be much more relaxed about things and would just keep him indoors full time.

[feministxtian]

One place we lived, we had a balcony and LOTS of pigeons. Left the door open and Luke decided to explore the balcony. He was fine right up until a pigeon landed on the wall (it was a half wall). He jumped straight up about 3 feet and RAN like his ass was on fire inside. This is why I can leave doors and windows open and my morons will not bother going outside. 

[3splenty]

6 hours ago, TuringMachine said:

Yeah as a bird lover, I'm firmly on team keep your cats inside

https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms2380

Our Walter tries to catch birds.  He parks his furry backside RIGHT BESIDE THE BIRD FEEDER post and stares up, waiting for his lunch.  Hasn't caught a bird yet.

But he's a great hunter of sticks and leaves.  ❤️  I always praise him.

[SuperNova]

Allow me to summarize: Haha frizzy hair but seriously guys, birth control causes abortions. Jesus stretches me! Buy my shirts! 

What the hell is wrong with this woman? 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Allow me to summarize: Haha frizzy hair but seriously guys, birth control causes abortions. Jesus stretches me! Buy my shirts! 

What the hell is wrong with this woman? 

  Hide contents

 

She’s such a liar with this because she does use some form of birth control! My guess is condoms. She’s fully admitted that she decides on the timing of her pregnancies. Which means she probably uses NFP/Condoms/pull out. And she needs to be completely transparent about that with her humpers. She makes it seem like she’s quiverful and trysts god. But she doesn’t. And was totally possess when she fucked up and got pregnant with twins before she decided she wanted to get pregnant again. So fuck her and her lies. 

Edited April 9, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[SuperNova]

12 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She’s such a liar with this because she does use some form of birth control! My guess is condoms. She’s fully admitted that she decides on the timing of her pregnancies. Which means she probably uses NFP/Condoms/pull out. And she needs to be completely transparent about that with her humpers. She makes it seem like she’s quiverful and trysts god. But she doesn’t. And was totally possess when she fucked up and got pregnant with twins before she decided she wanted to get pregnant again. So fuck her and her lies. 

She didn't crap on NFP, only birth control. Which translates as 'I should be able to do as I please but your personal choices for your body are wrong.' What struck me about her post was the manic topic switches. The inevitable meltdown post is just around the corner. 

[QuiverFullOfGoats]

14 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She’s such a liar with this because she does use some form of birth control! My guess is condoms. She’s fully admitted that she decides on the timing of her pregnancies. Which means she probably uses NFP/Condoms/pull out. And she needs to be completely transparent about that with her humpers. She makes it seem like she’s quiverful and trysts god. But she doesn’t. And was totally possess when she fucked up and got pregnant with twins before she decided she wanted to get pregnant again. So fuck her and her lies. 

If you’re on the combined hormone pill, it should be keeping your ovaries from releasing an egg altogether, if taken correctly.   Therefore, sperm and egg don’t meet up.  Am I missing something???  She talks about bc as if it all commits abortion and that is definitely not the case.  
 

[zee_four]

11 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

She didn't crap on NFP, only birth control. Which translates as 'I should be able to do as I please but your personal choices for your body are wrong.' What struck me about her post was the manic topic switches. The inevitable meltdown post is just around the corner. 

I get what you're saying but tehnically NFP is birth control as are condoms. She might be using a very very rare effect of hormonal birth control but she says "birth control" no birth control pills, not hormonal birth control. She could use a copper IUD. She could get her tubes tied. Those don't thin uterine lining. But again Braggie lies by omission and misrepresents herself as anti BC because she knows/thinks it's what her only supporters, fundues and fundie lite think and want. Birth control has gotten so combined with hormonal BC pills which is unfortunate because there's so many types of BC that can work for every person, relationship, etc. (Except quiverful fundies I guess, but if they understand NFP is birth control and not the "evil abortion kind" maybe that would help some of those women but who knows) 

2 minutes ago, QuiverFullOfGoats said:

If you’re on the combined hormone pill, it should be keeping your ovaries from releasing an egg altogether, if taken correctly.   Therefore, sperm and egg don’t meet up.  Am I missing something???  She talks about bc as if it all commits abortion and that is definitely not the case.  
 

That's how it works in like 95% of cases. It also causes the cervical mucus to thicken, again inhibiting fertilization and also thins the uterine lining making implantation less likely. The latter is the most uncommon and is like maybe 1% of the time but of course fundies and anti reproductive rights types aren't great at stats or critical thinking. I believe it wasn't the planned method of functioning but a side effect that also helps prevent pregnancy. 

That only applies to hormonal BC though. NFP, copper IUDs and multiple other new types make this a non issue or even less likely. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

14 minutes ago, QuiverFullOfGoats said:

If you’re on the combined hormone pill, it should be keeping your ovaries from releasing an egg altogether, if taken correctly.   Therefore, sperm and egg don’t meet up.  Am I missing something???  She talks about bc as if it all commits abortion and that is definitely not the case.  
 

Many fundies say this bullshit. It’s been around for ages. Hell even JB and Michelle blame their miscarriage 3 decades ago on birth control pills. They all believe it. No matter how many facts you give them. They believe whatever they want.

[SuperNova]

45 minutes ago, zee_four said:

I get what you're saying but tehnically NFP is birth control as are condoms. She might be using a very very rare effect of hormonal birth control but she says "birth control" no birth control pills, not hormonal birth control. She could use a copper IUD. She could get her tubes tied. Those don't thin uterine lining. But again Braggie lies by omission and misrepresents herself as anti BC because she knows/thinks it's what her only supporters, fundues and fundie lite think and want. Birth control has gotten so combined with hormonal BC pills which is unfortunate because there's so many types of BC that can work for every person, relationship, etc. (Except quiverful fundies I guess, but if they understand NFP is birth control and not the "evil abortion kind" maybe that would help some of those women but who knows) 

I was pointing out how she splits hairs. NFP and condoms are most certainly forms of birth control. It's disgusting the way these types of women want to police other people's bodies. Thinning of the uterine lining is such a weird place to draw the line. I agree with you and @JermajestyDuggar, she's lying by omission. 

Edited April 9, 2022 by SuperNova

[zee_four]

39 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

I was pointing out how she splits hairs. NFP and condoms are most certainly forms of birth control. It's disgusting the way these types of women want to police other people's bodies. Thinning of the uterine lining is such a weird place to draw the line. I agree with you and @JermajestyDuggar, she's lying by omission. 

Oh I gotcha! I understand and definitely! Which is ridiculous because they think they're fine because "BC= bad" and what they do isn't bad. But then their gullible disciples will apply that to ALL birth control not just hormonal forms. Although.  I hate to err in side of OfJB but compared to Braggie she at least later actually practiced quiverful while she preached and admitted to using BC. Braggie it is NOT a good thing when Michelle Duggar is more consistent and truthful than you. 

[theotherelise]

Shaun also could have gotten a vasectomy or Abbie a tubal ligation. Neither of those options are abortifacients. (Setting aside the fact that IMO pregnancy doesn’t begin until after implantation so you’re not ending a pregnancy even if an embryo is prevented from implantation and that is most likely a very very small occurrence if it happens at all).

I love how Abbie says life wouldn’t be better if she had less kids or sent her kids to school. She has absolutely no idea! But saying all women should make the smart choice that works for them would be feminist. Can’t do that!

[neuroticcat]

Had to laugh at the cryptic “not my story to tell “ as though mom influencers haven’t created thousands of followers by exploiting a child’s privacy. Social media delusion is real. 

I also wonder how much deconstructing it would take to lose the mindset that her life situation is “hard.” Is it just the lack of comparison to other global cultures? History? Socioeconomic status? I am not minimizing the challenges of large family life, but for many people throughout history, large families also came with poverty, lack of proper health care, hunger, and disease. Suburban American homeschooling - at least the image Abbie projects - is not a hardship. 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, neuroticcat said:

I also wonder how much deconstructing it would take to lose the mindset that her life situation is “hard.”

As soon as she gets help for her OCD tendencies and starts understanding her narcissim and makes conscious choices to stop being an attention hound. She could put her kids in school. Someone could leave her with another QF family that does not have the resources she has. I'd start with putting the kids in school and getting a fucking job 

[NotQuiteMotY]

13 hours ago, zee_four said:

 

That only applies to hormonal BC though. NFP, copper IUDs and multiple other new types make this a non issue or even less likely. 

But IUDs cause abortions, too, because they prevent implantation! /s 

Just, seriously, I wish they'd give it up. Birth control is not an abortificant because in order for it to be it would have to allow implantation, when the hormonal methods usually don't even allow ovulation. Considering how many extremely early pregnancies end in miscarriage, birth control probably prevents more "lives lost" than it does cause them.

11 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I also wonder how much deconstructing it would take to lose the mindset that her life situation is “hard.” Is it just the lack of comparison to other global cultures? History? Socioeconomic status? I am not minimizing the challenges of large family life, but for many people throughout history, large families also came with poverty, lack of proper health care, hunger, and disease. Suburban American homeschooling - at least the image Abbie projects - is not a hardship. 

Eh, "hard" is different for everyone, so I'm not going to harp on that. She's definitely privileged and doesn't have a clue that she is, though. And most of us, if something is hard, we acknowledge that it is and then either keep working until it's not or try to change the circumstances that make it hard. She not only martyrs herself, she builds her own cross and provides the nails.

[SunnySide]

On 4/7/2022 at 1:01 PM, grateful1230 said:

Lmao the "difficult" years are yet to come, Braggie. My kids are 20, 20, and 26 (all boys, two are my nephews). Hoping she continues to entertain me on lunch break for years to come.

If she thinks the difficult years end after toddlerhood, tween age, teenager or wherever I would love for her to meet my parents. They can tell Braggie all about my “difficult” year at age 35, when my entire life imploded. I know when kids are adults and not living at home how you help your adult child and deal with their issues is very different from say a screaming three year old, or angry teen. I won’t share my life story, but there’s no way in hell what my parents watched me go through was easy for them. So whether it’s Braggie or any other parent waiting for the difficult years to be over I guess all I can say is that parenting in some capacity will always be hard. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, SunnySide said:

If she thinks the difficult years end after toddlerhood, tween age, teenager or wherever I would love for her to meet my parents. They can tell Braggie all about my “difficult” year at age 35, when my entire life imploded. I know when kids are adults and not living at home how you help your adult child and deal with their issues is very different from say a screaming three year old, or angry teen. I won’t share my life story, but there’s no way in hell what my parents watched me go through was easy for them. So whether it’s Braggie or any other parent waiting for the difficult years to be over I guess all I can say is that parenting in some capacity will always be hard. 

I think she might have a harder time when some of her kids are adults because they can make their own choices. I think it about drove Lisa Pennington insane when 2 of her kids did their own thing and refused to do what she wanted as adults. Of course she puts on a fake smile for social media but I bet it about killed her that she couldn’t control Faith or Chris any longer. I think Braggie will be the same. Some of her adult kids will do things their own way. And it will kill Braggie. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

and trysts god.

A typo yes -- but she'd tryst Jesus if she could  

[theotherelise]

My mom started menopause in her early forties as my brother was leaving for college and my sister in high school and me in middle school. That seemed super fun for her lol.

Also, a lot of people might start facing health issues for their parents while at the same time navigating the transition of kids leaving home. So many stressful life events to come. The twins were born when Abbie was 38ish, right? When she’s 50, her kids will be ~ 12, 12, 13, 15, 17, 20, 20, 21, 24, 26. (And let’s be real, probably a 9-10 year old too)

Imagine a menopausal Abbie with five tween/teen boys and five older children going to college or living in other places with partners or obligations that mean they won’t just come back whenever she wants to take a porch picture! 

Edited April 9, 2022 by theotherelise

[Ozlsn]

19 hours ago, theotherelise said:

love how Abbie says life wouldn’t be better if she had less kids or sent her kids to school.

It is sad that she can't see that by martyring herself to a role she comes across as absolutely hating a lot of the time she also sacrifices her children's wellbeing on the altar of her "coming closer to the feet of Jesus".  Her children would benefit from having a mother who was able to give them more time and individualised attention, who wasn't constantly on the edge, who wasn't obsessed with the idea that she needed to procreate for attention Jesus. They'd also benefit from a wider socialisation pool, time away from her (and each other) and a bit of space in general.

4 hours ago, theotherelise said:

Imagine a menopausal Abbie with five tween/teen boys and five older children

Just imagining a menopausal Abbie is bad enough given how much of her identity is bound up in fertility. I hope her kids are able to go far from home to study.