Maxwell 48: The Maxwellhood of the Traveling Vest

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, CyborgKin said:

Teri seems uncharacteristically chatty in replying to all the comments on the girls' night post.   Some of her replies are longer than the comments she's replying to!

I just read all the comments and noticed that too. My first thought was that she actually enjoyed the evening very much and was just excited to keep talking about it. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, usmcmom said:

I just read all the comments and noticed that too. My first thought was that she actually enjoyed the evening very much and was just excited to keep talking about it. 

Maybe because Steve wasn’t there to dampen her spirits. 

[fundiefan]

Last night I was sitting on the sofa, reading a book, minding my own business when I got a text message from my cousin.

She & her husband have a seasonal campsite & it turns out tomorrow there is a live band at one of the shelters - a band we all loved to see when we were young adults. She sent a group text to all of us who used to go see this band to see if we'd like to come to the campsite Saturday night, see the band, and stay the night. 

Less than 48 hours notice. No one's schedules were coordinated or examined in depth to find the right time. It was Saturday night, end of story. Are you free? Do you want to come up to the campsite? Let me know. 

Of the 6 of us in the group text, 5 of us are going. The only one not going is one who has a wedding to attend. The rest of us - there is this little thing called flexibility and another thing called priorities and another thing called free will. We all also have jobs, men & women alike. Kids. Grandkids. Lives. 

We examined what we may have going on and made a decision. Just like that. Life, it's not that difficult. 

I think the Maxwells are so schedule-brainwashed that they have no concept of how to just live life. They're lost in the rules and specifics and the written schedule. To the point where I don't think there is anything healthy about it. 

 

[Coconut Flan]

11 hours ago, Jasmar said:

Questions, I haz: What made Chelsy think any restaurant anywhere would let a diner bring in their own food? And what the heck, Olive Garden actually agreed? 

I mean, it’s nice because that meant Anna was able to participate, but it just seems very strange to me.

It happens especially for problematic food issues.  I have several food allergies and when asked about their ingredients quite a few restaurants have been faced with make me special food separate from their usual or let me bring in food.  So far it's about 50/50 on each option.  I try to find restaurants where I can order from the regular menu without any alterations, but it isn't always possible.  You know it's bad when the chef comes out to discuss what to prepare and how.  I had to stop by the kitchen for one wedding reception and for another they took note of my allergies and removed the items from the kitchen while preparing the dinner.  In both cases I told them I just needed to know which if any dishes to avoid, but they made the choice to make sure everything that was served was allergen free for the MOB.  I think they wanted to avoid any chance of drama.  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

4 hours ago, Bethy said:

Some interesting comments, particularly the poster who commented that they hoped the Maxes left a good tip considering they tied up the table for such a long time. (That's valid, BTW. That server had multiple tables occupied, probably for hours, while people who only spend time with each other allegedly chatted about the stuff all of the rest of us already know from reading the blog.) IDK if Olive Garden does the "parties over X size have an automatic 18% gratuity added to their bill" or not...I have a friend who used to work at some upscale-ish restaurant (Ruby Tuesday's or Uno's or something like that) and they had that in place, and she benefitted GREATLY from the occasional huge party (with the corresponding huge bill, and sometimes a nice load of alcohol served as well) who didn't read the fine print about the automatic 18% gratuity and added on their own tip besides. I would just smirk a little if that happened with the Maxes. Particularly if they were trying to leave a carefully-calculated exactly-15%-and-no-more tip. And even more so if they made a big show of praying before the meal or asking the server how they could pray for them, and then tried to leave a stingy tip, but it got more than doubled by the automatic gratuity. That would amuse me.

I think the Bontragers even more than the Maxwellls would be guilty of wanting to leave a smaller tip and pray for them. Since Chelsy is a Bontrager, I could see her thinking this. 

I googled it and it seems Olive Garden doesn't add automatic gratuity. 

[SPHASH]

Shame Abby wasn't invited.  She's what 13 now?  They expect her to act like an adult so why not take her along.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

22 hours ago, kpmom said:

Yes, everybody does look nice in the Olive Garden picture.  Sarah especially looks sporty with her sunglasses on top of her head.  And her smile looks real and not the posed smiles we always see from the Maxwells.

And yes, please, save us from how long Chelsy had to plan to get everyone together.  I get together with a group of friends sometimes and no one has to spend weeks (weeks!) figuring out a day and time to get together.

I don't believe anyone is that busy.

They aren't busy. The sell that amazing scheduler product too. You'd think it would be easy. No, the wives have to make sure the  husbands are free to "babysit" and that it works "well" with their plans for the week. Welcome to my Grandmother's world (born in 1904)--only she paid the cleaning lady to babysit.

[Black Aliss]

BEC alert!

It's a shame there wasn't a professional photographer or even an instagrammer in the group who would have thought to move the dirty dishes out of the way before taking the picture.

[0 kids n not countin]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

BEC alert!

It's a shame there wasn't a professional photographer or even an instagrammer in the group who would have thought to move the dirty dishes out of the way before taking the picture.

Did they all order the unlimited soup, salad, and breadstick meal?????

[CyborgKin]

I was cutting pizza (homemade on Lebanese bread) with a knife last night and found myself wishing I had a lettuce cutter to do the job.

[browngrl]

What special diet is Anna on? Is it for a study or is it just something she decided to do? 

[fundiewatch]

I’m sure it’s related to her cancer treatment. My mother in law has pursued non-standard treatment and she has been on some very atypical diets. 

[Jana814]

12 minutes ago, fundiewatch said:

I’m sure it’s related to her cancer treatment. My mother in law has pursued non-standard treatment and she has been on some very atypical diets. 

I’m sure that’s what it is. A family friend had pancreatic cancer & she was on an alternative diet as well.  The last year or so of her life she had to bring her own food to places.  

Edited June 26, 2021 by Jana814

[fundiewatch]

7 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

I’m sure that’s what it is. A family friend had pancreatic cancer & she was on an alternative diet as well.  The last year or so of her life she had to bring her own food to places.  

I know it was also questioned above, but we have never had any issue with restaurants accommodating outside food whether it was for MIL, special needs kid etc. 

[fundiefan]

22 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Shame Abby wasn't invited.  She's what 13 now?  They expect her to act like an adult so why not take her along.

I don't know. In my family, the "kids" are just now becoming part of "girls night" or whatever you want to call it. 

Growing up, us cousins were together a lot and we kept that up as we became adults, with obvious adjustments. We have girl's weekends, etc. We get together for brunch or dinner. It's been the five of us adult women for many years. Our mothers & aunts did the same, without us. 

There were many times when all the "girls" in the family got together, like going to a play or a football game weekend at the college three of the "kids" were attending. Those times included all three generations - my mom & aunts, us cousins, their kids. But, none of that superseded our plans as a group of five.

This year, for our girl's camping weekend, the younger generation is coming for the first time. This particular weekend has been, for many years, just us five cousins/siblings. Now my two nieces, niece-in- law & my cousin's two daughters-in-law will also be there. They age from mid 20's to mid 30's. 

Anyway, that was a lot of rambling to say I don't think it's necessary to automatically include the next generation when they reach a certain age. There are bonds involved (at least in my case) and years of "traditions" and it's a process.

Also, the girls of the generation below us weren't all that interested in hanging out with the moms & aunts until they "grew up" a little themselves. When they were in high school & college & young adults - they were establishing their own lives & creating their own traditions & experiences. Now, they are all married and all but two have kids of their own. I think, at least in part, we are all on equal footing now, so it's not like they're hanging out with mom; they're hanging out with peers. 

At 13, I didn't even want to go with my mom & aunts wherever they went. It wasn't until I was an adult in my own right that I wanted to hang out with them in a social type setting, beyond family things. 

I also think it's totally normal for people to bring their own food to restaurants. Not for your average picky eater, "I'm special" bs things, but for people with legitimate reasons.

( High horse side note-do not effing lie & say you're allergic to something in order to get special treatment or something. I AM effing allergic to shellfish, all shellfish; it's SEVERE; I couldn't even walk Fishermans' Wharf in San Francisco because my throat started swelling up. I accidentally grabbed my sister's beer & took a drink - and she had been eating shrimp; I ended up in the hospital. I have to be very careful & ask a lot of questions about how my food is prepared if I eat at a restaurant that serves shellfish. Don't make shit up because all that does is put people with legitimate issues in a negative light & risks their getting "exceptions" because "oh, everyone says they're allergic...." - - end high horse rant).

Anyway. There are foods people literally cannot eat. There are conditions that are being treated by specific diets (cancer, to name one - -Anna). There are allergies. There are tons of reasons people need to only eat what they prepare. That should not prevent them from being able to get together with friends/family at a restaurant. 

Edited June 26, 2021 by fundiefan

[anjulibai]

Going back to Sarah praising Chelsy for her hard work finding a time that worked for everyone, what I find odd id that was mentioned at all.

When other people post about group get togethers, they never mention that part. My mom's family is really big (she had 8 siblings), so get togethers with everyone are hard and don't happen regularly. But when they do, we don't talk about the organizing of it, especially on social media. We talk about what we did, what we talked about, we share pictures, more than just one. 

I know the Maxwells are slaves to their schedules, but do they really have to make such a big deal about it? Do they not realize it's not some big feat to plan a get together at a restaurant? Criminy, this irritates me.

[fundiewatch]

Oh I think that their entire house of sand would crumble if they admitted how easy it is to schedule at least Terri and the three girls at home. They eat nearly all their meals together and have twice daily bible time together. They spend so much time on the blog insisting on their busy-ness and need for scheduling, and that’s been for years and years. They never acknowledged even slightly how much their time was freed up when they were no longer traveling with Uriah. 

[MomJeans]

(I have a family member with a severe food allergy, and some restaurants will not allow him to bring his own food in.  It's likely a liability/insurance issue. For his part, he just calls ahead, and if it's a no-go, he eats before he goes, and orders bottled water.)

When Teri commented on the blog that she hopes this becomes an annual tradition I wanted to scream "Terri, this can be a monthly thing! You don't have to wait a year. You are an adult, if you want to have dinner with your daughters/in-laws, you can do so as much as you want!"

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 6/25/2021 at 9:17 AM, fundiefan said:

Last night I was sitting on the sofa, reading a book, minding my own business when I got a text message from my cousin.

She & her husband have a seasonal campsite & it turns out tomorrow there is a live band at one of the shelters - a band we all loved to see when we were young adults. She sent a group text to all of us who used to go see this band to see if we'd like to come to the campsite Saturday night, see the band, and stay the night. 

Less than 48 hours notice. No one's schedules were coordinated or examined in depth to find the right time. It was Saturday night, end of story. Are you free? Do you want to come up to the campsite? Let me know. 

Of the 6 of us in the group text, 5 of us are going. The only one not going is one who has a wedding to attend. The rest of us - there is this little thing called flexibility and another thing called priorities and another thing called free will. We all also have jobs, men & women alike. Kids. Grandkids. Lives. 

We examined what we may have going on and made a decision. Just like that. Life, it's not that difficult. 

I think the Maxwells are so schedule-brainwashed that they have no concept of how to just live life. They're lost in the rules and specifics and the written schedule. To the point where I don't think there is anything healthy about it. 

 

I long for those days. Before I had kids, I loved the ability to just make plans the day before or day of. Some of my friends had kids before me so I was always the flexible one who could just go by their busy schedule. It’s way easier when a friend wants it to be ladies only. When it’s a family affair, it’s a disaster trying to schedule. It is usually a month in advance. If it’s couples, that’s even worse because I have to find a babysitter and make sure we have nothing else going on. I will love it when my kids are old enough to stay home alone. I will feel like I have more freedom. 

Edited June 26, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Going back to Sarah praising Chelsy for her hard work finding a time that worked for everyone, what I find odd id that was mentioned at all.

When other people post about group get togethers, they never mention that part. My mom's family is really big (she had 8 siblings), so get togethers with everyone are hard and don't happen regularly. But when they do, we don't talk about the organizing of it, especially on social media. We talk about what we did, what we talked about, we share pictures, more than just one. 

I know the Maxwells are slaves to their schedules, but do they really have to make such a big deal about it? Do they not realize it's not some big feat to plan a get together at a restaurant? Criminy, this irritates me.

They make a living selling scheduling books. They have to talk about their schedule all the time or people might forget to buy some of their wares. 

That, though, is part of a much larger brain f*ck picture when it comes to Maxhell. They harp so strongly on the things Steve deems important - the schedule, isolation, women are scary & will take your salvation, - that they really don't even know how to think in a natural way. Every thought, every idea, every emotion is filtered through the world Steve has created for them. 

Very much like a....well, a cult. The thoughts are given to them, they function within the guidelines. 

[Black Aliss]

15 minutes ago, MomJeans said:

When Teri commented on the blog that she hopes this becomes an annual tradition I wanted to scream "Terri, this can be a monthly thing! You don't have to wait a year. You are an adult, if you want to have dinner with your daughters/in-laws, you can do so as much as you want!"

Oh, no! That would be too much f*n. Also, think of how many weeks Chelsy had to devote to organizing this. Not possible on a monthly basis.

[AnnaSofia]

2 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Also, the girls of the generation below us weren't all that interested in hanging out with the moms & aunts until they "grew up" a little themselves. When they were in high school & college & young adults - they were establishing their own lives & creating their own traditions & experiences.

The problem is that in Maxhell*, no one gets to establish their own lives and experiences. I feel for Abby because by being the eldest of the grandkids, and a dozen years younger than her youngest aunt, she doesn't really have a peer group within the family. Bethany is only a couple of years younger (though that can be a lot at that age) but Abby doesn't have any close-in-age cousins to hang out with (at least not on the Maxwell side, do we know if they socialize with Melanie's family at all?).

In another world, maybe Mary could be the "cool aunt" and they could go take a fun art class together or something, but again, Maxhell.

 

*I know Nathan and Melanie aren't quite as strict as the OG Maxwells, but they're still far from the norm.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I know Sarah is the main blogger and has had to be careful about screen time since her concussion, but it seems they aren't even trying to keep to 3 posts per week anymore. We need to know how to schedule cleaning the underside of the sink drain cover for goodness sake!

[kpmom]

Restaurants should add a mandatory 20% tip on any table that announces to the server that they are going to pray and asks what the server would like them to pray for. ?

Teri sure slipped out of that commenter's remark about leaving the tip by putting it squarely on Chelsy's shoulders, didn't she?

[SassyPants]

Why would the PG mom with a 2 YO and 1YO have to be the person to set it up? Why couldn’t Teri or Sarah arrange it?