Maxwell 48: The Maxwellhood of the Traveling Vest

[ifosterkittens]

I can see Chelsy Bontrager Maxwell trying to be kind and accommodate Steve's diet, and make him an oil free stir fry with carrots, broccoli, bell peppers, sugar snap peas, mushrooms, black beans, fresh ginger, garlic and red pepper flakes, and Steve and Teri taking a bite wondering why the veggies still have some crunch, and OMG all that flavor! 

[crunchycarrots]

I practically ran over here just as soon as I had the chance today to see what you folks had to say about the "stir fry" post. ? I don't think I've ever been more disappointed in the Maxwells than I have been today.  That food...just why?  Why would someone take a picture of that and post it on their blog?  It looks gross.  And that technique is NOT stir-frying!  Not in anyway. What Teri is describing sounds like braising without a lid or rather using the food as a lid (mashing it down) and then reducing the liquid over low heat.  By definition stir-fry is done over high heat, not over level 2 on a flat top stove. I have a cast iron wok (that sucker is heavy duty) and when properly seasoned and heated screaming hot, it is possible to stir fry without oil. It is not ideal, however, and if one is trying to achieve a very-low fat dish, the food tastes 1000% better with just a touch of oil that can be applied directly to the food right before putting it in the pan. When doing this technique, I use avocado or unrefined grapeseed oil that is sold in a spray can (without propellants) so that I can add the lightest touch of oil and make it spread as thinly as possible over my food.  

[socalrules]

I hate kale so I never cook it but wouldn’t it cook down to basically nothing? Two cups of kale seems like it would be nothing, especially for two people. I sometimes make four ounces of ground turkey, a little onion and half a bag of spinach with feta cheese on top. It’s barely a breakfast meal for one person. I don’t see how Teri’s “stir fry” can be filling when it’s mostly onion. 

[AnnaSofia]

1.) That is NOT stir fry.

2.) That IS an insane amount of onions (I like onion, but yikes).

3.) I'm SUPER jealous that the Maxwell's grocery store regularly has Xtreme Wellness tortillas on sale for 1/2 off. I love those things (especially the Spinach & Herb, and Tomato Basil) but they're hella over-priced, and I never see them on sale near me

 

[browngrl]

That "stir fry" dish is the "hair shirt" version of a meal - it is painful and uncomfortable but you get to feel superior to the rest of the common folk which I guess is right up Steve's alley. They best part is they sacrificed all the flavour for nothing - Steve had to go on medication anyway.

[Dominionatrix]

Is it completely insane that I want to try this just to know what’s really like? Rufus help me, next thing you know I’ll be cooking JRod yellow for research, too. 

[nelliebelle1197]

6 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

Is it completely insane that I want to try this just to know what’s really like? Rufus help me, next thing you know I’ll be cooking JRod yellow for research, too. 

Cooking that much onion down for that long means she is caramelizing the onion and the flavor will likely be pretty deep. It might now be as bad as people think.

[fundiefan]

18 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

What?!?!, Stir fry takes less than ten minutes! There will be absolutely no vitamins or nutrients left in those vegetable if she cooks them that long. Totally defeats the point.

Yup. An hour of cooking veggies is basically a waste of electricity/gas/fire. 

It could explain why Teri is so thin. Eve if she puts stuff in her mouth, it's apparently been sucked of all nutrition beforehand.

I rarely sauté any veggies, I'm a fan of roasting them. But, they can be sautéed in a ton of things besides oil. 

I think a huge part of Steve & Teri's problem is they lack imagination. By choice, but still. If they would use Google (like their daughter suggested so vehemently) they could find a million and one ways to cook vegetables and many other things - like, almost anything - without oil while still keeping not only nutrients but flavor and texture. 

I'm beginning to think Steve like mush. Look at the mashed beans they call burrito filling. That chicken/cream soup/beef concoction of Teri's. And this monstrosity. 

https://blog.titus2.com/2018/02/19/make-the-most-of-your-leftovers-part-1/

Pretty sure we know where Steve's heart issues came from. 

 

Edited July 3, 2021 by fundiefan

[MamaJunebug]

14 hours ago, Hane said:

She “sautées” vegetables in veggie stock instead of oil. I

Jumping in: I cook asparagus by bringing it to a quick boil in about an inch of water in a 10” “frypan.” 
Turn off the heat as soon as water boils snd let it sit covered for a few minutes. Vegetables are perfection and the remaining water goes into the dogs’ dishes - they practically inhale it! 

46 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Yup. An hour of cooking veggies is basically a waste of electricity/gas/fire. 

It could explain why Teri is so thin. Eve if she puts stuff in her mouth, it's apparently been sucked of all nutrition beforehand.

I rarely sauté any veggies, I'm a fan of roasting them. But, they can be sautéed in a ton of things besides oil. 

I think a huge part of Steve & Teri's problem is they lack imagination. By choice, but still. If they would use Google (like their daughter suggested so vehemently) they could find a million and one ways to cook vegetables and many other things - like, almost anything - without oil while still keeping not only nutrients but flavor and texture. 

I'm beginning to think Steve like mush. Look at the mashed beans they call burrito filling. That chicken/cream soup/beef concoction of Teri's. And this monstrosity. 

https://blog.titus2.com/2018/02/19/make-the-most-of-your-leftovers-part-1/

Pretty sure we know where Steve's heart issues came from. 

 

That leftover recipe!

If I could’ve replied with WTF, eyeroll AND barfing, I would’ve. As is, I think you’ve got half the answer: Steve half ate his heart into bad shape. The other half? He hardened his heart against Jesus’ real message.

Just Dr. Junebug’s diagnosis. Do with it what you will.  

[church_of_dog]

17 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

Jumping in: I cook asparagus by bringing it to a quick boil in about an inch of water in a 10” “frypan.” 
Turn off the heat as soon as water boils snd let it sit covered for a few minutes. Vegetables are perfection and the remaining water goes into the dogs’ dishes - they practically inhale it! 

Although I am experimenting more and more with casseroles and I do enjoy roasted veggies, most often I make pasta and, purely for the sake of it being a one-pot meal, cook the veggies in with the pasta.

Technically this makes them boiled, but I add the veggies (most often either broccoli, kale, cabbage, or asparagus) only a few minutes before the pasta is done.  The veggies are still a bright color when done cooking.

But the reason for my post, MJB, is that I learned a few years ago that asparagus can be eaten raw!  Ever since then, it rarely makes it into the house from the garden.  I just munch as I walk and then notice it's all gone before I reach the door...

Also, a story about how much my mom a) didn't like cooking -- which explains why I was barely taught anything of it when I was young, and b) was a child of her era, a young bride in the mid 50s, a mother of young kids in the 60s and early 70s, partaking of many of the newfangled "convenience" foods of that time:

A few years ago I was visiting mom and offered to make dinner.  She doesn't like strong flavors so I defaulted to one of her usuals, chicken breast and broccoli.  I can't recall if I steamed or boiled the broccoli, but I took my portion out after just a few minutes, while it was still bright green and slightly crunchy.  I cooked her portion a few minutes more before serving it to her.  Still, she commented that her broccoli "wasn't done" and so I put it back in the water until nearly grayish green and soggy, at which point she was happy to eat it. ?‍♀️

Edited July 3, 2021 by church_of_dog

[MamaJunebug]

10 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

But the reason for my post, MJB, is that I learned a few years ago that asparagus can be eaten raw!  Ever since then, it rarely makes it into the house from the garden.  I just munch as I walk and then notice it's all gone before I reach the door...

Oh now you’ve done it!!! LOL! I’ve loved the little spear-trees since babyhood! Literally!

BMJB told the story of letting me hold the can of asparagus (circa 1954, not judging my BMJB!) while she cooked - and when she took the can from me? EMPTY!  
 

Enjoying your story of your momma’s broccoli preferences. Will never forget the first time BDJB saw broccoli in my chef’s salad, asked what it was and then sighed, “You eat weird.”

   

[Bethy]

54 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

A few years ago I was visiting mom and offered to make dinner.  She doesn't like strong flavors so I defaulted to one of her usuals, chicken breast and broccoli.  I can't recall if I steamed or boiled the broccoli, but I took my portion out after just a few minutes, while it was still bright green and slightly crunchy.  I cooked her portion a few minutes more before serving it to her.  Still, she commented that her broccoli "wasn't done" and so I put it back in the water until nearly grayish green and soggy, at which point she was happy to eat it. ?‍♀️

That's exactly how my grandmother enjoyed her broccoli, except hers was also smothered in cheese.

[browngrl]

3 hours ago, fundiefan said:

And this monstrosity. 

https://blog.titus2.com/2018/02/19/make-the-most-of-your-leftovers-part-1/

thanks for that - I had just now decided to lose my appetite for the rest of the day LOL

There is one good thing about that casserole - an 8x8" pan was enough (more than enough) for 6 (yes SIX adults)

[Jigsaw3]

13 hours ago, socalrules said:

I hate kale so I never cook it but wouldn’t it cook down to basically nothing? Two cups of kale seems like it would be nothing, especially for two people. I sometimes make four ounces of ground turkey, a little onion and half a bag of spinach with feta cheese on top. It’s barely a breakfast meal for one person. I don’t see how Teri’s “stir fry” can be filling when it’s mostly onion. 

No, kale doesn't wilt like spinach does. Two cups of raw kale is pretty much two cups of cooked kale.

If she is indeed caramelizing the onions, then that could add some taste to the mess. But I'm not sure this technique is going to really do much other than create an oniony mush.

[NoseyNellie]

There are SO many cookbooks and blogs focuses on plant based eating, oil free eating, vegan eating that they could learn from.. if only someone in that home knew how to search around  on the internets....

[fundiewatch]

As bad as the Maxwells seem to cook, I have to say their poppyseed loaves and chocolate chip cookie recipes are amazing. Both recipes I’ve repeated. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

As bad as the Maxwells seem to cook, I have to say their poppyseed loaves and chocolate chip cookie recipes are amazing. Both recipes I’ve repeated. 

I have a feeling the Maxwells are good bakers but bad cooks. I can relate. I’m a better baker than cook. 

[Hane]

8 hours ago, fundiewatch said:

As bad as the Maxwells seem to cook, I have to say their poppyseed loaves and chocolate chip cookie recipes are amazing. Both recipes I’ve repeated. 

I’ve made their poppyseed loaf and really liked it. As @JermajestyDuggar said, they’re most likely much better bakers than cooks. After all, as a friend once told me, “Baking is a science—cooking is an art.”

[Cults-r-us]

22 hours ago, Dominionatrix said:

Is it completely insane that I want to try this just to know what’s really like? Rufus help me, next thing you know I’ll be cooking JRod yellow for research, too. 

During the pandemic, missing church more than I realized, I craved 80's jello salads (nothing says protestant potluck like jello with marshmallows). Point being how our palate is influenced by crasziness.

[AnnaSofia]

3 hours ago, Hane said:

they’re most likely much better bakers than cooks. After all, as a friend once told me, “Baking is a science—cooking is an art.”

Nothing more Maxwellian than taking a set of rigid instructions and following it to the letter.

But anything involving potential creativity or improvisation will have the life snuffed out of it in that house. Up to and including stir fry, apparently.

[NoseyNellie]

@Hane  and @AnnaSofia There is so much truth to that though.   A friend of mine started a gluten free cooking side business when she had to go off gluten due to her migraines.  She baked for herself, for friends, started to set up shop at winter craft bazaars and sold out at every open air summer trade and flea market around.  She was known for her baked goods, her amazing cakes etc.  Come to find out she is the WORST cook... so, so, so very bad.  ?  Her family was recently going through a temporary apartment living situation between their house selling and their new build not being ready.  Another friend who is an amazing cook told her to not even unpack her cooking stuff.. She just made double of everything and froze it for their family to make her life easier and more enjoyable for the husband/kids lol   

 

[fundiefan]

As usual the Maxwells are very grateful to live in a country where they can worship their god and harass people they deem to be less than. 

Personally, I'm struggling to find things to celebrate today. But, I guess that's because half the country is insane; wanting to take away voting rights - the very foundation of what makes the US the US - people are dying from guns & violence, the border is a war zone of politics with lives in the middle, the west coast is burning whether its from fires or excessive heat, people are dead & missing & have lost their home because money took precedence over people in Florida, and a whole building just crumbled, I awake to read about a "standoff" where not one shot was fired as white boys with their own agenda to destroy all this country ever tried to be played with law enforcement in Massachusettes. A country where people like Lauren Boebert & MTG & Matt Gaetz & Josh Hawley are in our house of representatives and Kevin McCarty blatantly worships his orange lover and basically, we are a country where that orange asshole could even get close to the presidency much less hold that office for four years. 

So, sure, Maxwells, be happy about opening your book of stories & harassing human beings you have no right to harass, all in the name of your Jesus dear leader, Stevie boy. I will mourn the loss of what this nation tried to be but is cut off at every turn by hate, arrogance & ignorance; by white and orange people alike. 

 

[SPHASH]

40 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

As usual the Maxwells are very grateful to live in a country where they can worship their god and harass people they deem to be less than. 

Personally, I'm struggling to find things to celebrate today. But, I guess that's because half the country is insane; wanting to take away voting rights - the very foundation of what makes the US the US - people are dying from guns & violence, the border is a war zone of politics with lives in the middle, the west coast is burning whether its from fires or excessive heat, people are dead & missing & have lost their home because money took precedence over people in Florida, and a whole building just crumbled, I awake to read about a "standoff" where not one shot was fired as white boys with their own agenda to destroy all this country ever tried to be played with law enforcement in Massachusettes. A country where people like Lauren Boebert & MTG & Matt Gaetz & Josh Hawley are in our house of representatives and Kevin McCarty blatantly worships his orange lover and basically, we are a country where that orange asshole could even get close to the presidency much less hold that office for four years. 

So, sure, Maxwells, be happy about opening your book of stories & harassing human beings you have no right to harass, all in the name of your Jesus dear leader, Stevie boy. I will mourn the loss of what this nation tried to be but is cut off at every turn by hate, arrogance & ignorance; by white and orange people alike. 

 

Add to the fact a wealthy rapist just got out of prison due to a technicality makes me cry for our country.

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

Add to the fact a wealthy rapist just got out of prison due to a technicality makes me cry for our country.

Oh, yes how could I forget that. Dude got out of prison on a technicality on the same day Britney Spears was essentially told she's an irrelevant POS who must do as she's told and she exists for the benefit and control of others.

*Note: I've never been a Britney fan; I was too old when she was a big deal. I also never paid much attention to her conservatorship, other than thinking - after her very public breakdown - that there were probably reasons for it and what's it to me? Then, I realized that as a woman, it matters a whole hell of a lot - and it should matter to every woman in the country, particularly those who make money & support her hanger's on -  and the way she has always been treated and the way she is still treated have been beyond horrendous and the f*ckng patriarchy must be stopped. 

My tweet that day was "I can't believe I live in a world where Bill Cosby, who is a rapist, is free on a technicality and Britney Spears, who never committed a crime, can't remove a foreign object from her uterus". 

Edited July 4, 2021 by fundiefan

[SPHASH]

6 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Oh, yes how could I forget that. Dude got out of prison on a technicality on the same day Britney Spears was essentially told she's an irrelevant POS who must do as she's told and she exists for the benefit and control of others.

*Note: I've never been a Britney fan; I was too old when she was a big deal. I also never paid much attention to her conservatorship, other than thinking - after her very public breakdown - that there were probably reasons for it and what's it to me? Then, I realized that as a woman, it matters a whole hell of a lot and the way she has always been treated and the way she is still treated have been beyond horrendous and the f*ckng patriarchy must be stopped. 

Not a Britney fan either but it's ridiculous Bill Cosby and Casey Anthony have more freedom than she does.  Britney's worst transgression was having a public nervous breakdown.