M is for Mama 9: Mom of Ten, Dislikes Them All

[mango_fandango]

I cut my brother’s fringe once, I would have been about seven and he would have been three. My mum came into the room and screamed, then my brother and I burst into tears

[FilleMondaine]

31 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

Spraying a cat is different. I don’t do it to my cat but it’s not the same. To me it’s cruel because it inflicts pain. Anyone who uses soap or hot sauce or any other punishment in the mouth or on the lips is potentially traumatizing the kid because they still have to eat. I have no research backing my opinion up, only my own gut reaction to this but it seems like it’s very very different causing physical pain to a child in order to manipulate their behavior. A sprayed cat is just wet and annoyed. 

Totally fair to say. I forgot about the pain-inducement (hot sauce, etc), and imagined her spraying kids in their faces. Which is still cruel, although less complex-inducing, to be sure. In my imagination, I imagined it to be like Bob's Burgers, and less like Mommy Dearest.

Anyhow, the whole point is that there are so many better ways to parent than she is parenting.

Even the soap-in-mouth punishment, has sort of symmetry: clean your mouth of dirty words, clean your body of dirt. Fairly easily-digestible lesson.*

But "fuss juice" just shows kids that when they approach their mommy in distress, then they will be punished. That's a really shitty thing to do to children.

*Of course, I do NOT like, NOR condone putting soap in the mouths of children. Ever. I suppose that I was thinking utterly hypothetically about teaching children. A more humane soap-in-mouth would be thus: Sweet words in your mouth beget sweet things in your mouth. Done. Not that hard, Braggie.

[SuperNova]

8 hours ago, Zommom said:

She can’t even do laundry well.

She doesn't really do anything well. Despite the image she tries to sell, Abbie's life is an exercise in mediocrity. 

Abbie was off running errands while the children took care of themselves but its totally ok there was an adult somewhere in the house. 

There's an entire wall of text about how great it is to have kids, how well behaved they are, blah blah blah. Im just over here wondering why its cool to leave a group of small children unsupervised and in charge of even smaller children. Shaun was on the premises but couldn't be bothered to actually mind his children. While its great that the kids can entertain themselves, its not their job to parent eachother. Shaun is an asshat.

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[JermajestyDuggar]

25 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

She doesn't really do anything well. Despite the image she tries to sell, Abbie's life is an exercise in mediocrity. 

Abbie was off running errands while the children took care of themselves but its totally ok there was an adult somewhere in the house. 

There's an entire wall of text about how great it is to have kids, how well behaved they are, blah blah blah. Im just over here wondering why its cool to leave a group of small children unsupervised and in charge of even smaller children. Shaun was on the premises but couldn't be bothered to actually mind his children. While its great that the kids can entertain themselves, its not their job to parent eachother. Shaun is an asshat.

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Yes, the girls are already made to be sister moms. Even though they are only 8 and 10.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

She doesn't really do anything well. Despite the image she tries to sell, Abbie's life is an exercise in mediocrity. 

Abbie was off running errands while the children took care of themselves but its totally ok there was an adult somewhere in the house. 

There's an entire wall of text about how great it is to have kids, how well behaved they are, blah blah blah. Im just over here wondering why its cool to leave a group of small children unsupervised and in charge of even smaller children. Shaun was on the premises but couldn't be bothered to actually mind his children. While its great that the kids can entertain themselves, its not their job to parent eachother. Shaun is an asshat.

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Yes! Long ago I figured out she half asses the stuff she does do, and turfs the vast majority of the work to others...Much like the Duggars and Bates. Of course you can have lots of kids when you do very little of the work and half ass the minuscule amount that you do actually do.

I will give her props for sticking with the exercising. Although, she hasn’t hopped right back to that this time either. I am not saying that she should be back to exercising, but she usually gets right back into it, likely because it gets her away from the nest while making herself some spending money

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

There is nothing about that insta picture that proves "obviously Shaun was home in his office". Nothing.  We merely have Braggie's word for it.  

So .... in the maybe 2-3 (max) hours Braggie was gone she expected 5 children to finish their school work and clean up the downstairs.  If I'm not mistaken that's Theo and Honor in the picture.  Isn't Honor a little young for school?  I doubt he reads yet.

So really what Braggie told us was that while Shaun was .... somewhere (who actually knows where) not parenting his children ..... she expected 3 little girls ages 8-10 to parent 2 of their younger brothers, finish their school work, and clean the entire downstairs of that enormous jerry-rigged fire-trap house.

Way to go Braggie [insert slow sarcastic golf clap]. Way to parent those blessings. You are such an involved mother (not). 

A feral cat is a better mother than you are.

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

There is nothing about that insta picture that proves "obviously Shaun was home in his office". Nothing.  We merely have Braggie's word for it.  

So .... in the maybe 2-3 (max) hours Braggie was gone she expected 5 children to finish their school work and clean up the downstairs.  If I'm not mistaken that's Theo and Honor in the picture.  Isn't Honor a little young for school?  I doubt he reads yet.

So really what Braggie told us was that while Shaun was .... somewhere (who actually knows where) not parenting his children ..... she expected 3 little girls ages 8-10 to parent 2 of their younger brothers, finish their school work, and clean the entire downstairs of that enormous jerry-rigged fire-trap house.

Way to go Braggie [insert slow sarcastic golf clap]. Way to parent those blessings. You are such an involved mother (not). 

A feral cat is a better mother than you are.

I feel sorry for the women who don’t see Braggie for who she is. If I didn’t know she was a narcissistic asshole, I would feel bad about my own parenting skills when looking at that post. My older child is the same age as the twins and my younger child is the same age as Theo. Today was pretty awful. Homeschooling is always a mess and my kids don’t much listen to me until I threaten a time out or taking away screens. My kids have never ever acted like her kids did today. But I’m glad I know the truth. That she hits them and sprays vinegar in their mouth until they are so afraid of her they behave. My kids aren’t afraid of me. But they also don’t listen. *sigh*

[SassyPants]

And today she started her body pump and had a GREAT day. She also walked 2 miles. Nay, she doesn’t read here. 

[Walking Cat Bed]

This hateful woman is one of the reasons my childfree self is determined to stay childfree -- being a mother like Braggie is my greatest nightmare.

I know that, realistically, I'd be an okay mom with a tendency to be indifferent (or slightly resentful). I like having a quiet life with minimal chaos, which is why I have cats instead of children. Even okay-but-indifferent isn't on my life goals list -- I really wouldn't want to hate being a mother so much that (despite continuing to have kids) strangers on the internet can tell that I resent every last one of those children for existing.

So I'll stick with cats and being the Weird Auntie.

[Xan]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I feel sorry for the women who don’t see Braggie for who she is. If I didn’t know she was a narcissistic asshole, I would feel bad about my own parenting skills when looking at that post. My older child is the same age as the twins and my younger child is the same age as Theo. Today was pretty awful. Homeschooling is always a mess and my kids don’t much listen to me until I threaten a time out or taking away screens. My kids have never ever acted like her kids did today. But I’m glad I know the truth. That she hits them and sprays vinegar in their mouth until they are so afraid of her they behave. My kids aren’t afraid of me. But they also don’t listen. *sigh*

Parenting is hard.  Anybody that tells you different is lying.  And every single one of us has had awful days and periods of time where you feel like an abject failure.  Another mom once told me that the things that kept her going was 1) she loved her kids and 2) she understood that, every day, she was doing about the best she could.  

I once told my friend that dealing with the petty squabbles and daily irritations felt like being nibbled to death by squirrels.  But, dammit, they were my squirrels and I loved them.  Now they're grown and they turned out fine.  But, in the middle of all of it, it was just hard.  Trust me, you're doing fine.

[ophelia]

Do we know any details about her book contract? I mean she is writing a book about parenting and is clearly showing abusive behaviour towards her kids on her social media channel. Wouldn't that be concerning to a publishing company?

[Nurse Nic]

14 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I like them when they're small enough to stay where you leave them and then I like them again when they can speak clearly. I like them best when they leave home.

On a day when absolutely every little thing is getting on my last nerve for no good reason, this has spoken to me and I think I shall print it and stick it on my fridge... Thank you for the laugh from this frazzled mum-of-only-two!

[danvillebelle]

3 hours ago, ophelia said:

Do we know any details about her book contract? I mean she is writing a book about parenting and is clearly showing abusive behaviour towards her kids on her social media channel. Wouldn't that be concerning to a publishing company?

Her publisher is Harvest House, who publish numerous evangelical authors including the likes of James Dobson.  I doubt they'd have a problem with anything she does.

[ophelia]

You're probaly right. She just enrages me so much lately that I felt like I wanted to do something.

[Zommom]

4 hours ago, ophelia said:

Do we know any details about her book contract? I mean she is writing a book about parenting and is clearly showing abusive behaviour towards her kids on her social media channel. Wouldn't that be concerning to a publishing company?

It’s probably a Christian publishing company and abuse is typically overlooked/excused/rug-swept by Christians. (As someone who is a Christian and has been abused, I know.)

[anachronistic]

In 7th grade I was terrified of going to the hair salon so solved the problem by cutting my bangs myself. Except, in classic kid fashion, I didn’t realize that hair was longer when wet and that I’d have to keep going back and forth for just a tiny bit more to make it even. Oops. I had about 1 inch of bangs, just in time for picture day.

I think the independence that Braggies kids show would be great if it was 1850, and they didn’t have a choice but to leave the older ones in charge of the younger while they farmed or worked at a factory or whatever so they didn’t starve. But it’s 2020. Her parenting methods are about 200 years out of date.
 

Apple cider vinegar is something I’ve always been told to drink daily to prevent and cure just about every ailment, but I never have because it’s nasty.  The only time that you should force your kid to eat or drink something is with medicine. I remember having a long showdown with my father over a particularly disgusting antibiotic/cough something, and just sitting in a kitchen chair for what felt like hours, until I forced it down. I wasn’t given a choice because it was absolutely necessary for my health, and I knew this, so I wasn’t angry at my dad, only the people who made the medicine taste nasty. (It’s possible that I thought they did this deliberately.) The only thing that ‘fuzz juice’ is necessary for is showing that the adult is mean and doesn’t care about the kids feelings, 

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, Xan said:

Parenting is hard.  Anybody that tells you different is lying.  And every single one of us has had awful days and periods of time where you feel like an abject failure.  Another mom once told me that the things that kept her going was 1) she loved her kids and 2) she understood that, every day, she was doing about the best she could.  

I once told my friend that dealing with the petty squabbles and daily irritations felt like being nibbled to death by squirrels.  But, dammit, they were my squirrels and I loved them.  Now they're grown and they turned out fine.  But, in the middle of all of it, it was just hard.  Trust me, you're doing fine.

Honestly it’s the pandemic that’s causing my parenting to go down the toilet. I have always known I wouldn’t be a good homeschool teacher and that’s why we live in a district with good public schools. Plus my kids just want to go play with their friends. They are bored as hell and so am I. We are all pretty unhappy with the current situation and it comes out daily.

[ophelia]

1 hour ago, Zommom said:

It’s probably a Christian publishing company and abuse is typically overlooked/excused/rug-swept by Christians. (As someone who is a Christian and has been abused, I know.)

How very Christian of them.

[Hane]

@anachronistic, once my sister and I were on a liquid antibiotic that tasted so vile our mom gave us a hard candy to suck on after each dose.

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, Hane said:

@anachronistic, once my sister and I were on a liquid antibiotic that tasted so vile our mom gave us a hard candy to suck on after each dose.

Luckily I was born in the 80s and by then, antibiotics were flavored bubblegum and filled with sugar to cover up the taste. I swear it’s still the same today. The first time my kids got that bright pink antibiotic, it brought back all the memories. 

[SassyPants]

13 hours ago, Xan said:

Parenting is hard.  Anybody that tells you different is lying.  And every single one of us has had awful days and periods of time where you feel like an abject failure.  Another mom once told me that the things that kept her going was 1) she loved her kids and 2) she understood that, every day, she was doing about the best she could.  

I once told my friend that dealing with the petty squabbles and daily irritations felt like being nibbled to death by squirrels.  But, dammit, they were my squirrels and I loved them.  Now they're grown and they turned out fine.  But, in the middle of all of it, it was just hard.  Trust me, you're doing fine.

My biggest fear during the really hard times was that they wouldn’t turn out fine. Thankfully, my fears did not come to fruition.

[Hane]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Luckily I was born in the 80s and by then, antibiotics were flavored bubblegum and filled with sugar to cover up the taste. I swear it’s still the same today. The first time my kids got that bright pink antibiotic, it brought back all the memories. 

Liquid antibiotics were flavored back in the ‘50s, too, but this particular one was so gawdawful that I wonder WTF it was made of! Its caustic bitterness shone right through the artificial fruit flavor.

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

@anachronistic, once my sister and I were on a liquid antibiotic that tasted so vile our mom gave us a hard candy to suck on after each dose.

I’m sure everyone here knows that I was a longtime, career actually, Nicu/Picu nurse. I also had a child that had chronic ear issues and was on daily antibiotics for years. When I was working, my husband would not measure the dose. He’d just pour it in the bottle until he saw what he thought was the right pinkish hue. WTF. Don’t kill the child of a mother who works with critically ill children.

[feministxtian]

11 hours ago, Nurse Nic said:

On a day when absolutely every little thing is getting on my last nerve for no good reason, this has spoken to me and I think I shall print it and stick it on my fridge... Thank you for the laugh from this frazzled mum-of-only-two!

This idea kept me sane for years...along with "you managed to make it to adulthood because I didn't want to go to prison". 

Keep laughing...motherhood is the theater of the absurd. 

[SuperNova]

Abbie is surprised that she's a busy mom of ten with two newborns. I'm not really sure how she's surprised by that but maybe it's because she's stuck at home with no one to pawn the work off to. 

She says she has no alternative except to trudge forward in abject misery, busting ass for a bunch of "ultra-needy" little ingrates who don't even have the courtesy to act like adults. It's "downright infuriating" for her. I might be paraphrasing here but that's the gist of it.

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