M is for Mama 9: Mom of Ten, Dislikes Them All

[NotQuiteMotY]

@FilleMondaine, @feministxtian, I guess that makes sense. It just seems odd to me, and I get how lists can help; I kept weekly "stuff I absolutely have to do" lists when I had a newborn and PPD as a combination of motivation and encouragement when I finally crossed them off. It's more the after nature of it that boggles me. 

Actually, the combination of the list and the keeping the babies in clothes for three days is screaming PPD to me now, between my own experience and your comments.

[theotherelise]

@NotQuiteMotY I think it's weird for you because you are motivated by different things. As soon as I write something down on a to do list, it becomes the last thing I want to do. If I write down what I've done, it shows me I am competent and I can do things and I don't need to feel paralyzed. 

If anyone is interested, Gretchen Rubin is an author and podcaster who writes about habits. She has a quiz to help you identify your tendencies and how to accomplish what you want. Here is the description:

Quote

We all face two kinds of expectations—outer expectations (meet work deadlines, answer a request from a friend) and inner expectations (keep a New Year’s resolution, start meditating). Our response to expectations determines our “Tendency”—that is, whether we fit into the category of Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.

Knowing our Tendency can help us set up situations in the ways that make it more likely that we’ll achieve our aims. We can make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet our promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others.

I'm a rebel. I am still figuring out how to find motivation. It is a regular topic in my therapy appointments! 

[SassyPants]

I only make lists for grocery shopping, packing (sometimes) and for events that are outside the norm. For example, next week we are going camping for the holiday week. I am prepping and freezing many of the meals in advance of the trip, so all I need to do is reheat. ( rented a motor home). You can best believe I have a list. Now do I make a daily list, or put flip the laundry on a list? Hell no, what a waste of time. I could flip the laundry  just as fast as I could write the words on a list.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I had no idea, until reading Braggie, that "flipping laundry" was such a big accomplishment.  In fact I had never heard the phrase.  

Well FJ-ers  -- give me a huge round of applause and pats on the head:  I washed and flipped 5 loads of laundry yesterday, all while putting in a full day at my job. Then I folded laundry after work and made dinner from scratch.

Take that Braggie! My after done list is bigger than yours!!

[tanba]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I had no idea, until reading Braggie, that "flipping laundry" was such a big accomplishment.  In fact I had never heard the phrase.  

Well FJ-ers  -- give me a huge round of applause and pats on the head:  I washed and flipped 5 loads of laundry yesterday, all while putting in a full day at my job. Then I folded laundry after work and made dinner from scratch.

Take that Braggie! My after done list is bigger than yours!!

I have a combined washer and dryer. Still counts, though, right?

[church_of_dog]

18 hours ago, theotherelise said:

@NotQuiteMotY I think it's weird for you because you are motivated by different things. As soon as I write something down on a to do list, it becomes the last thing I want to do. If I write down what I've done, it shows me I am competent and I can do things and I don't need to feel paralyzed. 

If anyone is interested, Gretchen Rubin is an author and podcaster who writes about habits. She has a quiz to help you identify your tendencies and how to accomplish what you want. Here is the description:

I'm a rebel. I am still figuring out how to find motivation. It is a regular topic in my therapy appointments! 

I've enjoyed more than one of Gretchen Rubin's books, and the idea of the four tendencies of personality with regard to habits has helped me on an ongoing basis to better understand both myself and others.

I work well from written goals.  Decades ago, I used to have a master to-do list and then manage tasks and activities on a daily basis using a planner.

Now as a mostly retired person, I don't need daily to-do lists except, as @SassyPants says, when planning a specific trip or event with too many items to track in my head.

But I do write down goals for each year, and sometimes record daily accomplishments, whether related to those goals or not.

For many people, myself included, time management is a challenging issue.  (Personally I am the Queen of Unfinished Projects and always seeking to better myself in that arena.)  I 100% see benefit in recording "stuff done" even if it doesn't match the original plans for the day.

Partly as an act of self-reassurance and comfort, that I did do a few useful things on a day when things didn't go as I had planned.

Partly as a tool to learn how my time gets spent.  Maybe I started out thinking that 100% of my waking hours were available to be scheduled and then have to realize I need to leave X time free for regular chores, meals, mental unwinding, whatever.

High-energy vs low-energy is a real thing, whether it's a variation between people or a variation day to day within each of us.  Physically and mentally.  The more we understand our own tendencies and inclinations and what works to motivate ourselves, the more we can steer our lives to be as satisfying as possible within our circumstances.

[danvillebelle]

Put me on the "stuff done" list.  I am just like someone above who said once they write something down, it's the last thing they want to do.  I have rebelled against written plans and lists all my life, I have no idea why.  I'm also a procrastinator and writing things down exacerbates it.  I love my planners but I struggled with using them until I realized that I should use them at the end of the day and not the beginning.  I also use one just for writing and art journaling.

[SuperNova]

23 hours ago, theotherelise said:

I'm a rebel. I am still figuring out how to find motivation. It is a regular topic in my therapy appointments! 

I've learned not to count on motivation. It comes and goes and just isn't reliable for me. The last therapist I worked with taught me to be more self disciplined. The To-Done list that I mentioned helps with that. Its hard to stay focused with chronic illness but the list makes it easier to stay on track. It shows me that even when I'm at my lowest there's still forward momentum, albeit at a snail's pace.

Good on you for seeing a therapist and I hope you find what works for you

[Giraffe]

4 hours ago, tanba said:

I have a combined washer and dryer. Still counts, though, right?

Wait, what?!? I’ve never heard of that! That’s awesome!  
 

(I feel super mature right now at using so many ! on a post about appliances)

 

eta: I’m completely geeking out right now. Here’s a link on how it works. https://home.howstuffworks.com/washer-dryer-combos.htm

Edited November 18, 2020 by Giraffe

[SassyPants]

21 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

Wait, what?!? I’ve never heard of that! That’s awesome!  
 

(I feel super mature right now at using so many ! on a post about appliances)

 

eta: I’m completely geeking out right now. Here’s a link on how it works. https://home.howstuffworks.com/washer-dryer-combos.htm

I have the combo too.  Needed it d/t space limitations, but I find it cumbersome because you can’t be simultaneously drying your first load while washing your second.  Have a second set downstairs, so I’m not too adversely affected.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I will say that based on house hunters and house hunters international, washer/dryer combos are way more popular outside of the US. I feel like you only see them in the US in small apartments. And even then it’s still fairly rare. 

Edited November 18, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[feministxtian]

That washer/dryer combo sounds neat...I have a full sized washer & dryer that are stacked. Not one of those pre-stacked gizmos, those suck. I have full sized Samsung washer/dryer and a stacking kit***. Thing is, the top of the dryer is just right at the limit of what I can reach. It sort of sucks. The all in one unit was just as expensive as the separate pieces and not nearly as nice. 

I never thought "flipping laundry" was such a great achievement...now, folding it and putting it all away...yup, that's an achievement. I was spoiled as hell, I hadn't done laundry in probably 20 years, as it was another Mr Xtian job b/c he didn't like the way I did laundry. 

***not my choice and not my money...#1 son is all about the Samsung and cool shit...the only input I got was what color I wanted. I picked boring ass white. Gotta love a kid who spoils the shit outta mama...unlike JRod, I'm just along for the ride. "Mom I make good money, let me spoil you for a change"...

[indianabones]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I will say that based on house hunters and house hunters international, washer/dryer combos are way more popular outside of the US. I feel like you only see them in the US in small apartments. And even then it’s still fairly rare. 

Trying to do laundry on a combo washer-dryer with the controls in a foreign language when you're down to your last pair of clean underwear is my own personal hell.

[Marly]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I have the combo too.  Needed it d/t space limitations, but I find it cumbersome because you can’t be simultaneously drying your first load while washing your second.  Have a second set downstairs, so I’m not too adversely affected.

I only have a washing machine, and one drying-rack, so I can only ever do one load of laundry every other day. (I've tried everyday, but the drying laundry needs about 1,5 day to completely dry, and now with thicker winter clothes it needs at least 2 days to completely dry.) We currently have two laundry bins to store dirty laundry in, and they are both always full and I hate it. I just can't do laundry often enough to get both of them, or even one of them, empty ?

[The butcher's wife]

17 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I had no idea, until reading Braggie, that "flipping laundry" was such a big accomplishment.  In fact I had never heard the phrase.  

I once read somewhere that tasks that take two minutes or less to accomplish should never be on your to-do-list; you should just get off your ass and do them, as writing them down and checking them off would take nearly as much time. Flipping laundry is definitely one of those.

[tanba]

12 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I have the combo too.  Needed it d/t space limitations, but I find it cumbersome because you can’t be simultaneously drying your first load while washing your second.  Have a second set downstairs, so I’m not too adversely affected.

It's just me and sometimes my bf, and my apartment does not have enough space for both a washer and drier. I end up hanging most of my clothes anyway (I'm from Germany, where many people I know just don't have a drier at all, so hangdrying is the norm), but it is really nice when I need my Karate Gi for the next day (or did my laundry too late, which admittedly is much more common). The only thing that's a little annoying is that it can't dry a full load very efficiently, so I usually end up taking half out to hang anyway.

[SorenaJ]

I'm in the UK, most people don't have a dryer, including me, so I just hang up my clothes to dry, indoors. Washing machines are nearly always in the kitchen, which is annoying, because that means no room for dishwasher. 

[Kailash]

I like lists a lot. Often I make lists so I don’t forget what I need to do. I can see Abbie having flip laundry on her list so that she remembers to actually do it. 

[smittykins]

2 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Washing machines are nearly always in the kitchen,

This reminds me of watching early-70s episodes of The Price Is Right on YouTube, where the “Every Room In The House” showcases often featured a washer and dryer for the kitchen.  Cue at least one comment on “Who TF puts a washer and dryer in the kitchen?”

My aunt and uncle did, for one.  Even today, not every house has a dedicated laundry room.

Edited November 19, 2020 by smittykins

[fundiewatch]

Sad things:

My son made a friend just before we moved across the country. His mom and I became friends on FB and she reposted an Abbie post. 
 

Main floor laundry is MY jam. Horrifically, we sold our house to be re-flipped (we just bought it two years ago, post-flip, but the flip wasn’t fancy enough apparently), and they plan to move the laundry back to the basement. WTH. Big house. Four large bedrooms on the second floor and... you want the laundry back in the basement? The flippers must not be mothers. Legit makes no sense. It makes me feel good, though, that no one will ever get my main floor laundry. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Both of the very old houses I grew up in had basement laundry but my parents moved it up to the first floor. I love first floor laundry and it is annoying that ours is in the basement. But there isn’t any place for it on our first floor. So it’s staying in the basement. 

[LorEl]

My guess is that most people have basement laundry because of a possible water damage. I don't know anybody that has a house and no basement laundry. 

[katilac]

 

12 hours ago, The butcher's wife said:

I once read somewhere that tasks that take two minutes or less to accomplish should never be on your to-do-list; you should just get off your ass and do them, as writing them down and checking them off would take nearly as much time. Flipping laundry is definitely one of those.

But the washer may not be done when you think about it; that's why this is a popular meme: 

 

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

3 hours ago, LorEl said:

My guess is that most people have basement laundry because of a possible water damage. I don't know anybody that has a house and no basement laundry. 

My laundry room is on the second floor with the bedrooms. This is the second house for me with this arrangement. I love it. 

[JordynDarby5]

2 hours ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

My laundry room is on the second floor with the bedrooms. This is the second house for me with this arrangement. I love it. 

The condo I used to have had the washer and dryer on the second floor. I loved it too. It was so convenient.

Edited November 20, 2020 by JordynDarby5