Joy and Austin 26: Please Wear the Appropriate Footgear Around Horses

[fluffernutter]

9 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

I live in Europe and I know it as well. I have also seen it coming up in conversations where multiple people knew which personality they were, so definitely not only American.

I am INFP, fiance is ISTP. According to this graph we should not work together.

 

Interesting! My husband and I are "It's got a good chance" and we've been together for 30 years, married for 25. 

[Cheetah]

Ours says 'one-sided' but I'm not quite sure from that which side it's meant to work out better for.  We've been married for almost 25 years so I guess I shouldn't put too much stock in that chart ...

[CarrotCake]

7 minutes ago, Cheetah said:

Ours says 'one-sided' but I'm not quite sure from that which side it's meant to work out better for.  We've been married for almost 25 years so I guess I shouldn't put too much stock in that chart ...

I also don't take it too serious.

It looks like every couple that has opposite personalities would not work, while I actually like it that we are so different.

[Kelsey]

INTJ and Gryffindor. I was surprised about that because I would not consider myself brave though I am loyal.

[Ivycoveredtower]

so Joy and Austin were in fact at Big sandy

[medimus]

8 hours ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

 

@medimus The abortion issue reaches even further in terms of information. I am a total worrier and like to be prepared. All the other ladies in my group were have the standard tests for the risk of Down's Syndrome and other genetic issues (not older risk categories, women in their 20's and 30's) in the rest of the UK. I was not given these tests and when I finally asked when it would be done (because again, I wanted to make sure I was as prepared as possible for anything that could known in advance, this was a planned for and wanted baby). The nurse told me: "We don't do that in this country. Why would we? It's not like you can abort it." I was floored. I really wanted to scream. Why would anyone assume another person would abort just because of that? If they did, that is still their choice to do so, at a younger age and a less stable life, I can absolutely understand it as an option. On top of that it wasn't even true. I could have flown to another UK country (or now gone to the Republic I think) and had one. They view it as a way to "stop abortion" or paid for a private test, got the information, and done it, though those tests are very expensive. I simply wanted to be able to prepare myself and not be in for a shock of such life changing news at such a vulnerable moment if I COULD know in advance and prepare. Assuming I would not want my baby anymore because they would in some way be different really rubbed me the wrong way.

Oh, I didn't realise they did that in Northern Ireland too. I know the 20 week anatomy scan is not standard in the Republic, though it is (slowly) becoming standard. I hate that for the same reason as you. Knowing info in advance can be very helpful, for coming to terms with what that might mean, but also medically. 

The WHO gold standard for ante-natal care is three ultrasounds, around 12 weeks for dating and to check for multiples (plus as part of a triple test to screen for a few chromosomal disorders, though this might be less and less necessary with the availability of the NIPT), around 20 weeks for anatomy and any visible abnormalities and a third trimester scan for growth/any growth problems. With variations for those who have had IVF (who generally get an early scan), multiples (who get more) and of course if there are any problems.

It does depend on country though what you actually get. 

[Perrierwithlemon]

On 5/5/2019 at 9:15 AM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If someone starts one I'll be weird there.  I find that stuff interesting.

Yes!! Let's start one!

[feministxtian]

I had zero scans with my first, 1982, medicaid. They only did them if the size/dates didn't match or there was a possibility of multiples. I had one scan with my second, 1987, military dependent. I think it was a 20 week anatomy scan. I wasn't allowed to see the screen, nor was I told if the baby was boy or girl. #3 in 1990, I had a dating scan, an anatomy scan (where he happily showed the world he was decidedly a boy), and a quick look the day I went into labor to make sure he was over 5lbs, since he was trying to show up early (about 3-4 weeks). If he was under that, the doc was going to try to stop my labor and/or advise the NICU where I was to deliver. If he was over that, I'd be allowed to continue laboring. He was decidedly over 5lbs and fucking hyperactive as fuck. He showed up that evening, all 7lbs 4oz of him. 

[JDuggs]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Man, when I had my kids my insurance didn't pay for ANY u/s unless something warranted it, My 2nd baby I went back to my preferred OB who was in his own practice so I didn't get an u/s until 32 weeks when I started bleeding, this was 21 & 19 years ago so I'm guessing standards have changed, or at least I hope they have, but knowing the state of insurance in the US, if you have shitty insurance, like we've always had you don't get the greatest care because you can't afford it. 

I had a similar experience to you around the same time period. When my son was born in 1995, I had “good” insurance. I didn’t have an ultrasound because it wasn’t deemed medically necessary. I could only stay in the hospital for 24 hours because everything was normal. This was all dictated by the insurance companies. By the time I had my next child in 1997, I did get one ultrasound and two nights in the hospital. I know the two nights was due to a state law requiring that as a minimum.

[Satan'sFortress]

1st baby in 1998.  I only had a scan at 41 weeks, because, well, I was at 41 weeks! *  I don't really remember why we didn't have any done before that.  2nd baby 4 years later, we did one scan at some point midway through.  Interesting to me that there are walk-in ultrasound places now & moms seem to get more routine scans.  Maybe I just had shitty insurance, or maybe that it was more typical back then . . .

 

*Interestingly, the scan tech. told me that the baby was huge, at least 9-1/2 lbs.  I was induced that night & had a very long, tough labor.  baby was 7 lb 10 oz.  ? Maybe it isn't so accurate that late in the game!

[twoandthrough]

With my first, I had several extra ultrasounds because I had kidney stones many times during that pregnancy (and not since - knock on wood!)... so they would always check on baby first thing when I got to the hospital, but then they'd also want to look when I was admitted since it was a military hospital, and all the other in-patients were much, much older... so all the doctors, nurses, and techs would get excited to see baby on ultrasound, and who was I to stop them? It was so neat seeing her fairly frequently compared to other friends.

HOWEVER, I had NO IDEA what a LOT of ultrasounds were like until my second pregnancy. We discovered at 19 weeks (anatomy scan) that she had a single umbilical artery, which is apparently a big deal and can lead to heart and/or kidney problems and also stillbirth if you deliver too late (since there's only one vein instead of two on the umbilical cord). So we knew right then that I'd be induced at 39 weeks no matter what... so I had biweekly ultrasounds until 30 weeks, and then I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. Ugh. But that means ultrasounds TWICE a WEEK... it was insane. I loved seeing her, but driving the 30 minutes twice a week with a wild 2 year old was not my favorite, especially since my husband could rarely come along (military schedule). I would strap her into the stroller, load her up with snacks and her tablet, and have my appointments twice a week. Sometimes they led to non-stress tests and once a trip to L&D because my blood pressure had spiked... but we were able to keep baby in until 37 weeks when I was induced. 

I don't even know what it would be like to have only one or two ultrasounds during a pregnancy. ? But I know that's normal here. I am just so thankful for Tricare (military insurance) because they covered EVERYTHING. 

[SassyPants]

43 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I had zero scans with my first, 1982, medicaid. They only did them if the size/dates didn't match or there was a possibility of multiples. I had one scan with my second, 1987, military dependent. I think it was a 20 week anatomy scan. I wasn't allowed to see the screen, nor was I told if the baby was boy or girl. #3 in 1990, I had a dating scan, an anatomy scan (where he happily showed the world he was decidedly a boy), and a quick look the day I went into labor to make sure he was over 5lbs, since he was trying to show up early (about 3-4 weeks). If he was under that, the doc was going to try to stop my labor and/or advise the NICU where I was to deliver. If he was over that, I'd be allowed to continue laboring. He was decidedly over 5lbs and fucking hyperactive as fuck. He showed up that evening, all 7lbs 4oz of him. 

My kids were born in 87 and 90 and the only scans I had were fluid checks when I was post dates. Neither child revealed their sex. 1 was a girl, the other a boy.

[justoneoftwo]

I had 2 with my first 3 years ago.  With my new 13 day old I had a total of 9.  Just different situations, same Dr.  My first was just very "normal" could have delivered in the fields kind of thing, second was conceived with fertility drugs, so might have been multiples (and I'm not counting the ovum us), then wouldn't move do they could see his spine, so we had to have 2 anatomy scans, then was breach, confirmed by scan, then tried a version, including another scan, then one to confirm he hasn't moved to schedule the c section, then another when my water broke to confirm again he hasn't moved before the emergency c section.

I guess my point is that there is a large range of normal, even with the same hospital, Dr, and healthy babies.

[adidas]

5 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

I live in Europe and I know it as well. I have also seen it coming up in conversations where multiple people knew which personality they were, so definitely not only American.

I am INFP, fiance is ISTP. According to this graph we should not work together.

 

Australian here - and Myer Briggs is very well known. Definitely not just an American thing. 

[mollysmom]

Can someone post a link for the Myer Briggs test? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, mollysmom said:

Can someone post a link for the Myer Briggs test? 

Here’s one https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

we talked about making a thread for this - of someone is at a computer and can do it easily could you post the link here?  Otherwise I’ll male one when I get home tonight.

(don’t nake me start new threads on my phone!)

[mollysmom]

That was really interesting! It said I'm a "Defender personality" ISFJ-A/ISFJ-T. For the most part, the stuff they said described me pretty well. That was neat! Thanks for the link Buffy! 

[Ivycoveredtower]

30 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Here’s one https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

we talked about making a thread for this - of someone is at a computer and can do it easily could you post the link here?  Otherwise I’ll male one when I get home tonight.

(don’t nake me start new threads on my phone!)

guess I'm an INFP-T

[feministxtian]

INFP-A/INFP-T here. Pretty accurate and has been the same for years. 

[BrandoBarks]

I heard about the MB test thanks to you guys and it turns out I’m ENFJ-A / ENFJ-T. Some questions were hard and depend on the single situations... 

On the Harry Potter sorting game I was put into Hufflepuff. 

 

[Smee]

16 hours ago, oldfashionedgal said:

Where I am the standard scans are the NT scan at 12 weeks abc and anatomy scan at 20 weeks. Most women also get a dating scan somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks, but that not quite standard.

Same for me, although the 12 week NT scan was optional (but covered by Medicare for those who want it). I got it anyway, as did most women I know.

The idea of refusing women scans and diagnostic testing BECAUSE abortion is not an option, seems extra horrifying to me. My best friend’s son had an abnormality that was picked up at his anatomy scan. They were told he had a 50/50 chance of survival and would need surgery as soon as he could be stabilised after birth. That baby would not have survived without everyone being prepared for the birth and a team of specialists on hand ready for the moment he was out. A misguided “we’re not going to look for problems because if there are any, they’ll have an abortion” approach would have killed their baby in the long run.

Another friend had a baby with trisomy 13 who passed at 28 weeks. She was religious and had chosen not to terminate after learning at the 12 week scan, but the earlier screening meant she knew the baby would be stillborn and the manner in which she announced her pregnancy to family and friends changed. More prayer requests, less baby shower wish list. If I knew I was going to lose my baby, I wouldn’t be posting “I’m pregnant! Due August” to my Facebook page for all my old high school friends and former colleagues to see either.

[SorenaJ]

Re the Harry Potter sorting test. You don't have to follow the test. If you know in your heart you are a certain house, then that's your house. If the test says x, but you are y, then that's fine. Don't necessarily let those 7 questions determine what you are. Look at the house descriptions and see what traits you value, and feel like you are. When I did the test 10 times, I got all four different houses, with 6 of them being Ravenclaw. Had I chosen to go by any of the four other results, I would have been in the wrong house. 

Please feel what your house is, don't necessarily let 7 questions determine it. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

9 hours ago, feministxtian said:

INFP-A/INFP-T here. Pretty accurate and has been the same for years. 

I just did the test again, (did it years and years ago but couldn't remember what I was). I'm INFP-T here as well, and reading up on it again it is so spot on.  

[VelociRapture]

22 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

yep, here in England I paid for a scan at 9 weeks. My booking-in appointment with the community midwives wasn't til 11 weeks (even though I'd called them up with the pee barely dry on the stick), but I'd had previous miscarriages and was just climbing the walls for reassurance I wasn't imagining it, there was a baby in there and it was OK. I just dreaded going to the official 12-week NHS scan and there being no heartbeat.

That little shrimp is now 10 weeks old and firmly attached to my boob as I type, so it worked out OK, but I loved my scans and at the beginning of pregnancy when everything feels so surreal and uncertain they are quite special. I'd have had one every week if I could afford it. OTOH, I don't think I'd ever have a later 3D scan, it always looks like the baby's made of porridge.

Everyone is different and I feel weird saying this, but I’m honestly not enjoying having so many ultrasounds so far. Today will be my fourth and I’m only 12 weeks. If I go full term this time then I’ll be having at least 15 more ultrasounds after this one, most of them to measure my cervical length with the bonus being that I get to see baby. I like seeing the baby and it’ll be cool to see how they change on a weekly basis between weeks 16 and 30 (I think it’s week 30), but I feel anxious the day before each ultrasound because part of me is convinced something will be wrong. I had trouble getting to sleep last night even though I did meditation and deep breathing because my brain just wouldn’t shut off. Plus, having a ton of ultrasounds is just a reminder for me that my pregnancies haven’t been typical and normal. 

I do definitely see why more ultrasounds would help other women though. If I could I’d send all those extra scans I need to someone else who genuinely wants them - that way we’d both have peace of mind. ?

[JesSky03]

34 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Everyone is different and I feel weird saying this, but I’m honestly not enjoying having so many ultrasounds so far. Today will be my fourth and I’m only 12 weeks. If I go full term this time then I’ll be having at least 15 more ultrasounds after this one, most of them to measure my cervical length with the bonus being that I get to see baby. I like seeing the baby and it’ll be cool to see how they change on a weekly basis between weeks 16 and 30 (I think it’s week 30), but I feel anxious the day before each ultrasound because part of me is convinced something will be wrong. I had trouble getting to sleep last night even though I did meditation and deep breathing because my brain just wouldn’t shut off. Plus, having a ton of ultrasounds is just a reminder for me that my pregnancies haven’t been typical and normal. 

I do definitely see why more ultrasounds would help other women though. If I could I’d send all those extra scans I need to someone else who genuinely wants them - that way we’d both have peace of mind. ?

I feel the same way, at least early on. Ultrasounds in the first trimester give me so much anxiety. I had three with my son- the first was to make sure babe had implanted correctly, the second was because I had a couple SCH's and a massive cyst on my ovary,  and the third was to follow up but was also for the nuchal scan. I could have had another ultrasound between the 2nd and 3rd but I declined. While they offered some reassurance, they would also just ramp up my anxiety and I coped better on my own in between them. I enjoyed the extras I got after 26 weeks though- at that point everything had pointed towards a healthy baby so I was actually able to enjoy the ultrasounds (scans at this point were just to monitor growth). Thankfully they were just every 4 weeks so it wasn't a crazy amount.