Lori Alexander 59: The Oracle of California

[Alisamer]

1 minute ago, SilverBeach said:

I never said that. Read my comment again.  I'm not crazy, of course I know that aging is a thing. It affects more than just looks. I just don't think that women embracing the inevitability of looks going "downhill" is useful for women who are already judged so heavily on appearance.

Yeah, I think it's the "downhill" thing - looks can change, and that doesn't mean necessarily for the worst. It's pretty unfair that men often just keep getting considered better and better looking as they age, while once a woman no longer passes for 20 she's "going downhill".  There's beauty at every age. Lori somehow managed to lose every shred of it in the last 2 years, apparently.

5 minutes ago, EowynW said:

My sister had intestinal parasites when we were kids. I remember she had to take a pill every day for a month. lol parasites DO happen and aren't all that uncommon, but I find it interesting that lori never discloses exactly what she had. 

I think her parasite was called "chronic lazyassness golddiggerii" exacerbated by her narcissism and use of woo.

[SilverBeach]

4 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

Yep. Me too. I’m 54 now.  I always say if I die on a Thursday,  I’m coloring my hair Hair in Wednesday !

I agree! Going to the salon for color in an hour. I have protein deep conditioning every now and then, it makes a world of difference. My sister went grey and embraced it, as did my mother who eventually had long white hair that was beautiful (although she did use Silk n' Silver when she was younger). Grey does nothing for me and I just don't like it. Viva la' difference and to each her own!

[feministxtian]

27 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I don't know if you have heard the phrase "black don't crack". I would post a picture but don't want to doxx myself.

I've heard that from numerous friends of mine. By the time a black lady has gray hair, well...she's approaching OLD! My bf Maryellen is probably close to 60 now. Girl looks like she's maybe 35. 

So, no, black don't crack. But, in my opinion, there's nothing more beautiful than an older black lady. They have a grace and attitude that I think everyone should strive to achieve. That's just me though, having been blessed to have a veritable United Nations of friends. 

***not tryin' to say "but I have a black friend" here...hope I'm understood. 

[ladyicantxplain]

34 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Fuck Ken. Alexander. These controlling patriarchal assholes make me sick. How can woman married to these jerks stand it? I suspect there is a little dom/sub going on with Ken and Lori.

Yeah, the hair dye commentary stood out to me, too, in the video.  But that might be because there was SO MUCH endless discussion over the years about the hair dye and the length in the ALCR. 

I am disgusted by the controlling patriarchal asshats as well.  It is highly likely that there is a little dom/sub going on with Ken and Lori, as evidenced by all the CDD references throughout the past years, and the SSM debacle.

I quit dying my hair because my husband asked me to do so.  It was longer at the time, so the grow-out of the color was truly awful.  I kept cutting it shorter and shorter (at that point in my fundie-ness I was afraid to cut my hair because of intimidation by my husband...sickening, I know.)  

Finally it was all one color and about chin length, and I just let it grow after that for him.  It got to my ass and was healthy while I was pregnant, but once the post-partum hair thinning began, I looked like an old witch. Literally.  It was a stringy mess.  Cut if off shoulder length, and with the silver streaks it is pleasing to me.  TO ME.  I am happy with it, and this is good!  

Sometimes I think these men are like Nigel, in the children's movie, "Rio" when he sings, "I'll make you ugly TOO..."  Their only goal is to make their wives as ugly on the outside as they are on the inside towards all women.

[Petronella]

1 minute ago, SilverBeach said:

I guess it's what you consider "downhill". No, an elderly person isn't going to look like a 25 year old but that is not my standard. There is beauty and attractiveness in every age bracket. I don't look like I did at 25 but yes I am still attractive even in a sexual way.

 

I never said that. Read my comment again.  I'm not crazy, of course I know that aging is a thing. It affects more than just looks. I just don't think that women embracing the inevitability of looks going "downhill" is useful for women who are already judged so heavily on appearance.

I was responding to me saying "it's normal" and you saying "nah." If I misread what you were saying "nah" to then my mistake. But you still sound like you're saying "no, it is not normal."

I think we may mean similar things, but be using semantics differently. You seem to be defining "looks" to fully embrace a wide range of beauty that includes the changes of age, to hold onto that feeling of fullness and sexiness that one certainly hopes will extend through the whole of life.

I'm using "looks" in the narrower way, unlined, dewy skin and effortless agility and all that common age-twenty stuff (though I realise that not everyone had those with their youths), and embracing with relief that I am still sexy and adored and leading a full life *even though* I'm not youthfully pretty anymore. I'm saying it's normal to not look like a twenty-year-old at 49 (or whatever age spread you like, that happens to be mine), and that's okay and no problem at all.

So perhaps in that sense we agree: are women over 50 still attractive? Yes!

Do women over 50 still look like they did when their bodies hadn't been through so much *life*? Nope. Is that okay and can it still be lovely? Yes! But it's not the same kind of beauty.

I think that's what you mean too, but you're saying that that different beauty is still just as gorgeous to you. I'm saying to me it's not usually as gorgeous, but I don't find physical gorgeousness to be a top priority.

That's what I mean by normal. It's okay to age. No one should be ashamed of their looks changing as they live life, face challenges, and grow older. (I did not realise this was going to be a controversial statement.)

[ViolaSebastian]

Who are these women who don’t know SAHMs exist???

 

[Petronella]

3 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Who are these women who don’t know SAHMs exist???

 

Yeah, that assertion is just bonkers.

I think it's probably because even women who intend to stay at home when they have children will do something with their lives (studying and/or working) before they get married. Because, after all, what's the alternative? It may be years before you meet Mr Right. It may be years after that before children come, if they do at all. (And there's no guarantee that their eventual financial situation will allow one parent staying home, though one can certainly make that a priority when making choices on the way.)

Lori advocates something much stranger, women *never* studying, *never* working for money, which has not to do with what children may benefit from, and has all to do with limitations and control.

 

[polecat]

On 12/19/2018 at 8:08 PM, ViolaSebastian said:

What. the. Fuck. Guys, I don't even know where to begin with this.

 

My first thought: At least now we know why she hates women with big breasts so much. 

My second thought: "How embarrassing would it be to die while getting a facelift?" LORI. Jesus, it's like your stupidity bubbles out in every single possible context. STOP IT. 

My final thought: Yes, beauty is temporary. Who you ARE is what people really remember. Lori needs to stop obsessing over her looks and spend a little more time worrying about her (ugly) heart. Then again, I'm an ugly, aging woman, so my opinion probably doesn't count for much. 

 

 

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

We  have a family friend who is in her 60s. She honestly looks like she's in her 30s.  She's married to an amazing guy who I consider like a second father figure to me. She just has that simple natural beauty. Rarely wears makeup, colors her hair every once in a while, and has the smoothest, flawless skin I've ever seen. Our friend is also one of the kindest souls you will ever meet. I recall one time,  while fighting bronchitis, I had texted her asking for some dinner ideas and unfortunately my car was at the shop (battery had died), had limited transportation. Y'all know what that friend did? About an hr later, I get a knock on my door. She had gone to the store, bought me some groceries, picked up my medicine ( I hadn't even asked her for any favors, just mentioned I was going to try go run my errands while being sick) and dropped of some homemade hot soup. (seriously it was amazing).

She's a "grammie" figure to munchkin and I can't imagine my family's life without her in it.

Lori, would you ever do this for someone? Drop everything and run to the aid of someone else? Or would you simply just tell them to "pray" and then chew them out (esp if they are female) for having to miss work because they were sick?

Oh and Lori, being a working woman is NOTHING to be ashamed of. I am FAR from lazy, I work my bottom off, and honestly I love being able to work. There are many women in different countries etc who are NOT allowed to work and they WANT to! So get off your high horse. While you're at it, make sure you don't fall off it. Sorry all, I'm feeling savage today.

[Free Jana Duggar]

24 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Who are these women who don’t know SAHMs exist???

 

I used to get annoyed as a pastor's wife when some of the women in the church would ask if I homeschooled, then look at me like I was Satan himself when I told them no.

They would hold events during the day when I couldn't attend.  

So mom shaming can go both ways.  It really burns my butt. 

[Beermeet]

@SilverBeach  Yes, I'm aware of that saying " black don't crack".  Us southern Italians get to enjoy that too!  Thanks Moors!  Lol.  Plus, we get called greasy Italians. Sure, whatever.  We don't wrinkle easy and we don't require heavy moisturizer. Our skin can get dry fast and ashy legs happen in winter though.  Cocoa butter is a go to.  My grandmother is in her 90's and only has some crows feet like the rest of my older relatives. My husbands family is French, German, Dutch, English, Scot and I look younger at 45 than the 30 yr olds. So, yeah, greasy Italian and proud! 

What I'm doing with my grey:

I so happen to have a stripe of soft grey hair I've decided to keep and grow out. I just dye the random greys around it. It's fabulous!  I tried to take a pic but not coming out well. I love my stripe! 

[polecat]

2 hours ago, EowynW said:

2 years between videos.  Yes, I only posted to show the drastic change. 

I'm struggling to believe she's not ill. Or maybe it's just her disordered eating catching up to her. Chronic nutritional deficits can cause a lot of physical changes, like dry hair, thinning/lifeless skin, dull eyes, etc.

She looks the same age as my nearing-triple-digits grandmother, who isn't just old but also has cancer. 

[Petronella]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

My second thought: "How embarrassing would it be to die while getting a facelift?" LORI. Jesus, it's like your stupidity bubbles out in every single possible context. STOP IT. 

A couple of people have mentioned this one, but it actually makes sense to me.  I have occasionally, briefly considered getting plastic surgery, and the main of many things stopping me has always been that surgery is always risky, anesthesia is always risky, and while it would be worth the risk for a health procedure it would not be worth it for a looks procedure. And, yes, I would feel I had made a poor decision if I ended up dying for a facelift.

How have others been taking that statement? I don't see what's stupid about it. (Except perhaps for "how would you feel stupid? you'd be dead" but I took that as light, silly hyperbole, or perhaps a looking-down-from-heaven sort of thing.)

1 hour ago, polecat said:

Then again, I'm an ugly, aging woman, so my opinion probably doesn't count for much. 

Is that directed at me? I didn't mean to insult anyone. I myself am aging. I meant no insult to anyone.

[Beermeet]

7 minutes ago, polecat said:

I'm struggling to believe she's not ill. Or maybe it's just her disordered eating catching up to her. Chronic nutritional deficits can cause a lot of physical changes, like dry hair, thinning/lifeless skin, dull eyes, etc.

She looks the same age as my nearing-triple-digits grandmother, who isn't just old but also has cancer. 

Hate and lies can lead to outside ugliness and aging. Be warned ladies!  ??

[Hisey]

8 hours ago, Petronella said:

but it always kind of weirds me out when comments are reflexively in attack mode no matter what is actually said.

I haven't seen the video, but I agree with this statement. I think our criticisms have more impact if we can recognize and accept that Lori has some parts of her that are NOT hateful. She's not 100% evil. I can't jump on everything she does.

With that said, I hate her views more than I hate most fundie views. Her views on divorce would have led to the death of my mother by DV (my mom never read Lori, but had internalized similar views, unfortunately). Her views on submission are essentially a way to make DV victims hate themselves more. 

But I still don't think Lori's 100% evil, no one is.

 

[feministxtian]

17 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

Us southern Italians get to enjoy that too!  Thanks Moors!  Lol.  Plus, we get called greasy Italians. Sure, whatever.  We don't wrinkle easy and we don't require heavy moisturizer. Our skin can get dry fast and ashy legs happen in winter though.

The mother's family was from Barcelona. My dad's family was from Bavaria. All of them were more olive skinned and goddammit, they don't age!!! Until my dad got REALLY sick, he looked at least 15 years younger than his real age. The mother, well, being ate up with hate and bitterness ages a person, My aunt (mother's sister) didn't "fall apart" until 90-ish. 

My husband is part Native American, and at 56, and with his health issues, I swear hasn't hardly aged a day in 20 years. He has that beautiful golden brown skin, not a single wrinkle, he's just gorgeous. Me? I'm starting to look older (as in I no longer look like I'm in my 20's)...but hey, I'm 54 and have earned every gray hair and crinkle. My beautiful daughter at 36 still gets carded. 

[Hane]

22 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

@SilverBeach  Yes, I'm aware of that saying " black don't crack".  Us southern Italians get to enjoy that too!  Thanks Moors!  Lol.  Plus, we get called greasy Italians. Sure, whatever.  We don't wrinkle easy and we don't require heavy moisturizer. Our skin can get dry fast and ashy legs happen in winter though.  Cocoa butter is a go to.  My grandmother is in her 90's and only has some crows feet like the rest of my older relatives. My husbands family is French, German, Dutch, English, Scot and I look younger at 45 than the 30 yr olds. So, yeah, greasy Italian and proud! 

What I'm doing with my grey:

I so happen to have a stripe of soft grey hair I've decided to keep and grow out. I just dye the random greys around it. It's fabulous!  I tried to take a pic but not coming out well. I love my stripe! 

Yes to the southern Italian advantage! My 83-year-old great aunt was mistaken for 65 by nurses in the ER. My skin is holding up nicely—I’ve never been a sun worshiper and I do like nice face and body moisturizers. And my excess adipose helps plump out any wrinkles.

One thing, though, about the thinning and scraggly hair: Many of us can’t control this. I’ve always had thin, baby-fine hair, and it’s gotten thinner as I age. I color it in large part because it expands the cuticle and makes the shafts a bit thicker, and have splurged on custom-formulated shampoo and conditioner. I also take Centrum Silver, which a hairdresser recommended to my mom for her thinning hair. 

But then, I’ve covered my gray by dyeing it teal to match my glasses frames and to celebrate my retirement, so I’d probably give Lori a stroke.

[mango_fandango]

This quote from Roald Dahl’s “The Twits” is so relevant:

I remember someone once commenting on an old Lori video (that’d been posted on here) that Lori’s mouth looked like a butthole. So, so apt.

[Beermeet]

17 minutes ago, Hane said:

Yes to the southern Italian advantage! My 83-year-old great aunt was mistaken for 65 by nurses in the ER. My skin is holding up nicely—I’ve never been a sun worshiper and I do like nice face and body moisturizers. And my excess adipose helps plump out any wrinkles.

One thing, though, about the thinning and scraggly hair: Many of us can’t control this. I’ve always had thin, baby-fine hair, and it’s gotten thinner as I age. I color it in large part because it expands the cuticle and makes the shafts a bit thicker, and have splurged on custom-formulated shampoo and conditioner. I also take Centrum Silver, which a hairdresser recommended to my mom for her thinning hair. 

But then, I’ve covered my gray by dyeing it teal to match my glasses frames and to celebrate my retirement, so I’d probably give Lori a stroke.

My long term goal for my stripe is to dye it iridescent purple.  It looks more like lavender.  I saw it on a girl I had an art class with 18 years ago and dammit, I will have that color!  I just didn't want to strip my brown hair with bleach ( even a strip of it, the upkeep,  ugh!) But, now, I don't have to!  I just need it to grow out more. Plus, I think the silver grey will work well with that color. Cheers!

[Lgirlrocks]

My mom was a stay at home mom who worked part time, usually on the weekends. She worked when my dad was home to watch us or she would pay a kid from church who needed the money. She wanted all of her kids to get at least an associates degree. She didn’t have one and had a hard time finding a full time job when my dad got sick because of it. Getting an education is important. Learning is important. You may not use all of what you learned but having a degree or a skill is never a waste and can always be used in the future.

[wallysmommy]

Coloring our hair is a family tradition.  My grandmother went to the beauty parlor around the corner from her house every week for a root touch up and her helmet.  My mom colored hers, and had it redone the day before she passed away in her sleep, so she went to heaven as a redhead.  

You are all right -- beauty is from within.  Although my heritage is French/German/English/Irish/Scottish, we have nice round faces, and the high humidity also helps.

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, wallysmommy said:

Coloring our hair is a family tradition.  My grandmother went to the beauty parlor around the corner from her house every week for a root touch up and her helmet.  My mom colored hers, and had it redone the day before she passed away in her sleep, so she went to heaven as a redhead.  

You are all right -- beauty is from within.  Although my heritage is French/German/English/Irish/Scottish, we have nice round faces, and the high humidity also helps.

I have a round Irish baby face. I'm 5'7" and wear a size 6-8 and can look positively obese when only photographed from the neck up.

But, of course, thin women age badly as we've been informed here. 

I don't know that I'll ever stop coloring my hair. It started out light brown and the gray that emerged in my late 20s gives it a lovely hue that I call "dead mouse brown" or lately, "drowned rat in dishwater". That is not aging gracefully. 

[Katzchen24]

5 hours ago, Alisamer said:

 I'd love for my hair to go totally white eventually. Maybe I could dye it fun colors without having to bleach it first!

After years of colouring my hair, I finally let it go through to it's natural colour. It was a mix of mouse brown with lots of grey. Then I got bored and it's now blue, purple and green and the brown isn't noticeable. Do the fun colours - it's so good to get up in the morning and have happy hair!!

[Hisey]

I think it's interesting to look at Lori's two younger sisters. They seem to be a year or two younger than her, in their late 50s. But they are very attractive, youthful-looking, striking women. Lori looks a mess next to them (sorry, she does!) 

I know a woman who died getting a facelift. It's not something I'd ever consider. "Take me as I am" is my motto. Or don't. I don't care.

[SuperNova]

I'm starting to get bright white hairs which are very obvious in my long, nearly black hair but I don't care. I don't want the hassle and upkeep of coloring my hair. As Mr. Nova says, I'd only be delaying the inevitable.

Ever since I was little girl I had this strange notion that I would die young, I was convinced I wouldn't live to see 40 (I'm 6 months away) and engaged in quite a bit of high-risk behavior in my early teens. Most of my "friends" from that time have died of one thing or another. Out of about 15 kids, there are only 3 or 4 of us left. Grey hairs feel like I've made it somehow.