Lori Alexander 59: The Oracle of California

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, Katzchen24 said:

After years of colouring my hair, I finally let it go through to it's natural colour. It was a mix of mouse brown with lots of grey. Then I got bored and it's now blue, purple and green and the brown isn't noticeable. Do the fun colours - it's so good to get up in the morning and have happy hair!!

Mine is headed that way. The grey is still pretty sparse, but it's much more noticeable now than it was just a year or two ago. The grey I don't mind; the mouse brown is just so... bleh. So I use a cheap, drugstore brand semi-permanent color (well, maybe not even semi-permanent, I'm not sure where it falls on the hair color spectrum), one very close to what my natural color would be if it had some life to it, light brown with a tinge of red. The color kind of fades out after a few weeks without leaving mousey roots behind. Very low maintenance, really. I can't be bothered with doing more than that. LOL.

[polecat]

4 hours ago, Petronella said:

How have others been taking that statement? I don't see what's stupid about it. (Except perhaps for "how would you feel stupid? you'd be dead" but I took that as light, silly hyperbole, or perhaps a looking-down-from-heaven sort of thing.)

Well, she'd be dead ... so ... I doubt she'd be embarrassed. Just an fyi -- plastic surgery is reconstructive while cosmetic surgery is aesthetic. If people need plastic surgery, I sincerely hope they're able to get it without shame or embarrassment. Cosmetic surgery, well, that's between you (general) and your surgeon. 

5 hours ago, Petronella said:

s that directed at me? I didn't mean to insult anyone. I myself am aging. I meant no insult to anyone.

What? No. I was literally talking about me being an ugly, aging woman ... which I am. I don't know what anyone else here looks like, nor would I ever call anyone ugly. Well, other than me, but I really, truly am, lol. I'm sorry if you felt that was directed at you. It definitely wasn't meant to be.

[Petronella]

6 minutes ago, polecat said:

What? No. I was literally talking about me being an ugly, aging woman ... which I am. I don't know what anyone else here looks like, nor would I ever call anyone ugly. Well, other than me, but I really, truly am, lol. I'm sorry if you felt that was directed at you. It definitely wasn't meant to be.

Haha, no, sorry, oversensitive from a previous poster. I too am aging and not much to look at, but I very much doubt that you’re ugly. Kindness and intelligence have a way of shining.

I still don’t get what some posters are reading into Lori saying that a facelift isn’t worth the risk of dying. Seems a pretty reasonable position.

[feministxtian]

19 minutes ago, polecat said:

What? No. I was literally talking about me being an ugly, aging woman ... which I am. I don't know what anyone else here looks like, nor would I ever call anyone ugly. Well, other than me, but I really, truly am, lol. I'm sorry if you felt that was directed at you. It definitely wasn't meant to be.

polecat...repeat after me...I'M NOT UGLY!!! Say it again: I'M NOT UGLY!!!

People who focus on outward "beauty" rarely focus on the inside. I've read your posts and you DO NOT have an ugly inside. 

Aging, getting older is tough on all of us who would rather see our 20 year old faces and hair (and bodies) in the mirror. 

[Sarah92]

Lori says she doesn't hate working women but at the same time believes they won't reap benefits of idk what. She doesn't say what benefits and most of the working moms in my family ( pretty much all the women in my fam) have many wonderful "blessings" close relationship with kids, good marriages, lovely homes, good friends, places to volunteer and help people, participation in church and strong faiths... what blessings they're missing? Statistically at least one women in my family should have their life falling apart according to Lori and they don't. I mean we aren't without struggles (my brother being an idiot, sickness, money problems) but we have close relationship and love each other.  

[wallysmommy]

This is my response to Lori's theory that working women aren't blessed.  I put this on my FB page with a snippet of her opinion.

 

I consider myself extremely blessed. I was BLESSED with a job, an education, health, and faith in the Almighty, a wonderful family and friends. My parents were blessed to be able to provide for us. This is false teaching that if a woman works she is not blessed or blessings are diminished. God works differently in each of our lives. Jesus came to save us, not to condemn us or play a game of quid pro quo — be a SAHM and I’ll bless you. As you celebrate Christ’s birth, give thanks for what you have and what you can accomplish through our Savior.

[polecat]

19 minutes ago, Petronella said:

I still don’t get what some posters are reading into Lori saying that a facelift isn’t worth the risk of dying. Seems a pretty reasonable position.

No, I agree it's not worth dying for a facelift -- I just found her idea that it would be humiliating to be silly. She's going to be too dead to feel anything, and her family certainly won't be humiliated. They'll be grieving. 

10 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

polecat...repeat after me...I'M NOT UGLY!!! Say it again: I'M NOT UGLY!!!

People who focus on outward "beauty" rarely focus on the inside. I've read your posts and you DO NOT have an ugly inside. 

Aging, getting older is tough on all of us who would rather see our 20 year old faces and hair (and bodies) in the mirror. 

You're very kind. Thank you for this.

[Petronella]

1 minute ago, polecat said:

No, I agree it's not worth dying for a facelift -- I just found her idea that it would be humiliating to be silly. She's going to be too dead to feel anything, and her family certainly won't be humiliated. They'll be grieving. 

Honestly, I would put it the same way. "I would feel so silly if I died from a facelift!" It's just a lighthearted way to describe it.

[FullOfGravy]

5 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I remember someone once commenting on an old Lori video (that’d been posted on here) that Lori’s mouth looked like a butthole. So, so apt.

And appropriate, given the shit and hot air that come out of it.

 

[Briefly]

5 hours ago, Beermeet said:

My long term goal for my stripe is to dye it iridescent purple.  It looks more like lavender.  I saw it on a girl I had an art class with 18 years ago and dammit, I will have that color!  I just didn't want to strip my brown hair with bleach ( even a strip of it, the upkeep,  ugh!) But, now, I don't have to!  I just need it to grow out more. Plus, I think the silver grey will work well with that color. Cheers!

My redheaded daughter dyed her hair with red dye a couple of years ago, she went with red in case it didn't take too well so that it might not be as obvious as it would have if she'd gone with a different color.  She said she's thinking of having it dyed to a deep pinkish color, and I have been thinking of possibly getting highlights myself.  She suggested I go with a deep plum color.  I actually agreed to, but we will get it done professionally IF we actually do it.  Possibly at a local beauty school, but we won't do it ourselves.  I really don't care if people do or don't dye their hair, or if they go with a standard color or something unusual. My sister surprised me this week, she let her daughter dye her (my sister's) hair and my sister is now sporting a bright purple stripe.  I have frequently had long hair, I have let it grow and then cut it off to donate for wigs for kids but I think I'm probably going to keep it shoulder length now.

[SilverBeach]

6 hours ago, Petronella said:

I was responding to me saying "it's normal" and you saying "nah." If I misread what you were saying "nah" to then my mistake. But you still sound like you're saying "no, it is not normal."

Not at all. I would never make such an irrational statement. My post history affirms that.

 

6 hours ago, Petronella said:

So perhaps in that sense we agree: are women over 50 still attractive? Yes!

Do women over 50 still look like they did when their bodies hadn't been through so much *life*? Nope. Is that okay and can it still be lovely? Yes! But it's not the same kind of beauty.

I think that's what you mean too, but you're saying that that different beauty is still just as gorgeous to you. I'm saying to me it's not usually as gorgeous, but I don't find physical gorgeousness to be a top priority.

That's what I mean by normal. It's okay to age. No one should be ashamed of their looks changing as they live life, face challenges, and grow older. (I did not realise this was going to be a controversial statement.) 

I did not like myself as a young woman. Being young didn't make me feel attractive, let alone, gorgeous because I did not fit society's narrow parameters of what gorgeous is. I have always been large, but I love and accept myself now in a way now that I never did then. Maybe I have reversed aged, as I was ashamed then and am not ashamed now of any aspect of my body. No matter the age, confidence and self-knowledge is attractive. I am saying that the standard for older women is different and yes it is just as attractive (I prefer that to gorgeous, as few are gorgeous, most are average) for whatever age bracket you are in. I don't compare myself to a younger me, what is the usefulness in that?

I think it is definitely OK to age and never said anything otherwise, that's why I embrace it. We agree on that. Nothing controversial at all. I do think you misunderstood some of what I initially posted, and I hope this has clarified it somewhat. 

FWIW, I am having the best relationship of my life with a man who adores me in every way, something that escaped the younger me. I wouldn't go back to the younger me for anything.

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

Kindness and intelligence have a way of shining.

Mr. SB says this is what he appreciates about me the most. A beautiful exterior with an ugly interior is of no value. And to those here denigrating themselves, I encourage you to exercise gentleness and acceptance towards yourself.  I cringe when posters refer to themselves as ugly and whatnot, I know what that kind of self-criticism feels like. Not good.

[SilverBeach]

3 hours ago, Hisey said:

I know a woman who died getting a facelift.

Kanye West's mother died from complications after having multiple cosmetic surgeries done at one time. I saw a documentary about it and it was preventable, as she was high risk (heart condition) and went home to recuperate against medical advice. When things started to go south, no one took her back to the hospital or called 911. Absolutely no medical procedure is risk-free.

[Sarah92]

I think self worth is too tied to appearance. I've really been trying to practice the gentleness towards myself thing about my looks. Its always been you're fat (actually a true statement), your nose is too big, hair isn't full enough etc. I'm working on reframing my thoughts. I am fat but I can work towards health for myself. My nose is very much like my dad's and aunts so it's become more loved. My hair while not full is a silky dark brown. Great skin, long lashes, a dimple are all favorite features . I want to be a good role model for my sister so I had to become kinder to myself first. So I'm a cute little potato if I do say so myself.

But appearances aside, I'm an intelligent, kind, artistic, sarcastic, dog obsessed, weird young woman. It just took sooo long to see that in myself. What helped was seeing older women being confident in themselves and not tearing themselves down. That and I came to a point where I feel like God just showed to me how harsh I was towards myself and as a result others (because projection). Damn growing up is a fun roller coaster of ups and downs. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

Honestly, I'd love the face I had when I was in my twenties, the body I had when I was 25 and my current hair at 54.

 

I'd grown out of the teen skin problems. And had no wrinkles.

I was so fit in those days.There was a transport strike so i ended up walking 4 miles twice a day initially for 1 day a week but it was summer so I ended up doing it every day. just because

I'm finally content with the length and condition of my hair. Dye covers the grey that started in my late teens. I really envy SF2's butt length hair but I've come to terms with the fact mine will never ever be that long.

[lilwriter85]

9 hours ago, Beermeet said:

Hate and lies can lead to outside ugliness and aging. Be warned ladies!  ??

I agree with this. I've known a few awful people who look years older than their ages. One person was my friend's step-MIL who was a lot like Lori except she didn't hate working mothers. She had a lot of hate towards gays and non-Christians and most people in my friend's husband family couldn't stand her. She was 59 when she passed away in March, but she looked much older.

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, Sarah92 said:

I think self worth is too tied to appearance. I've really been trying to practice the gentleness towards myself thing about my looks. Its always been you're fat (actually a true statement), your nose is too big, hair isn't full enough etc. I'm working on reframing my thoughts. I am fat but I can work towards health for myself. My nose is very much like my dad's and aunts so it's become more loved. My hair while not full is a silky dark brown. Great skin, long lashes, a dimple are all favorite features . I want to be a good role model for my sister so I had to become kinder to myself first. So I'm a cute little potato if I do say so myself.

But appearances aside, I'm an intelligent, kind, artistic, sarcastic, dog obsessed, weird young woman. It just took sooo long to see that in myself. What helped was seeing older women being confident in themselves and not tearing themselves down. That and I came to a point where I feel like God just showed to me how harsh I was towards myself and as a result others (because projection). Damn growing up is a fun roller coaster of ups and downs. 

I'm working on the same, with the help of my therapist, to get rid of all the negative that has been poured in me by the mother and the X. I have a head of hair to die for, long, naturally sorta curly (think loose spiral perm, but natural), fine strands but a whole lot of those strands. I'm heavier than I'd like to be but much of that is due to a destroyed metabolism due to stress. I can control the crappy eating habits (and I do try), but can't do much about the rest. I smile a lot, have pretty good skin for all the years I baked myself in the Tidewater sun, try to be friendly. I'm sarcastic, love a good joke, feline obsessed, more than a little odd (which is why I think I love living in Vegas), loved by my husband, my children and my friends...so, I ain't too shabby neither. I'll never appear in a SI bathing suit spread (unless they want chubby old broads), but hey...Mr. Xtian likes to leave the lights on if you know what I mean. Can't be all bad if he likes looking at it!

 

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, Sarah92 said:

I think self worth is too tied to appearance. I've really been trying to practice the gentleness towards myself thing about my looks. Its always been you're fat (actually a true statement), your nose is too big, hair isn't full enough etc. I'm working on reframing my thoughts. I am fat but I can work towards health for myself. My nose is very much like my dad's and aunts so it's become more loved. My hair while not full is a silky dark brown. Great skin, long lashes, a dimple are all favorite features . I want to be a good role model for my sister so I had to become kinder to myself first. So I'm a cute little potato if I do say so myself.

But appearances aside, I'm an intelligent, kind, artistic, sarcastic, dog obsessed, weird young woman. It just took sooo long to see that in myself. What helped was seeing older women being confident in themselves and not tearing themselves down. That and I came to a point where I feel like God just showed to me how harsh I was towards myself and as a result others (because projection). Damn growing up is a fun roller coaster of ups and downs. 

So much this! I am the heaviest I’ve been in my life. I got very stressed out from my current job and was putting on 1-4 lbs a week. I was exercising and watching what I was eating. Stress weight is hard to loose. My boyfriend loves me the way I am and is still very much attracted to me. I’ve spent much of my life with body image issues. I have been trying to show myself as much love as I can. It’s very hard to do most days. 

To me, people who are unattractive are that way because of who they are on the inside. 

[fluffernutter]

The one thing as I have aged that is most hard for me to come to terms with is thinning hair. I have so little hair on the top of my head, I either have a hat one, or a handkerchief, or a topper, which is like a half-wig but clips to your bio hair. It is very uncomfortable but there's not a lot of other options out there. I miss my full hair of my younger days. I can deal with being overweight and having wrinkles. But my hair? That's a tough one to swallow. I should add not all women have thinning hair as they age- I am 46 and this is most likely due to thyroid issues. 

[feministxtian]

28 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

So much this! I am the heaviest I’ve been in my life. I got very stressed out from my current job and was putting on 1-4 lbs a week. I was exercising and watching what I was eating. Stress weight is hard to loose. My boyfriend loves me the way I am and is still very much attracted to me. I’ve spent much of my life with body image issues. I have been trying to show myself as much love as I can. It’s very hard to do most days. 

To me, people who are unattractive are that way because of who they are on the inside. 

Yup, stress weight is the worst. I've put myself through some shit over the last 10 years or so...but it is what it is. 

If your bf thinks you're all that, a bottle of Pepsi and a bag of chips, run with it! His opinion is the only one that counts. I think you're pretty awesome too!

[church_of_dog]

5 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

FWIW, I am having the best relationship of my life with a man who adores me in every way, something that escaped the younger me. I wouldn't go back to the younger me for anything.

Mr. SB says this is what he appreciates about me the most. A beautiful exterior with an ugly interior is of no value. And to those here denigrating themselves, I encourage you to exercise gentleness and acceptance towards yourself.  I cringe when posters refer to themselves as ugly and whatnot, I know what that kind of self-criticism feels like. Not good.

Does Mr. SB have a brother? ?

[squiddysquid]

11 hours ago, Beermeet said:

My long term goal for my stripe is to dye it iridescent purple.  It looks more like lavender.  I saw it on a girl I had an art class with 18 years ago and dammit, I will have that color!  I just didn't want to strip my brown hair with bleach ( even a strip of it, the upkeep,  ugh!) But, now, I don't have to!  I just need it to grow out more. Plus, I think the silver grey will work well with that color. Cheers!

You could do mermaid hair! (I thought about dying mine like that, but I spend too much time on the beach

IMHO white hair looks so beautiful, especially if it is long-ish, a friend got gray hair in her early 20s and now has white hair in her 30s, it looks stunning!

[Petronella]

18 hours ago, Petronella said:

Yeah, that assertion is just bonkers.

I think it's probably because even women who intend to stay at home when they have children will do something with their lives (studying and/or working) before they get married. Because, after all, what's the alternative? It may be years before you meet Mr Right. It may be years after that before children come, if they do at all. (And there's no guarantee that their eventual financial situation will allow one parent staying home, though one can certainly make that a priority when making choices on the way.)

Lori advocates something much stranger, women *never* studying, *never* working for money, which has not to do with what children may benefit from, and has all to do with limitations and control.

 

Quoting myself because I’ve been thinking about it a bit more. Do you think her underlying “reasoning” (such as it is) is A or B?

A) If women get a taste of overcoming challenges, experiencing accomplishment, and taking pride in their own abilities (or just taking pride in paying the rent, having food, heat, etc.) before they have kids, they will be unable to resist the siren call of working after they have kids. She recommends trapping yourself and your future daughters so you/they can’t make the wrong choice. (Sort of like keeping only healthy food in the house when you’re on a diet. You know Doritos are tempting but not good for you, so you make sure the option isn’t there.)

—OR—

B ) It’s not really about children and childcare at all, and “won’t someone think of the children???” is just a front for promoting a system of hierarchy that Lori believes (ironically) to give her power and prestige.

I suspect with Lori it’s B, but with some true believers A.

Either way, it’s really sad to put limits on future possibilities when you don’t know what the future will actually require.

(I have respect for both working and staying at home, and have done both. It’s just that life is long, y’know? Having little kids is just one life stage of several. And even when you are staying at home, depending on the age and number of kids, the DAY can be long. The WEEK can be long. There’s room for options.)

 

[wallysmommy]

More attention seeking and attempts to go viral. The church sign was in 2015, and taken down quickly after negative media. Fundamental baptist, of course, with “Sunday preaching” and “friendly folks.” You know who else demanded equality? The children of Israel held captive in Egypt.  But that wouldn’t work with her script. And Miriam was right next to Moses and Aaron. Oops! A woman leader! How dare she step up and lead the music!

How much time does she spend scouring the internet for obscure things to use in her blogs? Shouldn’t she be scrubbing a baseboard or something wifely? 

[Free Jana Duggar]

I just thought of something. When Moses's sister was watching when Pharoah's daughter found him, she offered to find a nurse to care for him (of course she was going to get his true mother), but the point is she was going to get someone to essentially be a nanny. Shouldn't the Pharoah's daughter been tending to the baby herself if she wanted to keep him? There were nannies in the Bible, so take that, Lori.

[louisa05]

48 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I just thought of something. When Moses's sister was watching when Pharoah's daughter found him, she offered to find a nurse to care for him (of course she was going to get his true mother), but the point is she was going to get someone to essentially be a nanny. Shouldn't the Pharoah's daughter been tending to the baby herself if she wanted to keep him? There were nannies in the Bible, so take that, Lori.

I believe she offered to find a woman to feed him. Wet nurses were common among the upper classes for centuries. But Lori would likely just tell us they were not good biblical Christians. Paul hadn't arrived yet to set Pharoah's daughter straight in Titus 2.