Counting On season 5/6/7: Part 2 - Who cares, even TLC stopped counting

[Ivycoveredtower]

3 minutes ago, seashell1025 said:

LOL I'm too afraid to look that up but I would not be surprised. there is some weirdddd asmr stuff out there!

oh there is a bunch. this is just the first one I came upon after putting Christian Asmr into youtube. No I have not watched it. LOL 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql8U9ThzNow

[Buzzard]

Another week, another chance to lie about timelines and pretend like your audience didnt 1) See the episode last week and 2) Know how to use a calendar. 

Enjoy!

Episode 5

“An Explosive Reveal”

Two full minutes of recaps give way to Larendo, TX.

Jeremy and Jinger play darts, its one year since they got married.  They’re going to go out for dinner but Jeremy has a trick up his sleeve.  The duggars are coming and he bought her a piano.

Jinger helps Jeremy get dressed.  Jinger is homesick and he thinks that she’ll be excited to see them (for their anniversary… this is so odd… does anyone else think its weird that he’d celebrate one year of being couple and NOT being with the Duggars by bringing the duggars?)

Anyway…

They know they’re prego and they appreciate the quiet nights now. 

Jinget th – I miss everyone so much and having a baby on the way even moreso.

JasonTH – We’re really excited to go see her.

They duggars are shown boarding the Duggar plane to fly to Laredo.  They’re wearing winter coats (which is odd for early November in Arkansas)

Jessa TH – Jinger has told me about how hard it is being far, and with a baby on the way, its hard.

JinJer drive to dinner and discuss that next year they’ll need a babysitter or a little chaperone will be with them.

The plane arrives and they get out.  Boob tells John did a good job flying. 

Michelle says the house is “cute” Boob says their house had holes in the walls.

The duggars wander around the house, playing darts and chess, while JinJer have dinner.

Jeremy says its hard to surprise her because they talk about everything.

At dinner, they discuss whether marriage has been what they hoped it would be.  Jinger was nervous about putting pressure on yourself and expectations as a wife.  Jeremy says “for never having done it before, you’ve been a phenomenal wife.”  Jinger expresses that shes worried about measuring up to a standard. Jeremy says “you are the standard.”

TH – Jeremyis really supportive of me and I couldn’t be more greatful.

Jeremy (at dinner) – I thought I would automatically mature and my silly habits would go out the door, but its just the opposite.

Jeremy TH – one thing that surprised me was that jinger opened up a lot and she can crack jokes and play pranks.

At their house, boob lets the piano guys in.

They bring the piano in.  I’m too lazy to look at my other recaps to see if it was purchased from the place they featured.

JinJer continue their “dinner” which really looks more like lunch considering it should be dark by 5:52 PM on November 5 and we’re supposed to believe that they have already finished their entire meal by now…

https://www.timeanddate.com/sun/usa/laredo?month=11&year=2018

The waiter brings Jinger the sheet music to “come thou fount” and she says she loves it.  We see flashbacks to all the times in her life its been playing (engagement, wedding etc).  Its “their song.”  Jeremy explains you celebrate your first year with paper.

Commercial

Rooms to Go , Volkswagen, and Nissan have ads (atleast online).  They need nasty emails… We cant let this slip and have advertisers come back.  This is the first time I’ve seen THREE major retailers with ads on this crap.

Still in Laredo, the sun is setting.  The Duggars hide… boob whispers “don’t squeak the bed.”  No sign of Rufus.

JinJer pull up.  A cable wire is visible on the wall…

Jeremy tells jinger to keep her eyes closed as they walk in.  She sees the piano and says “how is this possible?”  Kisses him, says she loves it and she cant believe she has her own piano. 

The duggars listen secretly from another room… she says thank you.  That’s just weird to have your family secretly  listening to you in your own house and your husband set that whole thing up…

Why is there toilet paper on the night stand?

She starts to play “his song.” They keep kissing, a lot… he tells her that there is “one more” surprise.    He calls to the fam, they come out and jinger squals and hugs Michelle.

Not seen: Any of her sisters, which is weird.  Why are ALL the Duggar men there?  They didn’t move the piano and she’s closest with her sisters.

None of the guys touch Jinger in any way.

Jinger cries.

Michelle – we both cried, it was epic.

They even brought Tyler…

Jinger – I was really missing my family a lot.  It was amazing, I’m going to cry again.

Boob explains that they have limited time and “were so excited about your new one on the way”

(DID TLC JUST FUCK THEIR OWN TIMELINE?  JIN/JER TELL THE DUGGARS THEYRE PREGO AT THANKSGIVING, A FULL MONTH AFTER THIS IS SUPPOSEDLY SHOT…)

J’austin’s house

They are going to get the room set up and the crib.

Joy explained her second trimester was easy and she’s getting more uncomfortable every day.  She’s wearing her “Austin” sweatshirt (again.)

Jessa TH – Setting up the baby’s room made it real.

Joy TH – Austin is very good at building things and he doesn’t read instructions.

They discuss if they have the instructions to build the crib. Austin says its like an adventure to build it without the instructions.  He just needs a picture to put it together.

Jessa TH – I’m the stereotypical man, I throw it out, ben reads them.

JoKen – He doesn’t like to read. Joe – I just need a picture.

Joy – reads the instructions.

They discuss if the baby is a boy a girl.  She doesn’t know but she feels like it’s a boy.  She doesn’t want to find out.  Austin says they’ll find out when its born.   Waiting to find out gives her something to look forward to.  They finish the crib.

Maybe next they’ll get all the other crap out of the room

Commercial

Jet dry

JinJers house.  Jeremy is going to go shopping with the guys and Michelle will chill with Jeremy.  They discuss that she makes Jeremy coffee but cant drink it herself.  She’s getting over the morning sickness, the first 3 weeks it was awful (SO YES, THEY FUCKED THEIR TIMELINE – I know math isn’t my thing, but she was born 7/19, which means she was conceived VERY late October.  If Jinger has been sick for 3 weeks, this could NOT have been 11/5 and Jeremy clearly says the date took place ON their anniversary.)

Michelle talks about the smell aversions she had.

Jinger – Living far from family is hard, you want to be near your mom and sisters.

I liked baked potatoes for a week and now I cant be near them.  Michelle discusses how she needed lemons.  Jinger says that she knew michelle was pregnant when she had pickles.

Jinger th – I need to ask my mom questions about the pregnancy since sh’es been through this.

We have to decide where I want to have it, maybe drive to san Antonio but it’s a 2 ½ hour drive.  Michelle tells her to find the birth center she likes, and michelle will be there.

The guys wander around the grocery store (and a deli?).  Boob is going to make boob’s invention including tater tot casserole and his BBQ tuna fish.  The guys invade the kitchen at the house, Styrofoam plates are in sight.

Jinger says its very “smelly.”

TH – BBQ tuna fish started in 2009 when he was home alone and fed the kids.

Jinger drinks something out of a coffee cup but says she cant eat fish right now.

Ben TH – BBQ sauce shouldn’t go with tuna.

Austin – You shouldn’t mix seafood with BBQ.

Jeremy takes a bite. Jeremy says its “not too bad.”

Boob starts to make tater tot casserole but says he’s never done it before.  John browns meat.  Cans are dumped…

Its done, they take pictures to "prove" that they did it (cuz the TLC cameras dont count, I guess).

They pray, thanks for the baby… pray fro the pregnancy.   J’kids are wearing matching outfits and they eat from disposable plates and cups.  Clearly the Duggars were in texas for a reason that isn’t this fake anniversary visit, the dates don’t add up.

COMMERCIAL

Joken’s house.

Kendra makes a shit ton of French toast…

She’s 17 weeks pregnant and is struggling with morning sickness.  She says she changes what she eats every day and it either sits well or not.  She is surprised how easy it was to make.

They’re going to get an ultrasound to find out the “gender” and john is going to find out and then reveal to all of them at once.  Kendra offers JD French toast in the wamer AKA the place under the oven where I store shit.

They discuss the explosive powder.  JD wont do a “girly” reveal party, even if it’s a girl.

They arrive at the OB.  Kendra is still pukey but she’s eating.  The dr says if he can see the SEX he’ll hand it off to the BIL.  The ultrasound swings in for the money shot, so they turn away and give JD the “evidence.”

Dr says the baby is growing and moving well.  She will come back in 3 weeks.

TTH

Josiah – I’ve been courting lauren for a few weeks and today I’m going to ask for the blessing to marry his daughter.  He heads to a car as country music plays in the background.  Josiah knows this is the next step in his path.

He arrives at the swanson home and daddy is already outside (with a camera) playing football with a brother.

Lauren – our courtship has been going well and wefit well together.

Josiah drops a pass.

He tells daddy that he wants to talk to daddy, littles are sent away.

Ben – you need to have a confidence but not an arrogance.

They walk away and discuss how they’ve seen a lot of eachother.

Joseph – make sure that mr swanson understands that his daughter is the most important person to you.

They sit on a log.  I feel like there should be ice tea for this convo.

Why does all this shit have to be so staged?  Is it wrong to just tlak to this man in his kitchen?

Josiah tells him that he’s been thinking and praying a lot and he knows its time but its scary.  He enjoys the time with lauren and his encouragement and the years of phone calls… He knows in his heart that lauren is the one and wants his blessing.

Swanson laughs and says “praise the lord” and fake delays answering if he has his blessing.  He wants to ask a question…

COMMERCIAL

TH – This is a big deal, he’s been raising this girl he whole life.

Question 1 – do you know lauren’s love language?

Yes, words of affirmation.

TH – Josiah explains love language

Question 2 – Will you be diligent to not go to bed until you’ve worked through things.

Yes, I have practice with my siblings.

Question 3 – What are your plans for lifes work?

Right now I’ve been doing real estate, construction, and cars.  I will do what I can to provide.

Swanson – you need tomeet her needs, love need, and be the provider.

He has his blessing. Now he has to figure out how to surprise Lauren.

TTH

The kids prepare for the party for Joken.  Jana and michelle direct things… JD goes to “set up” his explosion.  He is going to shoot a box of colored explosives and the cloud will be either pink or blue.  He sets up cones.

He’s been chosen because he’s been in law enforcement for 6 years and has “extensive” firearms training.  He buids his bomb.

He caries the box to the middle of the field and leaves it.

Why is there a pic of JinJer on the table around the drinks at JoKen’s party??

This is the same pic that was on the piano last week at the "announcement" but there was a pumpkin next to it:

Kendra’s mom arrives. The crowd has their guesses whether its boy or girl.   Michelle asks Kendra, she guesses a girl.  Joe guesses a boy. Kendra giggles.  Boob says he’s “due” to have a girl.

Grandma and Famy’s mom are in the crowd… was this shot at the same time as the fake pregnancy announcement too?

JD wanders in.  John is wearing “neutral colors.”  They head across the field. 

JD takes aim…

Aaand… we have our answer.

Everyone congratulates eachother and freezes as they stand in a field.  Good times!

Kendra says theres so much fun having a boy.

Next time

Luis comes to Laredo to see JinJer.  They’re going to babysit. Jeremy says its “intense.”  Josiah goes to Georgia to see the swansons and he’s going to propose.

 

[Lurky]

As always, thank you @Buzzard for watching this dross for us!  I really appreciate it, every week!

[Carm_88]

I love that they messed up their own timeline! That's hilarious! Way to go TLC! 

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 hour ago, Buzzard said:

They’re wearing winter coats (which is odd for early November in Arkansas)

Not at all. I grew up there. Depending on when they went, it was pretty chilly some days:  https://www.timeanddate.com/weather/usa/fayetteville-ar/historic?month=11&year=2017

 

P.S. Thanks, as always, for recapping!

[Buzzard]

29 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Not at all. I grew up there. Depending on when they went, it was pretty chilly some days:  https://www.timeanddate.com/weather/usa/fayetteville-ar/historic?month=11&year=2017

 

P.S. Thanks, as always, for recapping!

According to that link, it was a high of 77 on 11/4 and 81 on 11/5.  Definitely not jacket weather!

[SapphireSlytherin]

But knowing how they play fast and loose with dates, who knows when they actually went? lol

[QuiverFullofBooks]

The Duggar Family Official Facebook page posted the gender reveal on February 5th. Although they certainly might have told the family well before the public, and the video might have been filmed in November, the heavy coats make me think TLC moved it up.

[Sky with diamonds]

Thanks @Buzzard, loving the recaps.

I hate to ask again, but if anyone comes across a video of tonight's episode, could you please post it. I don't know when I will get cable installed. 

[mollysmom]

But I thought lying was a sin? I'm looking at you,  DUGGARS!!!!

[AliceInFundyland]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I love that they messed up their own timeline! That's hilarious! Way to go TLC! 

Agreed. Does it matter, really? We all know this stuff happened. It adds a whole level of humor to see how fast TLC can try and generate a reality to match Duggar “reality.”

[MoonFace]

On 8/13/2018 at 3:06 PM, Buzzard said:

SNIP

Jinger – I can’t wait to talk to my mom because she has a lot of experience.

Kendra – it’s fun being pregnant with joy and jinger.  I think we are closer in due dates so we have a lot happening at the same time.

( I just have to call bullshit here for one second.  If anyone believes for ONE SECOND that JinJer told the news of this miracle to this group, which includes Famy’s mom but not Jill/Derick, Josh/Anna (or any of their other kids besides mac) then I have a bridge to sell them.  Also, why is Jana all the way down at the end of the table? Who is the child that doesnt even get to sit AT the table?)

SNIP

 

PLEASE!! For the love of Rufus, warn me when there is a picture of that family eating with the foam plates and plastic utensils!  It sends my blood pressure soaring to see all that waste.  (Teasing you a bit - but really, it does irritate the crap out of me every time I see them with all that foam.   I can cope with the paper napkins but not the rest.  And don't those people have beverages available with their food?   

Personally, I feel a decent meal is totally ruined by putting it on throw away dishes - because that takes me back to holiday meals at my mother in law's - where food was left in pots and left on counters and the stove and you helped yourself and ate off paper plates.   GAG  

Stepping off my soapbox....................

Edited to add :

I think that is Poor Hannie who is sitting off in the back corner.   FREE HANNIE!!!! 

And TAKE YOUR FREAKIN' HAT OFF IN THE HOUSE- especially at the dinner table!  You aren't in a barn (although those people breed like animals)

 

 

[tabitha2]

With all those hands and two dishwashers even one an Industrial model the laziness and waste of these people is sickening.

[nst]

Thank you Buzzard now I can watch ER and peak during commercials 

sounds delightfully boring 

[Rachel333]

3 hours ago, Buzzard said:

The duggars listen secretly from another room… she says thank you.  That’s just weird to have your family secretly  listening to you in your own house and your husband set that whole thing up…

If this were a scripted comedy that's when she would say something really embarrassing not knowing her family was listening. Surprise parties never end well in those shows. 

3 hours ago, Buzzard said:

Waiting to find out gives her something to look forward to.

The baby itself isn't something to look forward to? 

[ViolaSebastian]

3 hours ago, Buzzard said:

Jeremy TH – one thing that surprised me was that jinger opened up a lot and she can crack jokes and play pranks.

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but this comment made me sad. Ideally, one would slowly open up to a partner over the course of dating them. Ditto with cracking jokes and playing pranks--I'm not big on pranks myself, but having fun like that is part of being in a relationship. It just makes me sad that she only felt comfortable disclosing things AFTER their marriage. There's so much that could go terribly, terribly wrong with that model. 

[Georgiana]

13 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but this comment made me sad. Ideally, one would slowly open up to a partner over the course of dating them. Ditto with cracking jokes and playing pranks--I'm not big on pranks myself, but having fun like that is part of being in a relationship. It just makes me sad that she only felt comfortable disclosing things AFTER their marriage. There's so much that could go terribly, terribly wrong with that model. 

I don't think you're reading it wrong.  The courtship method essentially encourages people to marry complete strangers sexy acquaintances and hope for the best when they get to know them after the wedding.  

And while they love to deny this is the case, occasionally the couples slip up and inadvertently admit that's exactly what they did.  

[ViolaSebastian]

I certainly illustrates how trust develops over the course of time and can't be rushed, no matter what Jim Bob says. 

[justmy2cents]

1 hour ago, mollysmom said:

But I thought lying was a sin? I'm looking at you,  DUGGARS!!!!

It's TLC that's doing the lying. 

[Carm_88]

It really makes me question what the JD and Abbie gender (sex) reveals will be? Because I mean, I wonder will JD ever get sick of blowing stuff up? lol

[Buzzard]

1 minute ago, Carm_88 said:

It really makes me question what the JD and Abbie gender (sex) reveals will be? Because I mean, I wonder will JD ever get sick of blowing stuff up? lol

Clearly, it will be an implosion.  They will buy a property and blow it up, then the littles will go on a scavenger hunt in the rubble for a safe.  They’ll have to recite bible verses to get the key, and Ben will finally give it to them.  Once turned, the box will explode in pink or blue.  Jd and the jana’s Future husband will build a house there.

#totallyplausiblestoryline

[AliceInFundyland]

41 minutes ago, Buzzard said:

Clearly, it will be an implosion.  They will buy a property and blow it up, then the littles will go on a scavenger hunt in the rubble for a safe.  They’ll have to recite bible verses to get the key, and Ben will finally give it to them.  Once turned, the box will explode in pink or blue.  Jd and the jana’s Future husband will build a house there.

#totallyplausiblestoryline

Not that this could be planned...but the bestest part would be if it exploded in pink AND blue. For the the first twins. Not to one of the daughters.

[Alice in Fundieland]

Another thing that doesn’t add up: If the Swansons moved to Arkansas, why did Josiah have to go to Georgia to “visit them” for the proposal?  Maybe they were back visiting family or tying up loose ends and he wanted to make the proposal special since that’s where she’s from, but the wording is awkward. It makes it sound like they still lived there and he had to travel there to see her. 

[nst]

Am I the only one who thinks that Austin is really not that nice?  it seems 

[tabitha2]

The Duggars aren’t that nice. Like for like.