Lori Alexander 49: Immodest, Indiscreet, and Downright Inappropriate

[Imrlgoddess]

7 minutes ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I don’t know much about her childhood but I wonder if behind the scenes there wasn’t some kind of “women are bad” attitudes going around. We’re all molded by experiences and words over a lifetime and maybe it has been so beat into her that women are repugnant creatures who need to be reformed she has gone off the deep end with it. As far as I have seen she hasn’t dared challenged any men commenters like she does the women. She has very flippant responses to women and sometimes weird and too kind feeling responses for men, in my further inspection so far. 

According to her, her parents fought all the time & her mother wasn't submissive.  I find a lot of mixed messages in all of her posts. One minute it's: "my parents were awful", the next it's, "my upbringing was fabulous".  She's incredibly inconsistent or she'll words things that end up reading like left-handed compliments:  " my old, sick mother is very kind" or some such.  They seemed to have the fairly typical, traditional marriage that she preaches:  he worked, mom stayed home, but she and her sisters all attended public school.  There are several blog posts about her parents where she puts them down for one reason or another.

Honestly, I believe she was spoiled, willful child who has turned into a spoiled, willful adult.  Her father put her through college, she totally denounces it.  

 

Just a pairing of posts regarding her parents and her upbringing...there is a significantly different tone to both.  These are a few years apart.  

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/search?q=my+parents

https://thetransformedwife.com/his-children-will-not-ride-the-train-to-hell/

[Curious]

14 minutes ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I don’t know much about her childhood but I wonder if behind the scenes there wasn’t some kind of “women are bad” attitudes going around. We’re all molded by experiences and words over a lifetime and maybe it has been so beat into her that women are repugnant creatures who need to be reformed she has gone off the deep end with it. As far as I have seen she hasn’t dared challenged any men commenters like she does the women. She has very flippant responses to women and sometimes weird and too kind feeling responses for men, in my further inspection so far. 

Lori has spoken about her childhood and her mom in ways that have had her aunts respond on the posts chastising her for things she has said.  Her sisters also seem to be less rigid and extreme. 

She has posted about her being bossy as a child and that her children feared her when they were growing up.   

I tend to think she was just “drawn that way” and likely her family found it easier to let her have her way than fight with her.   She is a person who essentially argued with a toddler over spilled raisins (read: hit said toddler for 4 hours).  If she was equally determined to get her way when she was younger who is going to want to deal with that over every little thing that didn’t go her way.

i could be completely off, but somehow I don’t think I am. Some people are just wired differently and those people can be magnificent or evil

[Sarah92]

27 minutes ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I don’t know much about her childhood but I wonder if behind the scenes there wasn’t some kind of “women are bad” attitudes going around. We’re all molded by experiences and words over a lifetime and maybe it has been so beat into her that women are repugnant creatures who need to be reformed she has gone off the deep end with it. As far as I have seen she hasn’t dared challenged any men commenters like she does the women. She has very flippant responses to women and sometimes weird and too kind feeling responses for men, in my further inspection so far. 

That's a good thought as it would explain a lot but as far as I know, there wasn't.  Someone who've followed along might have a better answer to that. But I know her aunts have scolded her for saying the stuff about women that she has or something along those lines, there's probably screenshots floating around somewhere for that. And her parents paid for her college so they at least support women getting an education. I get the impression that while she was mean to Ken during their early marriage, or they were mean to each other, that her hatred for women kicked off after reading How to be a Helpmeet. But I can't say for sure. People have noted that she's gotten meaner and expressed concern that her tumor might be affecting her thought process.  She says she doesn't challenge men because she doesn't teach men, except for when she occasionally does or when she deletes them. But again you're right when she often shows an odd sympathy for males and is very flippant with women. 

But looking at it developmentally or psychologically, I have to say something is off with her emotional responses and reasoning even if it's not at a clinical level. I can't really legally diagnose her with anything or won't get into it much by throwing out disorders but I'd say there are some narcissistic tendencies which very well could have been something she was born with or it developed during childhood. Too bad she doesn't believe in counseling, I think she could really benefit. They'd at least monitor her brain health better, or at least I would as someone who takes a holistic approach. 

[Jessesgirl25]

6 minutes ago, Loveday said:

@Jessesgirl25, you may believe this, you may not, but I completely agree with this comment.

I believe you! Can we all agree to hit the reset button and be friends? I’m looking forward to being here and hanging out with y’all! 

[Loveday]

3 minutes ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I believe you! Can we all agree to hit the reset button and be friends? I’m looking forward to being here and hanging out with y’all! 

Consider the button reset!   Now, because there's so much more to FJ than Lori Alexander, go wander around the site and acquaint yourself with some of our other fundie families and individuals: the Maxwells, the Rodriguii (that's Jill Rodrigues of my earlier Plexus reference, she's something else, let me tell ya!), Brother Gary, any of the Duggars, John Shrader in sub-Saharan Africa...the list goes on.

But stay away from the Nauglers for awhile. It's a literal shit-storm in those threads. And by shit...I mean real shit.  You need to work up to that lot gradually. 

[Sarah92]

8 minutes ago, Loveday said:

But stay away from the Nauglers for awhile. It's a literal shit-storm in those threads. And by shit...I mean real shit.  You need to work up to that lot gradually. 

I haven't been over there but now I'm tempted..... gah must resist. 

 

Also I hate job applications especially on sites that aren't user friendly and don't work half the time. They've already sent me an email saying they're reviewing my application and I'm like slow your roll I'm not even finished yet. *Bangs head*

[Jessesgirl25]

6 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Consider the button reset!   Now, because there's so much more to FJ than Lori Alexander, go wander around the site and acquaint yourself with some of our other fundie families and individuals: the Maxwells, the Rodriguii (that's Jill Rodrigues of my earlier Plexus reference, she's something else, let me tell ya!), Brother Gary, any of the Duggars, John Shrader in sub-Saharan Africa...the list goes on.

But stay away from the Nauglers for awhile. It's a literal shit-storm in those threads. And by shit...I mean real shit.  You need to work up to that lot gradually. 

Lol, I’ll do that and thanks!! 

[Loveday]

Just now, Sarah92 said:

I haven't been over there but now I'm tempted..... gah must resist. 

If you do go...take plenty of  Not so much for your brain, but for all the literal shit. I haven't been in there for awhile, I needed a break from the poop and the craziness. 

[Alisamer]

Brother Gary is a good place to start, I think. Fewer threads to wade through, and all absolutely hilarious! Also lacks the eleventy children, so it's easier to keep track of who's who.

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, Curious said:

Lori has spoken about her childhood and her mom in ways that have had her aunts respond on the posts chastising her for things she has said.

I'm going to preface my comment by saying I'm not defending Lori. Her recollection of the past seems to change often and in relation to whatever nonsense she's spouting. However, it's not uncommon to have "outsiders" not know what's going on in a family. Using myself as an example, I grew up in a highly abusive home. No one, not even very close family members, knew what was happening. My father was an extremely charming and handsome man and he used it to his advantage to hide what was really going on. I can't think of a single family or friend that didn't defend him when my parents divorced. 

Eta: good luck @feministxtian and @EowynW. You'll both do great!

[AuntKrazy]

@Jessesgirl25

You had mentioned something earlier that I wanted to ask about; but I don't wish to pry or be intrusive, so please feel to tell me to mind my own business.  You had mentioned the phrase "unequally yoked" - and I wondered, did you come to where you are in your faith after marriage?  (i.e. returned to church after, or became a Christian after)?

My husband and I both suffered (in different churches) incidences of, at minimum, spiritual abuse, and are at different stages of healing with regard to this.  I go to church regularly again, while he practices his faith individually.  It is not how I imagined a Christian marriage would look back when I was in the environment I now recognize was abusive for me; but  I also firmly believe that being married to my husband makes me a better follower of Jesus and a better person,

I am glad that Lori seems to have helped you somewhat, but wondered, do you think you have grown beyond what she helped you with?

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I don’t know much about her childhood but I wonder if behind the scenes there wasn’t some kind of “women are bad” attitudes going around. We’re all molded by experiences and words over a lifetime and maybe it has been so beat into her that women are repugnant creatures who need to be reformed she has gone off the deep end with it. As far as I have seen she hasn’t dared challenged any men commenters like she does the women. She has very flippant responses to women and sometimes weird and too kind feeling responses for men, in my further inspection so far. 

Or she could just be a bitch. There are always outliers and anomalies. And sometimes, no matter how hard you look, it’s impossible to find much good in them. She would be a useful case study in psychopathology. 

[Curious]

Can someone do me a favor and post Alyssa’s Instagram link please.  Stuck in traffic and still using stupid phone or i would search myself.  

@SuperNova I’ll respond when I’m on my computer at home.  Not enough patience left for long 1 finger typing

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

2 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

I'm going to preface my comment by saying I'm not defending Lori. Her recollection of the past seems to change often and in relation to whatever nonsense she's spouting. However, it's not uncommon to have "outsiders" not know what's going on in a family. Using myself as an example, I grew up in a highly abusive home. No one, even very close family members, knew what was happening. My father was an extremely charming and handsome man and he used it to his advantage to hide what was really going on. I can't think of a single family or friend that didn't defend him when my parents divorced. 

I always knew my father fooled strangers outside the family, but I remember feeling stunned when I saw a cousin singing his praises on facebook.  I don't know why.  Maybe the realization that if he ever carried out his threats to kill us she'd be telling the news what a surprise it was and what a nice guy he was.

Catching up with this thread was quite a roller coaster.  Not sure I have anything to add at this point, but congrats @EowynW you'll do great (and so will you @feministxtian)  And welcome, @Jessesgirl25

 

[usmcmom]

3 hours ago, CelticGoddess said:

You're going to do great! 

And, it's not stupid.  I am sitting here trying ot work up the courage to call my pulmonologists office to tell him that I can no longer handle the side effects of a med he's put me on.  A simple phone call and I can't make it.  So, no, you're having a hard time with starting a new venture is NOT stupid.  LIke I said, you are going to do great!  Best of luck!!

I can SO relate about calling doctors. It causes me SEVERE anxiety. I did just call and get myself in for a quick test and received a prescription for an antibiotic and I feel SO RELIEVED. That is what I try to focus on - the relief I will feel when the problem has been addressed and I start feeling better. Plus, I feel...accomplished?? I guess only fellow anxiety sufferers understand that - how victorious we feel after completing a task we have dreaded  

I hope you get the help you need from your doctor regarding the medication.  Many of us understand your anxiety and we believe in you!! 

@feministxtianand @EowynW - YAY YOU!! You both are amazing for going out and getting those jobs!  I am inspired by both of you. 

@Jessesgirl25 OOOHHH! I love reset buttons. WELCOME!  

If I'm forgetting anybody - you are strong and courageous and I believe in you too!  

[Jessesgirl25]

Sorry I’m not ignoring questions, just saw this and wanted to post this real quick before her comment may or may not get taken down. I’ll get back to you guys soon. Promise!  

Someone commented on her post about spare the rod spoil the child and she comes back with  “Whoever wrote this doesn't know the Bible since there is no Bible verse that states "spare the rod and spoil the child."  

Uhhh, okay then....what’s this?

Bueller?

Bueller?

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-rod-chapter-five.html?m=1

Hypocritical little snot wad. Now I’m mad. 

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I believe you! Can we all agree to hit the reset button and be friends? I’m looking forward to being here and hanging out with y’all! 

That works. Consider yourself welcomed by me!  I'm interested in yout point of view. Seems different from mine,and that's OK. Different opinions make me pause and reevaluate my own, I admit to the possibility of being wrong now and then! 

[SuperNova]

27 minutes ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

I always knew my father fooled strangers outside the family, but I remember feeling stunned when I saw a cousin singing his praises on facebook.  I don't know why.  Maybe the realization that if he ever carried out his threats to kill us she'd be telling the news what a surprise it was and what a nice guy he was.

Ugh, that really sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's unfathomable to me that there will always be defenders even when they're given irrefutable proof of abuse. Without giving details, as an adult I testified against my father in a court case similar to my abuse but not related. Even with a conviction, there was family that protected him and condemned me.

[Alisamer]

10 minutes ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

Sorry I’m not ignoring questions, just saw this and wanted to post this real quick before her comment may or may not get taken down. I’ll get back to you guys soon. Promise!  

Someone commented on her post about spare the rod spoil the child and she comes back with  “Whoever wrote this doesn't know the Bible since there is no Bible verse that states "spare the rod and spoil the child."  

Uhhh, okay then....what’s this?

Bueller?

Bueller?

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-rod-chapter-five.html?m=1

Hypocritical little snot wad. Now I’m mad. 

That's Lori in a nutshell. She wants people to believe whatever she's currently saying, no matter that it contradicts her own words and actions. She doesn't speak for God. She is trying to make herself a god.

[SilverBeach]

6 hours ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

I was a mouthy kid so therefore I deserved some of it.

No child ever deserves to be abused.

[Curious]

52 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

I'm going to preface my comment by saying I'm not defending Lori. Her recollection of the past seems to change often and in relation to whatever nonsense she's spouting. However, it's not uncommon to have "outsiders" not know what's going on in a family. Using myself as an example, I grew up in a highly abusive home. No one, not even very close family members, knew what was happening. My father was an extremely charming and handsome man and he used it to his advantage to hide what was really going on. I can't think of a single family or friend that didn't defend him when my parents divorced. 

Eta: good luck @feministxtian and @EowynW. You'll both do great!

I do understand/know that abusers are great at both hiding their abuse and siblings having a completely different experience and I should have been more clear.  Phone typing is not a joy for me and I should just not do it, but I was so. fucking. hot. and didn't want to crochet so I was trying to keep up with FJ, yet not be my usual level of verbosity

Lori is ABSOLUTELY an unreliable narrator!  However, she seems pretty consistent when it comes to her love of control/power.  All the stories about the sending the letter to the people with the dog, the HOA to get a basketball hoop put up, etc.    It's just a gut feeling, but I think she is just wired differently than most folks.   I'm sure her childhood had something to do with her spoiled/entitled outlook on life, but I honestly think she was just such a horror to deal with her family found it easier to give her what she wanted/wants than deal with the resultant tantrum.

I could be completely off base, of course and if someone provides further information at some point, I'm perfectly willing to admit I was wrong

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, Loveday said:

If you do go...take plenty of  Not so much for your brain, but for all the literal shit. I haven't been in there for awhile, I needed a break from the poop and the craziness. 

It's calmed down quite a bit since soapgate and dildogate.

[wild little fox]

52 minutes ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

I always knew my father fooled strangers outside the family, but I remember feeling stunned when I saw a cousin singing his praises on facebook.  I don't know why.  Maybe the realization that if he ever carried out his threats to kill us she'd be telling the news what a surprise it was and what a nice guy he was.

My maternal grandmother went as far as taking my father's side in the divorce because "he's such a good father." Yeah... Narcissistic people are often too good at hiding their monster side. 

[Jessesgirl25]

49 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

@Jessesgirl25

You had mentioned something earlier that I wanted to ask about; but I don't wish to pry or be intrusive, so please feel to tell me to mind my own business.  You had mentioned the phrase "unequally yoked" - and I wondered, did you come to where you are in your faith after marriage?  (i.e. returned to church after, or became a Christian after)?

My husband and I both suffered (in different churches) incidences of, at minimum, spiritual abuse, and are at different stages of healing with regard to this.  I go to church regularly again, while he practices his faith individually.  It is not how I imagined a Christian marriage would look back when I was in the environment I now recognize was abusive for me; but  I also firmly believe that being married to my husband makes me a better follower of Jesus and a better person,

I am glad that Lori seems to have helped you somewhat, but wondered, do you think you have grown beyond what she helped you with?

I started believing in God at 6 years old. Through the years my faith was shaky because of abuse and not feeling protected by anyone, so questioning whether there was a God or not became the norm. In high school got pregnant, got scared because back then I lived in a volatile family and no support from the baby’s father so I had an abortion.  Senior year my best friend whom I had grown up with and went to church with every Sunday, Wednesday and Friday, killed himself. Furthered the spiral. Got married as soon as I possibly could to the waaay wrong man, who also was not a Christian but I wasn’t living like one either. 

Fast forward a few years to a divorce thankfully without kids involved because it would have been a mess, he was a real jerk to say the least. I wandered around for awhile, went to Vegas, The Carolinas and eventually came back home. Met my now husband and we got pregnant with our first very quickly. 

As I’ve gotten older and added 3 more to our family (4 kiddos between us total, 5 with his son from a previous but he doesn’t live with us, he lives with his Mama) I have slowly been coming back to my faith. Hard for our marriage because I wasn’t like this when my husband and I first met. Some of what Lori has suggested has pointed me in the right direction, but not everything like I’ve said before. I got the basics from her and developed my own style for it I guess you could say and continue to improve upon it.    

Sorry the long answer, lol, but I hope it answered your question. If not, let me know! 

 

[Frog99]

12 minutes ago, wild little fox said:

My maternal grandmother went as far as taking my father's side in the divorce because "he's such a good father." Yeah... Narcissistic people are often too good at hiding their monster side. 

That must have been especially difficult. And you are right- narcissistic people are very good at self-protection.