Lori Alexander 49: Immodest, Indiscreet, and Downright Inappropriate

[Lgirlrocks]

2 hours ago, Curious said:

Lori has spoken about her childhood and her mom in ways that have had her aunts respond on the posts chastising her for things she has said.  Her sisters also seem to be less rigid and extreme. 

She has posted about her being bossy as a child and that her children feared her when they were growing up.   

I tend to think she was just “drawn that way” and likely her family found it easier to let her have her way than fight with her.   She is a person who essentially argued with a toddler over spilled raisins (read: hit said toddler for 4 hours).  If she was equally determined to get her way when she was younger who is going to want to deal with that over every little thing that didn’t go her way.

i could be completely off, but somehow I don’t think I am. Some people are just wired differently and those people can be magnificent or evil

She’s talked about how her mother spanked her with a fly swatter and she was grateful. A lot of parents who spank use their childhood as an example for why it work. “If I had been spanked more I wouldn’t have done XYZ. “ or “I was a good kid because I was spanked.” 

[Loveday]

29 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

It's calmed down quite a bit since soapgate and dildogate.

I...I...what? DILDOGATE??? Um...no, I do NOT want to know what that was all about! 

[Curious]

2 minutes ago, Loveday said:

I...I...what? DILDOGATE??? Um...no, I do NOT want to know what that was all about! 

You really don't (it's not as bad as it sounds while at the same time being worse than it sounds)  

[AuntKrazy]

@Jessesgirl25

Yes, thank you for taking the time to do so.  

I'm sorry that your faith journey has been hard for your marriage.  My husband is so completely on board with anything that enriches me that I cannot imagine what that must feel like.  He will often say that he can tell that going to church is a source of joy and life for me.   

I'm glad you are staying around, and look forward to you contributing your voice to our discussions.  

I personally get snarky and angry about Lori because she personifies a lot of the qualities that were so extreme and damaging to my own faith, and that I have had to work through in order to even return to church.  At one point, going into a church resulted in panic attacks for me.  I critique her "ministry" because I have no wish for others to suffer what I did, and because, in a lot of ways, it's personally still cathartic and healing for me to identify what is wrong with it and advocate something else.  

[Jessesgirl25]

7 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

@Jessesgirl25

Yes, thank you for taking the time to do so.  

I'm sorry that your faith journey has been hard for your marriage.  My husband is so completely on board with anything that enriches me that I cannot imagine what that must feel like.  He will often say that he can tell that going to church is a source of joy and life for me.   

I'm glad you are staying around, and look forward to you contributing your voice to our discussions.  

I personally get snarky and angry about Lori because she personifies a lot of the qualities that were so extreme and damaging to my own faith, and that I have had to work through in order to even return to church.  At one point, going into a church resulted in panic attacks for me.  I critique her "ministry" because I have no wish for others to suffer what I did, and because, in a lot of ways, it's personally still cathartic and healing for me to identify what is wrong with it and advocate something else.  

You’re welcome. And thank you, it’s a process. The whole “winning him without words” has proven to be much harder than it sounds. In this instance aside from my own behavior the only thing I can really do is pray. I just watched The Case For Christ a few weeks ago and boy did it speak to me! Hoping for the same happy ending. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, Curious said:

i could be completely off, but somehow I don’t think I am. Some people are just wired differently and those people can be magnificent or evil

What a shame Lori didn't go the magnificent route. With all of her stubbornness, she might have been a real help to lots of people.

@Jessesgirl25, welcome to FJ.  I guess you have had a bit of a "baptism by fire". I'm glad that things have settled down and that we can all discuss things. (Things had already moved on when I started reading this thread today, so I missed all the crazy stuff in real time.) I find it much more interesting to hear people's experiences and what they think than the things we say when we're too angry to really talk. I'm glad you stuck around long enough!

And @feministxtian and @EowynW--I hope your first days at work went really well, because you are both amazing people, and your new employers are lucky to have you!!1!! 

[Kailash]

Sort of off topic but maybe relevant? Either way, it’s bothering me and I would like to discuss.

I am not a Christian now, although I was raised very fundy. I was taught not to curse at all, even anything that could be considered a euphemism for a curse word. So no gosh, darn, golly, gee or anything like that. I’m sure it’s because it was so deeply ingrained but I still find myself feeling insulted at people who claim to be Christian but use swear words. What are other people’s thoughts on this? (I generally never say anything because I feel religion is a very personal thing. I try not to judge but wonder if these people think they’re bringing people to Christ in spite of cursing? ) 

[feministxtian]

@Jessesgirl25 I know where you're coming from with the unequally yoked thing. I hope your husband comes to faith without going thru what it took to get my hub's attention...

I apologize for all the shitty things I said...there's no excuse, I should know better. OK? 

Just now, Kailash said:

What are other people’s thoughts on this? (I generally never say anything because I feel religion is a very personal thing. I try not to judge but wonder if these people think they’re bringing people to Christ in spite of cursing? ) 

Well, Jesus was a carpenter and he hung out with fishermen. I used to know a bunch of fishermen, they harvested scallops, clams, crab and flounder. I can't see them saying "golly gee willikers" after slicing their hands on a trap or net. Have you ever seen a fisherman's hands? Scars galore. So...although I probably should do a better job of watching my mouth, I'm more suspicious of people who DON'T cuss.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 minute ago, Kailash said:

...but I still find myself feeling insulted at people who claim to be Christian but use swear words. What are other people’s thoughts on this? (I generally never say anything because I feel religion is a very personal thing. I try not to judge but wonder if these people think they’re bringing people to Christ in spite of cursing? ) 

I guess for me, I find most cursing to be more of an etiquette or politeness issue than a moral one (except taking God's name in vain; swearing to God, but not acting like I follow Him). So, I guess to me, it's kind of on par with nose picking or other stuff that can be unpleasant but isn't immoral. If I were really concerned that my rude habits kept people from Christ, I guess I'd try to stop the habits, or at least keep them private.

[Curious]

5 minutes ago, Kailash said:

Sort of off topic but maybe relevant? Either way, it’s bothering me and I would like to discuss.

I am not a Christian now, although I was raised very fundy. I was taught not to curse at all, even anything that could be considered a euphemism for a curse word. So no gosh, darn, golly, gee or anything like that. I’m sure it’s because it was so deeply ingrained but I still find myself feeling insulted at people who claim to be Christian but use swear words. What are other people’s thoughts on this? (I generally never say anything because I feel religion is a very personal thing. I try not to judge but wonder if these people think they’re bringing people to Christ in spite of cursing? ) 

I was raised Catholic.  My parents swore, but what I would call "soft" curse words (shit, damn, hell etc.  No f-bombs or anything like that, at least not in my hearing).   As an older teen, I would sometimes swear in front of my parents, but also never the f-bomb (except once when I was SO mad and it just slipped out.  I was probably 24 or 25 at the time and had been out of their house since I was 18, but the second it came out I felt like time slowed to a crawl and I braced for the response.   I'm not sure if they didn't hear me clearly or both independently decided there were bigger things to discuss than my vocabulary, but neither said anything about it and time slowly started to move again.  I looked over at my SO at that time and his eyes were as wide as saucers and he was gripping my thigh *really* tightly.  I just put my hand over his so he would hopefully hold my hand instead of crushing my leg and carried on fighting with my parents like nothing had happened.  I never made that mistake again though.   I wasn't dumb enough to think I'd get away with it again).

They never said anything about cursing to me that I can remember, but I was probably 16-17 when I started being less careful of my language around them.

I personally follow Hermonie's theory of words.  Refraining from saying them is what gives them power, so unless some one is VERY vulgar or using situationally inappropriate curse words (like swearing in an actual chuch) then I just view it as a means of expression.

If someone called me (or anyone) a fucking cunt for example, I'd consider that over the line and out of bounds for civil conversation.

Not sure that answers your question.

1 minute ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I guess for me, I find most cursing to be more of an etiquette or politeness issue than a moral one (except taking God's name in vain; swearing to God, but not acting like I follow Him). So, I guess to me, it's kind of on par with nose picking or other stuff that can be unpleasant but isn't immoral. If I were really concerned that my rude habits kept people from Christ, I guess I'd try to stop the habits, or at least keep them private.

You said this better than I did.   Viewing it as etiquette or politeness vs moral is exactly what I was trying to get at

[AuntKrazy]

@Kailash

I don't know about anyone else here, but I tend to see a lot of life this way:

God is a God who sees all and loves anyway.  He sees the state of my heart.  Language is but a small piece of that.  And there are times when my imperfect heart lashes out, whether or not I swear or even use words.  Of course,  I am responsible for how I use words, and I pray that my words are life-giving; and not harmful.  But I'm not sure that swearing is always active harm, but simply an acknowledgment of my own heart's state.

In any case, I value authenticity because of this - why stack being false on top of everything else?

It's kind of like what Brene Brown advocates in The Gifts of Imperfection - I'm about being who I really am instead of who I think I'm supposed to be. . . And sometimes that self swears. . . (particularly while driving in DFW traffic!)

In letting go of all that energy of trying to be perfect, I've found a lot more "spoons" in my day, if you will, to try to actively love others.  And I think of this as hopefully having more impact than my words.

(oh, and Paul used the word "skubala" (Philippians 3:8), which is the the Greek word for shit.  . .)  

[Kailash]

@Curious It does, thank you so much. Also thank you @feministxtian and @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? 

I obviously use curse words now, and I definitely relate to “slipping” in front of my parents. (Except it was “fart” which was THE F Word in our house. )

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, AuntKrazy said:

And sometimes that self swears. . . (particularly while driving in DFW traffic!)

I discovered that road rage will not earn you an all-expense paid vacation to the local home for the bewildered. At the doctor's office they always ask you if you're feeling suicidal or homicidal...my response is always "does road rage count?". I HATE driving here in sin city. The traffic isn't THAT bad (compared to where I'm from), but man, they ALL flunked driving school. 

[Kailash]

@AuntKrazy I think that’s beautiful, and words I will remember and try to live by myself. Thank you.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@Curious, I copied down this quote a long time ago, because it resonates with me:

Quote

The difference between manners and morals is that, with manners, if there are no witnesses, it doesn't count.

Miss Manners

And I just swore twice in my head because I had a problem posting the quote.  

I liked what you said about God seeing all and knowing all, @AuntKrazy. If I don't use swear words, but I'm consumed by anger and hate, I think that would be worse for my relationship with God than a bad word or two.

[delphinium65]

51 minutes ago, Loveday said:

I...I...what? DILDOGATE??? Um...no, I do NOT want to know what that was all about! 

I want to know! 

[Jessesgirl25]

@feministxtian apology accepted and I apologize also. Things can get gnarly and out of control before you even realize what is happening sometimes. Thank goodness for hearts with the ability to soften! 

I hope it doesn’t take anything crazy for my husband to come to faith. I pray every day and ask God not to take him because he’s not ready yet! 

[TeddyBonkers]

@Kailash, have you ever heard the saying, "I love Jesus, but boy, this mouth!"

That's me to a tee. I try to use swearing to provide emphasis rather than punctuation. I swore in front of my mother because I wanted her to know how important I felt on a certain issue (not the F-bomb, for the record.) But I would and have used the F-bomb on my dad.

A lot of it is a holdover from my Army days. A military person can use a swear word 8 times in a 9 word sentence! When I'm around soldiers from Mr. Bonkers' unit, a lot of it just slips out.

[feministxtian]

6 minutes ago, Jessesgirl25 said:

@feministxtian apology accepted and I apologize also. Things can get gnarly and out of control before you even realize what is happening sometimes. Thank goodness for hearts with the ability to soften! 

I hope it doesn’t take anything crazy for my husband to come to faith. I pray every day and ask God not to take him because he’s not ready yet! 

I prayed for my stepdaughters for 17 years. They were raised Jehovah's Witnesses. I prayed for my husband even longer. I'm STILL praying for my children who are 35, 31 and 28 (almost). If you don't mind, I'll add your husband to my prayer list. 

@TeddyBonkers there's a joke in the Navy that goes something like this..."if you can use the F-bomb as every part of speech in the same sentence you can get promoted to Chief (E-7). Dude, I'd make 4 star Admiral at least. Thank you Catholic high school for expanding my vocabulary! 

[HoneyBunny]

Jessesgirl25- Welcome (I’m finally inclined to say that). But do me a favor (if you’re so inclined)...go back to the Super Sekret chat room and and let them know we’re not Satan personified. Of course, Lying Lazy Lori will have you banned in a heartbeat, so maybe that’s not the best idea either. 

Good grief, she’s hateful. 

[Jessesgirl25]

35 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

What a shame Lori didn't go the magnificent route. With all of her stubbornness, she might have been a real help to lots of people.

@Jessesgirl25, welcome to FJ.  I guess you have had a bit of a "baptism by fire". I'm glad that things have settled down and that we can all discuss things. (Things had already moved on when I started reading this thread today, so I missed all the crazy stuff in real time.) I find it much more interesting to hear people's experiences and what they think than the things we say when we're too angry to really talk. I'm glad you stuck around long enough!

And @feministxtian and @EowynW--I hope your first days at work went really well, because you are both amazing people, and your new employers are lucky to have you!!1!! 

Thanks for the welcome! As far as your cursing question, I generally try really hard not to and being a Christian it can at times make me feel guilty when I do. Case in point, a lot of what I posted here makes me cringe. But it’s really only the “big ones” that really get to me. There’s funny bone curse words, stub your toe curse words and slam your hand in the door curse words at my house, lol. I try to refrain from slam the door ones! 

[refugee]

23 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

I'm about to serve roast chicken and all the (British) fixings but had I known I was a troll, I would have cooked goat..

Ooooo! What would the British fixings be? I would love to be able to pleasantly surprise someone from the UK. Have made them an English breakfast to the best of my ability (fried bread, fried tomatoes, bacon, beans, and eggs—no black pudding or whatever it’s called), but it would be cool to surprise them with a chicken dinner.

[Loveday]

8 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

I want to know! 

Well, the more I think about it the more I kind of DO want to know, but I'm too scared to go there! 

[Jessesgirl25]

2 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I prayed for my stepdaughters for 17 years. They were raised Jehovah's Witnesses. I prayed for my husband even longer. I'm STILL praying for my children who are 35, 31 and 28 (almost). If you don't mind, I'll add your husband to my prayer list. 

I don’t mind at all, thank you. 

[Curious]

1 minute ago, Loveday said:

Well, the more I think about it the more I kind of DO want to know, but I'm too scared to go there! 

*sigh*  Deb, Sally (and maybe Lisa and Al) decided it would be HI-LAR-E-US to post a picture (from Deb's, unknown to us at that time,  sock account) of a double ended dildo sort of wrapped around a beehive soap and say that she had been sent the package unrequested from their stupid soap company.  This was maybe a week or 2 after a member here discovered that the "homemade" soap there were selling was really wholesale soap ordered from Bulk Apocathary (I think that's the right name).

As you can imagine, member here who had NO reason to distrust a 2 year old account with about 50 posts, none of which were out of line in any way, were righteously offended.  The responses still weren't OTT enough for Deb/Sally and Co. so they upped the anti by Deb posting that her husband was blaming HER for the order and was really mad about it.

*That,* of course, got a much stronger reaction from FJ members.   A member here was in a secret fb group with D/S/et al (it's always a fucking secret fb group!) and realized it was them "pranking" us and told us.

Then all hell really broke loose.  Sally doxxed our member and also started posting screenshots from the member's only Naugler forum.  We banned Deb, Sally, Al and Lisa as soon as the doxing happened/ss happened.  Viv was doxxed the next day when she hadn't logged in for 5 months and suddenly did after all the others were banned.

Sally then posted eleventy billion posts over like 3 days about how evil we were and that FJ is a cult, which is why you may see people talking about the FJ Cult on various threads (and my location) and basically they finally got tired after they embarrassed themselves sufficiently while we all made up rules for the FJ Cult and basically mostly ignored them.

I think that about covers it.   I'm sure others can fill in the rest if I've missed anything.  Basically, it was butt hurt anti-nauglers upset we called them out on being no better than the nauglers and wasting a few days of their lives trying to stir up a posse against FJ, which historically has never worked out very well for the people trying to do it and didn't work out very well for them either.   As far as I'm aware they have moved on to another family and given up on targeting FJ.  I honestly don't read Sally's blog because she is an unreliable narrator and a liar.