Kendra and Joe Duggar 9: Garrett David Has Arrived

[Kangaroo]

Oh boy.  Just a month to go until Kendra's due date and the day she becomes the youngest Duggar mother. It makes me feel so sad. 

[Nargus]

@Kangaroo I have friends who had kids when they were younger than Kendra, and they seemed infinitely more mature and prepared for motherhood than Kendra. 

Their whole lifestyle/upbringing keeps them locked in such a state of perpetual girlhood that it's not possible for them to mature into women before they're forced into motherhood.  

[llg1234]

6 hours ago, Kangaroo said:

Oh boy.  Just a month to go until Kendra's due date and the day she becomes the youngest Duggar mother. It makes me feel so sad. 

For now. Barring any issues, Lauren could (barely) set the new record.

[Jellybean]

We’ve got some wonderful posters here who have shared their experiences of being teen mothers, and I have no problem with that, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, @Nargus, in saying that these women are infantilised. They’re not taught to solve problems, manage their time, or think deeply about anything, even their supposed areas of expertise, such as child development, and educational techniques and learning styles.

This is it.

They have reached the goal of being married, and becoming a mother. Having peaked so young, the only expectation is that they will scale up; there’s little emphasis on becoming anything else, or even a better wife and mother through further education, study and mentoring. They are supposed to just submit to their husbands, keep sweet and try to stay young and desirable.

It saddens me that many of these Duggar ‘girls’ and others like them, are being deliberately hobbled like this. 

#FreeThemAll

#FreeTheMall

[fundiesfordays]

I got married at 18 and I haven't regretted the young age at all. My life was very different than the Duggars, though. My husband and I had been dating for 3 years, I graduated high school at 16. By my wedding day, I was a senior in college. I had much more life experience and worldly understanding at 18 than these women may ever have. I was independent and capable of thinking critically, which is something those poor women have been robbed of.

Sure, we were young and dumb and had no idea what we were doing. We still are =P We have both grown very much as individuals over these 7 years of marriage. We were mature for our age then, but MUCH MORE now. There is still a lot we don't know and have to learn, but every decision that we have made, we have made on our own.

My parents had to move in with us recently because my dad had a stroke, leaving him disabled. I guess we have experienced several milestones on the fast-track, and that's okay.  Now I really am glad we married young and got those years together before my parents moved in.

[karen77]

On 5/17/2018 at 1:32 PM, fundiesfordays said:

I got married at 18 and I haven't regretted the young age at all. My life was very different than the Duggars, though. My husband and I had been dating for 3 years, I graduated high school at 16. By my wedding day, I was a senior in college. I had much more life experience and worldly understanding at 18 than these women may ever have. I was independent and capable of thinking critically, which is something those poor women have been robbed of.

Sure, we were young and dumb and had no idea what we were doing. We still are =P We have both grown very much as individuals over these 7 years of marriage. We were mature for our age then, but MUCH MORE now. There is still a lot we don't know and have to learn, but every decision that we have made, we have made on our own.

My parents had to move in with us recently because my dad had a stroke, leaving him disabled. I guess we have experienced several milestones on the fast-track, and that's okay.  Now I really am glad we married young and got those years together before my parents moved in.

But, did you pop out a kid immediately after putting a ring on it?

[Shadoewolf]

I did at 19, yes. But I'd be all sorts of evil by Duggar standards so ya know! But I'd been emancipated at 17 and a sister mom long before that so I was way more mature for my age than I should have been. It's possible to be married and have kids young and have it work out, but I think it's worse in Fundieland.

[AtlanticTug]

On 17/05/2018 at 1:13 PM, Jellybean said:

 

They have reached the goal of being married, and becoming a mother. Having peaked so young, the only expectation is that they will scale up; there’s little emphasis on becoming anything else, or even a better wife and mother through further education, study and mentoring. They are supposed to just submit to their husbands, keep sweet and try to stay young and desirable.

 

I wonder if that makes it easier for them mentally. When I think of getting married that young and having a child immediately, I am horrified. I'm 38 and at 18 I was about go to off to college, I didn't know I'd stay there for 7 years and graduate from law school, wasn't in my sights at all. I was fighting for scholarships, figuring out how to be on my own, how to run my finances, etc. But they have none of those concerns - not a thought about education, budgeting, making rent, passing exams, looking for jobs, working while going to school, dating people who come from different backgrounds, etc. Like literally they have to employ a much smaller portion of their brain as they have a single minded focus. That's a lot of stress they don't have and while I would NOT trade my life for theirs and think that they all do need to be freed, I recognize that it's a lot easier to be married and having a baby at 19 when you literally have NO other responsibilities or goals or stresses or passions or dreams. Sad.

[sansan]

On 4/3/2018 at 7:34 PM, HarleyQuinn said:

So Mr. Caldwell is going to be "popi" What's wrong with just "grandma and grandpa?"  

It is one of the benefits of becoming a grandparent, you get to pick the name you want to be called and nothing is wrong with Popi. It will be an easy name for a toddler to say. 

[singsingsing]

Today is Lauren Caldwell's 18th birthday. I wonder how long it'll be till she starts courting Jer or Jed.

[freethemall]

@HarleyQuinn some people like to use terms for grandma/grandpa they grew up with, it's not really a new tradition. My MIL is "mimi" because that's what she grew up calling her grandma, my husband grew up with "pop pop" for his grandpa. Now my FIL has decided to be called "Dude" or "Grandpa Dude" because, I dunno, he's special. At this point I really can't judge whatever terms people choose.

[Jellybean]

2 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Now my FIL has decided to be called "Dude" or "Grandpa Dude" because, I dunno, he's special. At this point I really can't judge whatever terms people choose.

I love this and really, really want it to be a reference to The Big Lebowski. I can just imagine Grandpa Dude taking the grandkids bowling, or sitting around in bathrobes/dressing gowns, with milk for the baby and a White Russian for the Dude...

[fundiesfordays]

20 hours ago, karen77 said:

But, did you pop out a kid immediately after putting a ring on it?

Nope, infertility made sure of that!

[Jellybean]

1 hour ago, fundiesfordays said:

Nope, infertility made sure of that!

Ugh. Life can be so unfair sometimes, can’t it? I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience infertility, and I’m sorry about your dad’s recent medical issues. I hope that you and your husband can still enjoy each other, and find time for things that are just for the two of you, as well as things that are also good for your parents.

[Cheetah]

23 hours ago, sansan said:

It is one of the benefits of becoming a grandparent, you get to pick the name you want to be called and nothing is wrong with Popi. It will be an easy name for a toddler to say. 

Just have to say that it's not entirely up to the grandparents... parents have veto power here, and the little ones sometimes override everyone's previous decisions with their cute mispronunciations.

[fundiesfordays]

@Jellybean Thank you! Defining the "new normal" is the worst part, but we have made the best of it!

[karen77]

19 hours ago, fundiesfordays said:

Nope, infertility made sure of that!

I'm so sorry   We went through secondary infertility, so I got a small taste of what you are dealing with.  

[fundiesfordays]

@karen77 Thank you. I'm sorry you had to deal with it as well. It is a pain no one should have to experience.

I've only started talking about it recently. I finally got tired of thinking of ways to avoid the topic as we received more and more questions about our childlessness. It's honestly been a relief to openly express that we have had difficulties.

[justoneoftwo]

I'm so sorry as well.  Going through that can be insanity hard.  ::hugs::

[karen77]

38 minutes ago, fundiesfordays said:

@karen77 Thank you. I'm sorry you had to deal with it as well. It is a pain no one should have to experience.

I've only started talking about it recently. I finally got tired of thinking of ways to avoid the topic as we received more and more questions about our childlessness. It's honestly been a relief to openly express that we have had difficulties.

I talk about our journey as much as possible, I figure that way if someone else has issues too but don't want to talk about it because of being uncomfortable, then that can open a window. Plus it'll put it out there that they aren't alone. I have met MANY couples that have fertility issues this way. It's way more common than people think.

[libgirl2]

On 5/17/2018 at 12:13 PM, Jellybean said:

We’ve got some wonderful posters here who have shared their experiences of being teen mothers, and I have no problem with that, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, @Nargus, in saying that these women are infantilised. They’re not taught to solve problems, manage their time, or think deeply about anything, even their supposed areas of expertise, such as child development, and educational techniques and learning styles.

This is it.

They have reached the goal of being married, and becoming a mother. Having peaked so young, the only expectation is that they will scale up; there’s little emphasis on becoming anything else, or even a better wife and mother through further education, study and mentoring. They are supposed to just submit to their husbands, keep sweet and try to stay young and desirable.

It saddens me that many of these Duggar ‘girls’ and others like them, are being deliberately hobbled like this. 

#FreeThemAll

#FreeTheMall

I agree. It is so sad. Maybe Jana has the right idea. 

I have a best friend of almost 40 years. In high school, she always said she wanted 12 children. Turns out she had fertility issues. Her husband and her tried and tried but no luck. Our other best friend and I talked to her about possible adoption but it just never happened. I don't know quite why but it is her business. 

She is a fantastic aunt and a pastor in training so she will be "mother" to many one day. 

[Georgiana]

My mom spent so much time deciding what she wanted to be called as a grandmother.  Oh she went through all the options and tried them out and asked people their opinion.  I don't remember what she settled on in the end, because my niece settled on "Amma".  So now she's Amma.  She MIGHT have settled on "Nana", but that was ruled out early thanks to Nana being what my niece calls Moana (and oh boy was my mom unhappy when "Moana" was one of my niece's first words and Amma was a long time coming).  

Meanwhile, my brother's puppy just wanted to be called by his name (Winston)...but not even that was safe.  My niece called him Oshie from the get-go and refuses to hear any corrections.  Poor Winston/Oshie handles it with good cheer and is willing to answer to either name provided you are offering treats or pets.  

[JMO]

Are we officially on baby watch yet? I know she isn't due for a few weeks but still.

[singsingsing]

19 minutes ago, JMO said:

Are we officially on baby watch yet? I know she isn't due for a few weeks but still.

No, please no! I don't think I can handle a ~4 week long baby watch! 

[Kjaerringa]

I hope all is well. We generally see more pregnancy photos than have been posted of Kendra. However...I would be thrilled if she simply said NO to the moneymaker photo machine....or if Joe did, having witnessed bump shaming in all its hideousness with his siblings. Either way, I'm proud of them for bucking the trend. Joyanna did the best she could in that regard, as I am sure submitting to JimBob did not stop when she added Austin to the fam.