Kendra and Joe Duggar 9: Garrett David Has Arrived

[SorenaJ]

Michelle: "We are so thrilled to be welcoming sweet Garrett into our family. We love grandbabies! The Lord has really blessed us, congratulations Joe and Kendra with precious little Garrett, we are so excited!"

[Rachel333]

You've got to get at least one "precious" in there too!

[psycho-hope]

Garrett is a popular name in Ireland, infact there are 3 generations of Garretts in my grans family

[SorenaJ]

5 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

You've got to get at least one "precious" in there too!

That was so creepy, as soon as I saw there was unread posts in the thread I knew I had forgot to put "precious" in there, and I went in to correct it! 

[Icea]

Maybe by naming their son Garrett, Joe and Kendra have actually made sure that Michelle will remember her grandson’s name. 

[lumpentheologie]

49 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Why do we teach kids about safe sex? TO prevent STIs and teen pregnancy. Is teen pregnancy something we should glorify? No, it is something to prevent. You are more likely to live a life of poverty and struggle as a teen parent. Teen parents are not something we should be celebrating here. Can you honestly tell me you would want your daughter to be a teen mother since “I popped out a kid in my teens too”? Really??? Let’s selflessly want better for today’s youth.

As far as I'm concerned 'teen pregnancy' as something to prevent as policy means minor teenagers having children.  Not 18 or 19 year old adults--if they want to choose to start a family young, that is their prerogative. We teach safe sex so people can prevent unwanted pregnancies, a skill that is valuable far beyond the teen years. Sure, a lot of people at 18/19 aren't equipped to be parents, but that's not something that can be determined by age alone.

Nor does young parenthood necessarily mean people can't get more education/job training. It's true it's a lot harder, but we need to be working on making jobs and education more accessible to parents of all ages (affordable day care would be a good start), not policing the reproductive decisions of adults or shaming young parents. 

 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

Oh, so David could have been a shout-out to Dan as well (for Jill and Derick, I mean - I doubt Joe and Kendra named their kid after Dan Dillard, haha).

David is also a major character in the Old Testament, and one fundies seem to greatly admire (probably because he does all kinds of shady and fucked up stuff and is still God's favourite).

Yes, David is in honor of a few family members. Jill or Derick also said at some point that King David is Jill's favorite Biblical character as well, so the name was picked by them for that reason too. 

[Audrey2]

Just a theory (and probably not correct), but if Kendra did choose to give birth in a birthing center or hospital (instead of being transported because the birth wasn't going well), maybe the Duggars think it doesn't count because she didn't try to deliver at home and have Jill's "help". I know with some, birth is almost like religion: you're trying to downplay someone else's, even if it gets the same results, because their methods aren't as "pure" as yours.

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 hour ago, luv2laugh said:

Let’s just all not encourage college for our youth and instead, encourage teenage marriage and celebrate teen pregnancy! 

I haven't seen anyone say that?

[lumpentheologie]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I did stay local and graduated with a pretty modest amount of student loans (between 20,000 and 25,000 - I paid those off a few months before we got married.)

It's so upsetting to me that $20-25k is considered a 'modest' amount of student loans at this point.  Mine were about $30k from my BA (I think I'm about 6-7 years older than @VelociRapture) and that was A LOT to deal with.  I know many people borrow a lot more, but damn, for most people that's a lot of money any way you look at it. 

I really hope we make public universities tuition-free soon. 

[VelociRapture]

31 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

Just a theory (and probably not correct), but if Kendra did choose to give birth in a birthing center or hospital (instead of being transported because the birth wasn't going well), maybe the Duggars think it doesn't count because she didn't try to deliver at home and have Jill's "help". I know with some, birth is almost like religion: you're trying to downplay someone else's, even if it gets the same results, because their methods aren't as "pure" as yours.

I don’t know. Michelle only had two home births and I haven’t seen any of the Duggars claim her births don’t count. 

[Bugaboo]

22 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

@Bugaboo won the name guess! Garrett wasn't guessed as a first name a lot. Mostly as a middle! 

Yay me! I never win anything! Lol.

[Fjrocks]

3 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I majored in English with a minor in Journalism because it was the only thing I felt I was good at. If I had been given some extra time I may have opted to go into Nursing instead. That’s not happening now though since we need to prioritize other things, like saving for our daughter’s education (whatever she ends up choosing to do will require money), moving to a single family home, and hopefully adding another tiny tyrant to the family. 

(And if anyone has any clue how I can use my writing skills as a SAHM that doesn’t include selling my child's privacy and childhood via blogging, hit me up! )

   Ah! I would guessed that, as your education and skill level definitely show through your writing.  You are well spoken and often make compelling arguement that are nicely developed. You also have a knack for reconstructing timelines and pockets of humor.

     You contribute greatly here so it’s definitely not going to waste. 

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

It's so upsetting to me that $20-25k is considered a 'modest' amount of student loans at this point.  Mine were about $30k from my BA (I think I'm about 6-7 years older than @VelociRapture) and that was A LOT to deal with.  I know many people borrow a lot more, but damn, for most people that's a lot of money any way you look at it. 

I really hope we make public universities tuition-free soon. 

I know. I cringed writing that, but it is unfortunately considered a more modest sum compared to what others my age graduated with. It’s why I mentally roll my eyes anytime people insist college students should just work their way through college like they did. The cost of college is astronomical now, the cost of living can be pretty expensive depending on the area, and wages simply haven’t kept up to make paying your way possible for many students. 

3 minutes ago, Fjrocks said:

   Ah! I would guessed that, as your education and skill level definitely show through your writing.  You are well spoken and often make compelling arguement that are nicely developed. You also have a knack for reconstructing timelines and pockets of humor.

     You contribute greatly here so it’s definitely not going to waste. 

So... my English major is showing? 

Thank you. This is pretty much the only chance I have to write right now, so I do what I can. 

[SPHASH]

Yep Garrett was a wedding night baby

[Coconut Flan]

Do we really need to go through how to calculate a due date again?  He was born before his due date anyway.

[luv2laugh]

This is far worse than any normal teen having a baby. This is a fundie teen thus this teen won’t be getting any more education or job training. Kendra doesn’t have any encouraging Mom or sisters to baby sit while she takes classes. Kendra will be encouraged to have more babies within a few more months and to have all the babies her uterus will allow. If Joe dies, Kendra is screwed unless she marries again. This is a depressing situation and why I will not cheer her, Joy, or Lauren on and I certainly won’t celebrate it. Is it truly a victory any time people like Anna or Jill get pregnant? No, it is a reminder of their inescapable situation and horrible odds. I am happy when someone like Jinger gets pregnant because Jeremy seems like a guy that would encourage Jinger in her goals and in living the life of her choosing whether that’s stay at home motherhood, education, or a job. Also, as horrible as Derrick is, he supported Jill when she studied midwifery while pregnant with Israel. Kendra is unlikely to have motivation or support as her mother is married to a douchebag as well.

Can you honestly tell me you’d want your daughter pregnant at 18 saying “Johnny and I are having a baby Mom because we’re both adults and know what is best for us right now.” I can tell you that I want better for my kids and I want them to have a better life than I’ve had and a life filled with more opportunities.  This world is hateful, tough, and hard and it will become more difficult for people to succeed given the competition as well as educational inequity so it’s even more imperative that the youth of today have opportunities. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

I love this thread drift on everyone's education, especially from non-Americans. I know our system in the US is rather long and drawn out, and expensive.....but honestly I love the education I got up through grade12 (at my huge suburban american public high school lol) having to take english and math and languages up through graduation. I was raised in a household where not going to college was not an option, so thankfully for me I'm an academic nerd anyways - I'm sure if it that hadn't worked out my parents would've been fine with me doing something else to further my life, eventually, though.

I could've saved myself a SHIT TON of $$ taking prereqs at community college, but I went to university  for the experience of student life just as much as an education, and I completed my 4-year Bachelor's degree with time to spare, without requiring community college - even though I took a couple classes over the summer for fun anyways (like i said, nerd, haha) (i did use community college to take care of credit requirements in high school such as govt, econ, etc).

[Caskett4ever]

Yeah college is quite expensive. I'm part way through my degree and the amount of student loan debt I'm going to have when I graduate is ridiculous. I did end up going to a private school, but due to the scholarships I got and the piss poor financial shape of my state, it was roughly the same price for me to go to my private university as it would have been for me to go to the in state public school. I'm just glad that I should be able to get a good paying job and be able to live with my parents for a few years, so I can knock out my student loans relatively quickly.

I do think that community colleges are great, especially for people who don't know yet what they want to do. 

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

This is far worse than any normal teen having a baby. This is a fundie teen thus this teen won’t be getting any more education or job training. Kendra doesn’t have any encouraging Mom or sisters to baby sit while she takes classes. Kendra will be encouraged to have more babies within a few more months and to have all the babies her uterus will allow. If Joe dies, Kendra is screwed unless she marries again. This is a depressing situation and why I will not cheer her, Joy, or Lauren on and I certainly won’t celebrate it.

I get you, but how is any of that different from the ones who started in their 20s? Whether they're 19, 23, 28 or 36, it really makes no difference. Unless they manage to leave fundamentalism, waiting till their 20s to have kids basically amounts to sparing themselves a couple more pregnancies and sitting around at home for a while longer. It's all equally depressing to me.

[Carm_88]

I do feel that high school students aren't truly prepared for university. I know that I wasn't. It's hard to say but sometimes, I feel that parents of students and the school push them into university/college when they aren't equipped to handle it. I wish that we could be real with them and that they would listen. University is all fun and games until you get that huge student loan bill. I wish that the Duggars had the opportunity to go on and do higher education. I think that it would have been good for them! I don't know, the world we live in is so fucked up. I feel like we're the generation that's screwed! 

[Seculardaisy]

33 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

This is far worse than any normal teen having a baby. This is a fundie teen thus this teen won’t be getting any more education or job training. Kendra doesn’t have any encouraging Mom or sisters to baby sit while she takes classes. Kendra will be encouraged to have more babies within a few more months and to have all the babies her uterus will allow. If Joe dies, Kendra is screwed unless she marries again. This is a depressing situation and why I will not cheer her, Joy, or Lauren on and I certainly won’t celebrate it. Is it truly a victory any time people like Anna or Jill get pregnant? No, it is a reminder of their inescapable situation and horrible odds.

I think most everyone is on the same page and believes that it is sad that the Duggar women only have one real option in life - to reproduce. But at the end of the day, I do also feel happy for them when a baby is born because I know that it is a joyful occasion for them.

But your originial comment was that you “would never celebrate teen pregnancy.” And that is such a blanket statement and it’s quite honestly offensive.

These are my thoughts as a former teenage mother:

1) It would have broken my heart if people told me that they wouldn’t celebrate my pregnancy or birth. I was already pregnant, I needed love and support, not judgement. My family supported me every step of the way during my pregnancy and it helped to ensure that I could finish high school on time AND be a damn good mother.

2) Babies are a cause for celebration and we shouldn’t celebrate somebody’s birth less simply because of their status. 

3) Of course I hope that my children can avoid becoming teen parents but that is why we personally are open and honest about sex and our experiences as teen parents with our kids, even at their young age. If my children ever did become teen parents, I would love and support them in any way that I could so that they could have every opportunity to succeed at parenthood. Their babies would deserve as much love and celebration as any other.

And as far as college goes, we will obviously present that as an awesome opportunity to our children and support them in any way possible if they choose that route. Obviously college provides many career opportunities and life experiences that I would be thrilled for my children to have. But if my children do not choose to go to college, I want them to know that I support this decision as well and I hope they will find careers that are fulfilling and provide them with a good standard of living.

[luv2laugh]

25 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I get you, but how is any of that different from the ones who started in their 20s? Whether they're 19, 23, 28 or 36, it really makes no difference. Unless they manage to leave fundamentalism, waiting till their 20s to have kids basically amounts to sparing themselves a couple more pregnancies and sitting around at home for a while longer. It's all equally depressing to me.

Joe will likely be able to financially provide better when Kendra is 23 or 28. In fact, Kendra will be able to know herself better by that time and have a better idea of her needs and desires. She will also have made new goals for herself at that point. 

Just like if it was my daughter, I want the youth in fundamentalism to have as many opportunities as they can, despite how limited those opportunities may be. I also want the children to go to bed with full bellies and opportunity themselves. Fundie teens are less mature than secular teens of today. Kendra may be 18 but mentally, she is much younger than a secular 18 year old and has much less opportunities.

Can you honestly say that Kendra’s kids will have the same opportunities of a secular teen mother’s?

I am not a fan of the glorification of Duggar pregnancy nor a fan of the glorification of fundamentalism. I don’t want teenagers to see a pregnant Duggar on the cover of People and say they aspire to be a pregnant teen or stay at home instead getting of more school/training either. At least shows like Teen Mom show the hardship of teen parenthood. These are harmful beliefs and should be exposed for the toxicity that they are.

[melon]

16 hours ago, singsingsing said:

My dad thinks he has that many cousins. He doesn't know for sure. He doesn't know most of them. My grandma is kind of the same, she probably doesn't have 100, but her father had 13 siblings and I don't think she'd even be able to tell me how many cousins she has on that side. I definitely can't imagine that, personally. But I guess it ends up kind of being irrelevant if they're not really part of your life.

I have a friend,and she has at least 54 first cousins.She told me,she knew me better than she did some of her cousins.

I have 4 first cousins.Except when I was very small,under 3,I haven't lived near any of my cousins,but it is always great to see them when I can.

[VanillaBean]

Community college is last-dollar free here in Oregon if you start within 6 months of hs graduation. This is really helping people get 2-year degrees that lead to good jobs 3and also make 4-year college much less expensive. Last-dollar free means the state pays any amount after grants and scholarships.