Maxwell 19: Life is Still Boring

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Wow. A trip to the park. With children. Amazing. Probably requires post-it notes and a conference name badge [i.e. a Maxwell scheduling product and a chore pack]. And what's with the giant plastic food-catcher bibs all the time.

I'm sure the little kiddos loved it, but this is not a major life accomplishment. Moms do this EVERY DAMNED DAY. Of course only Terri is a Mom. The Maxgirls never will be.

14 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

No, seriously!  Please tell me that we are not quoting HSLDA (spelling mistakes and all) to prove that IRL people do not need GEDs!

HSLDA:  If you homeschool CPS will automatically remove your kids!  Just like that!  Pull down the shades because your neighbors are spying on you.  Bar the door, get the guns out, piss everyone off.  Oh and contact us pronto - because we need the publicity.  Oh and send cash!

Reality:  If you are providing minimal education within the laws of your state and not actively neglecting and abusing your children CPS doesn't care.  They have to make a home visit if a report comes in.  They might make a few suggestions but they are far too busy with life threatening situations to bother decent homeschoolers. Oh, and foster care is over-whelmed.  They are not going to take your kids unless you are seriously abusive. 

HSLDA:  Oh, by the way.  If you are actively abusing your children as well as neglecting their education, please don't bother to call us.  We run like proverbial bunnies.  Turpins and Nauglers need not apply.

Reality:  'Tis true.  HSLDA makes a lot of noise and has championed homeschooling rights in the past.  These days they point to their successes and neglect to mention their failures.  They don't touch anything really controversial.

HSLDA:  Contact us if anyone challenges your home-made diploma!  We will fight!  Oh goody, publicity.  We haven't had much recently.

Reality:  Which is easier - getting that damn GED or spending a year in an accredited school to get an acceptable high school diploma, or becoming an example in a HSLDA court case.   Which may take years.  Just saying.

HSLDA is a scare group. They quote things out of context and stir up needless controversy.

[OhNoNike]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Also why is it called Spring Grandma's Picnic? It sounds better as Grandma's Spring Picnic. Why are they so awkward?!

I’m getting so used to them that I didn’t even register this. So weird!  I guess Fall Grandma is someone else. 

[catlady]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Also why is it called Spring Grandma's Picnic? It sounds better as Grandma's Spring Picnic. Why are they so awkward?!

well, these are the people who have a snack in the parking lot of goldfish, so.....

2 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Wow. A trip to the park. With children. Amazing. Probably requires post-it notes and a conference name badge.  I'm sure the little kiddos loved it, but this is not a major life accomplishment. 

i can't think of a reason why they aren't doing this at least every month.  but i can also see them planning out the route, scheduling 15 minutes on the slide before moving to the swings, and maybe using the post-its to assign seats for the picnic.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

35 minutes ago, catlady said:

well, these are the people who have a snack in the parking lot of goldfish, so.....

i can't think of a reason why they aren't doing this at least every month.  but i can also see them planning out the route, scheduling 15 minutes on the slide before moving to the swings, and maybe using the post-its to assign seats for the picnic.

Then writing a boring, awkward blog post praising the planner and regaling us with the entire "logistical" nightmare of taking kids to the park!

[goldbu]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Omg they brought those fucking bibs to the picnic. Ok I admit they are my BEC. It's only Chrisanna's kids wearing them. It cements my thoughts of that family being oddly clean. 

Also why is it called Spring Grandma's Picnic? It sounds better as Grandma's Spring Picnic. Why are they so awkward?!

We had those bibs for my kids when they were younger. I loved them. When they get messy you just wipe them down and throw them back in the bag. They were the only bibs we brought with us when we traveled bc we they were so easy to clean and use again. For me, it was a convenience/time saving issue, not a neat freak thing.
 

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, goldbu said:

We had those bibs for my kids when they were younger. I loved them. When they get messy you just wipe them down and throw them back in the bag. They were the only bibs we brought with us when we traveled bc we they were so easy to clean and use again. For me, it was a convenience/time saving issue, not a neat freak thing.
 

I understand. You aren't the first to say this to me on a Maxwell thread.  I admitted it's BEC for me. My main issue is that these children wear them until they are much older than typical bib wearing ages. And they look uncomfortable on older children. Most children get dirty when playing on a playground so it's pretty funny to me that they would bring these bibs along on a trip where 1) you're eating outside so if you drop a little food it's just on the ground, not your dining room floor and 2) you are going to be playing on a playground where you get dirty anyway so why bother. 

So yes, I'm going to keep thinking Chrisanna are neat freaks.

[Eternalbluepearl]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Why are they so awkward?!

It's a mystery for the ages...

[catlady]

1 hour ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Then writing a boring, awkward blog post praising the planner and regaling us with the entire "logistical" nightmare of taking kids to the park!

i wonder what's logistically harder--going to the zoo with the entire Extended Family, or going to the park with the grandchildren.  for the Maxwells, it's probably a tie.

[freejugar]

Calia was included! nice

[Eternalbluepearl]

I feel two things when I read about Grandma's Picnic. 1. Wow, why is every tiny event such a big deal to this family? 2. Wow, it's at least nice that Teri takes her grandkids to the park. My baby's grandmother isn't interested in her almost at all. There certainly won't be trips to the park. There is a huge spectrum of grandparents out there. Yes, there are the amazing ones that pick up their grandkids from school, take them places, know their shoe size and see them very often. There are also ones like baby Pearl's who just aren't interested in kids. I'm glad Teri is involved at all despite her depression. 

[Coconutwater]

47 minutes ago, goldbu said:

We had those bibs for my kids when they were younger. I loved them. When they get messy you just wipe them down and throw them back in the bag. They were the only bibs we brought with us when we traveled bc we they were so easy to clean and use again. For me, it was a convenience/time saving issue, not a neat freak thing.
 

Those bibs seem perfect for travel, but not everyday use. They just look uncomfortable and they do use them past the age/size limit...

[nomoxian]

I'm surprised there weren't any other kids at the park. It's a small playground, so if there were other kids there, I think it would be more obvious (like seeing them in the background, or pictures taken at weird angles to cut them out of the shot)

Did they plan on going in the early afternoon when many small kids are sleeping? Is there a bigger park in the area that families prefer, so the Maxhells picked the park that they'd most likely be alone at? Did they choose to do the 3 legged race when another family showed up, to distract the kids and keep them from the heathen non-extended-family children?

[PennySycamore]

@nomoxian, maybe finding a time when the park would be relatively empty of other kids is what took planning?

[usedbicycle]

It's true, you never see other kids at the playground or anywhere else during Auntie Play Time. 

My best guess is that they intentionally go when other kids are in school and it's a pretty sparsely populated area. The playground probably sits empty on weekdays when parents are busy.

[Eternalbluepearl]

1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

It's true, you never see other kids at the playground or anywhere else during Auntie Play Time.

I think that's why they created "Auntie's Park."

Think about it. Does "Auntie's Park" sound like the aunties are going anywhere anytime soon?

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I think that's why they created "Auntie's Park."

Think about it. Does "Auntie's Park" sound like the aunties are going anywhere anytime soon?

No it doesn't. I always thought they did "Auntie's Park" so the kids are not around other kids. 

[FloraKitty35]

Sarah only used the word sweet once.  

[OhNoNike]

1 hour ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Sarah only used the word sweet once.  

What a blessing!  Bless Rufus.

[Marian the Librarian]

Quote

We’ve found to do something consistently, one must plan for it, and then do it!

My God, I don't know if I have the mental bandwidth to fully comprehend the profundity of this statement.

[mango_fandango]

Looks like Tina has longer hair.

Abby looks tall, she’s the same height as the aunties and Teri, and she’s still only nine. Is Melanie particularly tall? 

[Dominionatrix]

21 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Or West Side Story. 

When you're a Max, you're a Max all the way

From your first bean burrito to your last dying day

When you're a Max you don't do what you can

You got chores stuffed in packs

You got drudg'ry to plan

 

You're never alone

You're never quite connected.

You're always at home

Your compliance expected

Your moves directed!

[Marian the Librarian]

Stevehovah...I’ve just met a man named Stevehovah...

And suddenly I’ve found

No f*n for miles around

For meee...

 

Stevehovah...

He knows where he’ll go when life’s ovah...

His sons are free to roam,

His daughters? Stuck at home,

You see...

 

Stevehovah...

Say it loud, watch his fam-i-ly quiver,

Say it soft, bean burritos for dinner...

 

Stevehovah! Stevehovah! Steve-ho-vaaaahhhh!

[ophelia]

I'm glad to see that the kids seemed to have a lot of F*N at the park. Maybe that is why this is an annual activity and not a monthly or weekly thing: kids can't be allowed to enjoy themselves too often.
"Kids, you have to think about abortion and death instead of being normal children :-("

Teri's smile looks genuinely happy in these pictures. I can't remember seeing that before.

But gosh, making such a big thing about going to the park with your grandkids and nieces/nephews really pisses me off. I can totally understand that you need to bring more than one adult to manage so many little ones (with some of them certainly still in diapers or not fully potty-trained) but turning this into an event that needs tons of planning and whatever is just plain ridiculous.

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Looks like Tina has longer hair.

Abby looks tall, she’s the same height as the aunties and Teri, and she’s still only nine. Is Melanie particularly tall? 

I think Melanie might be above average height. I don't think she's exceedingly tall, but I think she might be above average for a woman. And Abby could be tall too. She looks tall in that picture. 

[albanuadh_1]

The Maxwells  always make children a burden except when they are a blessing.