Erin and Chad Paine 2: The higher the hair...

[Eternalbluepearl]

22 hours ago, Flossie said:

Assume your children won't appreciate pictures or stories that don't show them in the best light when they are grown up.  

I agree with this and it's not just embarrassing stories but medical information too. I have a few FB friends who constantly post about medical issues with their kids. Even not-so-little kids and one of them, the older child is in college and over 18. Yet, if she has something medical happening, the mother is posting to all her family and friends about so-and-so had this happen today! We are awaiting test results... Or for the younger child, we are at the doctors again, doctor thinks x,y,and z is wrong, will keep you updated. I would be pissed if every time I had eczema or threw up as a kid or young adult, my parent was live tweeting it under the guise of updating friends or seeking prayers. The parents and social media thing gets very blurry. The college-aged child could very well be giving her permission for these medical updates online or could not be, no clue. It's just rubbed me the wrong way for a while. 

[KnittingOwl]

On 10/27/2017 at 7:13 AM, JillyO said:

When my parents told my brother, who was 7 at the time, that he was getting a baby sibling, he said "I'd rather have a guinea pig."

Princess Estelle of Sweden told her parents she'd prefer a hamster when asked if she wanted a brother or a sister.

I'll take that over my DD's answer of "a baby brother AND a baby sister" when I asked her.  I guess that's what I get for asking a five year old. 

[Furbabiesonly]

I don’t know... I feel like in some ways parents get a bit crazy when it comes to keeping their kids off social media. 

As a purely personal example, I live a few states away from my family. About a year ago, when my niece was born, I went home and spent some time with the family. A picture was taken by my boyfriend of myself holding my niece in my arms. My sister was there and saw the picture being taken. It was posed on social media with a caption about how the baby was perfect. My sister freaked out. 

We removed the picture, obviously, and since then have been very sparing in pictures of that niece and only with my sisters permission. 

My sister in law, married to my brother, is the exact opposite. She posts just about everything about their daughter, and has submitted her picture into several baby model contests. It’s just a very personal choice. And there’s no generational right or wrong. Both of these women are about 10 years older than my “millennial” self. 

[Ali]

4 hours ago, Furbabiesonly said:

I don’t know... I feel like in some ways parents get a bit crazy when it comes to keeping their kids off social media. 

As a purely personal example, I live a few states away from my family. About a year ago, when my niece was born, I went home and spent some time with the family. A picture was taken by my boyfriend of myself holding my niece in my arms. My sister was there and saw the picture being taken. It was posed on social media with a caption about how the baby was perfect. My sister freaked out. 

We removed the picture, obviously, and since then have been very sparing in pictures of that niece and only with my sisters permission. 

It is not crazy to want to keep a kid off social media. It is a parent's choice and it should be respected. No one should be posting any pictures of others kids on social media without knowing it is okay with the parents.

[Eternalbluepearl]

2 hours ago, Ali said:

It is not crazy to want to keep a kid off social media. It is a parent's choice and it should be respected. No one should be posting any pictures of others kids on social media without knowing it is okay with the parents.

I agree that asking the parent's first before posting on social media is the respectful thing to do. My family members have been really vocal about not wanting their kids on Facebook though so I knew the rules before any of the nieces and nephews were born. 

[JordynDarby5]

I'm not sure if this is a thing or maybe just me. But on the other end of the spectrum. Before posting on Facebook about family/friend has died. Clear it with that specific family first too before doing that because they might not have gotten a chance to inform other family and friends of the death. Finding out on Facebook is a really bad way to find out. We had a death in the family and not six hours later a relative had already posted on her Facebook who died. Didn't ask. Didn't stop to think about aunts, uncle, cousins or friends who hadn't been called yet or how they would feel to find out that way. Especially the ones up there in age. There were some older relatives and friends that we wanted to contact their son or daughter first and ask if it would be better to hear it from us or from them (their own son or daughter) give their age and health problems. We were still in shock over the death, in no way ready to call people but had to scramble to try and get to people before they saw it on Facebook. Thankfully most hadn't seen it. But what if they had? When asked it never occurred to her not to post it on Facebook it never occurred to her to ask. She didn't think about it. I asked if she really thought that was the best way for the 88 year old aunt to find out her niece died? Would she be ready to answer a call from her or her daughter pissed at finding out that way? How about her best friend? Is that the way she should find out her best friend died? Instead of call from the husband or daughter of her friend? Nope, hadn't thought about that either. If she had asked we would have told her to wait a couple days. That would give us time to reach out to family and friends.

[mstee]

@JordynDarby5 totally agree.  I found out that my grandfather passed away on Facebook. I was not thrilled. 

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, Ali said:

It is not crazy to want to keep a kid off social media. It is a parent's choice and it should be respected. No one should be posting any pictures of others kids on social media without knowing it is okay with the parents.

Absolutely agree. Once something is on the internet there’s no telling where it may end up or who may see it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with parents wanting to protect their children's privacy.

Husband and I originally were ok with people sharing photos of our daughter online. By the time she was six months old I was no longer comfortable with that for various reasons I’m not going into right now and we requested that we be the only ones to share photos of her on social media from now on. We’re lucky that our families were ok with that and respected our right to make decisions we feel are best for our child without belittling our feelings. 

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Absolutely agree. Once something is on the internet there’s no telling where it may end up or who may see it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with parents wanting to protect their children's privacy.

Husband and I originally were ok with people sharing photos of our daughter online. By the time she was six months old I was no longer comfortable with that for various reasons I’m not going into right now and we requested that we be the only ones to share photos of her on social media from now on. We’re lucky that our families were ok with that and respected our right to make decisions we feel are best for our child without belittling our feelings. 

Quoting myself because I don’t think I was as clear as I wanted to be:

I don’t think shaming or judging parents for choosing to share or choosing not to share via social media is fair. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to social media and, when it comes to kids, the parents’ wishes should always be respected. To parents who do choose to share, I would just suggest thinking carefully before sharing because once something is out there it’s very hard to take it back. Just be sure you feel comfortable sharing it and it’s not going to harm your kid in the future. Otherwise, if it’s your kid then it’s your choice. 

[Ali]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

I don’t think shaming or judging parents for choosing to share or choosing not to share via social media is fair. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to social media and, when it comes to kids, the parents’ wishes should always be respected. To parents who do choose to share, I would just suggest thinking carefully before sharing because once something is out there it’s very hard to take it back. Just be sure you feel comfortable sharing it and it’s not going to harm your kid in the future. Otherwise, if it’s your kid then it’s your choice. 

I agree that there is nothing wrong with responsibility sharing pictures of your own kids on social media. I share pictures of my own kids. It is an easy way to share photos with relatives and friends.

Social media has changed things. Schools have social media. Teachers have blogs where they post photos. Libraries have social media. I can easily see what photos of my kid are posted by following these accounts. I also have the option to ask that my kid not be photographed. 

What does bother me is that other parents could be taking photos that include my kid, posting it on social media, and tagging the location.  I am not entirely certain why this bothers me more. Perhaps it is because I likely don't know these parents and they could be making the photos public. They could even be adding my kid's name. I make sure all photos I post of my kid doesn't have a face of another child unless I know it is okay with the parents. 

 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, Ali said:

I agree that there is nothing wrong with responsibility sharing pictures of your own kids on social media. I share pictures of my own kids. It is an easy way to share photos with relatives and friends.

Social media has changed things. Schools have social media. Teachers have blogs where they post photos. Libraries have social media. I can easily see what photos of my kid are posted by following these accounts. I also have the option to ask that my kid not be photographed. 

What does bother me is that other parents could be taking photos that include my kid, posting it on social media, and tagging the location.  I am not entirely certain why this bothers me more. Perhaps it is because I likely don't know these parents and they could be making the photos public. They could even be adding my kid's name. I make sure all photos I post of my kid doesn't have a face of another child unless I know it is okay with the parents. 

 

Hmm. Are the school groups and teacher’s blog private? If they are then you’d likely be less concerned because you’d know most of the people who would have access to those photos. Other parents accounts? They could be private or public - and either way, you likely don’t know who they have as friends and who might have access to those photos.

I get it. I don’t even like our families sharing photos of my daughter because I don’t know everyone on their friend lists. Social media is a great tool for staying connected with people, but that doesn’t mean I want my mom’s distant cousin I’ve never met who lives all the way in the UK to know intimate details about my kid. 

[Melbelle]

I am so happy to have discovered this thread drift!  I'm currently expecting my first child this spring and I'm already wondering how to handle pictures of him on social media.  This will be the first (and likely only) grandchild for both sets of grandparents.  The grandparents all have nieces and nephews that they watch at times and they do post photos of them on sm.  I'm not entirely opposed to them posting photos or updates, but I know I'll be extremely picky about what is posted and I'd rather things go through me first.  Those of you that have dealt with this before, what boundaries did you lay out with your family?  

Anyways, it's my first post here after lurking for awhile!  The Duggars drive me bonkers, but my heart likes the Bates way more than my head is comfortable with!  

[EyesOpen]

I don’t post about my children unless it is something I’d feel comfortable saying about myself. Usually, I post things I’m proud of, are harmlessly humorous and decent pictures for my great aunts and uncles. When my grandma passed away I agonized over the... awkwardness of posting on Facebook. Of course I called all the family, the pastor, close friends... but my church family and extended friends had been getting updates and praying with us... over Facebook. I couldn’t exactly just never acknowledge her death but it was a very awkward and sensitive thing to post.

[llg1234]

Today is Erin and Chad's 4th anniversary.

Chad also updated their blog.

http://chadanderin.com/2017/11/01/for-her-on-our-special-day/

Text under the spoiler

Spoiler

Have you ever tried to write about someone who is very close to your heart, only to be at a loss for words? Have you ever tried to describe your very best friend?…ya know, the one who loves you even when you are in a bad mood or when you do something stupid? Have you ever thought you knew what true love was?…only to watch your spouse demonstrate sacrificial love as she mothers your children and gives of her time and self to others, helping you see how little you know about the true meaning of love? Yes, if you haven’t guessed it, I am trying to write about my dear sweet, beautiful wife, Erin.

Four years seemed like a really long time back when I was a kid growing up. Now it seems as if that period of time is over about as fast as it takes to turn a few pages in a book. These past four years are full of precious memories for me. They are full of laughter, tears, learning, and growing together. They have been the best years of my life! I don’t know why God blessed me the way He has with such a wonderful woman. I never knew God could put so much “amazingness” in just one person! But Erin continues to surprise and impress me with just being herself. She is genuine and real. One of the biggest things that sets Erin apart from many others is that Erin really cares about other people. She doesn’t care about money, about gain, about popularity, or about how she can further herself…all she cares about is others. And it starts in a small circle called “our family.” There isn’t anything that I would ever want to change about her. She is perfect in every way. I can’t thank her enough for all that she has done for us and so many others.

Erin is my biggest inspiration. Not only does she inspire and encourage me to pursue my dreams and keep moving forward in this journey we call life, but she also puts a smile on countless faces. She is my day-brightener, my night song, my sweetheart, my girl, and my forever friend. I love her and I look forward to loving her till I breath my very last.
I love you, Erin.

– YF

 

[HermioneSparrow]

I snark on Cherin very much but sometimes a tiny part of me wishes to have a guy who writes romantic stuff like that one. Men are NOT like that anymore, they're all a bunch of stupid horndogs.

 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, Melbelle said:

I am so happy to have discovered this thread drift!  I'm currently expecting my first child this spring and I'm already wondering how to handle pictures of him on social media.  This will be the first (and likely only) grandchild for both sets of grandparents.  The grandparents all have nieces and nephews that they watch at times and they do post photos of them on sm.  I'm not entirely opposed to them posting photos or updates, but I know I'll be extremely picky about what is posted and I'd rather things go through me first.  Those of you that have dealt with this before, what boundaries did you lay out with your family?  

Anyways, it's my first post here after lurking for awhile!  The Duggars drive me bonkers, but my heart likes the Bates way more than my head is comfortable with!  

Everyone feels differently and no one way will work for everyone. My best suggestion for anyone unsure is to be more private at first. With time you’ll find your comfort level and it’s easier to ease up on restrictions then it is to try and tighten limits. I’d also recommend being polite, but very clear and firm in your requests. If you aren’t comfortable with, say, photos of your baby crying being shared then specifically mention that. If you don’t want certain information - like their full name or the places they go to a lot - then be very clear in letting people know not to share that stuff. Most importantly, don’t let anyone try to guilt you. This is your child and your wishes should be respected.

Personally, I really didn’t want to share photos of my baby when I was pregnant and mentioned that to several people. A few of them told me it was no big deal to share and, unfortunately, I let myself be persuaded. I realized I made a mistake when I started suffering panic attacks over the summer, so we politely requested that our families stop sharing about her. It helped alleviate the anxiety a bit and I’ve felt a lot calmer about what husband and I choose to share now. 

[llg1234]

And now, Erin's message to Chad

 

[candygirl200413]

I'm so sorry but I always hated those closed eye couple pictures. It just like never made sense to me?

[AliceInFundyland]

On 10/25/2017 at 6:30 AM, LawsonBatesEgo said:

I apparently said something very similar about my brother a few weeks after he came home from the hospital - and apparently I wasn't impressed to learn he was staying forever. 

When I met my little brother I told my parents to "put him back in the box."  

[JillyO]

I don't doubt that Erin loves Chad, but it does strike me as funny how often she praises him for "helping" her with the housework. Like he's the world's greatest husband for doing the dishes.

[HarleyQuinn]

On 11/2/2017 at 11:12 AM, VelociRapture said:

Hmm. Are the school groups and teacher’s blog private? If they are then you’d likely be less concerned because you’d know most of the people who would have access to those photos. Other parents accounts? They could be private or public - and either way, you likely don’t know who they have as friends and who might have access to those photos.

I get it. I don’t even like our families sharing photos of my daughter because I don’t know everyone on their friend lists. Social media is a great tool for staying connected with people, but that doesn’t mean I want my mom’s distant cousin I’ve never met who lives all the way in the UK to know intimate details about my kid. 

My kid's school has their own social media app. It's private and you can only access it if you're given a special barcode and password to scan for your specific student.

[Carm_88]

7 hours ago, JillyO said:

I don't doubt that Erin loves Chad, but it does strike me as funny how often she praises him for "helping" her with the housework. Like he's the world's greatest husband for doing the dishes.

Did you see Jill Dillard's over the top instagram post about Derick cooking? I think they do think they have the best husband in the world for "helping." 

[Smoochie]

5 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Did you see Jill Dillard's over the top instagram post about Derick cooking? I think they do think they have the best husband in the world for "helping." 

Sad  isn't it, but in their world they're taught it's their job, wimmens work... so when the hubby does 'help' that's how they view it.  We saw JB 'help' out and serve BBQ Tuna to the kids, so that pretty much illustrates how often he helped out and just how capable he is!

[neurogirl]

Ooh social media faux pas - I was at a wedding at which the bride's crazy mother posted a picture of the bride in her dress on FB...before the ceremony had even started!!! The MOH (fortunately the bride's sister) had to do immediate damage control and explain that while it might seem silly to her, that was actually a big deal   and very hurtful to the bride who hadn't even had her first look with the groom yet.

[Front Hugging Fiend]

On 11/3/2017 at 2:14 PM, candygirl200413 said:

I'm so sorry but I always hated those closed eye couple pictures. It just like never made sense to me?

how else do you show off your perfectly blended eyeshadow? (not gonna lie, her eye makeup is great, and i'd take a million photos like that to document such an achievement too hahahah)