Erin and Chad Paine 2: The higher the hair...

[JillyO]

13 hours ago, Hisey said:

I agree! It is the mature choice. Much better than pimping out her cute kids, or inviting TV cameras into her home. 

 

Except Zach and Whit still do that.  So good for her for getting a job, but they’re still exploiting their kids on reality tv and associated social media accounts. I can’t even imagine how much time these kids spend being photographed for her Instagram alone. It’s not like you take ONE picture of kids this little and get an Insta-worthy one. 

[chaotic life]

MTHFR does not require folate over folic acid. It merely requires a significantly higher dose of it. There wasn’t a prenatal with the correct dose back when I had my last pregnancy in either form.

Pregnancies with lovenox have planned deliveries, whether they are induced or scheduled c-sections. They are done before due date because it’s dangerous to not get off the blood thinners prior to delivery and dangerous to be pregnant without them. I was fortunate to only require folic acid and baby aspirin but I am the only one in my family to have MTHFR and no history of abnormal clotting.

I don’t know much about her more significant thrombophilia. The MTHFR is considered a more mild thrombophilia than most of the other known types.

[Seculardaisy]

13 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

From Erin's Instagram story!

I actually don't doubt that her lullaby CD is pretty good. I'm not into that kind of stuff but I think I'd be more willing to buy that than Lawson's music.

[Hisey]

Call me a grinch, but that video with Carson irritated me. And I usually love the baby videos, I watch Spurgeon and Henry's all the time!

I mean, Carson has no idea what he is saying. For all we know, he thinks "Eberly 'Ope"  is a canary or a puppy. He is just saying this stuff because it makes his mother happy. It's not genuine love or affection, tho Erin obviously thinks it is.

I hate the way fundies foist these emotions on kids and tell them what to think. And then get so happy (hello, Erin) when they think the right way. 

When we were expecting a second child, my four year old had a wide range of emotions. Sometimes, she was full of love and happiness for her little sister. Other times, she definitely did not want the new kid to make an appearance. We'd think she was asleep in her bedroom, when suddenly we'd hear her announce from her bed, "I don't want a little sister!"  She certainly did express her "love" for her new little sister 1000x times per day. That would be unnatural, IMO.

[singsingsing]

Carson already has one little sister, so I'm sure he understands the concept of a baby, what a baby is, what it looks like, what things he can do with it, how to show affection, and so on. I thought the video was cute, and I didn't see Erin trying to project any kind of outrageous emotion or sentiment onto him. Nothing wrong with encouraging a little kid to have positive feelings about the upcoming arrival of a new sibling!

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Carson already has one little sister, so I'm sure he understands the concept of a baby, what a baby is, what it looks like, what things he can do with it, how to show affection, and so on. I thought the video was cute, and I didn't see Erin trying to project any kind of outrageous emotion or sentiment onto him. Nothing wrong with encouraging a little kid to have positive feelings about the upcoming arrival of a new sibling!

That's imposing an adult perspective onto a little child. When my mother was pregnant with my younger siblings, I thought a number of wacky things about the fetus--things I was dead certain about! And I was older than Carson. I see Carson understanding very little about "Everly Ope" except that it makes his mom happy when he says he loves her.

Carson was 14 months when Brooklyn was born. I doubt he remembers a thing about what it's like to have an infant. 

No, Carson is just repeating what his mom wants him to say. 

[VineHeart137]

I think that Carson was told he's going to have a new sister so to him he's just getting another Brooklyn. He knows he likes to hug and kiss Brooklyn so that's what he's going to do with the new baby. It's possible his mom did mention the things he would be able to do with her like hug her and kiss her and he's mostly just repeating it because of he's picked up on the way she reacts- I hardly think that's strictly a fundie mom thing. It's cute, of course she's going to aww and squee over it.

[SweetFellowshipper]

I always have mixed feelings about these pregnancies, especially because Cherin are many people's pet fundies and I admit to finding them cute a lot of the time, so I feel hypocritical.

The thing is, at least when I personally say that I'm unhappy about another young fundie couple who is clearly steeped in the Kool-Aid having yet another baby, I'm not saying it because they are too young, I hate or dislike them or wish ill on them as individuals, or I'm inappropriately concerned about a clotting disorder I don't understand or that is being properly medically treated. Systemically speaking, I hope that fundies do not have more children. Fundies, statistically (I know there are exceptions), vote for Trump and others like him, try to implement theocracy, fight to strip away reproductive choices, are sexist, trans- and homophobic--and usually racist. They want legislation to be based on their interpretations of the Bible and gender roles to be heavily dictated. They don't believe in evolution or climate change. And they don't just want to believe these things and keep them to themselves...they want to restrict other people's basic rights.

Individually speaking, I always hope that every woman is happy with her pregnancy, is treated well, has full access to quality medical care during and after that pregnancy, and has whatever kind of birth she chooses as long as it is safe. But yeah...I also hope that fundies as a whole don't have kids, and cringe inwardly a bit whenever I see a pregnancy announcement, even if I know that that woman and her baby are being treated well as individuals. Because in terms of society, the growth of the fundie movement is actively damaging and harmful. 

Morally, I don't see a thing wrong with that. Ask any fundie and they'll say they want more Christians in the world. Many will say they want fewer Muslims/atheists/etc. Why? Because they think their ideologies are harmful to the world. I think fundie ideology is harmful to the world, so yeah, I want there to be fewer people around who plan on teaching their children those harmful ideologies and continuing a cycle that targets the most vulnerable and marginalized people. Their ideologies shouldn't be so disgusting and damaging that they pop into my head when I see a cutesy birth announcement, but they are.

[AtlanticTug]

3 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

Systemically speaking, I hope that fundies do not have more children. Fundies, statistically (I know there are exceptions), vote for Trump and others like him, try to implement theocracy, fight to strip away reproductive choices, are sexist, trans- and homophobic--and usually racist. They want legislation to be based on their interpretations of the Bible and gender roles to be heavily dictated. They don't believe in evolution or climate change. And they don't just want to believe these things and keep them to themselves...they want to restrict other people's basic rights.

I totally agree. Apart from them being a blight on modern society I also find it sad on an individual level because these are  children being born largely without hope of breaking the cycle. Yes, there will be a few here and there, but mostly they will stay inside their bubble of ignorance and hatred towards others who are not like them. And even the few who manage or want to break away have a deep hole to dig out from - they will have generally piss poor educations, many won't have good work ethic or any experience in a real workplace (some of the Bates kids are exceptions, but look at the Duggars, the Andersons, etc), they will be socially stunted by their upbringing. It's just very, very tough.

Re: Carson, he probably gets the  concept of another baby sibling at his age and given Brooklyn. I was 3.5 when my brother was born and I was super excited about it, apparently, mostly because I thought he would be a doll I could dress up. Even after he was born I was super into it. Then a week in and my grandmother told me that I came up to her to say "I liked having him, but when is he going back?" Ha!

[Hisey]

22 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

I think that Carson was told he's going to have a new sister so to him he's just getting another Brooklyn. He knows he likes to hug and kiss Brooklyn so that's what he's going to do with the new baby. It's possible his mom did mention the things he would be able to do with her like hug her and kiss her and he's mostly just repeating it because of he's picked up on the way she reacts- I hardly think that's strictly a fundie mom thing. It's cute, of course she's going to aww and squee over it.

Everyone's different, I guess, but it irritates me when you teach a kid to mime what you want him to say.  Let the kid develop his own thoughts! Imagine his guilt if he feels jealousy or anger when Everly Hope comes along and monopolizes his mom.

My mom had her faults, believe me, major ones. But she didn't insist I adore my younger sibs. She was not one to acknowledge or validate my feelings, in general. But she did give me a book about jealousy when she was pregnant. It must have resonated, because I still remember a lot of that book! And I wasn't even jealous when the baby came, just delighted. If I had been jealous, though, it would've been OK. (I had the book to remind her it was normal!) Does Carson have the same freedom? In these fundy families it seems that "delight" is the only appropriate emotion to a new baby. I doubt a video of Carson saying he'd rather have a turtle than a new little sister would ever have appeared on instagram. (and I still think he may believe she has a turtle in there)

 

[SweetFellowshipper]

On 10/23/2017 at 12:22 PM, AtlanticTug said:

I totally agree. Apart from them being a blight on modern society I also find it sad on an individual level because these are  children being born largely without hope of breaking the cycle. Yes, there will be a few here and there, but mostly they will stay inside their bubble of ignorance and hatred towards others who are not like them. And even the few who manage or want to break away have a deep hole to dig out from - they will have generally piss poor educations, many won't have good work ethic or any experience in a real workplace (some of the Bates kids are exceptions, but look at the Duggars, the Andersons, etc), they will be socially stunted by their upbringing. It's just very, very tough.

That's very true. Chad and Erin seem like good, nice parents, but they are truly very very steeped in the ideology, on the level of Michaela and Brandon. They are just both more outgoing and comfortable with the cameras, so they come across more "normal" and less stilted. IMO believing that they will ever teach their children non-fundie ideology or limit family size in any way is akin to believing in a fairy tale. I get *wanting* to believe it because they know how to sidestep and evade questions about their beliefs a little more than others, and avoid anything controversial--I don't think we'll ever be seeing any political candidate posts from Erin or statements about gay marriage from Chad, as we have from John/Alyssa and Whitney/Zach--but it doesn't make it true. I don't know if they aren't interested in politics or if they just know they'll cause controversy and don't want people to come out against them, but I highly doubt that if they voted, they voted for anyone but Trump.

[Casserole]

Poor Michael.

 

I realize no family, especially this family, is suddenly going to practice birth control to wait on more children until Michael conceives, but I do feel bad for the pain she is no doubt internalizing while putting on her happiest face for the cameras. She seems to really love and cherish her nieces and nephews, but I know it hurts. 

[jacduggar]

5 hours ago, SweetFellowshipper said:

That's very true. Chad and Erin seem like good, nice parents, but they are truly very very steeped in the ideology, on the level of Michaela and Brandon. They are just both more outgoing and comfortable with the cameras, so they come across more "normal" and less stilted. IMO believing that they will ever teach their children non-fundie ideology or limit family size in any way is akin to believing in a fairy tale. I get *wanting* to believe it because they know how to sidestep and evade questions about their beliefs a little more than others, and avoid anything controversial--I don't think we'll ever be seeing any political candidate posts from Erin or statements about gay marriage from Chad, as we have from John/Alyssa and Whitney/Zach--but it doesn't make it true. I don't know if they aren't interested in politics or if they just know they'll cause controversy and don't want people to come out against them, but I highly doubt that if they voted, they voted for anyone but Trump.

Also, Chad and Erin are the poster fundies. They’re both so happy to be fundie, they live comfortably financially, they are pretty, they are kind, and they seem to be genuinely in love. It’s not an ugly tale of abuse and patriarchy because there isn’t a need for it in their lives. Erin happily does whatever Chad wants/needs, Chad graciously rewards her with nail polish and re-purposed furniture. Their kids are beautiful. They won’t ever leave because they don’t have a reason to, being fundie works for them very nicely. It doesn’t make it okay, especially for their kids, but it makes them happy. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 23/10/2017 at 11:56 AM, VineHeart137 said:

I think that Carson was told he's going to have a new sister so to him he's just getting another Brooklyn. He knows he likes to hug and kiss Brooklyn so that's what he's going to do with the new baby. It's possible his mom did mention the things he would be able to do with her like hug her and kiss her and he's mostly just repeating it because of he's picked up on the way she reacts- I hardly think that's strictly a fundie mom thing. It's cute, of course she's going to aww and squee over it.

This is exactly what I think is happening. Plus I also think it's pretty normal for parents to try and encourage older siblings to be excited about their incoming sibling - fundie or non fundie. After all - momma gonna have an easier time if the 3 year old is excited to hold the sibling rather than being annoyed there is a new baby.  

I have a pregnant friend with a child very similar in age to Carson (a few weeks older) and she's done the same - told her the baby will love her and she'll be able to hold him etc. Her daughter is an only grandchild on both sides and my friend is aware that she is used to being "the centre of the world" and encouraging sibling love is one way to reduce jealousy and he feeling of being "dethroned" after the birth.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 24/10/2017 at 2:22 AM, AtlanticTug said:

Even after he was born I was super into it. Then a week in and my grandmother told me that I came up to her to say "I liked having him, but when is he going back?" Ha!

I apparently said something very similar about my brother a few weeks after he came home from the hospital - and apparently I wasn't impressed to learn he was staying forever. 

[Nikedagain?]

On 10/21/2017 at 11:26 AM, HereticHick said:

[Except for Lawson, who is too busy taking selfies on horseback, accessorized with a baby, biceps, headphones and a kitten]

 

It's like there is a manual!

[JillyO]

When my parents told my brother, who was 7 at the time, that he was getting a baby sibling, he said "I'd rather have a guinea pig."

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

When my parents told my brother, who was 7 at the time, that he was getting a baby sibling, he said "I'd rather have a guinea pig."

Now there's a kid whose not afraid to say what he feels! A video of that would make a funny Instagram story. 

On 10/25/2017 at 6:27 AM, LawsonBatesEgo said:

This is exactly what I think is happening. Plus I also think it's pretty normal for parents to try and encourage older siblings to be excited about their incoming sibling - fundie or non fundie. After all - momma gonna have an easier time if the 3 year old is excited to hold the sibling rather than being annoyed there is a new baby.  

I have a pregnant friend with a child very similar in age to Carson (a few weeks older) and she's done the same - told her the baby will love her and she'll be able to hold him etc. Her daughter is an only grandchild on both sides and my friend is aware that she is used to being "the centre of the world" and encouraging sibling love is one way to reduce jealousy and he feeling of being "dethroned" after the birth.

Not to beat a dead horse. . . I think within the context of a normal, healthy family where negative emotions are tolerated, it is great (and natural) to encourage positive feelings towards a new baby. 

However, in a fundie family, "positive feelings" are all that are allowed. It feels like brainwashing to fall all over Carson because he's saying the right thing. What if he had said negative things about the coming arrival? Would that be on instagram too?

The truth of the matter is, Carson is going to find that baby inconvenient. Maybe annoying. Certainly he'll notice his mom has less time for him. A good parent will prepare him for those feelings. Instead, Erin acts like Carson is just an extension of herself, and mirrors her own joy.

 

[front hugs > duggs]

3 hours ago, JillyO said:

When my parents told my brother, who was 7 at the time, that he was getting a baby sibling, he said "I'd rather have a guinea pig."

When my dad wanted to get rid of the guinea pig we had when I was 5 because he was allergic (code for the only one taking care of it), I said, "that's okay daddy, there's a place for sale down the street. I'll visit you everyday!"

 

He will not let me live this down to this day.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

17 hours ago, Hisey said:

Now there's a kid whose not afraid to say what he feels! A video of that would make a funny Instagram story. 

Not to beat a dead horse. . . I think within the context of a normal, healthy family where negative emotions are tolerated, it is great (and natural) to encourage positive feelings towards a new baby. 

However, in a fundie family, "positive feelings" are all that are allowed. It feels like brainwashing to fall all over Carson because he's saying the right thing. What if he had said negative things about the coming arrival? Would that be on instagram too?

The truth of the matter is, Carson is going to find that baby inconvenient. Maybe annoying. Certainly he'll notice his mom has less time for him. A good parent will prepare him for those feelings. Instead, Erin acts like Carson is just an extension of herself, and mirrors her own joy.

 

If he said negative things, would they be on instagram? No, but I don't think that is an exclusively fundie thing. At the end of the day, 95% of people use instagram as a "highlights reel". I don't have kids to comment on it from a parenting perspective, but the only pictures you're going to see of me on there are the ones where I'm in nice clothes and my hair/makeup are nicely done were taken in flattering lighting - not the ones of me looking like trash in gross lighting wearing sweatpants. The only baking projects you'll see are the ones that turned out well, not the ones that turned out crap. And parents do the same - they'll post their kid being cute, but not their kid being a little shithead. So I take social media posts with a grain of salt. 

I don't disagree that 'keep sweet' is a problem in fundie culture, or that a smart parent will both encourage the older sibling to be excited about the baby and be ready to deal with any jealous feelings that may arise. But it may be happening off social media, which is fine. It also may not.

But I do think the video is cute regardless.......my stupid ovaries are all ERRRRMAAAHHGAAAWWDD at it.

[VelociRapture]

3 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

If he said negative things, would they be on instagram? No, but I don't think that is an exclusively fundie thing. At the end of the day, 95% of people use instagram as a "highlights reel". I don't have kids to comment on it from a parenting perspective, but the only pictures you're going to see of me on there are the ones where I'm in nice clothes and my hair/makeup are nicely done were taken in flattering lighting - not the ones of me looking like trash in gross lighting wearing sweatpants. The only baking projects you'll see are the ones that turned out well, not the ones that turned out crap. And parents do the same - they'll post their kid being cute, but not their kid being a little shithead. So I take social media posts with a grain of salt. 

I don't disagree that 'keep sweet' is a problem in fundie culture, or that a smart parent will both encourage the older sibling to be excited about the baby and be ready to deal with any jealous feelings that may arise. But it may be happening off social media, which is fine. It also may not.

But I do think the video is cute regardless.......my stupid ovaries are all ERRRRMAAAHHGAAAWWDD at it.

I’ve definitely posted baking fails and less than glamorous photos of myself, my husband, and my dog before (the ones of my husband I only post with husband’s ok of course.) I’m a pretty goofy person and I love joking around, so I use those photos as a chance to do that once in a while.

With my baby? Not so much. I’ll post a nice photo of her and add a funny caption to it, but I don’t purposely share photos where she’s clearly upset or that could embarrass her in the future or anything. That may change as she gets older - maybe she’ll be fine having more stuff shared and maybe she’ll want me to avoid sharing altogether. I intend to honor her wishes within reason - I’m not sharing anything that I think could be harmful to her, regardless of what she wants. 

I agree with you about Erin though. It’s absolutely possible that @Hiseyis correct and they’re purposely forcing Carson to only show positive feelings about this pregnancy. But I think it’s more likely he was genuinely excited at that particular moment and Erin just thought it was really cute. Or maybe she’s the type of mom who doesn’t whip the camera out when her kid is upset because she’d rather focus on comforting him. Like you said, a lot of people use social media to showcase their lives at their best and it doesn’t always offer a completely accurate picture of a person’s reality. 

[Carm_88]

Little kids get excited about new things; babies, puppies, goats! It's all something to play with for them. I would think that Carson would be more likely to be annoyed once Everly gets here. 

[Percy]

Being older when social media became popular is a bonus for my family.

The girls are grown up, so I ask permission before posting anything to do with them on social media.

If this had been a thing when they were babies who knows what I would have posted and how many embarrassing photos would be floating around?

I read a story about a teenager in Europe suing her parent for the embarrassing photos posted on social media while she was growing up.  I wonder if this will become a thing in the next 10 years?

[LawsonBatesEgo]

3 hours ago, Percy said:

Being older when social media became popular is a bonus for my family.

The girls are grown up, so I ask permission before posting anything to do with them on social media.

If this had been a thing when they were babies who knows what I would have posted and how many embarrassing photos would be floating around?

I read a story about a teenager in Europe suing her parent for the embarrassing photos posted on social media while she was growing up.  I wonder if this will become a thing in the next 10 years?

I don't think my parents are the 'type' (Dad hates social media, and my mother really only has a facebook and instagram account to follow her kids/nieces/nephews), but I'm still glad my parents didn't have social media when i was a kid when I look at some of the things parents now post of their kids. I so constantly find myself thinking 'did you ever consider how your child will feel about this embarrassing photo/video/story being on the internet in 10-15 years time?'. 

[Flossie]

Why is it so hard to understand?  Don't post pictures or stories of yourself that you won't mind coming back in 20, 40, or 60+ years.

Assume your children won't appreciate pictures or stories that don't show them in the best light when they are grown up.  

Don't post pictures or stories of other people without their approval, and double check that when the pictures or stories are of children.  

Err on the side of caution.