Erin and Chad Paine 2: The higher the hair...

[QuiverDance]

On 11/3/2017 at 11:45 PM, JillyO said:

I don't doubt that Erin loves Chad, but it does strike me as funny how often she praises him for "helping" her with the housework. Like he's the world's greatest husband for doing the dishes.

I find this really annoying, too.  My husband does everything around the house (including for my kids) and doesn’t expect or need to be praised for it like a lapdog.  He is just a contributing part of a busy house.  

I have a feeling, though, that Erin is communicating something very personal in these frequent references to Chad’s helping out. Maybe a very subtle “fu” to her patriarchal father. 

[Ali]

I do most of the housework because I am currently a stay at home mom and my husband works long hours. He frequently helps around the house because he is not a deadbeat. I couldn't see bragging about him helping around the house constantly on social media. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

Maybe a very subtle “fu” to her patriarchal father. 

It could also be her sheer astonishment at a man who actually helps with "women's work." I imagine almost every family they know has a mother and daughters who work their butts off doing the housework and child care while the husband's don't do much around the house. So in her eyes, Chad goes above and beyond her "norm."

[SweetFellowshipper]

On 11/2/2017 at 7:47 PM, HermioneSparrow said:

I snark on Cherin very much but sometimes a tiny part of me wishes to have a guy who writes romantic stuff like that one. Men are NOT like that anymore, they're all a bunch of stupid horndogs.

 

Aww. My husband writes me things like this a lot! I wouldn't want him to write I am "perfect in every way" though. I know that's just me being picky, but I'm a flawed person like everyone else and I'm glad he sees me realistically rather than as an archetype. 

Re: the housework comments from Erin, I sometimes post about that on FB as a form of gratitude, but because he is a wheelchair user so most people don't expect him to do household chores, and he still does MORE of the childcare, cooking and cleaning than I do (and we both work full time). If he did the same amount as me or only "helped," I wouldn't ever say anything about it because that's just our duty as household members. I recognize that in Erin's world, though, that is something very special. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 11/6/2017 at 7:14 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

It could also be her sheer astonishment at a man who actually helps with "women's work." I imagine almost every family they know has a mother and daughters who work their butts off doing the housework and child care while the husband's don't do much around the house. So in her eyes, Chad goes above and beyond her "norm."

This is what I assume is going on. Many fundie women are used to homes where the 'wimmins' do all the domestic work and child care while the men don't lift a finger to help. To me, it isn't anything special when a father changes a stinky diaper because that is part of his job as the parent, but to someone like Erin, a man actually doing something to parent his child rather than just being the 'authority' and leaving all the diapers/childcare to her is actually noteworthy. 

[SassyPants]

On 10/19/2017 at 6:49 AM, ophelia said:

But didn't she choose this lifestyle? Then she should have put up with the consequences, even if it means to deal with 3 kids in diapers and potty train at least one kid a year. This should have been her job as a mother. But instead she forced it on her older daughters once they were old enough.

You're talking about the ideal and a commonsensical approach. In reality, no 1 mom/dad, because in most families someone has to work away from the home to support the growing family, can solely meet the needs of 10-15-19 children. It is not doable. God  does not expand the hours of a fundie parent's day! Those families use the older children as additional hands because they have to, in order to survive. IMO, no 2 people can meet all the daily needs of that many children. I don't care who you are or what your intentions.

[QuiverDance]

Idk. My grandparents had 9 kids. My dad is the oldest. They all went to college. They all went to catholic school. They all grew up to be professionals. My grandmother died just shy of her 100th birthday surrounded by children and grandchildren.  She cooked a meal for her family every Sunday until she couldn’t walk anymore. Her kids were not raising each other. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, QuiverDance said:

Idk. My grandparents had 9 kids. My dad is the oldest. They all went to college. They all went to catholic school. They all grew up to be professionals. My grandmother died just shy of her 100th birthday surrounded by children and grandchildren.  She cooked a meal for her family every Sunday until she couldn’t walk anymore. Her kids were not raising each other. 

9 is a far cry from 19!

Think about it. Michelle has 9 daughters and 10 sons- that is mind numbing.

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 hours ago, SassyPants said:

9 is a far cry from 19!

Think about it. Michelle has 9 daughters and 10 sons- that is mind numbing.

I agree. I admit I have a major pet peeve when people compare "normal sized large families" to Duggar sized families. They don't compare at all. 9 is less than half the size of the Duggar and Bates families. 

[candygirl200413]

Not only that, the duggar/bates are raised in a cult.

[Hisey]

On 11/10/2017 at 6:49 AM, SassyPants said:

You're talking about the ideal and a commonsensical approach. In reality, no 1 mom/dad, because in most families someone has to work away from the home to support the growing family, can solely meet the needs of 10-15-19 children. It is not doable. God  does not expand the hours of a fundie parent's day! Those families use the older children as additional hands because they have to, in order to survive. IMO, no 2 people can meet all the daily needs of that many children. I don't care who you are or what your intentions.

I agree. I am sure that if I had 19 kids, I would HAVE to rely on the older kids. The only alternative would be to grossly neglect the younger ones (leaving them with unchanged diapers longer, never reading to them, buying fast food for dinner every night, not letting them play outside because I couldn't watch them, etc). Anyone would do this. They'd have to.

The difference is, I wouldn't pretend that it was good or normal for the older kids to do so. I wouldn't say it was "good training" for the girls. I wouldn't pay them 3 cents a chore (which I think is insulting). I wouldn't pretend the older ones loved taking care of their siblings 24/7.

Instead, I would thank them. A lot. I'd also apologize for the extra burden on their young shoulders. I'd try to give them more freedom and privileges where I could, because if you are mature enough to care for a three year old, you are mature enough to go out by yourself without an accountability partner, or have a phone, or choose how you dress.

[feministxtian]

My daughter was NOT too crazy about the baby brother...they are 4.5 years apart in age...I would have loved to have them closer together but it did not happen that way. She was pretty much PISSED that he was born. Not sure if it was because he was a brother not a sister or that he was an interloper who spoiled her center of attention spot (I don't remember, it was a LONG time ago). I do remember all the kids were thrilled when I had the last one (by then I was also raising my 2 stepdaughters). And, yes, for a little while I had 3 in diapers, ages 3, 2 and newborn. It SUCKED. Got one housebroken and the next one housebroken and I swore the last one was going to graduate from high school still shitting his pants. it was amazing to have so much time without having to change diapers. 

[Carm_88]

I was 5 when my little brother was born and I was super excited! I have a very clear memory of skipping through the hospital so that I could see him for the first time.  

[SassyPants]

I was 9 and my brother was 5 when our youngest brother hit the scene. I was a second little mom- I literally babysat a newborn while my mom ran errands, grocery shopped or went to appointments. I could make, heat, test and feed a bottle and change a cloth diaper with real pins, like no one's business. I would also babysit the neighbor's newborn who was a few months older than my brother. Newborns sleep most of the time. My parents were a bit older then and so over little kids. My poor youngest brother spent a great deal of time in his playpen. He would hold his arms up to us to get out when we came home from school. I used to pray at night that my mother did not have any more kids.

[QuiverDance]

On 11/10/2017 at 12:41 PM, SassyPants said:

9 is a far cry from 19!

Think about it. Michelle has 9 daughters and 10 sons- that is mind numbing.

It is. Absolutely. My point was just that it is not necessarily the case that in ALL large families children are forced to raise their siblings. The Duggars are a ridiculous and dangerous extreme.  

[sta_sha]

When my sister was born I was almost four and was obsessed with Lady and the Tramp. I didn't want a sister (or brother for that matter), I wanted a cocker spaniel puppy. That never happened. However, when my sister learned to crawl, I taught her how to fetch with her pacifier...small consolation 

[HarleyQuinn]

My older sisters loved having me around until they realized they had to share the TV. They were both quite a bit older than me and close in age to each other so they wanted to watch the same things. But now they had to watch Little Mermaid with me instead of MTV. Lots of resentment.  

[Carm_88]

Chad did a nice thing again, Erin posted it on instagram. Colour me shocked. *sarcasm*

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

I imagine it takes awhile to paint a piano. 

[Ali]

Erin and Chad could have a successful interior decorating business. Chad could build and refurbish furniture and Erin could pick out decorations. There are many who would love that style. 

If they were allowed to have a proper education they would have a greater likelihood of success in opening a business.

[QuiverDance]

Who says they don’t? Didn’t they blog about doing furniture resto?

I feel like that is a popular side hustle in TN. I see lots of buy sell trade posts for redone furniture. I’m guessing from fundie wives. We got  em coming out da wazoo  roun hurrr.  

[faraway]

I mean it‘s great when people do diy and even want to make a business out of it but is shabby chic still a thing? Or is it just fundies? Could you imagine fundies with minimal scandi interior? 

[Carm_88]

Erin and the kids put up the Christmas tree. 

[Oh_Dear!]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

Erin and the kids put up the Christmas tree. 

Looking through these, I feel like Erin definitely keeps a nice home. I know that rustic chic isn’t for everyone, but I love that style. However, while I think her home is pretty, I feel like it’s a bit cold. Maybe it’s the monocramatic palette... I don’t know. It looks very pretty, just cold. 

[AtlanticTug]

1 hour ago, Oh_Dear! said:

Looking through these, I feel like Erin definitely keeps a nice home. I know that rustic chic isn’t for everyone, but I love that style. However, while I think her home is pretty, I feel like it’s a bit cold. Maybe it’s the monocramatic palette... I don’t know. It looks very pretty, just cold. 

I was going to say it looks like a Pinterest board vomited all over itself. I really hate it, but I am not a fan of the over-the-top matchy-matchy style she has going on.

However, judging by Pinterest, lots of people out there love it so I'm sure she's doing a good job within that style.