Joy and Austin: Getting Married is Too Much Work!

[Jug Band Baby]

22 hours ago, Yes, TOTALLY said:

^ I have experienced something similar at work--I am not skinny, just average sized (higher end of a healthy BMI) but I have crohn's disease and as a result there's a lot of things I can't eat and I don't have much of an appetite a lot of the time.  People at work (especially the larger ladies) often say that they wish they had a sickness like mine because it obviously helps me keep my weight in check.  I find it really upsetting because my life is so much harder as a result of this illness and they reduce it to 'at least you're slim though LOLZ'.  I'd much rather be big and healthy than slim and chronically ill. 

A friend of mine was diagnosed with UC last year, lost a lot of weight, and had people say the same bull shit to her!  Yeah, bleeding out your ass and living with chronic pain and always watching for what will cause you a lot of pain is worth the weight loss.  That's just lazy.  She's suffering so bad and wishing she'd die so she can get away from the pain.  All the blood and pain and not being able to eat isn't worth it.  People who wish for diseases need to go flog themselves to a pulp and then ask themselves if living with that pain every day is worth getting skinny without having to make an effort.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Joy's face is looking really slim in the latest video. I really hope nobody's pressuring her to lose weight for her wedding, or that once she's married she doesn't experience pressure to maintain that weight between (inevitable) pregnancies.

I sincerely hope this is what Joy wants, and that Austin treats her well. The fact that they have known each other for years, and seem to have common interests gives me hope, however their lifelong involvement in a patriarchal cult worries me.

This wedding makes me even sadder than Jinger's did. The website was named for Jinger, yet I know we've all been rooting for Joy to escape from the time that purity ring landed on her finger. I guess she passes the torch of hope to Hannie now. Maybe Jana and Hannie will help each other carry it to freedom.

[Jug Band Baby]

I clicked on the article about the bachelor/bachelorette party, and saw this touching article linked in the sidebar.  https://medium.com/@royceyoung/we-spent-months-bracing-and-preparing-for-the-death-of-our-daughter-79f357dd254d . Get tissues.

[Captain Obvious]

5 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

Oh no.  Her gown was custom-made by a lady in the US who says "A true designer has an eye and can size without measuring."  Uh, bullshit.

 http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2017/01/designing-jinger-duggars-wedding-dress_15.html

BS indeed. I wonder which designer she'll rip off for Joy's dress?

Admittedly, the Chinese factory did a pretty good job with Jinger's dress. But designed - no.

[Shadoewolf]

@feministxtian it sounds like we have a similar build, wish I could have upvoted your post 100x!

My problem is hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue/cortisol issues. People look at me and just think I should eat better and exercise more. But I DO eat well and I keep active. The worst two for me were finding a swimsuit for our Disney vacation. I swear I went through 10 stores before I finally found a cute halter top to go with my board shorts. Then I landed a job interview at a great hospital but trying to find an appropriate outfit I kid you not I was in tears. Nothing draped right, or I looked like a thick rectangle with a shrunken head, and I couldn't afford much. I finally found an outfit but it was rough. 

I hate the way society treats women, so judgemental no matter how big or small a gal we are. 

 

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Shadoewolf said:

My problem is hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue/cortisol issues. People look at me and just think I should eat better and exercise more. But I DO eat well and I keep active

I'm pretty much in the same boat. I look like I do nothing but feed my face. Truth is, my skinny-ass, diabetic husband eats 3 times what I do. But he loses weight by breathing...I haven't been active lately...something about a car accident. BUT...the fat cells find me and hang on for dear life...

[Bad Wolf]

1 hour ago, Jug Band Baby said:

I clicked on the article about the bachelor/bachelorette party, and saw this touching article linked in the sidebar.  https://medium.com/@royceyoung/we-spent-months-bracing-and-preparing-for-the-death-of-our-daughter-79f357dd254d . Get tissues.

Well, that was nauseating. Gushing about Michelle, like she's supermom, instead of the checked out woman who let her girls be molested. I'm going to bed.

[SuperNova]

@Jug Band Baby Well said. I genuinely don't understand the "real" woman thing. I don't get how I'm not real because I am small. At what point do I become real?Was I real when I was a size 10? As I lost weight, at what point did I stop existing? I don't know how they can not see irony of judging another woman based on size. 

I also find off the rack clothing to be unflattering. Sadly don't have the budget to have things altered so I bit the bullet and taught myself to sew. I love smartly tailored jackets and crisp skirts but without proper tailoring the look goes wrong quickly. After several years, many mistakes, and sewing lessons, I have clothes that I enjoy wearing and that flatter me.  

[MadeItOut]

@Shadoewolf, that upvote from me is solidarity : hypothyroidism with antibodies & PCOS right here. I'm taking this year 'off' from trying to solve my "unexplained weight gain" (as in getting smaller and constantly the weight is climbing). Even with the world's greatest letter from the dietician that pretty much says 'this woman did NOT eat all the pies, now do your job and solve this thing', we've just had three years of assumptions - most worryingly that if you're this large, you'll settle for the tiniest improvement and things like being comfortable in the workplace or safely working out doing sports or exercise classes you've always loved are "unreasonable expectations".

[Jane M.]

14 hours ago, eleanora3 said:

TLC posted this video: http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/get-the-details-on-joy-and-austins-joint-bachelorette-and-bachelor-party/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=countingontlc&utm_medium=social&utm_content=DCIobj+-+Short+Form&sf76951174=1 

Meh. I'm looking for something negative to say but I can't. They look so cute and adorable together. Young love. 

[nst]

I am against blindfolds so that was an awful proposal imo 

 

[PVMom]

I agree Jane M.   This is the first Duggar girl getting married that doesn't actually creep me out!    Even being 19!   the other girls all had arranged creepy introductions brokered by Jimbob.   They basically were courting and engaged to guys they did not know.    Then here's Joy who's known Austin her whole life and had a crush on him for 5 years.    It's genuine.    The other girls relationships were all brokered weird.

Then all the other Duggar girls married guys financially unstable.     We still aren't sure what Ben and Derrick do for income.   You would think if Jimbob was all up in their relationship with a questionnaire and requiring  jimbob's approval, you would think a financially independent guy would be a big requirement!   Even Jeremy, an Assistant Pastor can't make more than $15 an hour, maybe $30k tops.   But then there's Austin out there flipping houses, and obviously fairly successful if he flipped 5 houses just in the time period they were courting, before engagement.    He mentioned something about owning his own bulldozer business, he's getting his pilot license.    I hate that they are so young but jeez, this is the couple that has it together.

And I know he's from a strict fundie family but I don't know if Joy is going to be driven to be the breeding machine her sisters are.   I see joy as a leader, sort of bossy and not in a hurry to start a family.   Austin has only one sister which tells me that either his family is using birth control or suffers infertility but that's irrelevant, I think he has grown up in a small family and won't be pressuring Joy to pop out babies.   he might even be anti quiverful.    I see Austin as a guy that can take direction from Joy.   We've seen Joy be pretty darn bossy and he's falling right in line.   Like with decorating for jingers wedding, making lists, all that.  He's not the domineering guy at all.    

These two are officially my favorite Duggar couple.  I don't like that Joy has the fundie child's squeaky voice now.    I don't like how she has to look at Austin when she should be making contact with the person who's interviewing her and asking her questions.   Isn't it courtesy to direct your eyes and attention at the person who's asking you the questions?!    But I take that as learned ignorant behavior that is fixable.   

 

[buggers]

Aww. They're actually pretty cute together. I like that he's looking at her adoringly while she speaks; usually that's reserved for the Duggar woman. And they seem very comfortable together - the arms around each other and slight caressing seems way more normal than the previous couples. It's good that they have known each other for so long as it would seem that Joy knows him very intimately and knows the life she will have with him. (No surprises like with Jill and Derrick.)  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Jessa & Joy both seem to have very assertive personalities.  While I think Joy will acquiesce Austin more than Jessa seems to with Ben, but Austin is several years older than Joy (and Ben) Jessa had to be the adult in the relationship because Bin wasn't able to.  But Austin doesn't strike me as authoritative and controlling as Jeremy or Derrick do.   But we haven't seen much of him, and all we've really seen is him cowering to Mr. JB (GAG)

As for the blindfold proposal, I thought it was sweet, he asked if she trusted him and then if he could blindfold her, he didn't just do it.  I thought that was an important step, it shows he considers her feelings as well as his own and in this lifestyle most men don't think like that., Josh, Derrick.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I actually think Joy will pop out a bunch of kids. She's drunk on the koolaid and thinks her mom is the best. She never went hungry because talc was around before she could remember. Austin's dad will keep them in line. Maybe Joy will wear pants because she's so athletic. But that's about as far as she will go away from the Rules.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

6 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I actually think Joy will pop out a bunch of kids. She's drunk on the koolaid and thinks her mom is the best. She never went hungry because talc was around before she could remember. Austin's dad will keep them in line. Maybe Joy will wear pants because she's so athletic. But that's about as far as she will go away from the Rules.

Sadly, I think you are right. She will be the one with the most kids.  

[actuallyjessica]

I actually think Joy will pop out a bunch of kids. She's drunk on the koolaid and thinks her mom is the best. She never went hungry because talc was around before she could remember. Austin's dad will keep them in line. Maybe Joy will wear pants because she's so athletic. But that's about as far as she will go away from the Rules.

I think these two are going to follow the IBLP rules to a T... the way her parents do. As much as she seems more like a tomboy than her sisters, I don't see her wearing pants. I think they're gonna pump out a kid every 15 months (max). Blanket training. The lot.

Hopefully I'm dead wrong and they do the exact opposite, but I guess we'll see.

[ophelia]

I have the same feeling about Joy and Austin. And it scares me that she is so young and could hit the double digits with only one pair of twins before she gets 30. 

[Bazinga]

14 minutes ago, actuallyjessica said:

I think these two are going to follow the IBLP rules to a T... the way her parents do. As much as she seems more like a tomboy than her sisters, I don't see her wearing pants. I think they're gonna pump out a kid every 15 months (max). Blanket training. The lot.

Hopefully I'm dead wrong and they do the exact opposite, but I guess we'll see.

And in one of the TLCme videos, I could have sworn there was an interview where Joy was asked where she saw herself in 5 years. She replied, "Lord willing married and a mother." She sounded genuine and quick to answer with that response. I for see MANY babies from Joy.

[actuallyjessica]

I have the same feeling about Joy and Austin. And it scares me that she is so young and could hit the double digits with only one pair of twins before she gets 30. 

I've always thought Joy would be the one to have a full brood and more than one set of twins.

There's been rumors of them getting married this month.

So let's have some scary speculation! Lets say she's pregnant by September 2017. But that feels generous... This kid is born by June 2018. She's pregnant again by Christmas, due in September 2019, with twins. The twins arrive a month early, in August.
At this point she's a little tired, so marital fellowship isn't as frequent at this point, but she's still pregnant by Valentine's Day 2020. This baby is born in October 2020, the month that Joy Joy celebrates her 23rd birthday, with her hypothetical 4 kids.

[lawlifelgbt]

I think it's wrong to speak badly to or shame thin or fat women- one of my coworkers now must be a size 0, and I would never assume she has a disorder or tell her to get away from me at the gym. 

 

That said, anti-fatness is a huge structural problem. Fat women especially make far less money and are less likely to get and keep well-paying jobs due on assumptions about professionalism and energy that people make due to their weight. Fat people's pain in medical contexts is given less care, many doctors feel disgust for them, and "lose weight" is considered a viable solution to many of their problems even where it wouldn't work. Fat people may have to pay more for health insurance or opt into body shaming workplace wellness to be able to afford insurance. They are more often harassed. Because society has a general structural bias towards thinness.

 

That's not the same as someone being mean and saying "eat a cheeseburger" or having to have your clothes tailored. My wife is fat and literally cannot find clothes that will cover her and she can afford and will last. No tailor will help that.

[SilverBeach]

19 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

 

Yeah, she pretty much nailed that look.

At least they are gazing at each other! I have no problem with that, me and Mr. SB, silly sixty-somethings that we are, do that sometimes. It's the one-way look of worshipful adoration the Duggar women have perfected that I find cult-like and plain old icky.

[Dubiousclaire]

Dangit! I got my ear buds out just so I could watch the vagina commercial, but I keep getting priceline and chevy. 

They do seem happy and comfortable with each other. They are plastered together, and swaying together and rubbing sides/shoulders, so maybe the courting rules are starting to slip. 

I still find it icky that they are getting married so young. I have a 19 year old daughter that just finished her first year of college, and has had a steady boyfriend for two years.  No way would I approve of a wedding...but on the other hand, she has the freedom to date or marry whomever she darn well pleases. 

[Nomorethanfour]

I thought they looked very comfortable together. The caressing, the swaying back and forth seemed natural for a first love. Does that mean she should get married now? No. I mean I was 19 when I got married, but I wasn't raised fundie and my dad didn't sell me off.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I only think Joy will wear pants for practical reasons. I don't think she would do it for fashion or rebellious reasons. She's seen Jinger wear shorts and pants and the world didn't end. If Austin gives her the go ahead, I bet she will wear shorts when doing work like helping him flip houses or working at the camp. I think she would still wear skirts all the rest of the time.