Joy and Austin: Getting Married is Too Much Work!

[zee_four]

On 5/3/2017 at 8:43 PM, purple_summer said:

Have you tried H&M? Some of their pants are cut small but you can find some cute non-frumpy pieces there. I have a similar issue- I'm not tall but I'm more hourglass shaped so finding pants etc that fit me is a mess. I'm not a teen (mid-20s) but I also don't really want to look "matronly". American Eagle and Charlotte Russe have good jeans in a variety of cuts and sizes. AE is higher quality but can get pricey, CR carries super small through plus sizes and higher rise options at a low-ish price point. Tops are a bit trickier, and I consider myself ~average~ size wise (c cup) so I'm probably not qualified to offer advice there lol. Kohl's is another good place to look. They're not the coolest place to shop but they have a lot of options and always have great sales.

I'm 6' 3" with an almost 40" inseam. The problem is I wear about a size 3 sometimes 1 or 5 depending on what it is. Tall Girl (a store originally out of Canada) is where I get all my jeans. Early 2000s high school boot cut style was hell. I hit 6' by middle school  and was even skinnier then. My mom would buy me womens clothes that were baggy but close to long enough. She sewed mostly everything but jeans too. Just thinking about shopping gives me flash backs of being made fun of for old lady shoes and flood water pants.

[Bad Wolf]

I can't get the video. Was Joy allowed to wear pants under her skirt? Camping and kayaking  sound like fun. Who else was there?

[marmalade]

They didn't say who else was there, and it was just the two of them in the video with Joy reminding us to watch Counting On at the end. 

eta: Just saw my new post count title! I've gone from Jill Duggar Dillard getting a mid-labor pedi to a Maxwell! Sweet! 

[HereticHick]

I also got the Vajingle commercial, thank you Rufus. Hope lots of 13 year old leghumpers have to watch it too.

[Nikedagain?]

1 hour ago, front hugs > duggs said:

The advert I had to watch to watch the TLC video was Maya Rudolph singing loudly about vaginas for seventh generation brand tampons and pads... I was dying!

YAAASSSSS!

This!

I kept imagining the pristine Duggar ears being exposed to Maya's Vagina Ballad. 

Couldn't have happened to a better show

 

IT WAS AWESOME!

[Jug Band Baby]

On 4/29/2017 at 9:32 AM, Carm_88 said:

I still love Jessa's dress; it may look like a prom dress but I still love it. Anna looks so sweet, it breaks my heart for her. She had no idea what her life would look like nearly 10 years later.  

My sympathy for her is lessened by how she turned away the chance to leave.  Her brother offered to take her and the children in and support them, and she chose to stay with the molester.

On 4/30/2017 at 0:35 AM, Captain Obvious said:

I think Jinger's was ordered directly from China via her bridal store so that's normally quicker - but again, not a cheap option. 

Oh no.  Her gown was custom-made by a lady in the US who says "A true designer has an eye and can size without measuring."  Uh, bullshit.

 http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2017/01/designing-jinger-duggars-wedding-dress_15.html

[Carm_88]

2 minutes ago, Jug Band Baby said:

My sympathy for her is lessened by how she turned away the chance to leave.  Her brother offered to take her and the children in and support them, and she chose to stay with the molester.

Mine isn't. She chose to stay because she is brainwashed into believing that she has to forgive Josh. Also, I doubt that the brother would be able to support Anna and her four kids for very long. It's not like she could have gotten a job that would pay her well with the type of education that she has. She would have been taking the kids from the family that they know and turning against everything tht she knows. It's not easy. 

[Jug Band Baby]

4 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Mine isn't. She chose to stay because she is brainwashed into believing that she has to forgive Josh. Also, I doubt that the brother would be able to support Anna and her four kids for very long. It's not like she could have gotten a job that would pay her well with the type of education that she has. She would have been taking the kids from the family that they know and turning against everything tht she knows. It's not easy. 

At some point, an adult has to be held responsible for their own choices.  If Josh molested their daughter and she stayed, would you blame brainwashing and excuse her?  I hope not.

She made the choice to stay.  She had an out that a lot of women would love to have.  Even if her brother couldn't support her until the end of time, she would qualify for social assistance programs, and unlike most women, if she were to have posted a GoFundMe for help with housing, she'd probably have gotten enough to buy a house in Arkansas.  If she chose to shun those things, that is still her choice, and she's responsible for those.  Women escape far worse situations with less help than offered to her.  So my sympathy ends when someone has a way to leave, but doesn't.  I don't pity her for her situation that she freely chose to stay in.

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, Jug Band Baby said:

At some point, an adult has to be held responsible for their own choices.  If Josh molested their daughter and she stayed, would you blame brainwashing and excuse her?  I hope not.

She made the choice to stay.  She had an out that a lot of women would love to have.  Even if her brother couldn't support her until the end of time, she would qualify for social assistance programs, and unlike most women, if she were to have posted a GoFundMe for help with housing, she'd probably have gotten enough to buy a house in Arkansas.  If she chose to shun those things, that is still her choice, and she's responsible for those.  Women escape far worse situations with less help than offered to her.  So my sympathy ends when someone has a way to leave, but doesn't.  I don't pity her for her situation that she freely chose to stay in.

As far as we know, Josh was not abusive to her or to their children. People stay with far shittier spouses and try to make far shittier marriages work, believe it or not. It's really easy to judge from the outside, but we have no idea what's going on behind closed doors, and no idea how we would act if we were her. Everyone thinks they'd be a hero and put their supposed self-respect ahead of everything else, and that everything would just magically work out for them, but reality usually isn't that neat.

[Carm_88]

3 minutes ago, Jug Band Baby said:

At some point, an adult has to be held responsible for their own choices.  If Josh molested their daughter and she stayed, would you blame brainwashing and excuse her?  I hope not.

She made the choice to stay.  She had an out that a lot of women would love to have.  Even if her brother couldn't support her until the end of time, she would qualify for social assistance programs, and unlike most women, if she were to have posted a GoFundMe for help with housing, she'd probably have gotten enough to buy a house in Arkansas.  If she chose to shun those things, that is still her choice, and she's responsible for those.  Women escape far worse situations with less help than offered to her.  So my sympathy ends when someone has a way to leave, but doesn't.  I don't pity her for her situation that she freely chose to stay in.

Josh has never been shown to molest children as an adult. 

Social Assistance? If you have read Escape by Carolyn Jessop, you would see how much social assistance Anna would get. Carolyn didn't have enough money to get by and she had 8 children, one who had special needs. Why would Anna Duggar be special? You don't think that JB would drag that custody hearing out? How much child support do you think Anna would get out of Josh? He really has nothing now. 

I don't think Anna would have gotten enough money to buy a house. Leg humpers wouldn't support her and though there would be many people cheering her on, very few would have actually reached into their pockets. Sure women escape far worst situations but plenty of women stay in far worst situations too. 

[Jug Band Baby]

On 4/30/2017 at 4:16 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

Josie will be in a sequined mini-dress at an Elvis-themed chapel in Vegas. A girl can dream.

I'll personally buy her dress if she does that.

Lengthen this about 16" all around, add a cowgirl had in a shade to match the belt and boots, and I think they'll look great.

[Jug Band Baby]

On 5/1/2017 at 4:27 PM, Four is Enough said:

I have never seen evidence that any of them can sew well enough to do other than mend. If you look at the blue bridesmaids dresses worn for Anna's wedding, they are the most complex sewing done, and some of them were clearly not clipped over bust seams, nor were they pressed very well. There were puckers at seamlines, and while not horrifying, they were very amateurish.

Use an iron on the seams...  That from skirt seam shouldn't be unpressed.

[Kelsey]

On 5/5/2017 at 2:00 PM, Four is Enough said:

I haven't tried Roamans for a while. When I did, it was all polyester, cheap, and garish looking. 

I don't care for their clothes but I do like their bras. The only ones that the straps do NOT slide off my shoulders, have boob muffin top or muffin side, and I find them comfortable. They are also the only place that I can find designs/color in my size. Torrid has my size but they are horribly uncomfortable (to me) and the bands are way too thick, IMO. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

21 hours ago, luxfilia said:

Snip

Our conversation went on, but it honestly just hurt my feelings that I am not truly welcome at a work activity that is free to all of us and good for team-building, simply because my body makes someone else uncomfortable. I don't even wear shorts or tank tops or anything that would show my body when I work out. I am extremely conscious of how others might feel, having had friends and family members of all different sizes and struggles of their own (not to mention my own body issues). 

It just made me sad.

It makes me sad too, I wouldn't have a problem going to the gym with a thin person if we were going to be "workout buddies" It would be great. I'm a big girl, and have been my whole adult life.  It is a shame that they couldn't see you for what you were offering, socializing with coworkers. 

I wish people would just think before they spoke. I was working out at a gym a good 15 years ago and a woman came up to me and said "I think it is great that someone like you is into working on making herself better" I know she meant it to be an encouragement, but to me it was humiliating. I felt like I was the fattest most disgusting thing in the world. I got off the machine I was on went to the bathroom and cried.  I got myself together and left and never went back I was too embarrassed.  People are stupid we should all just take a second to think about what is about to com out of our mouths. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

As far as we know, Josh was not abusive to her or to their children. People stay with far shittier spouses and try to make far shittier marriages work, believe it or not. It's really easy to judge from the outside, but we have no idea what's going on behind closed doors, and no idea how we would act if we were her. Everyone thinks they'd be a hero and put their supposed self-respect ahead of everything else, and that everything would just magically work out for them, but reality usually isn't that neat.

I was talking to a friend of mine about this, she's a huge feminist, well educated, working mom, over achiever she does it all.  Her husband cheated on her a few years ago, he travels a lot for business and is gone for weeks at a time.  I guess it was just something that happened he told her about it because he felt so bad about it, odds are she never would have found out about it other wise,  She wasn't sure what she was going to do for a while, but in the end stayed with him. They do a lot of work to keep their marriage going.  I have another friend who's husband cheated similar situation  only he didn't travel as much, but she left him, she is also a feminist, liberal , but she had been a SAHM for 10 years, she had no education beyond high school but took her too kids and moved in with her mom went back to school and got her degree last year and is working for a non profit women/youth service  it doesn't pay much so she' still with mom, her ex turned into a real dead beat rarely pays child support and his kids want nothing to do with him, she's had it pretty tough the last 5 years but she's managed but she only has 2 kids to care for I can't imagine doing this with 5 kids. 

[Jug Band Baby]

On 5/3/2017 at 11:57 AM, SassyPants said:

At which wedding did Gothard receive the birthday cake?

What the fuck?!

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 5/7/2017 at 2:51 PM, VelociRapture said:

I think I'll set my official guess for their wedding date as May 27th then. I'm probably wrong, but I also don't care either way. 

That is Memorial Day weekend isn't it.  It fits with the 3 month time line, and J&D will probably be back in the states soon, she's got to be getting close to if not in her 3rd trimester already airlines start getting really touchy about letting your on the plane as pregnant as Jill looks.  by her last photo, and drs say straight up not to fly after 36 weeks. But Jill is stupid and reckless so who know, but I can't see her missing Joy's wedding for anything. 

[mydoggoskeeper]

I think its happening this month.  Looking at the video, there is no way Jim Boob would let A get so handsy with Joy if a wedding was not imminent.  Also the fact that Joy mentioned that A has been helping out a lot makes me think that they are in the execution phase of wedding planning as I doubt a A would have much to do with early planning and deciding given how traditional the families are.  

[Jug Band Baby]

On 5/3/2017 at 9:05 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

And then there is the fat women's selection that screams 60+ with ugly prints, polyester stretch pants and unshapely everything.  I know I'm fat, I don't need to accentuate it with unflattering clothing. I like to be covered and comfortable, I don't like prints as a general rule, I like subtle designs, but prints are like colors everyone is different. Depending on the season I wear everything from black to baby pink. 

My motivation to kick my own ass into losing weight was when puff paints and goddamned plastic jewels were all over the plus stuff.  It was like a preschool class had been injected with sugar and set free with the crafting stuff.  I remember pulling the huge plastic gems off of a shirt I had so I'd only have the glitter glue instead of both.

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

before the bachelor/bachelorette video was posted, i was soooo hoping they'd wait til early July lol. a memorial day weekend wedding would put their engagement at just less than 3months :/ sigh. maybe as more duggar weddings occur and they gain more planning experience they think they can execute these things in less time. OR *wishful thinking* Joy-joy and her boo will have a more simple, practical, minimal-fluff wedding, lol. 

[Jug Band Baby]

On 5/5/2017 at 7:15 AM, Four is Enough said:

My beef with Old Navy is that things seem to fall apart very fast after they're brought home from the store. I like my trendy clothing to last at least until the next time that season rolls around, and with ON, it doesn't seem to happen for my kids. They, of course, have nothing that will fit me. We've given up going there.

But their pieces are for LAYERING!  Thin fabrics are a FEATURE!

On 5/5/2017 at 4:47 PM, Incognito22 said:

I am the only one that thinks it's weird to have a registry before setting a date?  Seems like an undeniable gift gab.  I know they probably had a date set that their friends know but if not it feels super shady.

Getting grabby is what Duggars know best, aside from sniffing their own farts while talking about how gawdly they are.

[elizasc]

What the fuck?!
 

Wasn't it at Erin Bates Paine's wedding (unless there's a Duggar story I'm forgetting?

[Jug Band Baby]

On 5/5/2017 at 6:57 PM, singsingsing said:

Also, @Cheetah I promise this isn't directed specifically at you, I just hate hate hate the term "real woman". What does that mean? Am I not a "real woman" because I don't weigh enough? Is my friend who's a size 0 an especially "fake" woman? If I gain 50 lbs, will I be a real woman then? Does Geppetto have to wish upon a star? I would love to be able to buy tops at my favourite clothing store, but unfortunately for me they now all seem to be cut in "real women's" sizes, meant to disguise an excess gut that I don't have, thus making me look like I'm wearing a sack or possibly 4 months pregnant. Not being plus sized doesn't mean you can automatically waltz into a store and have everything fit you off the rack, trust me. I wish, because I hate shopping!

I am also a 0 now, and the "real woman" thing pisses me off too.  When I was a plus woman, there were some jokes and snickers about fat people, but it was never really this open thing where anyone could go around calling fat women fake because a "real" woman wears a smaller size, yet there's a lot of high-fiving and praising now whenever someone disparages women who aren't plus-sized since only plus-sized women are "real women."

REAL real women are women who can build up a group of women without tearing down another group of women to do it.  If someone tears down a group to make another group feel better, then that person is a bitch.

Tommy Gunn got some stuff right, about how there needs to be more designs for larger women, but on the other end, there needs to be more too.  Almost everything that fits my size-0 waist won't fit my 30E (I'm a "specialty" bra size too!) chest or my 5'8"-height.  Larger women aren't the only people who can't find stuff that fits well.  Every single thing I own I've had to have altered except my jeans and a single nice dress.  T-shirts have to be altered.  Coats.  Dresses.  I have to buy based on alterability.  If I don't, they hang on me.  Even the smalls that fit my chest bag unflatteringly around my waist.  (A probably-unintended consequence of resizing so that medium fits the average is that smaller women literally end up with nothing to wear since all the sizes are getting larger, and no, it doesn't work to say "at least you can get into it" because nobody wants to wear things that are way too big, and not everyone can have stuff tailored down, which especially impacts poorer women.)  The only jeans I can find anywhere that are long enough in my size cost me $120 a pair.  That single nice dress is a frock I had to have custom, and was $800, and I've had it 5 years now.  I'm lucky I can spend that.   But I feel like shit spending so much to have things that fit well when some people ave nothing.

But yet I'm not a "real woman" because I'm not plus sized.  What about a high school friend of mine who has been looking for something to fit her size 2 body?  She still has the penis she was born with, and no jeans fit her without pain.   I guess she's really not real.  Not plus size, no vag.

Guess what.  Society was nicer to me when I was a fat woman, and that was before fat women were the only women who were called real, and that was before it was okay to disparage and mock skinny women.  Fuck this body-shaming and transphobic "real woman" bull shit.  

On 5/6/2017 at 10:02 AM, MargaretElliott said:

She'll post those things on facebook all the time, "real men like meat, only dogs like bones" and all that. And I just think maybe we shouldn't compare women to pieces of meat for the consumption of men, you know?

It's objectifying.  What if someone posted "real men like lean meat, only dogs like cuts of lard"?   Suddenly it's horrifying.

Both of those ways imply that there are men who aren't real men if the women they love aren't the designated body type.  My husband loved me as a fat woman, he loves me as a skinny woman, he loves me BECAUSE OF ME BEING WHO I AM.  He's real.  Last I checked, he'd still a breathing life form who isn't imaginary.

[Jug Band Baby]

On 5/6/2017 at 10:12 AM, singsingsing said:

I often hear women who wear plus sizes complaining about their lack of options, and I sympathize. But I've personally found that a lot of the more moderately priced clothing is now being cut in a way that looks a lot more flattering on plus sized women with completely different body shapes than I have, and if I want to find decent clothes that actually flatter my body type, I have to go to the more high end stores and spend more money. 

This is why my thicker friends can spend $20 at Old Navy, but I have to spend $120 elsewhere.  There's a presumption that, no matter the size, someone's going to be thicker in the waist compared to hips, so there's no waist.  And if you're a smaller number size, you must be short.  I can only find smaller-waist-to-hips jeans with a long enough inseam at a single specific store, and that store usually only carries 1 pair on each size under 12.  I had to drive a total of 3 hours last week when I needed a new pair.  Because of the cost, I kept mending a hole I wore in my now-old pair.  I feel like shit spending $120 on a single pair of jeans when I've got friends struggling to buy Old Navy.  I'm embarrassed.

[eveandadam]

39 minutes ago, elizasc said:

Wasn't it at Erin Bates Paine's wedding (unless there's a Duggar story I'm forgetting?

Yes, it was at Erin's and Chad's wedding. He also conducted Anna's and Josh's wedding and was really prominent there. Can you imagine? WTH?