Joy and Austin: Getting Married is Too Much Work!

[MargaretElliott]

14 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I just hate hate hate the term "real woman".

PREACH. I get a lot of shit from a certain cousin every thanksgiving because I'm small, and she is... not. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'd rather not be told to eat more by someone who suffers tons of health issues because of her weight, you know? She'll post those things on facebook all the time, "real men like meat, only dogs like bones" and all that. And I just think maybe we shouldn't compare women to pieces of meat for the consumption of men, you know? Real women are carbon-based life forms that identify as women. End of story.

On a related note, Marilyn Monroe was a size 12-16..... in the 40s-50s. Due to vanity sizing and the wonky clothing industry nowadays, she'd be a modern size 2-6. Her waist was 24-28 inches, depending on how much she weighed, which varied from 118 to the 130s later in her life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a modern size 16, but Marilyn Monroe was not one. So next time you see someone posting on facebook about it, feel free to give them the facts. And tell them they're beautiful regardless of random celebrities' sizes.

/endrant

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

I have had issues finding clothes due to being thinner, too. Pants and jeans are a problem because of women's clothes being proportioned length to size--if you are thin and taller or longer legged, it is difficult. Until some medication gave me an extra 20 lbs, I could not usually find long enough pants. 

That's basically my problem. I'm tall, and I have looooong legs, but a fairly short waist. The regular length pants are often too short, but the 'long' lengths assume you have a long waist as well. I've just resigned myself to wearing dress pants (for some reason I have better luck with jeans) that never fit quite right, because I can't be bothered to have things tailored. 

I often hear women who wear plus sizes complaining about their lack of options, and I sympathize. But I've personally found that a lot of the more moderately priced clothing is now being cut in a way that looks a lot more flattering on plus sized women with completely different body shapes than I have, and if I want to find decent clothes that actually flatter my body type, I have to go to the more high end stores and spend more money. 

@MargaretElliott That's the thing - why the fuck are we basing our worth on what men supposedly like, or what random celebrities look like?! If someone feels happy and sexy and confident with a BMI of 35, what the hell do I care? You do you. But please extend the same respect to me in return. If fat shaming is wrong, it's also not okay to mock, insult, belittle and judge slimmer women. Yes, I am slim. Whoop-dee-do. It's not an achievement and not something I take pride in. I'm also tall. I have nice lips. I have weird toes. I speak with a slight lisp. According to my hairdresser, I have a weird bald patch on one of my eyebrows. My hair is a nice colour. I'm pale and tend to look tired all the time. I have a nice smile. I have elegant hands. I have wide set eyes and a largeish nose. Who. Cares.

[Carm_88]

All my female friends struggle to find clothes that look and sit right, I have a large chest and a short torso; I'm just short at 5'3, who am I even kidding? The argument back and forth about which women are real women is ridiculous. We are all real and we are all special/beautiful in our way. We should be building each other up and not tearing each other down because of men. That is beyond ridiculous! 

[louisa05]

Short torso, long legs, small waist, wide hips. I have not owned a pair of dress pants that fit properly in my entire life--and I have never been larger than a size 8 and as small as a 2 (after a serious illness--that was too thin). I have concluded that outside of paying someone to custom make them, I never will. Thus, I despise dress pants. Jeans seem to come in more cuts that can work--mid rise jeans in a curvy fit usually work. The Jennifer Lopez line at Kohl's is great--I have two pairs of cropped jeans from that line that don't gap at the waist! Waist gaps have been part of my daily existence for life, so it is really exciting. But a lot of that line feels too young to me--with tons of embellishment on the butt or comes ripped or are all skinnies, so I can't find long jeans in it. Skinny jeans are not the best look for me because I am all hips in them. 

[General Jinjur]

19 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

All my female friends struggle to find clothes that look and sit right

*Snipped*

Absolutely. I haaaaate shopping for clothes. I think I look weird in anything other than jeans and t-shirts, but unfortunately I can't wear those to work. I've been trying to find myself a "uniform" of some type (à la this woman), but so far I've had no luck.

[ak1188]

I used to wish every day could be a toga party so I could just wrap myself in bedsheets and call myself dressed.  I'm so lucky that I have to wear scrubs to work and don't need to worry about the whole business casual look.  I'm 5'3 with a short torso, no hips, and a flat backside.  Slacks, sheath dresses, and tailored skirts all look ridiculous on me, which is too bad because I love a good sheath dress.

[feministxtian]

I have short legs, no butt, a PCOS gut, 38D boobs, broad shoulders...Maxi skirts and tops cover a multitude of evils. Oh and let's not forget the hobbit feet. 9 WIDE! 

Oh well, I am who I am, a carbon copy of my fireplug father (dad had no boobs tho). Drove the mother completely batshit crazy that I look nothing like her...dad's genes are STRONG! My kids favor me and my father, my grandkids do too. I also got his personality and sense of humor. (forceful and sarcastic as hell). Those traits also are dominant in the next 2 generations! 

 

[MadeItOut]

Now I understand an acquaintance's comment of 'but dress sizes have changed' when it came up that I'm within 4" of Marilyn's figure (1" larger bust, fractionally less in the waist, and 2" larger in the hips). ...when he said it I was left thinking 'now what's that to do with the price of eggs?' - now finally I know.

[luxfilia]

On the topic of getting away with saying negative things to smaller women: I've been at my job for a year, but am still getting to know people. I'm making an effort to participate more and be more social. 

Recently a coworker came up to me and a group of other women, asking us to take advantage of a new gym in town (it's no cost to employees were I work). She gave a speech about how you didn't have to be "fat" to join the pact, but that people who just want to become the "best you" they can be are welcome to become accountable to one another and go to the gym together on a regular basis. I was excited to become better friends with her and others, and to work on my strength. Our job is often quite physically demanding. 

I noticed she was looking at the other women, but never glanced at me.  After they responded, I spoke up more enthusiastically than they had, adding that I have been wanting to try the gym, but to have people to go with would be great! The woman proposing the idea (who is very curvy/overweight) immediately balked. "No offense, but I can't be working out next to a skinny chick like you." She was completely serious. She tried to explain herself and just dug a deeper and deeper hole. I don't even consider myself "skinny;" I'm out of shape, but not overweight. 

Our conversation went on, but it honestly just hurt my feelings that I am not truly welcome at a work activity that is free to all of us and good for team-building, simply because my body makes someone else uncomfortable. I don't even wear shorts or tank tops or anything that would show my body when I work out. I am extremely conscious of how others might feel, having had friends and family members of all different sizes and struggles of their own (not to mention my own body issues). 

It just made me sad.

[Yes, TOTALLY]

^ I have experienced something similar at work--I am not skinny, just average sized (higher end of a healthy BMI) but I have crohn's disease and as a result there's a lot of things I can't eat and I don't have much of an appetite a lot of the time.  People at work (especially the larger ladies) often say that they wish they had a sickness like mine because it obviously helps me keep my weight in check.  I find it really upsetting because my life is so much harder as a result of this illness and they reduce it to 'at least you're slim though LOLZ'.  I'd much rather be big and healthy than slim and chronically ill. 

[FloraKitty35]

I'm 5'7 and I carry most of my weight in my upper body.  I also have very broad shoulders and no hips.  So, my bottoms are anywhere to 2 to 4 sizes smaller than the tops.

[nastyhobbitses]

I'm under five feet and got the Russian peasant build from my dad's side, which means that when I eat right and exercise a lot, I'm super petite but crazy muscular, and I get doughy and stout (but still fairly small -- at my heaviest I was a size 6 and now I'm a 0-4 depending on the manufacturer because sizing is weird) if I don't. I've always been ridiculously insecure about my weight, though it helps that I ended up with pretty big boobs that held up despite my 20 pound weight loss last year (and then I gained 10 back this year because sedentary job and more of a social life...oops).

I love to exercise and eat/cook healthy food, and I am pretty healthy, but I've never truly felt good about how I look. I try to tell myself that looks don't matter, but I practically started crying when I realized that I'd popped a seam on a dress. It's easily fixable and the dress fits fine, but that little hole is a reminder that I can't eat carbs anymore unless I want my giant flabby ass to ruin all of my nice clothes.

[singsingsing]

I never eat treats at work, because I have a nut allergy and I can't tell if the treats are 'safe'. I just started a new job and it hasn't been an issue so far, but I'm definitely awaiting the, "Come on, have one!" "You don't need to diet!" "Look at you, one cookie isn't going to kill you!" comments. I mean, first of all, technically one cookie could kill me if it has something I'm allergic to in it. Extremely, extremely unlikely (I've never had a serious reaction and I always carry an EpiPen just in case), but still - I'd rather not break out in hives, throw up on you, or just be worried for the rest of the day that I'm going to have a reaction, you know? It's really not worth it for that one dubious cookie from the grocery store bakery.

People often have restricted diets due to medical reasons that they might not be enthusiast about broadcasting to the entire office, and I wish people would take that into account and stop nagging, pressuring, and guilting anyone who doesn't want a piece of cake. And I mean, maybe they just don't want a piece of a cake. It's none of your business. Let them not eat cake.

[WiseGirl]

Preach! Here's to all of us who can't eat the office foods. I have Celiac and a shellfish allergy, so I'll  just eat what I bring or from the vegetable tray with identifiable vegetables. I've learned to pass on salads because often fun extras are tossed into a them. 

[singsingsing]

2 minutes ago, WiseGirl said:

Preach! Here's to all of us who can't eat the office foods. I have Celiac and a shellfish allergy, so I'll  just eat what I bring or from the vegetable tray with identifiable vegetables. I've learned to pass on salads because often fun extras are tossed into a them. 

Ugh, you got the double whammy. 

My favourite was my poor friend's mother... she knew I couldn't eat cheese (not an allergy, but an intensely strong aversion). So one day we were all hanging out at her house, and this other girl brought little vegan cheesecakes. She said, "They're made with cashews!" My friend's mother was delighted, but I had to say, "I'm sorry, I can't eat it." She said, "But it has no dairy!" And I said, "I'm allergic to cashews." I felt a bit bad, but it was kind of hilarious, too, because they replaced one thing I can't eat with basically the only other thing on earth that I also can't eat.

[louisa05]

At my last full time job, a manipulative, gossiping childish co-worker who was also a very large person, started a rumor among the students that I had an eating disorder because I was thin. Eventually, after parents called to express concern about my worthiness as a role model for teen girls, having an eating disorder and all, I was called into the principal's office and ordered to seek treatment. 

I did not then nor have I ever had an eating disorder. I informed the principal as such and also informed him of the source of the rumors. The woman had also informed me not long before that, in front of students, that I would never date or marry "because no man wants to fuck a bag of bones". I told the principal about that incident as well. He conceded that perhaps I did not have an eating disorder, but also refused to call in the other teacher about her behavior because since she was bigger, it would hurt her feelings to discuss the matter. 

 

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

10 hours ago, Yes, TOTALLY said:

^ I have experienced something similar at work--I am not skinny, just average sized (higher end of a healthy BMI) but I have crohn's disease and as a result there's a lot of things I can't eat and I don't have much of an appetite a lot of the time.  People at work (especially the larger ladies) often say that they wish they had a sickness like mine because it obviously helps me keep my weight in check.  I find it really upsetting because my life is so much harder as a result of this illness and they reduce it to 'at least you're slim though LOLZ'.  I'd much rather be big and healthy than slim and chronically ill. 

Wow, what an incredibly stupid thing to say. I had a BF with CD and he was suffering a lot. I wish you all the best and hope for a looong remission for you

[eleanora3]

Joy and Austin's combined bachelor/bachelorette party was this weekend, so the wedding must be coming up soon...

[Pasta]

Were there pictures?

[eleanora3]

1 minute ago, Pasta said:

Were there pictures?

TLC posted this video: http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/get-the-details-on-joy-and-austins-joint-bachelorette-and-bachelor-party/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=countingontlc&utm_medium=social&utm_content=DCIobj+-+Short+Form&sf76951174=1 

[VelociRapture]

On 5/7/2017 at 6:03 AM, singsingsing said:

Ugh, you got the double whammy. 

My favourite was my poor friend's mother... she knew I couldn't eat cheese (not an allergy, but an intensely strong aversion). So one day we were all hanging out at her house, and this other girl brought little vegan cheesecakes. She said, "They're made with cashews!" My friend's mother was delighted, but I had to say, "I'm sorry, I can't eat it." She said, "But it has no dairy!" And I said, "I'm allergic to cashews." I felt a bit bad, but it was kind of hilarious, too, because they replaced one thing I can't eat with basically the only other thing on earth that I also can't eat.

Aww!!! That's really nice that they tried. Would have been great if you were able to eat it, but I always like seeing stories about people trying to be cautious about food allergies.

@louisa05That woman sounds like an insecure hag. What kind of asshole spreads rumors like that?!

On 5/7/2017 at 2:42 PM, eleanora3 said:

TLC posted this video: http://www.tlc.com/tlcme/get-the-details-on-joy-and-austins-joint-bachelorette-and-bachelor-party/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=countingontlc&utm_medium=social&utm_content=DCIobj+-+Short+Form&sf76951174=1 

I think I'll set my official guess for their wedding date as May 27th then. I'm probably wrong, but I also don't care either way. 

[Karma]

Ugh, she's got the adoring look down pat.  They do seem very happy together.  I hope that lasts, because they're stuck with each other.

[VelociRapture]

On 5/7/2017 at 2:51 PM, Karma said:

Ugh, she's got the adoring look down pat.  They do seem very happy together.  I hope that lasts, because they're stuck with each other.

Yeah, she pretty much nailed that look.

She looks really nice and pretty relaxed in the video though. And I'm glad their joint celebration was something they both enjoyed and participated in - I'm looking at you Benessa! 

(I'm assuming they both participated. I muted the video because I don't want my innocent kid exposed to their ridiculousness when she's so young.)

 

[front hugs > duggs]

The advert I had to watch to watch the TLC video was Maya Rudolph singing loudly about vaginas for seventh generation brand tampons and pads... I was dying! Lol, but they looked cute in the video - I noticed Austin's fingers kind of rubbing Joy's shoulder which looked sweet.

I think  Joy is naturally really pretty- I really hope they don't lather her up in make up for the wedding in a way that she doesn't resemble herself anymore.

[marmalade]

On 5/7/2017 at 3:03 PM, VelociRapture said:

She looks really nice and pretty relaxed in the video though. And I'm glad their joint celebration was something they both enjoyed and participated in - I'm looking at you Benessa! 

(I'm assuming they both participated. I muted the video because I don't want my innocent kid exposed to their ridiculousness when she's so young.)

Joy said it was her first time camping. eta: I assume she means camping in a tent rather than at a RV park or Big Sandy. 

On 5/7/2017 at 3:12 PM, front hugs > duggs said:

The advert I had to watch to watch the TLC video was Maya Rudolph singing loudly about vaginas for seventh generation brand tampons and pads... I was dying! Lol, but they looked cute in the video - I noticed Austin's fingers kind of rubbing Joy's shoulder which looked sweet.

 

I got My Vajingle as well. I hope all the leghumpers have to listen to that to get to the video.