Blackjack Bateses! - Bates 21

[MsSaylor]

We havent seen much of Evan on the show yet and i know next to nothing about him but I get an off feeling. I think Carlin is immature too but this guy seems to have no substance or real personality or thoughts. I think Carlin is sort of too good for him or something. I dont know, its weird. 

[Tangy Bee]

1 hour ago, MsSaylor said:

We havent seen much of Evan on the show yet and i know next to nothing about him but I get an off feeling. I think Carlin is immature too but this guy seems to have no substance or real personality or thoughts. I think Carlin is sort of too good for him or something. I dont know, its weird. 

I just think he looks "pretty" like a girl. His just has a girly face. I just can't get over that for some reason. And because of this...I don't find him attractive. Maybe when I hear him talk or see how he carries himself, I'll have a change of heart.

[Lulu22du]

We havent seen much of Evan on the show yet and i know next to nothing about him but I get an off feeling. I think Carlin is immature too but this guy seems to have no substance or real personality or thoughts. I think Carlin is sort of too good for him or something. I dont know, its weird. 

I got a weird feeling about him when Kelly Bates was saying Carlin and him have trouble understanding each other. I think she said sometimes Carlin says things that unintentionally offends him.
That's not good if they're already having compatibility issues.
It's totally obvious this guy loves attention which is why I believe he's only with Carlin to get on TV.

[Italiangirl]

He weeks to be a 14 yo who tra hard to inpress an oltre girl that he likes. I don't know, i can't find him attractive and if they are really already having compatibility issue is really sad and dangerous. Hope for the best but i just don't know 

[HarleyQuinn]

Every since someone here shared that Beiber wannabe photo of him, I can't see him as anything but a famewhore.  

[VelociRapture]

On 5/30/2017 at 4:39 PM, Exjw2015deed said:

 

The bates since, with the exception of Alyssa and Zach, waited way longer than the duggars and other fundie royalty. Only Jessa really was with ben for at least a year before they got married. 

As far as I recall...

(numbers are approximate length of courtship and engagement; I rounded to the nearest whole number):

SmugAnna - not sure, 3 months

Cherin - 7 months, 3 months

Zachney - 3 months, 3 months

JoLyssa - 2 months, 4 months

The Dills - 4 months, 3 months

Benessa - 11 months, 3 months

The Keilens - 16 months, 4 months

JinJer - 2 months, 4 months

JoStin - 5 months, 3 months

JoKen - 3 months, TBD

I would say that the Keilens are definitely an outlier. Only couple who comes close at this point is Benessa - and there's still a six month difference there. 

I want to say BoRi (Bobby and Tori) started courting October/November of 2016. I know it was during a school break when she went to see him. So they've been courting somewhere around seven months now. Tori finishes her degree next May and wants to wait for marriage until that point... but who knows if that'll happen. If it does they'll hit somewhere around 18 months total.

I don't see CarVan (Carlin and Evan) waiting that long to be honest. They might, but I think they'll be married before BoRi.

[neurogirl]

WHA????? I KNEW the fundies dated for a super short time before tying the knot. I knew this. And yet seeing this list of the Duggars is about giving me heart palpitations. 3 months???? That's like...one semester of college. HOW can they possibly think they know everything about each other in 3 months???? I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years now and we didn't start talking about engagement until last year. They are like schoolchildren having a "boyfriend" and "getting married" until its REAL and they have 3 kids faster than they can say boo! At least the Bates do have a lengthy "getting to know you" phase.

I also think Carlin will be married (but def engaged) before Tori. And Evan doesn't bother me more than other fundie men. I think he's got the pretty boy look, but so do so many of them. And Carlin likes the spotlight too. I think they will be fame-whory together and maybe one of those "passionate" couples that fight a lot but still love each other. Or they aren't compatible. Too bad they won't have the option to find out!!

[GreyhoundFan]

2 hours ago, neurogirl said:

WHA????? I KNEW the fundies dated for a super short time before tying the knot. I knew this. And yet seeing this list of the Duggars is about giving me heart palpitations. 3 months???? That's like...one semester of college. HOW can they possibly think they know everything about each other in 3 months???? I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years now and we didn't start talking about engagement until last year. They are like schoolchildren having a "boyfriend" and "getting married" until its REAL and they have 3 kids faster than they can say boo! At least the Bates do have a lengthy "getting to know you" phase.

snip

Remember, @neurogirl, fundies marry their "best friend". It doesn't matter that they don't know what color underwear their intended likes to wear, it only matters that God told her daddy that this was the right mate/breeding partner.

One of the many things I think is sad is that, like many teenaged girls, once they have purposed to be a joyful courting partner, the guy becomes 100% to them and they pretty much ditch their sisters and female friends. My BFF and I have been friends for 30+ years and she has been married 25 of them. Even though she loves her husband, she and I talk and get together frequently for dinner, concerts, museum trips, etc. It's important to nurture multiple types of friendships, but in the fundie world, the only friend who matters is the spouse.

[VelociRapture]

@neurogirlBoth families have "getting to know you" periods as well. How long that lasts isn't always known. Some couples are quieter about it than others are.

- The Dills really started talking around August 2013. So total time is closer to 10 months.

- Benessa began talking sometime between November 2012 and May 2013 - though, based off a post Ben made on their blog - they started talking closer to May. Total time close to 17+ months.

- JinJer seem to have started talking sometime in the fall of 2015. Jeremy asked for permission to get to know her better December 11 of that year. So that bumps them up to almost 11 months total.

- JoStin claim to have known each other for 15 years. No clue how long they may have really spent getting to know each other. But I do think it's safe to say they likely knew each other relatively well. 

- SmugAnna met for the first time at an ATI Conference in 2006. I checked their old website on the Wayback Machine. Josh states there that they began courting December 2007. So their relationship was at least 9 months total, not counting a getting to know you period.

Spoiler

Screenshot from SmugAnna's website:

 

[Coconut Flan]

11 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

- JinJer seem to have started talking sometime in the fall of 2015. J

They first met in spring of 2015 and seemed to come to a decision that they really did like/love each other in December 2015.  Jeremy went on the "mission trip" so they'd have more time together to I guess make sure.  If we can believe at least some of what the Duggars say and read between the lines.

[Kangaroo]

I find it really interesting that of all the couple's listen earlier, The Keilen's appear to have had the longest formal relationship, have known each other for quite a long period before courting, and after nearly 2 years of marriage still have no child (Not out of choice I know, just stating a fact). I think Michaela and Brandon were both a bit older when they married (25/26 from memory?) as well.

I just find it striking that their relationship seems the least rushed and forced compared to some of the others. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with short relationships before marriage (I know a few people that got married quite fast after meeting and they've had long and happy relationships together), but knowing these people are treated as children until marriage and are denied normal experiences and opportunities, I hope that Michaela's slower pace has a positive influence on her family and nobody is forced into a relationship that didn't suit them.

[JordynDarby5]

Michael and Brandon's long courtship had to do with Brandon being involved in some program or something that he wasn't allowed to become engaged until after he finished it? Didn't Michael also make comments about how she liked Brandon for years? During their courtship Michael came off like she was waiting for Brandon all this time and really, really into Brandon. He never really came off like he was into Michael as much as she was into him.

[ladybug15]

Just a different perspective. If you talk to your grandparents, oftentimes they also courted and were engaged for a short time, and married within a year of meeting each other. So if you consider the fact that these families are raising their kids the "old fashioned" way it really is not that surprising. It is just weird for us where the "rules" changed. Instead you have more couples who live together maybe a month after they met. In my eyes it is almost the same, but the "outer rules and layers are different"

[eleanora3]

Alyssa stands up for her big bows:

[VelociRapture]

13 minutes ago, eleanora3 said:

Alyssa stands up for her big bows:

I've made my thoughts on the bows clear and I agree with that poster. But it's kind of ridiculous when their fans focus on stuff like that and comment to them about it. You take issue with a fucking bow, but you're totes cool with this family promoting a harmful cult? 

Good for Alyssa. She has every right to dress herself and her kids as she chooses. 

[SuhrEnity]

17 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I don't see CarVan (Carlin and Evan) waiting that long to be honest. They might, but I think they'll be married before BoRi.

They are far too teenage hormoney horny to wait. Those hormones will get them in trouble if they wait too long.

To Alyssa's reply, good for her standing up for herself. Plus it's likely the only choice they get to make for themselves on a daily basis. What colour bow to adorn their crotch fruit with

[RosyDaisy]

Alyssa can fuck off. This is what she gets for putting her kids on display.

[VelociRapture]

10 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

Alyssa can fuck off. This is what she gets for putting her kids on display.

Is it bad I agree with this and with what I originally commented? I feel like that's bad. I can't even figure out how I'm rationalizing this. 

[nickelodeon]

Evan has some Baby Zoolander thing going on in all his insta photos.

And is "classy guys belt their pants just under their nipples" the male fundie version of "modest is hottest"? (With bonus shitty implications...)

[JMO]

On 5/31/2017 at 2:36 AM, Lulu22du said:

I got a weird feeling about him when Kelly Bates was saying Carlin and him have trouble understanding each other. I think she said sometimes Carlin says things that unintentionally offends him.

When did she say this? Was in on the show? I don't remember it. 

[SuhrEnity]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

Is it bad I agree with this and with what I originally commented? I feel like that's bad. I can't even figure out how I'm rationalizing this. 

No cause I feel the same way lol. Holy conflicted

[JMO]

Someone asked about Bobby's courtship proposal. I'll admit that I tried to watch that episode twice and both times I got to the end and didn't understand what if anything happened. Most of the episode was him enlisting her sibs to decorate the guest house on the beach that they were all staying in. And there was something about donuts. Weird. So it was a lot of set up but not particularly romantic. BUT definitely more effort than Smuggars rained out proposal and less than Nathan's courtship proposal. 

[nickelodeon]

2 hours ago, eleanora3 said:

Alyssa stands up for her big bows:

Cool that she's standing up for herself. At the same time, kinda weird to see her talking about a woman's right to make choices about her family, given...... uh..... her whole life...

[SuhrEnity]

36 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Kinda weird to see her talking about a woman's right to make choices about her family, given...... uh..... her whole life...

I think that's where the conflicting feelings come in cause are you for women making choices or aren't you?

[Screamapillar]

I think it's funny because the person didn't even say anything particularly rude about the stupid bows, just that she didn't love them. And Alyssa comes back with "my child, my choice!" with the passion of someone defending anti-vaxxing or something.