Duggars by the Dozen 26 - Double Baked Duggars

[Timetostoplurking]

This is not really on the current topic but..... What is the number 1 thing you hate the most about the duggars and the Gothard belief system?  I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  Why do I dislike them sooooo much?  If I had to pick one thing, it would be......drum roll......Victim blaming!!!   That is the absolute worst.    If they want to keep kids ignorant, marry them off young, believe in a 6000 year old earth (that one just makes me laugh) that's bad enough.  But blaming girls/women for pretty much everything?  Ugh!!!  I hate that!

I think we sometimes lose sight of that when we pick apart their clothes, hair, makeup,cupcakes in broken glass...whether or not Spurgeon is cute.....whatever.  But the way the girls/women are treated...?? ..Awful!!  

[feministxtian]

4 hours ago, Timetostoplurking said:

What is the number 1 thing you hate the most about the duggars and the Gothard belief system?

Keeping the children ignorant and giving them a half-assed education.Stifling their intellectual curiosity, removing any chance for success. Not allowing them to develop their minds, to educate themselves to the fullest extent possible. 

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

15 hours ago, sansan said:

Oh dear, I'm afraid I did not know I was so back woods ignorant. I have been a wife for 44 years and 10 months and have been blissfully happy to be called that every time. Back in the day before I became more knowledgeable about the fundie world being a wife meant a married women, plain and simple. A wife can be a doctor, a teachers bus driver, the possibilities are endless and for some reason that has now changed?  The word "wifey" is not really condescending to me but maybe a little silly. Jessa is calling herself Wifey not calling anyone else that. It is just not a big enough thing to get indigestion over. I personally never liked t-shirts and skirts together but then again, I'm not the one wearing it. 

@sansan,  I'm a little confused by your post.  My post was replying to someone who  specifically asked me to explain my negative  opinion about the word, "wifey" (not the word, "wife".)

What I said was simply the things that I PERSONALLY think of when I hear the word wifey.   I thought I made it pretty clear that I DO understand that other people have different opinions about the word and that, far from getting indigestion over it, I have no problem with differing opinions at all.  Obviously I wasn't clear enough!

I actually agree with you about the word, "wife" having positive connotations with endless possibilities.  I just don't understand why you think my post was attacking that opinion, and I sure as hell wasn't calling anyone backwoods ignorant.  

 

[Mela99]

9 hours ago, Timetostoplurking said:

This is not really on the current topic but..... What is the number 1 thing you hate the most about the duggars and the Gothard belief system?  I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  Why do I dislike them sooooo much?  If I had to pick one thing, it would be......drum roll......Victim blaming!!!   That is the absolute worst.    If they want to keep kids ignorant, marry them off young, believe in a 6000 year old earth (that one just makes me laugh) that's bad enough.  But blaming girls/women for pretty much everything?  Ugh!!!  I hate that!

I think we sometimes lose sight of that when we pick apart their clothes, hair, makeup,cupcakes in broken glass...whether or not Spurgeon is cute.....whatever.  But the way the girls/women are treated...?? ..Awful!!  

They're judgmental, hypocritical, holier-than-thou, women demeaning, uneducated, Trump humping twat waffles with about as much fashion sense as the love child of Laura Ingalls Wilder and an 80s clown. 

[Four is Enough]

the worst thing? The squashing of educating and inquiry.

[RosyDaisy]

The whole system is bad. There's not just one thing.

[mstee]

There's nothing really positive about their belief system. If I had to pick a negative thing that bothers me the most, I'd pick their "cheerfully instantly obey" training. They are "training" their kids to lack critical thinking skills. Even basic decision making skills. How can you raise your kid to be a productive adult if they have deferred to you, without questions, their whole life?  Sure, making kids instantly obey makes for easier parenting, but that's not what being a parent is about. 

Im also not wild about their treatment of animals. (And women. And kids.) 

[Carm_88]

I hate how every person has to fit neatly into their gendered box. Boys have to like certain things and girls have to like certain things. Joy was a tomboy but as she got older, she had to stop that and go hang out with the older girls, be interested in hair, makeup, fashion, and babies. 

[calimojo]

Wifey or Hubby by themselves are just words.  But I have yet to see a man walking around with a t shirt that says "hubby' on it.

The point here is that in Jessa's world,  Wifey connotates an achievement.  Most of us don't see becoming a wife an achievement like we would say getting an advanced degree, or a new job, or a promotion. 

Nothing wrong with being a wife, or course.  But for Jessa she has only been taught to expect wife /mother as her crowning achievements.  So , it feels sad for us to see that Jessa has nothing much else to look forward to other than continuing to pop out kids and being wifey.    Jessa is a pretty bright person.  Not well educated, but she had potential.  And, it feels sad that she won't really reach for other goals.

And, here is the thing  if she had been raised to have choices and she chose to be wifey and mommy, then that is wonderful.  But she was never given those options.  She was told,  this is what you are.  I doubt they ever even discuss the concept of 'who' you are, just what you are.  You are a woman, so you will learn to be domestic, you will hope to marry a godly man, and you will have babies.  That is the station and role you have in life.  And if you think you have other roles, that is dangerous.  Maybe before you have babies, you can do other things.  But once you give birth, you have now reached your highest calling, so empty your female brain of any other aspirations.

[Hisey]

The number one thing I hate is the concept of submission. I think that is incredibly dangerous and demeaning. In an abusive household, it can be deadly. It pretty much totally disempowers the wife.

I suppose in the hands of a kind, good-natured man, submission can be OK. You know he's never going to  expect anything that's bad. But in the hands of a damaged man, it can make a family miserable.

[Dandruff]

They remind me of a corrupt government or royal family attempting to impose their way onto everyone around them - projecting virtue while living amidst hypocrisy, and always, ultimately, serving themselves.

[patsymae]

"They're judgmental, hypocritical, holier-than-thou, women demeaning, uneducated, Trump humping twat waffles with about as much fashion sense as the love child of Laura Ingalls Wilder and an 80s clown. "

 

Think you said it all.

[SassyPants]

13 hours ago, mstee said:

There's nothing really positive about their belief system. If I had to pick a negative thing that bothers me the most, I'd pick their "cheerfully instantly obey" training. They are "training" their kids to lack critical thinking skills. Even basic decision making skills. How can you raise your kid to be a productive adult if they have deferred to you, without questions, their whole life?  Sure, making kids instantly obey makes for easier parenting, but that's not what being a parent is about. 

Im also not wild about their treatment of animals. (And women. And kids.) 

The only thing that is a positive about the killing of critical thinking is that it will cause the the cult to more quickly end. Limited , lazy, entitled people cannot sustain a cult.

[sndral]

Their world is black and white, no shades of grey. They are ruled by superstition and magical thinking. They believe it is their duty to impose their irrational superstitions onto the rest of the world.

But I think what personally bugs me the most is that they advocate having as many offspring as they physically can, disregarding the very real negative impact Homo sapien over population is having on every other species on the planet.

[sansan]

On 4/15/2017 at 2:47 PM, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

I actually agree with you about the word, "wife" having positive connotations with endless possibilities.  I just don't understand why you think my post was attacking that opinion, and I sure as hell wasn't calling anyone backwoods ignorant.  

Most definitely did not mean any offense. Your statement was kinda the closest  to the subject that I was speaking of. You are correct about the word wifey, for me (my opinion only) it is silly and if my husband called me that in front of anyone else I would give him an ice stare to be sure and that is not a name he would call me in private for sure.  So many posters make me feel that the word wife is distasteful. Yes, I am his wife but he knows all the other things I am and appreciates it. Again, truly no offense directed your way.

 

[nastyhobbitses]

Besides the intellectual stunting of children, I really hate the smug superiority that only further exposes their hypocrisy:

"We believe strongly in accountability and raising our children to have moral rectitude!" *Children are never allowed to be alone, make decisions for themselves, or choose what content they read or watch*

"Homeschooling keeps our kids away from dangerous peer pressure!" *Daughters talk openly about dieting to stay pretty and thin*

"Our way of doing courtship protects our children's hearts from corruption and heartbreak and makes for godly marriages!" *Oldest (child molesting) son repeatedly cheats on his wife, daughters immediately become smitten to the point of losing object permanence when an unrelated man pays attention to them*

"We live within our means and teach our children the value of a dollar!" *Multimillionaires from real estate investment and reality TV, children do not have real jobs (or skills to get them)*

[front hugs > duggs]

2 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

"We believe strongly in accountability and raising our children to have moral rectitude!" *Children are never allowed to be alone, make decisions for themselves, or choose what content they read or watch*

Don't they say they home school so the kids can learn real world skills to help them in their respective futures? I mean, I guess learning construction on building the TTH will help them build their own individual TTH's on JB's property. But they don't really have futures right? Ugh, how I wish that wasn't true.

[singsingsing]

I think the thing that bothers me the most about the Duggars is the willful suffocation of their children's independence, personalities, and prospects. The TTH is basically a conveyor belt popping out young adults incapable of emotional insight or critical thought, trained to instantly obey authority, to never complain, to blame themselves for everything and to make excuses for perpetrators, to fear and despise anyone sufficiently different from them, to take pride in ignorance, to eschew education, and to assume that they are God's chosen few and are deserving of any and all #blessings because of that.

Jim Bob and Michelle have created a bizarro world in which their children ( all of their children - even Josh was a fairly young teenager when they started filming) believe that they have been specially singled out and called by God himself to be the stars of a reality TV show - that being famous and setting an example for the less worthy is their holy ministry and their divine purpose on earth. The younger kids have never known a life that didn't involve being regularly filmed and exposed to the editing of TLC and the judgement of the world. Jim Bob, in his ambition to be the king of his own little fiefdom, has actively and consistently discouraged independence in his children. I wonder who he's grooming to run his empire once he's gone/too old to keep up? Surely not Josh. John-David is a bit of an enigma. Maybe Joe?

[HereticHick]

10 hours ago, sansan said:

  So many posters make me feel that the word wife is distasteful. Yes, I am his wife but he knows all the other things I am and appreciates it. Again, truly no offense directed your way.

 

I certainly never said the word "wife" is distasteful. I am a wife, full stop.  What I personally find distasteful is wearing a tshirt advertising my marital status. I think "single" tshirts are tacky too. Actually, I think many messages on tshirts are tacky. I'm a curmugeon that way.

[Four is Enough]

3 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

  What I personally find distasteful is wearing a tshirt advertising my marital status. I think "single" tshirts are tacky too. Actually, I think many messages on tshirts are tacky. I'm a curmugeon that way.

Amen, Hallelujah! WHY does someone need to advertise, "I'm with Stupid" or "Available" or "F You, F Me, F Everybody"? as I have seen on T shirts? UGH. I realized that advertising on T shirts while having a 44D bust might have been a bad idea when I bought the concert T shirt for the Billy Joel/Elton John tour.. the one with their faces on the shirt.... Yeah. Their eyes hit on my boobs. I only wore that shirt one time..

[Pasta]

I love t-shirts words or otherwise.  It's mostly what I wear.  

[NakedKnees]

I love shirts with words, the word "wifey" bugs me but so does "hubby," so to each their own.

It takes a really acute sense of style to pull of T shirts with skirts, in my opinion. Sometimes I think the Duggar kidults are successful with that, sometimes not (although if Jessa is going to speak on modest style, I'm going to be paying attention to this... sorry not sorry ).

What bothers me most about the Duggars is their insensitivity to viewers who may try to imitate their ways of life... like having an over-the-top number of kids, providing sub-par education, downplaying molestation, etc. If you're going to be on TV, "We never said we were perfect" isn't good enough. It should be more like "Look, this is very difficult and works for us because we got lucky, but please put a lot of thought into it before you approach life and religion this way." Never going to happen, of course.

That and the oppression of women, LGBTIQ+ people, etc.

[melon]

3 hours ago, HereticHick said:

I certainly never said the word "wife" is distasteful. I am a wife, full stop.  What I personally find distasteful is wearing a tshirt advertising my marital status. I think "single" tshirts are tacky too. Actually, I think many messages on tshirts are tacky. I'm a curmugeon that way.

I don't care for tshirts with messages.I am an introvert.I don't like it when people read my shirt,or the focus on my 38Ds.

I have a shirt and it's the outline of the state Maine,I friends there,they sent me a shirt.The shirt has the outline of Maine and says "It's all about ME!"I went to the store,and a woman read my shirt and asked if I had been to Maine told me she like my shirt.I was polite.Again,as a lifelong introvert,I don't like being the center of attention.I am mistaken for being snobbish.I don't mean to seem that way/

Mr.Melon thinks it's amusing.The tshirt...."It's all about ME".

[MoonFace]

Jinger's outfit (the pants and shirt) pretty much quashes the "Is she pregnant?"

Doesn't look like she is hiding anything. 

I wonder how she felt going out in public in pants for the first time?    And how her parents reacted?   

Must be she got 'permission' from her headship.    

[Hmmm_idolatry]

On 4/15/2017 at 10:03 AM, Timetostoplurking said:

This is not really on the current topic but..... What is the number 1 thing you hate the most about the duggars and the Gothard belief system?  

I hate everything about the Gothard belief system.  In fact, I can't think of any positives.  For me, the most horrible thing of all is the oppression, misogyny, and abusive beliefs regarding women.  I don't buy that "as Christ loved the church" bullshit.  To me, this is just straight up dehumanization of women.  It's the absolute root of all evil within that belief system.