Counting On: Season 3, Part 4: Fake Glares to Hide the Obvious

[lumpentheologie]

Thanks for this, @Galbin. I always like learning about new ways of personality typing too.  I'm 69% director and 60% negotiator.  Also 50% explorer and 14% builder.  I wish the website would tell you about the other personality types besides your first two, especially since my top three are pretty close together. 

With your info I'm pretty sure my partner is a strongly a Negotiator and partially an Explorer.  In MBTI I'm an INTP and he's an INFJ.  We get along really well, and it's true that I do the vast majority of the directing.   I'm one of the people who would choose Ben over Jeremy in a heartbeat if I were forced to marry one of them. 

[Fun Undies]

35 minutes ago, Galbin said:

I am 95% negotiator and 83% builder. Interestingly, I am 18% Director but 0% Explorer. Explorers wreck my head, so that would explain it.

Lol ~ I took it it and I'm 95% Explorer
I'm also an ESFP via the MBTI test

My hubby and I are a case of opposite attracts, he's an ISTP with the MBTI test, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's a Builder (I'll have him take the test later).  Thanks for sharing this one, always love to find out more on these personality/psych tests!

[Galbin]

Ever since we saw a documentary on Fisher’s work, headship and I have been obsessed with the system. Both of us immediately knew what the other would be, and we were correct. Since then, we can spot each type at ten paces. I keep meaning to email Fisher and tell that in four years of uni, I have never come across any system that is as accurate.  Myers- Briggs is okay, but I feel her system explains personality much better. 

Anyway, in short:

Explorer: Governed by dopamine. This means they like adventure, spontaneity, and to an extent risk. They have wanderlust and don't like to plan things much. They can be disorganised and usually have a Director in their life who helps them get their stuff together.  They tend to be great fun. As a hyper organised planner who hates spontaneity, I get stressed being around explorers. 

Builder: Governed by serotonin. These are the "sensible" types of this world. They are practical, organised, and respectful of authority figures. They also love procedures and rules, and tend to be somewhat conservative and stubborn. They don't like change, and love routine. Family is everything to them.  I think the Fundie community is filled with Builders.

Here is what Fisher says about Builders:

"BUILDERS are pillars of society. Most likely highly expressive of the serotonin system in the brain, they are traditional and conventional, as well as cautious, calm and often social. These men and women like to build networks; community and family are important to them. They make good managers because they are orderly, conscientious, thorough and loyal. And they respect rules and like schedules. Builders seek a stable and predictable team player, someone who shares their fidelity to family and tradition. They take courtship seriously, too. Builders don’t choose a partner impulsively. They believe in good manners, old-fashioned courtesy, punctuality and well-arranged schedules. Builders tend to think concretely; they are literal; they like and trust facts. So on a date, a Builder is likely to engage in tangible conversations - about food, travel, sports, the weather, TV programs and/or movies. They are often good at “small talk,” short conversations on concrete topics. They can be very modest when discussing their achievements. And they tend to take the opinions of their friends and relatives seriously.BUILDERS are pillars of society. Most likely highly expressive of the serotonin system in the brain, they are traditional and conventional, as well as cautious, calm and often social. These men and women like to build networks; community and family are important to them. They make good managers because they are orderly, conscientious, thorough and loyal. And they respect rules and like schedules. Builders seek a stable and predictable team player, someone who shares their fidelity to family and tradition. They take courtship seriously, too. Builders don’t choose a partner impulsively. They believe in good manners, old-fashioned courtesy, punctuality and well-arranged schedules. Builders tend to think concretely; they are literal; they like and trust facts. So on a date, a Builder is likely to engage in tangible conversations - about food, travel, sports, the weather, TV programs and/or movies. They are often good at “small talk,” short conversations on concrete topics. They can be very modest when discussing their achievements. And they tend to take the opinions of their friends and relatives seriously."

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Galbin said:

Not surprised. I am confident that many members here are directors. If I had to bet, I would guess circa 60-70%.  Also, I love Directors. I get on really well with them, as I respect their clear lines and honesty. My husband is a Director/Builder, and I adore him.

I'm a negotiator, this fits me pretty good.  NEGOTIATORS are philosophers. These women (and men) express traits linked with the estrogen system in the brain. These people see the big picture. They are imaginative and intuitive. They have superb language and people skills. They are also emotionally expressive, as well as agreeable, trusting and compassionate. Negotiators seek someone with whom they can make an intensely intimate, deeply meaningful, inspiring and spiritual connection. But Negotiators, like Directors, prefer to go out with one person at a time and to explore the depths of this potential partnership. They dislike wasting time on irrelevant, trivial or boring socializing. When they find “The One,” Negotiators are superb at generating and maintaining intimacy with this partner. They avoid conflicts with a mate, and make major personal adjustments to strengthen this cherished bond. They give thoughtful gifts, such as a treasured book or photograph. They share their most personal feelings. And they want their partner to share his or her feelings too.

Your score on the Explorer scale is 24 out of a possible 42, or 57%.

Your score on the Builder scale is 8 out of a possible 42, or 19%.

Your score on the Director scale is 28 out of a possible 42, or 67%.

Your score on the Negotiator scale is 39 out of a possible 42, or 93%.

[Chickenbutt]

I am a builder. I read the description to Mr. Butt, he says it fits me to a T.

[pamplemousse]

I am a builder (67%), with second highest percentage (62%) being negotiator. I scored something like 42% on director and 18% on explorer.  On the MBTI, I've gotten varying results, but the most common is INFP.

[feministxtian]

Director/Explorer here. It was pretty accurate. Now let's hope I pass my professional Project manager certification...

[marmalade]

11 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

Gah!  That's exactly what Josh did.  And Derick was not in the picture at the time, he came along much later, so he had to have gotten the idea somewhere....hmmmm wonder where that could be from?

Also want to clarify, I don't watch the episodes, I can't stand them for more than a minute so prefer to get the highlights (or is it lowlights?) here.   Kudos to all who watch....you are made of stronger stuff than I am. 

Smuggar also dipped Anna at Jill's wedding. THAT is where D-Wreck (love that!) likely saw it for the first time. 

Your score on the Explorer scale is 19 out of a possible 42, or 45%.

Your score on the Builder scale is 26 out of a possible 42, or 62%.

Your score on the Director scale is 29 out of a possible 42, or 69%.

Your score on the Negotiator scale is 23 out of a possible 42, or 55%.

Not surprised. I'm E/I (seriously, it depends on the day...50/50 split) NTJ. 

 

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

24 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Smuggar also dipped Anna at Jill's wedding. THAT is where D-Wreck (love that!) likely saw it for the first time. 

I tied 81% each for Builder and Negotiator. I always hate the questions in these personality tests because the answers aren't nuanced enough for my liking. 

 

I get Jinger's super excitement about marriage. I was raised with the mindset that women had to get a degree and have a successful career before getting married, but that wasn't what I wanted at all. When I met my husband, I felt like all of my dreams were coming true. I drove everyone crazy with my "smitten" stares, but nearly a decade and a half later I feel exactly the same way. And I pray that Jinger will too. 

[clueliss]

81% on Negotiator.  Followed by 60% on builder (and I'm an INFJ with a borderline on the N and sometimes on the F depending on my mood and how the questions are asked so I slide to ISFJ and INTJ territory)

[Chicken bones]

I was Negotiater with secondary Director. So I guess I feel your pain and then try to tell you how to fix it!

[antwan]

Everyone keeps talking about Jinger and the "googly eye" stares.  Am I the only who got the sense that those googly eyes shifted, nearing the wedding, to something more of strained smiles for the camera? She STILL is coming across like that, to me, on that latest "babies" TLC video. She seems (to me) NOT all "hot and heavy" in the honeymoon phase like Jessa seemed with Ben.  She seems,...I don't know, maybe she's just a private person and all the married life attention makes her squirm?   But I sensed she wasn't as "gaga, there's my man" even before the wedding, and  I sensed the same in HIM toward  HER as well. They both seemed,...paused? Jeremy made the "Maybe our relationship WAS a bit on the fast track" comment, and Jinger's smiles began looking less "smitten" and more....strained. And they still do, to me. It showed on the messy hair honeymoon video, too, an underlying, "I'm not real comfortable in this role, now. but here I am just the same." I just feel/see an anxious shift in her, and given how quickly they moved, she seemingly should still be a gaga "newlywed" honeymoon, starry eyed stage.  I don't get that sense.
It also seemed that as her wedding day neared, she really became uncomfortable with the reality that she would be moving away (understandable, though).  She just seemed to be trying to assure herself that she WAS happy and that this WAS the moment she'd been waiting for her whole life. Early on, when Jeremy gave her the flower at the airport, she was SO filled with joy and starry eyes at the mere sight of him.  Yet, when she picked him up with Michelle at the airport, she only seemed "the cameras are rolling"  happy to see him? Anyone? Someone else has to have witnessed what I'm talking about.

[Carm_88]

8 hours ago, Chicken bones said:

I was Negotiater with secondary Director. So I guess I feel your pain and then try to tell you how to fix it!

Hahah I am the same way!  

[Mela99]

I honestly get the sense that Jinger is more private -- or would LIKE to be more private -- but hasn't been given the opporunity because of the role she was forced to play. I DO think she would have liked a more private, smaller wedding. Jeremy too for that matter. But she's a Duggar first, and Jinger second... 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

4 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

I honestly get the sense that Jinger is more private -- or would LIKE to be more private -- but hasn't been given the opporunity because of the role she was forced to play. I DO think she would have liked a more private, smaller wedding. Jeremy too for that matter. But she's a Duggar first, and Jinger second... 

I agree, this is most likely why they are media silent, they don't want to be "famous" they want to live their life, they haven't been seen or heard from since their honeymoon, well there were a few shots of Christmas with his family but other than that they have been quiet I think. 

@antwan I think Jinger's uncomfortable stares are more of she is uncomfortable with the implications of her future sex life by her sisters & creepy Derrick If I were a sheltered virgin I would be squicked out by that talk as well. I'm really hoping we are right in thinking it will be a while before JinJer have kids.  I hope they wait at least a year before she gets pregnant. 

[choralcrusader8613]

Just took the personality test. Got 93% percent builder and 79% director. Let me show you how shocked I am.

Spoiler

I've always been very much a logic and rules person; my parents called me "the hyphen in anal-retentive" LOL. I prefer to say I'm type A+. Most of the time I read those types, I was thinking, "Yup, uh-huh, yeah, it's me."

[lumpentheologie]

9 hours ago, Chicken bones said:

I was Negotiater with secondary Director. So I guess I feel your pain and then try to tell you how to fix it!

Haha, I was thinking being a Director/Negotiator means I want to tell you want to do, but I also want to make sure you're okay with that!

[Scrabblemaster]

I am a 69% negotiater. Secondary was builder. And i learned a lot of new words. 

[wikinggirl]

I just took the test, and apparently I'm an explorer/negotiator. Don't know exactly what to make of that, but it fits pretty well. 

[nokidsmom]

44 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I agree, this is most likely why they are media silent, they don't want to be "famous" they want to live their life, they haven't been seen or heard from since their honeymoon, well there were a few shots of Christmas with his family but other than that they have been quiet I think. 

@antwan I think Jinger's uncomfortable stares are more of she is uncomfortable with the implications of her future sex life by her sisters & creepy Derrick If I were a sheltered virgin I would be squicked out by that talk as well. I'm really hoping we are right in thinking it will be a while before JinJer have kids.  I hope they wait at least a year before she gets pregnant. 

Looking at the wedding video, these were my impressions:

1.  Jinger and Jeremy both struck me as overjoyed to be getting married and I sensed strong chemistry between them.

2.  While Jinger seemed truly happy, I got the feeling she was anxious to get it all over with.  She wasted no time taking Jim Bob's arm and moving him along down that aisle.  

3. Agree with @Mela99, that they probably wanted a smaller wedding as they seemed a bit uncomfortable at times but it seemed more with the event than with themselves.  In spite of that, it was a classy wedding, so even if Jinger wanted something smaller at least she got a far more classy event than her sisters: no bare feet, no root beer floats in the parking lot, nice wedding dress, nice dresses on the bridesmaids too!

Personally I find it a good sign they have been quiet since their honeymoon and hearing they spent Christmas with his family, well that tells me a lot.  No doubt Jinger will have adjustments to make after living in that chaotic house, but I hope once she adjusts, she's going to love having a private life so much she won't even think of getting back into the dog and pony show.  There's got to be one Duggar who will not be willing to make the devil's bargain of selling out privacy for $$$. 

[front hugs > duggs]

This may be such a small thing to comment on, but I kind of liked that Jinger said "I decided to do floor length dresses because my sisters hadn't done that yet". Such a small thing, but trying to set herself apart and keep her own independent style in a way.

[nokidsmom]

46 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

This may be such a small thing to comment on, but I kind of liked that Jinger said "I decided to do floor length dresses because my sisters hadn't done that yet". Such a small thing, but trying to set herself apart and keep her own independent style in a way.

Agree, the floor length dresses made for a more formal look which is the look I think she wanted.   Plus the style had similarities to Jinger's dress, so it was more traditional in that sense.  

 

[Coconut Flan]

11 hours ago, antwan said:

Yet, when she picked him up with Michelle at the airport, she only seemed "the cameras are rolling"  happy to see him? Anyone? Someone else has to have witnessed what I'm talking about.

I haven't watched the episode, but take four will do that to you. 

[justmy2cents]

11 hours ago, antwan said:

  Yet, when she picked him up with Michelle at the airport, she only seemed "the cameras are rolling"  happy to see him? Anyone?

I don't see what you're seeing.  At the airport she was walking so fast, eager to get to Jeremy, that Michelle asked her to slow down. That's not a woman with second thoughts.

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

21 hours ago, calimojo said:

I liken the experience Jinger is having, being away from the compound and having freedom to go out on her own ( at least we think she has that freedom), etc to being similar to someone moving to a new country with a similar but different culture.    I imagine it is hard for her, but hopefully it is also exciting and enlightening. 

You are so right! I recall watching a documentary where they interviewed former members of a fundie Christian cult, and they were saying that, when they stepped away from the cult, they felt like they were living in a totally different country, except speaking the same language, because they could relate to almost nothing around them, had no clue about things that were popular, but also e.g. they were in their mid 20s/early 30s and had never even applied to social security,  never had a job, etc. 

Not saying Jinger isn't still firmly steeped in the cult - I think she is - but surely it's a huge change. For one, she is hopefully master of her own/time pursuits away from Duggarland, at least when the Headship is away at work.