Another Duggar Courting - Joy and Austin

[QuiverDance]

17 hours ago, DaniLouisiana said:

On Joy's Texas necklace-maybe she'd like to move there with Jinger. I have Louisiana love necklace because my kids know how much I would like to move back there ( lived there as a small  child, went back for a visit with relatives, now am bugging the hubs to move).

 

I would rather eat a lightbulb sandwich than move back.  I love it for visits, though.

1 hour ago, Chickenbutt said:

It appears that my use of the s word has made a few of FJers uncomfortable. For that I apologize. I will always think of my ex DIL in those terms, but out of respect for FJ, I will refrain from using the word. Thanks for the kind words and support.

 

I'm fairly certain that my former MIL says the same things about me.  I can assure you she is wrong.  Not saying you are, just giving some perspective.  Nobody thinks of the person their son divorces in glowing terms, really, and there are always two sides.  Hope the kids are thriving.  That's what is important. 

[ClaraOswin]

3 hours ago, VooDooChild said:

Well, shit.  This gives me something to think about.  I never made the connection.  Hmmmm.....

Do you have an autoimmune disease? I have no scientific basis for my opinion about what triggered mine or anything. Just a feeling, I guess. I'm weird.

[quiverofdoubt]

I tend to get really spun up on the "early academics" subject.  I have a degree in psych and education, an ex Waldorf student, 3 years as a prek teacher in a play based, best practices preschool, and years of researching parenting, child psychology, developmental psych and homeschool curricula etc.  SO I could go on for pages.

But I'll keep it short: if you are delaying formal academics, especially if you are replacing them with free, open ended and natural play, you are helping your kiddos more than you could probably imagine.  No worries- the abstract academic stuff comes fairly easily once your children have developed that part of their brain.  Until then they are learning so so many things (including creativity and problem solving) that can only come from play, being in nature and growing at their own pace.   Decoding letters on a page is fairly simple- being passionate about doing so, developing the contextual knowledge to understand it, and the vocabulary to comprehend it- comes much harder and through the work of active play.

 

@ClaraOswin  After my second was born I started having horrible pain attacks.  Eventually i pinned it down to dairy.  a long story short it's clear i have an auto-immune type reaction to dairy now.  And judging on my symptoms it probably started during my 2nd pregnancy, but hard to know for sure.  aren't pregnancy and post partum hormones such a splendid mysterious blessing from god? (sarcasm font)

[GreyhoundFan]

6 hours ago, foreign fundie said:

Just want to say how sorry I am for you and your son. No mum wants to see her child and grandchildren go through that. They all deserved better. I hope you will bring much joy into eachother's lives to make up for all that heart ache.

And if anybody here with a family contemplates an affair, don't. It is not worth it. You will bring incredible hurt and your children may never respect you again. 

This is so true. My mother ran around on my father when I was young. My dad died while he and my mother were separated and one of a parade of men lived with us. I love my mother, but I do not respect her choices. It's been over 40 years and I'm still disgusted by her behavior. And, yes, I've seen a counselor about it, which is where I learned that I can't do anything about her choices, I can only regulate my reaction to her. If someone here is contemplating an affair and there are children in the marriage, please don't. You may think the kids don't know, but you'd be amazed at how much they see.

@Chickenbutt I'm glad you don't speak ill of their mother in front of your grandkids. Having a loving grandma can really help kids, especially if they are dealing with feeling abandoned by one of their parents. I completely understand your feelings about the woman. I said and thought some truly ugly things about my mother in the past.

[Chickenbutt]

I don't speak of their mother period. One day, I expect them to ask about the divorce and I will refer them to their father. It is not my place to discuss it with them. If they speak of her, I listen and comment appropriately. She is their mother, my feelings are not going to change that.

ETA: I would have respected her more if she had just asked for a divorce instead of cheating. IMO, there is no excuse for that.

[VooDooChild]

3 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

Do you have an autoimmune disease? I have no scientific basis for my opinion about what triggered mine or anything. Just a feeling, I guess. I'm weird.

I have Grave's disease, Fibromyalgia (currently thought to be autoimmune disease), and possibly Chron's.  I have to wait until we move back to the states in January to begin testing for Chron's.  Symptoms of all of these began around the time my second was born.  Your comment caused me to realize that.  Interesting correlation even if it is only that.

[Fun Undies]

On 11/13/2016 at 6:55 PM, ClaraOswin said:

*snip*

I know a lot of people who use an ipad to help their child with autism communicate. I am really hoping we won't need to do that. Partly because I'm cheap....haha. My son's tablet didn't cost much.

This might not be relevant till your son is in elementary school, but I figure I'd mention it anyway. My youngest brother is on the spectrum (and has many other issues - was adopted, and born on drugs and alcohol).  His school uses tablets during the day, as well as an interactive smart board.  So you might not need to buy a tablet   

****

@IntrinsicallyDisordered I'm really sorry you went through all that . . . I can unfortunately relate, because I developed early at 11.  And had boys inappropriately touch me as well.  They've only gotten bigger (I'm a DD, after two pregnancies, I was a C before the kiddos).  Rape culture is disgusting.  Anyone who has a figure, is told "Well, what did you expect?", and if you're considered unattractive by the person you're confiding in, they'll say, "Well, just be grateful you some attention."  I tell anyone, and everyone, that I'm not raising boys in my house, I'm raising men.  Never will we allow a "boys will be boys" mentality to seep into this house.  I don't care what their age was/is, nobody should have ever touched either of us, and I'm here to vent to if you need to <3

****

@VooDooChild&Clara

I have a genetic condition that affects my lungs, and though before children, my tests results were good - I suspect my pregnancies have exasperated, and sped up, the eventualities of my condition.  My asthma has gotten worse, and I've developed an obstruction since my pregnancies.  My labor the 2nd time around required oxygen towards the end.  My pulmonologist couldn't give me a 100% on this theory, but she flat out told me not to have any more children.  There is a link to pregnancy reducing a woman's immune system, so it's not crazy to think that if our bodies aren't function 100% to begin with, that pregnancy can exasperate those conditions (even dormant ones that might not have appeared otherwise till older age).

So maybe not the most encouraging post, but at the same time, it wouldn't want either of you two thinking it's "in your head" (*hate* that term for anybody dealing with chronic illness).

***

Sorry for the wall of text everybody!

 

[Lurky]

@VooDooChild I had fibromyalgia as a side effect of my autoimmune thyroid condition - I know it's not madly helpful, and everyone is different, but my fibromyalgia went away once I'd got my thryroid sorted out and had FM treatment inc physio and medication.  So I hope you can get good treatment too - my thoughts with you.

[VooDooChild]

6 hours ago, Lurky said:

@VooDooChild I had fibromyalgia as a side effect of my autoimmune thyroid condition - I know it's not madly helpful, and everyone is different, but my fibromyalgia went away once I'd got my thryroid sorted out and had FM treatment inc physio and medication.  So I hope you can get good treatment too - my thoughts with you.

My thyroid is pretty much under control now.  I have a lot of problems with my spine: slipped discs, degeneration, stenosis, scoliosis.  I believe that exacerbates my pain.  When I was first diagnosed I asked the neurologist if the fibro pain was a result of the back problems.  According to him it wasn't.  Since then I have heard otherwise by a few different doctors.  There is a correlation between spinal problems and fibro.  *shrugs*  I dunno man!  I just do my core exercises when I can and hoard my pain meds for the days I feel like I'm going to explode. And I wouldn't have to hoard meds if doctors weren't so damn stingy in prescribing them.  

@Fun Undies  I'm 100% certain it isn't in my head and will loudly and not too politely correct anyone, even doctors, who suggest otherwise.

 

Sorry for the rant.  Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

[caszandra]

@VooDooChild, that is interesting about fibro being triggered by back pain, I will look that up. I have a problem with the discs in my lower back (can't for the life of me remember which one's, oh the joy of fibro fog). I also have severe sciatica. I am waiting on a appointment with neurology due to other symptoms my GP thinks are not related to my fibro. Like you I am 100% certain it is not in my head, I even got a tattoo that says 'My pain is real'. Nothing worse than having people comment that you look fine and don't believe you, even worse is when one of them is your husband! Now glad to say he is my ex husband.

[VooDooChild]

7 minutes ago, caszandra said:

@VooDooChild, that is interesting about fibro being triggered by back pain, I will look that up. I have a problem with the discs in my lower back (can't for the life of me remember which one's, oh the joy of fibro fog). I also have severe sciatica. I am waiting on a appointment with neurology due to other symptoms my GP thinks are not related to my fibro. Like you I am 100% certain it is not in my head, I even got a tattoo that says 'My pain is real'. Nothing worse than having people comment that you look fine and don't believe you, even worse is when one of them is your husband! Now glad to say he is my ex husband.

I'm sorry you had to go through that from your husband.  I understand people can only understand pain as it relates to their experiences, so they don't understand how different fibro pain is.  Still not an excuse to be so dismissive.

My husband didn't get it at first either.  He has been properly schooled though, through my words and my flares.  Now, he gets it and he feels rather helpless that he can't make me feel better.  

[GreyhoundFan]

15 minutes ago, caszandra said:

@VooDooChild, that is interesting about fibro being triggered by back pain, I will look that up. I have a problem with the discs in my lower back (can't for the life of me remember which one's, oh the joy of fibro fog). I also have severe sciatica. I am waiting on a appointment with neurology due to other symptoms my GP thinks are not related to my fibro. Like you I am 100% certain it is not in my head, I even got a tattoo that says 'My pain is real'. Nothing worse than having people comment that you look fine and don't believe you, even worse is when one of them is your husband! Now glad to say he is my ex husband.

Speaking as someone who lives with chronic pain, I understand where you and @VooDooChild are coming from. Luckily, I found a good pain management specialist, who doesn't act like I'm making it all up.

There is a good website run by a woman with Lupus, But You Don't Look Sick. The link I posted is to her article where she tried to explain to a friend what it is like to have a chronic illness. She calls it the spoon theory. I really like the way it gets the point across.

[caszandra]

Thank you @VooDooChild, it wasn't the only crappy thing he done that helped to end our marriage but boy was it a big one. I'm glad your husband is understanding.

@GreyhoundFan, thank you for that link, will bookmark and read it later. I am starting a pain management course after the new year and I hope to get a lot out of it to help me better cope and manage my pain.

 

[Lurky]

@VooDooChild , @caszandra, I hope you can find people to help you.  I was super-lucky that I lived in a city with experimental fibromyalgia treatments going on (combo of low level tricyclics and physiotherapy and workshops to help manage how to live with pain etc).

(I was told by my doctors that fibromyalgia is triggered when because of illness you don't get enough REM sleep, so your body doesn't regenerate properly, so you get tons of pain, so you can't sleep, and the circle continues.  And then because you can't exercise, your muscles weaken/waste, so exercise is harder, and that makes the pain work - so it makes tons of sense that back pain would exacerbate it.  FWIW this was around 18 years ago, so things may have moved on)

[VooDooChild]

@Lurky  Exercise and muscle weakness are sooooooooo annoying.  I have to force myself to do it even if I"m tired and hurting.  But I find when I stick with it that it boosts my energy and I sleep better, however, it seems to be taking forever to gain strength.  I'd be happy if I could just increase my chances of being able to open a jar without asking for help.  

Am I the only one that talks to her body and cheers it on when it's having trouble doing something?  I cheer my fingers and hands on when I have trouble with the aforementioned jars.  I'm all like, "You can do it, girls!!"

[caszandra]

2 minutes ago, VooDooChild said:

Am I the only one that talks to her body and cheers it on when it's having trouble doing something?  I cheer my fingers and hands on when I have trouble with the aforementioned jars.  I'm all like, "You can do it, girls!!"

No your not the only one! I also give my body a talking too if it fails me at something. Like "come on to grips, this is a simple thing I'm asking you to do, just do it already".

[Lurky]

16 minutes ago, VooDooChild said:

Exercise and muscle weakness are sooooooooo annoying.  I have to force myself to do it even if I"m tired and hurting. 

I got to do exercise in a lovely physiotherapy pool, which was amazing - it felt great, and little movements had big effects, cos of the pushing against the water, so standing in a swimming pool doing little movements was awesome.  I hope yours can improve xx

[CharityBear]

From the Counting On Facebook page:

Watch Jinger & Jeremy's Wedding Special TONIGHT at 8/7c to find out who's courting! The mystery Duggar will be making the big annoucement on TLC! #CountingOn!

[albanuadh_1]

Hope the hell it isn't Joy!

[Destiny]

Sigh.

[Jinder Roles]

Looks like TLC and the Duggars figured out how to keep the gravy train going. Ugh 

[GreyhoundFan]

I don't think they could be more blatant in their grab for ratings/show renewal if they tried. I hope it's one of the older boys, not Joy.

[VineHeart137]

Ugh no please not Joy!

[window]

I think it's Joseph.

[luv2laugh]

I'm going to go for the wildcard and say it's Jana. They know people want to see her get married off and think this will be the way to keep their fan base growing and bring in more money.