Jinger and Jeremy: Love and Marriage

[LawsonBatesEgo]

I'll likely take my partner's surname when I get married.

Main reason being that I have 2 last names (half Latina) and with both of them being on the longer side and foreign words, they are frequently misspelled here in Australia. Meanwhile my partner's surname is a very common 6 letter surname that never gets messed up (Thomas). I have to say that after 30 years of spelling my names out all the time and having it butchered (and I have a first name that is usually spelled a different way on top of that!), being about to just say Thomas' for surname instead of LongassGermanSurname and TrickyToSpellSpanishSurname is a very appealing prospect. 

 

 

[Chevreuil]

In Quebec we are legally not allowed to change our last name to our husband's name (or vice versa). 

[HarryPotterFan]

4 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The kiss in gif form for those who didn't watch the episode.

 

http://keepingupwithfundies.tumblr.com/post/153309162719/jinger-and-jeremy-vuolo-the-first-kiss

 

 

And Binessa kiss awkwardly two years later, and that wasn't an awkward kiss. Go JinJer 

 

18 minutes ago, NikeKnees said:

I am working on my Masters right now and the ONLY reason I would want to go on to PhD is for that very reason. 

I want a PhD so I can stop being the black sheep of the family, everyone else has some sort of doctorate. Lol.

[jacduggar]

4 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The kiss in gif form for those who didn't watch the episode.

 

http://keepingupwithfundies.tumblr.com/post/153309162719/jinger-and-jeremy-vuolo-the-first-kiss

 

 

Jinger looks like she's been waiting her whole life for that. The last couple frames where they pull away especially. I truly hope Jeremy treats her well. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I'm so glad my first kiss got to be in an awkward spin the bottle game and not on my wedding day in front of thousands of people  

[alba]

I have a friend who is married and has a doctorate, and we like to call them Dr. and Mr. Smith because in the tradition it would have been Dr. and Mrs. Smith, since obviously the husband would be the doctor.

I know a couple who both hold doctorates. They double-barrelled their names and like to be formally addressed as "The Drs. Smith-Brown" (except their names sound a lot cooler ).

I was actually up for double-barrelling, but Mr Alba thought that sounded pretentious and I thought it sounded weird for ME to double-barrel while he kept his surname. I did consider taking his name at one point, but then remembered that it'd mean changing two passports, driver's licence, email address, and his surname is common enough that I didn't want to deal with the headache of changing social media handles. So essentially I kept my name because I'm a lazy millennial

[nst]

24 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I'm so glad my first kiss got to be in an awkward spin the bottle game and not on my wedding day in front of thousands of people  

i went to a party in the 7th grade and i didn't participate - i often wonder how my life would have been different if i had 

deep thinker that i am

[HarryPotterFan]

17 minutes ago, alba said:

 

I know a couple who both hold doctorates. They double-barrelled their names and like to be formally addressed as "The Drs. Smith-Brown" (except their names sound a lot cooler ).
 

 

My mom gets so pissed if she and my dad are ever referred to as Dr. And Mrs. HPF. Especially since they're never called Dr. and Mr. HPF. If people know she's a doctor  they're able to figure out my dad is too - but can't apply the same logic or take the time to figure it out if they know my dad is.

[CharlieInCharge]

I changed my name when we got married, but we are now planning on changing our name as a family. My husband was adopted and has no real attachment to his surname and it's a funky one to say and spell in the States. Now that his adopted father has passed on we want to start over as our own family unit. It's a statement for us and we chose a name that we both liked and was easy to spell. Maybe it's like the new Millennial trend of not holding on to family heirlooms, we just don't have desire to pass on a name we dislike. I know this might bother some people, but I think your name should make you happy, not others. YMMV

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, halcionne said:

Also, every time I see the thread title, I see this, and I hear the prison bars sound effect of doom:  

Oh thank god it's not just me, I avoid this tread to keep this out of my head. 

[karen77]

57 minutes ago, jacduggar said:

Jinger looks like she's been waiting her whole life for that. The last couple frames where they pull away especially. I truly hope Jeremy treats her well. 

she is cracking me up right after...like, "heeeyyy, we just kissed!" like she's a little love drunk or swooning right afterward, haha! (hard to say in type what i"m trying to convey)

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Dear God in Heaven! I just TRIED to watch the wedding episode

1. WTF happened to Finger that she now sounds like J'chelle?? UGH

3. [asking this NICELY] what is wrong with Josie that she needs subtitles to be understood? Isn't she a tad old to be speaking in such childish way? Does she have very little hearing? I'm not picking on her I really am curious. I hope she's getting some speech therapy.

4. After the fist "Babe" I wanted to scream.

5. Jeremy....ewwwww...very smarmy vibe. I really do not like him now at all. I'm glad Finger is getting away but he's just the kind of Christian guy I can't stand.

6. Cindy is much more tolerable as an event planner.

7. JB....can't even.....just ick. I still believe he loves his kids, but ick

 

[BlessaYourHeart]

I find it very uncomfortable when people speculate about the possibility of Jeremy being abusive to Jinger (especially when it's said like it's a given). 

 

As as for the talk on names. I cannot wait to get married and change my surname! I have an anglicised Dutch surname that people rarely ever get right and I'm constantly having to spell out or else people change it to a completely different name! It also doesn't help that my first name is  common name spelled in a less common way and I'm constantly having to say 'with no h' then spell my surname 

the soon to be Mr BlessaYourHeart has a slightly uncommon name but much easier to spell; pronounce and get right than my own

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, missegeno said:

 

I hate to say it but i really want to take a husband's name. I see the issues but I want it. However, my last name is awesome and the man I'll probably marry has just the most boring last name ever. So I might not take it just for that reason.

Yeah, I don't have a problem with that at all, so long as it's a mutual decision and not just "the woman has to take the man's name 'cause that's how it's done." What I DO have a problem with is referring to a woman as "Mrs. John Smith." Just no. That's not her name, so stop erasing her existence. Fuck the patriarchy.

[VineHeart137]

I took my husband's name and dropped my maiden name completely. I wasn't particularly attached to it, although I don't have any issues with my family. Our kid has his last name too (although she is named after me). I don't think that makes me any less of a feminist or anything. To me, the point of feminism is that women have the right to do whatever they want. So if at your wedding you want to be referred to as Mr. and Mrs. His Name, more power to ya. You do you.

[candygirl200413]

Ever since I was young, 6 or 7, I just always knew I wanted to keep my last name. Then I learned how my twin brother is the only way the name would be passed on since all my aunts are all married and changed their names. I'm also planning to get a PhD. Also I'm first generation, and my parents are from East Africa so my name is a tad complicated for many people (It's pronounced with a silent letter in front of it which really throws people off and is super understandable) but I guess with that I've just been like yeah I'm just so used to it and I guess with people saying it wrong it's motivated me to keep it if that makes any sense at all?

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

I was hell bent on not changing my name when I got married for the longest time, until six months before my wedding, when I got a job at the same firm as my Dad. Then I got sick of being referred to as "DefraudinSquadSr's daughter" and I (begrudgingly) took my husband's last name instead. I miss my maiden name sometimes, but I'll admit that I occasionally swoon at having the same last name as my beloved hubby, even if its a byproduct of patriarchy. 

I applaud Jeremy and Jinger for treating their wedding guests to more snacks/refreshments than Jill and Jessa did. That must be Jeremy's Italian influence. Us Italians place more emphasis on making sure our guests get fed. They seem happy now...I hope they stay that happy for as long as possible. I still can't help thinking they have a long, difficult road ahead due to how little they know eachother. My husband and moved in together after dating for three months, out of financial necesssity (we were young, in college, and needed roommates we didn't completely despise.)

We obviously survived, but man oh man is it hard to go from seeing eachother once or twice a week to living together 24/7. We had a lot of misunderstandings with eachother in the beginning just because we hadn't had an opportunity to see each other's responses to various stresses, so everything he did was a shock to me (and vice versa). I sometimes wish we had had an opportunity to learn certain things about each other as non-cohabitating partners. It would have spared us a lot of stress. And that was in a normal relationship with non chaperoned dates, pre-marital sex, and living away from the parental's house.  I can't imagine how much worse fundies fare in these situations.

 

[Justmurrayed]

My maiden name was a very simple last name but the jokes about it were horrendous so Mr.JustMurrayed and I toyed with mashing our last names together to make one(ya it worked) but decided the hassle we'd both have to go through to change documents and ID wasn't worth it so I decided to take his name.

[Gillyweed]

When a friend of mine married her wife, they decided to pick a new name for their family. I guess they didn't want to hyphenate, and there was no real assumption that one would take the others name since they're both female.

[Fun Undies]

4 hours ago, halcionne said:

The side hugs always look like something they do because they don't actually want to hug at all and they're just being polite or doing what's required/expected of them, but that's just me.

Was this photo and caption part of the gift, or just fanhumper artwork? I ask because "Vuolo" is spelled wrong...

Good catch!  I want to say the bridesmaid jars had some sort of picture inside (so I'm leaning towards this being the pic).  It might have been one of those things were Jinger asked someone else to put it together, and they didn't realize until after it was printed? 

4 hours ago, missegeno said:

 

I hate to say it but i really want to take a husband's name. I see the issues but I want it. However, my last name is awesome and the man I'll probably marry has just the most boring last name ever. So I might not take it just for that reason.

 

Don't hate to say that!  
At the end of the day, there's just as many reasons to take a husband's last name, as there are for not taking it.  Feminism is about a women's choice in all areas of her life.  So rock it, whatever you choose!

ETA with the talk about creating a new last name, does anybody else instantly think about Father of the Bride Part II, when they talk about baby names, and Steve Martin's like: "You're telling me my grandson's name might be - " *shoot, now I can't remember the made up name, lol . . . brain fried!  FOUND IT!! "Are you telling me I might have|a granddaughter named Sophie Zenkman?'

[Iamtheway]

When we got married we wanted to have the same last name. Mine had a letter in it that's not in the English alphabeth and Mr Ways was a semi-dirty word in Sweden, where we live. We took an old family name that I always liked and that didn't live on since there where no sons. 

[wikinggirl]

I'm not married, but when my parents divorced my mom took her maiden name back, and since I liked that name better than my father's (and he is a jerk anyway) I took it too. It's only my family that has that name (it comes from an old family farm) so if I meet someone with the same last name I know we're related.

[missegeno]

Interesting that everyone else seems eager to get rid of last names that are hard to spell and with non-English letters. I love my last name because it sounds nice and isn't a generic white name. I often pass as nonhispanic white and I love that my last name keeps that half of me from being lost. I used to hate my last name because it brought about all the racism I encountered as a child but I came to love it and now am really attached. Lol. Nonetheless, I get giddy thinking of being Mr. and Mrs. Boyfriend'sFirstandLastName. I know the roots are horribly misogynist but it's a unity thing to me. We've talked about him taking my name but decided it wasn't for us. I'm not sure what we'll do, ultimately, if we do get married. I think it's sad that Jinger and Joy probably haven't talked to Jeremy and Austin about their hopes and expectations for marriage as much as my partner and I have in our heathen, sexually active dating relationship. We fully intend to get married but don't want to rush into it. A foreign concept to them, I know.

[feministxtian]

Changing names at marriage...I happily chucked my last name when my Mr. and I married. After my divorce, I took back my maiden name b/c I hated my X that much...however, my maiden name is very long, German and difficult to pronounce. So, when we got married I happily chucked it for his 6 letter, generic American last name. 

[SassyPants]

I took my husband's short, easy to recognize Irish last name over my long, hard to pronounce and forever butchered maiden name. The only solace with the long, hard to pronounce name, you always knew when someone was going to call it (when last names were being called out). There would always be this long pause and they would start with the first initial sound B and then another long pause.