Michael and Brandon Keilen

[ladyaudley]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

In fact, it's my complaining. In the beginning of the book, mom is nervous  because the pregnancy and shouts and at other moment she hits one of her kids because the stress.

D'you know, I remember the shouting part, but not the hitting. huh! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

27 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

You should still consider talking about birth control pills with your boys. Using both gives the protection from STDs and an extra method of pregnancy protection too.

(I mean, I know your boys can't take them. But if they end up in commited relationships with girls it's something that they and their partner may want to consider. So giving them the information could be helpful.)

Honestly I will tell my boys not to rely on BC. A girl could lie or be forgetful about taking it which might make it less effective. They need to take that responsibility upon themselves and not rely on the other person.

[elliha]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I'm a condom fanatic and I kind of feel sorry for my boys, lol. They will hear all about how great condoms are from an early age. They help protect you from STDs and pregnancy fairly well if used properly. No other BC compares in my opinion. It does BOTH! And since I have boys, that's mostly all I can do. If I had girls I would sing the praises of condoms and a few other BC options. Of course they will be well educated. But they will have access to plenty of condoms. Heck, I will even buy them for them well into their 20s! They can even give some away. I know condoms can be expensive but it's worth it to me.

So will my kids! I think condoms are great too. I do hope that men will be able to have more options by the time my son is an adult at least if he is an a relationship. There are a couple of things being researched but nothing on the market right now. As it is now I don't feel comfortable with taking hormones so I really only feel condoms and perhaps a copper IUD are workable options for us. I am contemplating trying the IUD once my periods are back but it is still undecided. We have successfully used condoms so far and I have never had an unplanned pregnancy with my husband or previous partners despite clearly being very fertile. If you truly put a condom on every single time they are very efficient.

[VelociRapture]

51 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Honestly I will tell my boys not to rely on BC. A girl could lie or be forgetful about taking it which might make it less effective. They need to take that responsibility upon themselves and not rely on the other person.

I know what you meant. It is still a good idea to bring the subject up though - you can still explain why condoms are always a very good option (for all the reasons you mentioned), but this way they know there are things that can be done in addition to condoms if they and a future partner choose.

(And just for clarity, by future partner I'm talking about a commited relationship not anything casual. And I completely agree with what you're concerns here. It's just good to be sure the kids know their options.)

[season of life]

Neither party should rely on the other. Both have to take precautions and be responsible for their own bodies. Girls should use BC and boys should use condoms.

[Dutchie]

1 hour ago, prayawaythefundie said:

If I had to change one thing about the sex ed curriculum in Bavaria, I would make consent a mandatory topic.

I honestly never thought about that. As a total left wing liberal atheist. i think "teaching" abstinence should be left to churches. If they want to, they're going to (and I think that is fine) and preventing sti and pregnancy should be the focus. But indeed teaching that saying no is oke, is important to. 

[infooverload]

I'm a condom fanatic and I kind of feel sorry for my boys, lol. They will hear all about how great condoms are from an early age. They help protect you from STDs and pregnancy fairly well if used properly. No other BC compares in my opinion. It does BOTH! And since I have boys, that's mostly all I can do. If I had girls I would sing the praises of condoms and a few other BC options. Of course they will be well educated. But they will have access to plenty of condoms. Heck, I will even buy them for them well into their 20s! They can even give some away. I know condoms can be expensive but it's worth it to me.

Random useless info for you, there is a book called The Humble Little Condom. The book is very fascinating.

[sophie10130]

23 minutes ago, Dutchie said:

I honestly never thought about that. As a total left wing liberal atheist. i think "teaching" abstinence should be left to churches. If they want to, they're going to (and I think that is fine) and preventing sti and pregnancy should be the focus. But indeed teaching that saying no is oke, is important to. 

I agree abstinence only should be left in the church. If churches want to teach that the punishment for sex is a baby, then that's on them. But in PUBLIC schools we should be teaching about all forms. Abstinence is a good thing to remind kids, but at the end of the day it needs to be sex positive.

I think they also should be teaching about all genders and sexualities. At the very least I think they need to bring up asexuality. Most of my ace friends said middle school and high school were super rough because everyone, even down to the health class, expected them to WANT to have sex and they never did. Some of them pushed themselves into relationships that ended up with both parties hurt, and some kids get depressed because they think they are broken.

Abstinence only is always set up to be "We know you want to have sex. Just have some self control and DON'T DO IT." But not everyone wants to have sex.

[twinmama]

On 8/4/2016 at 6:55 PM, JesusCampSongs said:

Most of the at-risk teens I work with started drinking and using drugs (or weed, at least) at around age 11.

Holy shit. This makes me realize even more how sheltered I grew up in upper middle class Connecticut. I'm like 100% sure I had never even heard of pot when I was 11! And I never considered alcohol until I was 16 and hit by a drunk driver and decided I WOULD NEVER DO THAT (note: turned 25, met my husband and a group of awesome friends in grad school, relaxed a bunch and dealt with my issues, now I drink without fear of being that drunk driver or whatever my issue used to be).

I think, like others have said, a huge part of what you do in your teens is determined by both what is expected of you and what you think your life path will be. I never questioned that I'd go to whatever college I wanted. Of course I'd go to college, my parents would pay for it, and that was that. I'm a lot less naive now, thank god, and I realize how insanely privileged that is. A pregnancy at 16 would have been absolutely devastating in a way I can't even fathom. But if at 16 you are working at McDonald's and finishing high school doesn't do anything but keep you from working more hours, and you imagine that 10 years from now you'll still be doing that... why not have a kid. It's different, it's exciting, people make you feel special when you're pregnant or a new mom. 

On 8/11/2016 at 3:49 AM, nastyhobbitses said:

Suburban/posh CT here. No pregnancies as far as I know when I graduated. There were rumors that a girl two years behind me had an abortion, but no one had kids. Even now 7 years later, I only know of one person who graduated with me who is confirmed to have a  child.

Same area. I remember one girl a couple years ahead of me in high school was hugely pregnant with her second child senior year. I didn't know her and have no idea what her life became or was. One of my good friends had a ton of unprotected sex our junior year of high school. We ALL told her she'd get pregnant, she was being really stupid, and all that just nonstop. She kept doing it, got pregnant, wanted to keep the baby and ended up being convinced via two family meeting to have an abortion. After high school we lost touch except for Facebook, but she married her boyfriend and they have two more children and seem happy now. My guess is most fancy pants CT teenagers who get pregnant have abortions like my friend did. No one ever knew she was pregnant other than like 5 of her closest friends.

[twinmama]

On 8/13/2016 at 0:52 PM, eandre31 said:

Our HS practiced "abstinence only education" and we were not given any information on birth control or teenage pregnancy. I honestly don't know if it would have made a difference with me if we were educated on BC though. I knew about it..just couldn't get it. I am 100% against abstinence-only education though, although I don't blame it for my unintended pregnancy.

This is so interesting to me. Like I said above, my friend got pregnant in high school. I think it was way more "I feel invincible" as a teenager and less lack of education. My friend for sure knew about birth control and could have gotten some, but her boyfriend didn't like condoms so they didn't use them. As an adult, it sounds INSANE (and at the time, it also sounded crazy but I wasn't in that position as a teen so I don't know how I would have reacted). I was in high school in the early 90s, so we still had regular sex ed, not abstinence only. But I really remember most of my knowledge coming from friends and General Hospital (Robin and Stone yo!). 

[twinmama]

17 hours ago, ladyaudley said:

One girl in my HS got pregnant, but her IUD had slipped.

As a current IUD owner, owwwww! Every pain I have in my abdomen makes me wonder if that sucker broke free and is floating around in there. 99.9% chance its just gas, but ya never know!!

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Honestly I will tell my boys not to rely on BC. A girl could lie or be forgetful about taking it which might make it less effective. They need to take that responsibility upon themselves and not rely on the other person.

My favorite contraception for young 'uns idea is to have a big jar of condoms in their bathroom. That way they can grab one whenever they need it without having to go to a store, and since it's a big jar mom and dad can't tell if one or 5 are missing. No fear of judgement, no can't afford it, just protection! I will do this, of course mixed with lots of talks, but if they are embarrassed all I care about is that they protect themselves and their partners.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, twinmama said:

My favorite contraception for young 'uns idea is to have a big jar of condoms in their bathroom. That way they can grab one whenever they need it without having to go to a store, and since it's a big jar mom and dad can't tell if one or 5 are missing. No fear of judgement, no can't afford it, just protection! I will do this, of course mixed with lots of talks, but if they are embarrassed all I care about is that they protect themselves and their partners.

This is one topic husband and I need to talk about still. But I actually kind of like this idea. You're providing them with the proper protection in a judgement free way. Coupled with educational talks, it could be a good way to keep them safe while also letting them know that their sexuality is something they shouldn't be ashamed of or embarrassed by.

[prayawaythefundie]

8 hours ago, sophie10130 said:

/snip

I think they also should be teaching about all genders and sexualities. At the very least I think they need to bring up asexuality. Most of my ace friends said middle school and high school were super rough because everyone, even down to the health class, expected them to WANT to have sex and they never did. Some of them pushed themselves into relationships that ended up with both parties hurt, and some kids get depressed because they think they are broken.

/snip

Thanks so much for that input. I had a lesson about sexual orientation pepared, that I thought was pretty good (it worked quite well with my 8th graders this year) but I forgot to include asexuality! Thanks for reminding me, I just included it for next year.

[sophie10130]

35 minutes ago, prayawaythefundie said:

Thanks so much for that input. I had a lesson about sexual orientation pepared, that I thought was pretty good (it worked quite well with my 8th graders this year) but I forgot to include asexuality! Thanks for reminding me, I just included it for next year.

No problem! There are different types of asexuality as well. You can be sex averse or sex neutral. You can just not care about sex but still want a romantic relationship and that romantic relationship can be with someone of the same gender as you or not. Or you can be aromantic but still want to have sex. 

What I'm getting at is that I think it's important for students to know that there's more than just gay and straight and when it feels like everyone around you is obsessed with sex and you aren't, you feel wrong and broken.

I think you'll do an awesome job! 

[season of life]

So Michael posted a pic for their late one year anniversary. I am unaware of their personal situation, but I do wonder if they may actively try to conceive if they haven't been already. She did seem pretty sincere when she said she wanted as many children as God would allow her. Can't be easy with all those nieces and nephews being flaunted on social media.

[faraway]

I don't think they're  preventing, 1) it's just not a thing in their culture and 2) they seem one of the more fundie couples in the family and 3) Michael and everyone else has said she wants the most kids.

And she has said in insta comments things like 'no news yet' and 'twins would be a blessing'. 

I feel kind of bad for them if they really are trying, Gil and Kelly put them in this position where all the married couples are publicly considered baby factories and all the leghumpers want to know when the next baby is coming.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, faraway said:

I don't think they're  preventing, 1) it's just not a thing in their culture and 2) they seem one of the more fundie couples in the family and 3) Michael and everyone else has said she wants the most kids.

And she has said in insta comments things like 'no news yet' and 'twins would be a blessing'. 

I feel kind of bad for them if they really are trying, Gil and Kelly put them in this position where all the married couples are publicly considered baby factories and all the leghumpers want to know when the next baby is coming.

I also feel bad for her. I'm nowhere near fundie yet I got questions about getting pregnant and having babies about 5 seconds after I said "I do." :-/

[actuallyjessica]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I also feel bad for her. I'm nowhere near fundie yet I got questions about getting pregnant and having babies about 5 seconds after I said "I do." :-/

Yep! My husband and I had been battling (in private) with infertility for a couple of years prior to getting married, and we had numerous people approach us at our reception to ask "sooooo.... when are you having babies?" All that does is add insult to injury.

[infooverload]

Ugh people really should learn to follow the 3fs rule. For those not familiar it states unless you're financing, feeding me or fucking me mind your own damn business.

[hollywood]

40 minutes ago, infooverload said:

Ugh people really should learn to follow the 3fs rule. For those not familiar it states unless you're financing, feeding me or fucking me mind your own damn business.

That is the greatest thing I have ever read.

[actuallyjessica]

That is the greatest thing I have ever read.

Me too!

[season of life]

I hope their situation doesn't become a plot point on the show. Unless the Keilens are okay with it, I would be pissed if anyone blabbed about their reproductive choices on television.

[eandre31]

On 8/16/2016 at 7:27 PM, twinmama said:

This is so interesting to me. Like I said above, my friend got pregnant in high school. I think it was way more "I feel invincible" as a teenager and less lack of education. My friend for sure knew about birth control and could have gotten some, but her boyfriend didn't like condoms so they didn't use them. As an adult, it sounds INSANE (and at the time, it also sounded crazy but I wasn't in that position as a teen so I don't know how I would have reacted). I was in high school in the early 90s, so we still had regular sex ed, not abstinence only. But I really remember most of my knowledge coming from friends and General Hospital (Robin and Stone yo!). 

 I don't think my situation was me feeling "invincible", but I could see that as a reason why many teens end up pregnant. I tracked my cycle on a calendar and would never have sex during my presumed fertile times. So pretty much NFP I guess. One time, we did have sex around that time. I got pregnant. I was nervous and scared. However, I wasn't as scared as I should have been because I thought most people had to really try for a baby and have sex multiple times during ovulation to conceive. Nope, I was wrong.

It's ok now because I love my son and we have good lives. I'm proud of what I have accomplished as a young mother, but I will be having the safe sex talks with my son on a regular basis once he hits puberty. I have already started on the basics of sex ed of course.

[CharlieInCharge]

My mom started buying me a Costco box of condoms for Christmas every year once I became sexually active. For those who don't know that means a GIANT-ASS box of condoms. And since my mom is obviously super awesome she got the sampler pack, so I got to try ribbed-for-my-pleasure and whatnot. This was in addition to ongoing 'talks' and going on the pill. I fully plan to continue this tradition with my son  You die of embarrassment the first few years, but it still rocks! 

[Adrienne83]

For those planning on buying condoms for their children, please buy the non latex ones. I found out I have a latex allergy from condoms, and well, you can imagine how unpleasant that was. *shudders*