Michael and Brandon Keilen

[faraway]

9 hours ago, season of life said:

I hope their situation doesn't become a plot point on the show. Unless the Keilens are okay with it, I would be pissed if anyone blabbed about their reproductive choices on television.

The problem is, that Gil and Kelly have made their reproductive choices (as many babies as god will give us) their brand. I doubt they considered the fact that some of their kids might have problems back when they started out on TV. They're probably just not very foresighted people and thought their whole family will be as blessed as them *cough*.

Now being in the spotlight might not be for everyone when going through difficult times and maybe that would be the time to step away from the spotlight. Problem is with their sparse education and skill levels, they probably depend on the TV money. I hope at least one Bates child thanks their parents later in life and sends their own kids to college.

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

Michael seemed really happy in her anniversary pics / captions and I have to say it seemed pretty romantic with the locket and everything. I've had my doubts about Brandon but they seem happy together. Whether by choice or not, they're not bringing kids into the cult and that can only be a good thing. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, TShirtsLongSkirts said:

Michael seemed really happy in her anniversary pics / captions and I have to say it seemed pretty romantic with the locket and everything. I've had my doubts about Brandon but they seem happy together. Whether by choice or not, they're not bringing kids into the cult and that can only be a good thing. 

Michael seems to be a very strong person and very in love with Brandon. So I can see her enjoying her alone time with her new husband. Really I think it's good for all new couples to get that alone time together. But so many go from constant chaperoning to being pregnant. So it doesn't seem they have much time to really enjoy being a married couple. Hopefully Michael enjoys it without focusing too much on the fact that they didn't have a baby before their first anniversary like so many fundies. 

[faraway]

I really hope she's as happy as she shows to be, but there is no way to really know. In their world, you have to be grateful every single day and negative feelings are considered a flaw. 

Maybe she does put on a happy front on insta but cries herself to sleep at night because her sisters have babies and she doesn't. Who knows.

[elliha]

I have said it before, if a couple wants to avoid a pregnancy and not let people know it would be easiest to do so before they have any kids. They could always claim fertility problems which then by the grace of god were overcome and they could then go on to have as many babies as they like, it is not unheard of women becoming more fertile after a first pregnancy even if they had problems before. 

I have no idea if they are trying or not but I hope that Michael can see the benefits of not having babies right away even if it wasn't what they planned. 

[bjr70]

My mom started buying me a Costco box of condoms for Christmas every year once I became sexually active. For those who don't know that means a GIANT-ASS box of condoms. And since my mom is obviously super awesome she got the sampler pack, so I got to try ribbed-for-my-pleasure and whatnot. This was in addition to ongoing 'talks' and going on the pill. I fully plan to continue this tradition with my son [emoji4] You die of embarrassment the first few years, but it still rocks! 

When I moved to college my mom handed me a wrapped gift as they left. It was a big variety pack of condoms. Unfortunately, they all expired. I was a late bloomer.

[backyard sylph]

17 hours ago, Adrienne83 said:

For those planning on buying condoms for their children, please buy the non latex ones. I found out I have a latex allergy from condoms, and well, you can imagine how unpleasant that was. *shudders*

When I was a young woman, the spermicide nonoxynol-9 was introduced. It was in vaginal film* and on condoms, and also I think just in a gel. Well, it didn’t do much of anything it was meant to do, and caused a lot of problems. It wildly irritated my vaginal tissues, and apparently this was common enough that condoms with it still now have a warning label on them.

I’m pretty sure one of my pregnancies was an indirect result of problems with that. But I’m like a Dear Abby case; everything failed or was awful and I had six gorgeous terrific offspring as a result.

And so I highly support all these jars of condoms, but I hope you’re getting plain ones.

I just want my sons to feel super empowered enough to be at the checkout at Walgreen’s all slapping the box on the counter, “Hell yeah, my lady and I are having a good time tonight. This is not the Summer of 42!" I think my daughters just had such a strong sense of “Do not have a million kids like Mom” that they had little trouble getting what they needed and making sure it’s done right.

*Called VCF, which makes me now crack up every time I go to Value City Furniture.

[CorruptionInc.]

On 8/18/2016 at 1:37 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I also feel bad for her. I'm nowhere near fundie yet I got questions about getting pregnant and having babies about 5 seconds after I said "I do." :-/

I have two friends that are getting married in November.

They don't want kids yet, but they have said in 5 or 10 years, who knows?

People are already asking "when are you going to have kids?" and when they say: "not yet or maybe not at all" the whole room goes silent.

I don't understand how people think it's ok to ask about it. It's such a deeply personal choice. 

These are the same people who when I explain over and over again that everything has been removed because of medical reasons they still have this magical thought I can still get pregnant...

Also, my friend is allergic to latex so that makes things awkward.

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

I have two friends that are getting married in November.

They don't want kids yet, but they have said in 5 or 10 years, who knows?

People are already asking "when are you going to have kids?" and when they say: "not yet or maybe not at all" the whole room goes silent.

I don't understand how people think it's ok to ask about it. It's such a deeply personal choice. 

These are the same people who when I explain over and over again that everything has been removed because of medical reasons they still have this magical thought I can still get pregnant...

Also, my friend is allergic to latex so that makes things awkward.

Yes, it's crazy. If someone said they might not have kids, I would be the first to say, "good for you! Don't have kids unless you really want to!" My kids are exhausting.

[VelociRapture]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, it's crazy. If someone said they might not have kids, I would be the first to say, "good for you! Don't have kids unless you really want to!" My kids are exhausting.

I had two people ask about it at our wedding reception. My response?

I placed a hand on their shoulders and very calmly said we were leaving it up to God.

I got hysterical laughter each time. I'm not a religious person, which they know. It was a great way to turn an awkward question into a funny moment.

[CharlieInCharge]

58 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

I had two people ask about it at our wedding reception. My response?

I placed a hand on their shoulders and very calmly said we were leaving it up to God.

I got hysterical laughter each time. I'm not a religious person, which they know. It was a great way to turn an awkward question into a funny moment.

 I seriously laughed so hard at this I hurt my nose snorting. Thank you, O Scaly One!

[Purrl]

No one should ever, ever have children they don't want. Too bad it happens way too often.

I really hope that if any of the young marrieds have fertility problems they don't make a deal of it on the show. BUT, I can so see them following the kids as they go through whatever processes they go through - from prayer & Bible study & hands-on healing to medical testing & treatment and then possibly on to adoption. Won't that chap Jessa's butt if a Bates adopts before her, especially since that's been a huge Duggar thing for quite a while now. Have any of the Bates talked about the option of adoption?

[Melissa1977]

@Purrl Bates are ok with adoption or at least they say so. But Kelly has never talked about her adopting, which would be ridiculous considering she has already 19. Michelle talking about adopting is not only hypocrite, it's even insulting for those childless couples who wait years for a kid.

[Melissa1977]

20 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Michael seems to be a very strong person and very in love with Brandon. So I can see her enjoying her alone time with her new husband. Really I think it's good for all new couples to get that alone time together. But so many go from constant chaperoning to being pregnant. So it doesn't seem they have much time to really enjoy being a married couple. Hopefully Michael enjoys it without focusing too much on the fact that they didn't have a baby before their first anniversary like so many fundies. 

I can't say if she looks happy. Both she and Brandon never look really relaxed, specially him. She only glows when posing with little siblings and nephews. Maybe I'm wrong, but her anniversary posts sound as a person who has never been loved as a child and she feels she won the lottery with her husband, and it's probably true. She feels like Cinderella with the Prince. But she uses such a fundie writing that text looses naturality and sounds less sincere than maybe is.

[princessmahina]

On 8/18/2016 at 0:47 AM, Adrienne83 said:

For those planning on buying condoms for their children, please buy the non latex ones. I found out I have a latex allergy from condoms, and well, you can imagine how unpleasant that was. *shudders*

Yep, same here. I thought I had an STD or something because sex was so itchy and painful, but it turned out to just be latex. Ugh. I had the same issue with spermicide.

/TMI

[Nikedagain?]

Well ugh.

I got pregnant as a teenager. I chose adoption, simply because other options were not made available to me. It was a not a good situation. A very clandestine affair. I really feel like it has had such a powerful impact on my life, all these years later. A very defining event. As a result,  I educated my (now young adult) children to death about sex and birth control from early ages.

And people are always SO SURPRISED that I am extremely pro choice. I am always shocked that they are shocked. 

[season of life]

Do people who assume you're pro-life know you gave your child up for adoption? Maybe they assume because you did that, you aren't pro-choice.

[Nikedagain?]

9 hours ago, season of life said:

Do people who assume you're pro-life know you gave your child up for adoption? Maybe they assume because you did that, you aren't pro-choice.

Yes, that is exactly what it is. I am in the south. And they assume I would use the experience as a cautionary tale. Not the case at all.

[kjmackin]

On August 18, 2016 at 8:11 PM, VelociRapture said:

I had two people ask about it at our wedding reception. My response?

I placed a hand on their shoulders and very calmly said we were leaving it up to God.

I got hysterical laughter each time. I'm not a religious person, which they know. It was a great way to turn an awkward question into a funny moment.

I'm in a wedding during Labor Day Weekend I might suggest the "leaving up to God" line but I think it'll be lost on most people. I also suggested that they do one of those jars for a person to place a dollar in if they ask that question.

On August 19, 2016 at 11:29 AM, princessmahina said:

Yep, same here. I thought I had an STD or something because sex was so itchy and painful, but it turned out to just be latex. Ugh. I had the same issue with spermicide.

/TMI

Depending on the night I usually come out itchy like crazy post sex. Doesn't matter if there was lube, comdoms, or nothing at all. It sucks donkey ballz and I started keeping some vaggy safe anti itch cream in reach. 

[BeccaGrim]

On 8/19/2016 at 5:22 AM, Melissa1977 said:

I can't say if she looks happy. Both she and Brandon never look really relaxed, specially him. She only glows when posing with little siblings and nephews. Maybe I'm wrong, but her anniversary posts sound as a person who has never been loved as a child and she feels she won the lottery with her husband, and it's probably true. She feels like Cinderella with the Prince. But she uses such a fundie writing that text looses naturality and sounds less sincere than maybe is.

Michael never seems happy to me.  They ask her if she's happy to come back with Brandon for I Love You Day and she says (in a snarky voice) "It's better than not coming back with him."  I've often wondered about her, I can't exactly say why, and this is not fair because I'm not going to point to one specific incident, but she frequently looks mad to me.  

[BeaSnarky]

On 8/18/2016 at 8:42 PM, CorruptionInc. said:

I have two friends that are getting married in November.

They don't want kids yet, but they have said in 5 or 10 years, who knows?

People are already asking "when are you going to have kids?" and when they say: "not yet or maybe not at all" the whole room goes silent.

I don't understand how people think it's ok to ask about it. It's such a deeply personal choice. 

These are the same people who when I explain over and over again that everything has been removed because of medical reasons they still have this magical thought I can still get pregnant...

Also, my friend is allergic to latex so that makes things awkward.

My husband and I married later in life.  Four years ago (today, in fact) I found out I had stage 3 endometrial cancer.  This was exactly two days after we decided to try for just one.  I was 40 and he was 55. I had a total hysterectomy to save my life. We never told anyone about our plans one way or the other about babies.  I still have people asking me when we are going to have a baby, even those who know all those parts are gone bye bye.  And it is still a very painful question for me.  I am past being kind about my responses now.  I just out and say, "it's none of your damned business."  I still have people who will respond "Well, you know there's always adoption."  

 

 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, BeaSnarky said:

My husband and I married later in life.  Four years ago (today, in fact) I found out I had stage 3 endometrial cancer.  This was exactly two days after we decided to try for just one.  I was 40 and he was 55. I had a total hysterectomy to save my life. We never told anyone about our plans one way or the other about babies.  I still have people asking me when we are going to have a baby, even those who know all those parts are gone bye bye.  And it is still a very painful question for me.  I am past being kind about my responses now.  I just out and say, "it's none of your damned business."  I still have people who will respond "Well, you know there's always adoption."  

 

 

I'm really sorry. People can be such assholes about this type of stuff. 

And personally, I'm glad you don't stay polite anymore. It's no one else's business, it's intrusive, it's rude, and it can unintentionally cause a massive amount of emotional pain. Good for you for putting them in their place!

(And I hope you're doing better medically now. )

[catlady]

On ‎8‎/‎18‎/‎2016 at 9:11 PM, VelociRapture said:

I had two people ask about it at our wedding reception. My response?

I placed a hand on their shoulders and very calmly said we were leaving it up to God.

I got hysterical laughter each time. I'm not a religious person, which they know. It was a great way to turn an awkward question into a funny moment.

I'm a little late here, but my SIL's answer to people asking when I plan on having kids was, "Not today."  I adopted it too.  once, someone kept pushing the subject, so I took a page from Miss Manners and said, "Why do you ask?"  Miss M indicates that gets people flustered because they've been indirectly called for their nosiness.  my interrogator just said, "well, I'm curious."  (you mean nosy?!!)  I just said thank you and started talking about my cats, which invariably bores any listener.

[Casserole]

2 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

Michael never seems happy to me.  They ask her if she's happy to come back with Brandon for I Love You Day and she says (in a snarky voice) "It's better than not coming back with him."  I've often wondered about her, I can't exactly say why, and this is not fair because I'm not going to point to one specific incident, but she frequently looks mad to me.  

 

I think she was just born with resting bitch face and was raised in a culture where she was forced to smile at all times. And she's shy. I have RBF and my fake smiles look like I'm plotting to kill someone. I am also extremely shy/introverted and if I am out of my comfort zone/forced to socialize with strangers (or in Michaela's case - talk to a camera crew) I'd look angry as hell. My face gives me away every time, though I'm rarely ever mad. 

Or maybe she is mad; she has plenty of crap to be mad about in that family. 

[NewSeasonOfLife]

I did notice that no one on the show has asked Michael about having kids, at least since the wedding. In comparison Alyssa has been asked twice this season alone when they're having their next one, and with the Duggars' show it was discussed in literally every J&A episode until Anna found out she was pregnant. The fact they're staying so far away from it makes me think that 1) there's a problem not being made public, and/or 2) Brandon and/or Michael have somehow made the subject off-limits.