Tori Bates Courtship

[tumblr]

It appears there is a christian school attached to Crown College. No idea if this was known or not but perhaps Tori will be allowed to teach there?

[vienna]

Tori and Bobby sitting quite Close at the graduation party

(Picture from the bates Family blog)

[19 cats and counting]

1 hour ago, tumblr said:

It appears there is a christian school attached to Crown College. No idea if this was known or not but perhaps Tori will be allowed to teach there?

I'm not sure about Crown, but isn't there a Christian school attached to PCC?

Besides, if Bobby is in FL, she'd be the 2nd Bates girl to move there.

[nastyhobbitses]

7 hours ago, vienna said:

Tori and Bobby sitting quite Close at the graduation party

(Picture from the bates Family blog)

They are stirring up some desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled sitting that close! What next, front hugs?

[Exjw2015deed]

16 hours ago, faraway said:

I wonder about that too. In general, she strikes me as very different from Erin, Michael and Alyssa. Have we ever heard her talk about marriage and kids? 

Not anything that I can remember besides saying she will learn to cook when she gets a fella. And when the family asked who would get married next, Erin said tori, because she has a lot of male friends. They also discussed how she is firm and a great teacher/coach. Also that she started cooking not because she likes it, but because she saw the family needed help and offered because she was giving. 

Random, I was surprised Tori's name isn't a nickname for Victoria. Sort of how Jill s name isn't Jillian. Found it to be out of the ordinary. 

[19 cats and counting]

55 minutes ago, Exjw2015deed said:

Random, I was surprised Tori's name isn't a nickname for Victoria. Sort of how Jill s name isn't Jillian. Found it to be out of the ordinary. 

From what I've noticed, many fundie families aren't that fond of using full names.  Case in point Josie (Bates and Duggar) both have the legal name Josie, as opposed to it being a nickname for Josephine.  

Other Bates examples are Katie, Ellie, and Allie Webster.

[Hisey]

On 5/5/2016 at 3:47 AM, nelliebelle1197 said:

I don't find an adult doing something normal then running to mommy to confess his sins normal. It is not a "baby step" away from his parents. A step away would not include confessing his sins to mommy and feeling guilty for his downfall. Methinks many of you are confused over this much loved in Bateslanndia phrase "baby step". When my babies stepped, they continued to move forward. Not a single Bates has "baby stepped" since they were infants.

You are setting the bar high. I am setting the bar much lower.

However, OK.  .. I give up. You can't tell anything about the Bates. . . unless you can tell they are unhappy. You don't know anything from watching them on TV. . . unless you can tell they are "dangerous" and "just like their parents." And opinions are never allowed (unless they are opinions that conclude the Bates are just like the Duggars)

[QuiverDance]

I am not a fan of nickname names, but I don't think "Tori" or "Jill" qualify as particularly nicknamish.  I know they are derivative, but there are also popular as stand alones.  

Then again, it may be that it is the male shortened names that bother me more because I am trying to think of odious examples of nickname names off the top of my head, and they are all male:  Charlie, Jimmy, Bobby, Mike, Sam, etc.  

[BeccaGrim]

1 hour ago, QuiverDance said:

I am not a fan of nickname names, but I don't think "Tori" or "Jill" qualify as particularly nicknamish.  I know they are derivative, but there are also popular as stand alones.  

Then again, it may be that it is the male shortened names that bother me more because I am trying to think of odious examples of nickname names off the top of my head, and they are all male:  Charlie, Jimmy, Bobby, Mike, Sam, etc.  

I don't think of Jill as a nickname. I guess I think of Tori as Victoria but I've seen it alone too. 

[faraway]

I have met a Tori before, but I am definitely one to prefer full names. I have a "serious" longer name and I like that I have the option of a nickname, but can also use my full name in a formal setting. But I guess fundies don't do formal settings...

[19 cats and counting]

I used to babysit for a Tori but her given name is Victoria (which I've also known Vicky as a nickname).  Funny thing is some of the other Bates kids have longer given names (Zachary, Addallee) and go by less formal names (Zach, Addie).  They also have two kids who go by their middle names (in one case a shortened version of his middle name).  And then there's Michael/Michaela/Michaella's name debacle.  There's just no rhyme, reason, or consistency in how the Bates named their children (I'm starting to see it in the next generation too).   I guess thinking of 19 names will do that to you.

I have a name that can be shortened, but that was NOT allowed as a child and I just use my given name.  My best friend as a child gave me a nickname then and she's the only person allowed to use it.

[Coconutwater]

1 hour ago, faraway said:

I have met a Tori before, but I am definitely one to prefer full names. I have a "serious" longer name and I like that I have the option of a nickname, but can also use my full name in a formal setting. But I guess fundies don't do formal settings...

I prefer longer serious names as well for many reasons, it's not just fundies that do this, but when the kid grows up and creates a resume (this has been proven) employers tend to pass over what seems like a nickname and look at resumes with longer, more classic names, a Bobby will be passed over when there is a Robert or a William next to it. It looks like the applicant is more serious (I've worked in HR and my boss did just that) Jill and Tori aren't necessarily in the boat, but an Allie is. 

[faraway]

That's (unfortunately) so true. Not that a fundie girl (or guy) needs a resume though. God will provide! 

[TuringMachine]

The name I go by is a nickname. I have gone by it by birth since it was the name my parents actually picked out for me but my felt that I needed a "real" first name. This actually confused me when I was little because I ended up thinking that my real name was my nickname since so few people called me it.  Actually the name of street we lived on was the same as our last name which really confused my as a young child. Apparently at one point I thought my last name was our address, numbers and all.

[HereticHick]

8 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

From what I've noticed, many fundie families aren't that fond of using full names.  Case in point Josie (Bates and Duggar) both have the legal name Josie, as opposed to it being a nickname for Josephine.  

Other Bates examples are Katie, Ellie, and Allie Webster.

I don't think that is a fundy Christian thing; I think it is more regional and class based.

[Scribber]

I have a formal name, but have always gone by a nickname. 

My daughter (7) has always gone by a nickname. (When she was 2 my dad gave her a nickname, and now that's all she goes by. I'm not sure most of her friends actually know her "given name"  - but that was just by chance.) 

As for Josie, Tori and Jill? It must be regional - because I have known several of all 3 names, none of them being shortened versions of anything. 

[elliha]

I think that Tori and Josie sound like real names to me but it might be a cultural thing, in my country no one called Victoria or Josephine would shorten their names to those nicknames. I while I understand that it might be a pro when you get older to have the ful name version of your name it is still strange for me to name a child a name that you will not use anyway. If you are named Robert but always called Bobby then Bobby is in a sense your real name and not Robert. (My husband is a Robert who goes by Robert by the way)

[faraway]

5 hours ago, elliha said:

I think that Tori and Josie sound like real names to me but it might be a cultural thing, in my country no one called Victoria or Josephine would shorten their names to those nicknames.

I think Tori is pretty much a US thing. But I know Josephines who go by Josi(e) in Germany. What would a nickname for a Josephine be in Sweden? Or are nicknames not that common?

While most people call me by my nickname, my parents always call my full name. And my nickname would look ridiculous on paper. All famous women who go by that nickname have a longer full name, so I think it makes perfect sense. 

[elliha]

55 minutes ago, faraway said:

I think Tori is pretty much a US thing. But I know Josephines who go by Josi(e) in Germany. What would a nickname for a Josephine be in Sweden? Or are nicknames not that common?

While most people call me by my nickname, my parents always call my full name. And my nickname would look ridiculous on paper. All famous women who go by that nickname have a longer full name, so I think it makes perfect sense. 

For Josephine (or Josefine/Josefin as it is more commonly spelled) people use Josse, the pronounciation is not far from Josie but the length of the o is different and the end sound too. Jossan or more rarely Fina can also be used. 

I think that compared to the English-speaking world I think Swedes are slightly more restrictive in assuming that someone is OK with a nickname. Usually nicknames are used if the person introduces him/herself with a nickname and not if they only say their first name even if it is a name that has a common nickname. I think nicknames are slightly more personal here and something you are invited into using. In part I think this because Swedes don't use Mr/Mrs or Herr/Frau lastname very much and most people are on first name basis with everyone all the time. 

I have a lousy name for nicknames which I like because I don't like nicknames. I almost never use nicknames for people unless they insist on me using one or if they have a nickname that has almost become their real name. My brother's father in law has a very special nickname starting with T but his real name is a double name with a dash. When my mother died and we checked the list of people who had said yes to the more private memorial afterwards I said "Who the hell are J-E and C?" My sister looked at me and said "T and C" and I remembered that his T-name is not really his name and just a nickname.

[just...sare]

My father chose my name (Sarah) because it couldn't be shortened into a nickname, but now in my 30s I go almost exclusively by just "Sare" - even at work, the only people who call me "Sarah" are reading it from my name tag. (My father calls me by a nickname completely unrelated to my name, but will occasionally slip and call me Sare - never Sarah.)

 

My little sister is named "Jessie" and it's not short for anything, just Jessie. She goes exclusively by Jess.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

I have opposite problem.....I have a name that can be shorted into a nickname that I REALLY DON'T LIKE because I think it's ugly and the struggle is real trying to insist to people that I want to be called by the full version of my name. 

[RhythmicSkater]

I know a number of Tori's; most of them are Victorias, but never actually go by that. I also know a few Katies, Ellies, and an Allie that don't have a longer version of their names (this is in England/Scotland/Canada). At this point, I think names and nicknames are kind of a free-for-all, no matter what country you're in.

On a similar note, I have a name that is common in some form almost every country in the world, and everyone has a different nickname for it. It's pretty funny getting called a collection of names. 

 

[AnywhereButHere]

My son's name is a name in itself, but it can also be a nickname for a longer version of it. We figured it was short enough, so we'd never shorten it again. We do. I even hate the shortened (again) version, but it seems to be inevitable that I use it! 

[19 cats and counting]

12 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

I have opposite problem.....I have a name that can be shorted into a nickname that I REALLY DON'T LIKE because I think it's ugly and the struggle is real trying to insist to people that I want to be called by the full version of my name. 

I used to work with a Matthew who hated the name Matt.  His hill to die on was getting people not to call him Matt.

[just...sare]

13 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

I have opposite problem.....I have a name that can be shorted into a nickname that I REALLY DON'T LIKE because I think it's ugly and the struggle is real trying to insist to people that I want to be called by the full version of my name. 

my brother is the same way. His name is Alan and he HATES "Al".