Tori Bates Courtship

[nausicaa]

2 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I think Chad has an office job of something like office manager.  I can't remember his exact title.  That still doesn't pay a fortune, but it should cover rent or house payment and essentials in rural Tennessee.

In the scene in which Erin drops in on him at work on BuB, he's wearing dirty coveralls and has some sort of face cover pushed down. It seemed like he does something very hands on. Not that that necessarily means a lower salary (I mean, coal miners can make good money), but I got the feeling he was fairly entry level. Also, since the COL is lower in TN, I'd guess that starting salaries would be commensurately lower. 

I did forget about them getting lower rent for fixing up the house. I was wondering why on earth they were putting so much money and effort into a rental. 

I think I'm just wildly jealous that they live in an area in which a family can live well from one adult working full-time at an entry level job. 

[Coconut Flan]

Perhaps he was promoted or UP is lying.  From the UP website:

Quote

As seen on “19 Kids and Counting,” Erin (23) married Chad Paine on November 2, 2013.

The newlyweds live in

Clinton, TN, close to the rest of the

Bates family. Chad is the office manager for Noble Metals, Inc.

 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

PS My husband is from East Tennessee (I'm from just over the state line) and its  my tribal homeland. I've been to Melbourne.  No offense to you Aussies, but East Tennessee is prettier than Melbourne.

 

 

 

Oh you don't live in Melbourne because it's pretty. You live in Melbourne for the food, sport and festivals of stuff !

Rural TN looks beautiful from what I've seen of it on their instagrams, but the lifestyle pace/more conservative society there would do my head in. 

[Granwych]

On ‎5‎/‎9‎/‎2016 at 4:36 PM, stevie said:

My name is Stevie and I am a girl. I'm named after the lovely Stevie Nicks. People ask me all the time what my name is short for and I say it's just Stevie. Some people say that is so cute some say that is weird. I've been asked why I have a boys names. I don't really see as a boys name or girls because it's to me it's technically a nickname for Steven or Stephanie. It just so happens my parents didn't want to give me a "full" name. Some people shorten it to Steve sometimes I really don't care if they do. Sometimes other people yell at the people calling me Steve and will say "her name is Stevie not Steve!" I just say I don't really care. It's not that big of a deal to me. I don't like it though when people see my name on list and pronounce it as Steve there's clearly an "I" in there. I get annoyed by that

You can always tell people you were named for Steve Maxwell.  Or Steve Anderson.

Really, truly, just kidding!!

[LawsonBatesEgo]

59 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Perhaps he was promoted or UP is lying.  From the UP website:

 

I wouldn't put it past them to lie, but if it is a small business, could it be that he does both? 

I say this because one of my good friends husband took over his family's upholstery business. He is technically the office manager along with my friend, but he's always happy to roll up his sleeves and help with the upholstery itself whenever needed. 

[Granwych]

7 hours ago, elliha said:

It is just so darn rude to not even try to learn to say a person's name. I have had a few students whose names I have failed to learn even after some effort to learn them and they have told me to say x instead if I like. Most of the time I can at least manage an acceptable pronunciation, it is really about wanting to learn how to say someone's name.

My name is a bit hard for English speakers if they want to pronounce it the same way I do myself but I am totally OK with people using an English pronunciation if they like or if they can't say it the way I do.

There are two casinos near me, with a sizeable number of Asian employees.  Many of them choose an "American" name and go by that, using their Chinese name at home.

[elliha]

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

There are two casinos near me, with a sizeable number of Asian employees.  Many of them choose an "American" name and go by that, using their Chinese name at home.

Yes, one of my colleagues is Chinese and has chosen a Swedish name. He said it is because Swedes are so bad at pronouncing Chinese names and he didn't want to teach every single person how to say his name so he just picked one that was similar to his Chinese name. This is his choice though and no one else forced him. I may well do the same would I live permanently were people kept butchering my name. 

[Kak]

The Tenessee on BUB looks absolutely beautiful. I would love to see it in person.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

1 hour ago, elliha said:

Yes, one of my colleagues is Chinese and has chosen a Swedish name. He said it is because Swedes are so bad at pronouncing Chinese names and he didn't want to teach every single person how to say his name so he just picked one that was similar to his Chinese name. This is his choice though and no one else forced him. I may well do the same would I live permanently were people kept butchering my name. 

I attend a University with a large number of Chinese international students attending and a lot of them choose an "English" name to go by for a similar reason....they don't feel like having their name absolutely butchered by everyone and/or don't feel like teaching every person they meet how to say their name. 

I think sometimes people are a bit too quick not to make the effort to learn how to say someone's name, but I know with one of my surnames, the rolled-r sound is almost impossible for native English speakers who haven't grown up speaking Spanish to say and I can't get made at them for not being able to say it. At least as my second surname, it gets dropped a lot. 

[InThePrayerCloset]

5 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Oh you don't live in Melbourne because it's pretty. You live in Melbourne for the food, sport and festivals of stuff !

Rural TN looks beautiful from what I've seen of it on their instagrams, but the lifestyle pace/more conservative society there would do my head in. 

No you come to Sydney because it's pretty (queue Aussie State of Origin dispute...) This is a photo of my local gym... not too shabby!

But yes, you definitely go to Melbourne for the amazing food, wine, culture, art, comedy and culture. 

The mountains of Tennessee look amazing, but i don't know that I could deal with the politics or lack of vino! I go stir-crazy when i visit family in Alabama...

 

 

[Melissa1977]

Is rental an approved fundie thing? I thought you couldn't get married if you cannot buy a house in cash.

I'm joking, I know young couples cannot easily buy houses, specially debt-free. But it's funny how Bates admire Chad&Erin despite they:

-Rent a house and cannot buy

-Wife is working even after having a child

-Husband works for a boss, instead of having his own business (or instead of grifting ministering).

In fact, Gil gave up a good job, throwing his kids into poverty, to avoid having a boss. And he's proud of himself.

[HereticHick]

I wonder if either house is a "rent to own" situation.

 

 

[Snarkle]

I wonder if part of the reason Erin & Chad chose to rent at first was partially because they originally said that they were staying in the area until Erin completed her degree, and then they'd probably move on, but at this point they're pretty well rooted.  

And as for names, my roommate in college was from Taiwan and she adopted the name "Kim" as a first name while she was in the US.  She said she was advised by others to choose a more "American" name (I can't remember her Taiwanese name other than it started with an L and wasn't that hard to pronounce), and this was over 20 years ago, so clearly there is a trend to adopt a new name.

[BeccaGrim]

50 minutes ago, Snarkle said:

I wonder if part of the reason Erin & Chad chose to rent at first was partially because they originally said that they were staying in the area until Erin completed her degree, and then they'd probably move on, but at this point they're pretty well rooted.  

And as for names, my roommate in college was from Taiwan and she adopted the name "Kim" as a first name while she was in the US.  She said she was advised by others to choose a more "American" name (I can't remember her Taiwanese name other than it started with an L and wasn't that hard to pronounce), and this was over 20 years ago, so clearly there is a trend to adopt a new name.

Remembering the way the Bates lived before the Duggars and friends updated their house, I wouldn't be surprised if Erin and Chad stick ten kids in that two bedroom house.  One bathroom with all those kids--ack.  They'll have to rent protables to keep outside...

[nausicaa]

12 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Perhaps he was promoted or UP is lying.  From the UP website:

 

Weird. Maybe he's like a shift supervisor and so does hands on work while also managing employees?

[just...sare]

I guess the name pronunciation thing goes both ways. I work (behind the scenes) in a funeral home where we serve many, many people with hard to pronounce Polish and Ukrainian names. When the families come in I ask them how to pronounce it, just so that we aren't butchering it every time we say it. Sometimes people get annoyed. "Oh, I'm sorry, if you don't want to help me say it we'll just go back to calling you the Wha-mumble-mumble family because that's the best we could come up with on our own." I mean, we've had some practice. And we make educated guesses. But if we can't wrap our tongues around it and they won't help us...

Conversely, a lot of families really appreciate it and are pleased when they come in the next time, or phone, and everyone from the door man to the receptionist to the funeral director is pronouncing the name flawlessly.

[OyToTheVey]

18 minutes ago, just...sare said:

I guess the name pronunciation thing goes both ways. I work (behind the scenes) in a funeral home where we serve many, many people with hard to pronounce Polish and Ukrainian names. When the families come in I ask them how to pronounce it, just so that we aren't butchering it every time we say it. Sometimes people get annoyed. "Oh, I'm sorry, if you don't want to help me say it we'll just go back to calling you the Wha-mumble-mumble family because that's the best we could come up with on our own." I mean, we've had some practice. And we make educated guesses. But if we can't wrap our tongues around it and they won't help us...

Conversely, a lot of families really appreciate it and are pleased when they come in the next time, or phone, and everyone from the door man to the receptionist to the funeral director is pronouncing the name flawlessly.

I'm Russian Ukrainian, I have to say I got lucky in the name department. Mine is super short and very easy to pronounce. Some of my friends not so lucky. I have family that legally shortened their last names because it was like 15 letters long lol

Even with my super short easy name people insist on Americanizing it. My names Elina, not Ellen. I don't want to be called Ellen. And yet they still do. 

[just...sare]

8 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

I'm Russian Ukrainian, I have to say I got lucky in the name department. Mine is super short and very easy to pronounce. Some of my friends not so lucky. I have family that legally shortened their last names because it was like 15 letters long lol

Even with my super short easy name people insist on Americanizing it. My names Elina, not Ellen. I don't want to be called Ellen. And yet they still do. 

This thread is making me crazy with sympathy for all of you who have people arguing with you about how to say your name or which name you want to use. There's not much in the world that's more personal and specific to you than your name. It's your name. Why anyone feels it's up for debate is beyond me.

I'm lucky- there are only two tiny variations in the way to pronounce my name. I say it the french way, Sa-rah, most people say it the english way, Sar-ah (which makes more sense since my nickname is Sare but whatever). It doesn't matter to me. My maiden last name was tricky but my married name is only four letters and couldn't be easier to spell or say.

[feministxtian]

10 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

I think sometimes people are a bit too quick not to make the effort to learn how to say someone's name, but I know with one of my surnames, the rolled-r sound is almost impossible for native English speakers who haven't grown up speaking Spanish to say and I can't get made at them for not being able to say it. At least as my second surname, it gets dropped a lot. 

I am sort of glad my father signed my birth certificate...my full name at birth is a mouthful but it would have been worse had my mother signed that birth certificate....it would have read "continued on next page". My mother was Cuban so from her I got the Spanish pronunciation of my name (similar to a couple of states in the south just pronounced differently) growing up, however I use the americanized spelling and pronunciation of it (like a certain assassinated president's daughter)...and it still gets screwed up...I mean, really, read it, sound it out and you'll figure out the correct pronunciation! My maiden name was a mouthful, very German and very unusual (as in, to the best of my knowledge there may be one other person in the US with the same last name). My married name is very simple and people STILL manage to screw that one up!!!

[eandre31]

My name is Elyse. I can't count how many times I've been called "Elsie". I hated my name growing up because of that.  I hated correcting people and i hated hearing "wow what an unusual name". A gym teacher pronounced my name like "Easly" once. Yes, like easily. What?

 Now that my name is rising in popularity, however, more people pronounce it right. 

[JordynDarby5]

11 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

I attend a University with a large number of Chinese international students attending and a lot of them choose an "English" name to go by for a similar reason....they don't feel like having their name absolutely butchered by everyone and/or don't feel like teaching every person they meet how to say their name. 

I think sometimes people are a bit too quick not to make the effort to learn how to say someone's name, but I know with one of my surnames, the rolled-r sound is almost impossible for native English speakers who haven't grown up speaking Spanish to say and I can't get made at them for not being able to say it. At least as my second surname, it gets dropped a lot. 

I think your right. But they should. I've worked with plenty of people who've had hard to pronounce names and I worked hard to pronounce them correctly. Some may take more then a few tries but I'll get it.

[twinmama]

2 hours ago, eandre31 said:

My name is Elyse. I can't count how many times I've been called "Elsie". I hated my name growing up because of that.  I hated correcting people and i hated hearing "wow what an unusual name". A gym teacher pronounced my name like "Easly" once. Yes, like easily. What?

 Now that my name is rising in popularity, however, more people pronounce it right. 

Elyse reminds me of Family Ties!!! 

[eandre31]

23 minutes ago, twinmama said:

Elyse reminds me of Family Ties!!! 

Lol! That's where my mom heard of the name. She guessed on how to spell it -thus the "Y" instead of the "I"

[twinmama]

1 hour ago, eandre31 said:

Lol! That's where my mom heard of the name. She guessed on how to spell it -thus the "Y" instead of the "I"

According to Wikipedia, Elyse from Family Ties also spelled it with a Y!

[just...sare]

I was just scrolling Facebook and saw this. I've no idea where it's from but it's pretty topical.

I think it's fairly small but honestly I have no idea how to put it in a spoiler tag, I'm sorry.

 

Spoiler