Ben, Jessa, Spurgeon Six

[princessmahina]

2 hours ago, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

My husband and I are newlyweds and both work full time. Don't get me wrong, I find him incredibly hot (he's ex-Army Old Guard, been featured in a male hunk calendar). We both have our interests separate and together. But sometimes, I come home and think, "I love you to pieces, but you're annoying the shit out of me right now." I can't fathom the dynamic of Ben and Jessa. Maybe baby Spurge-a-lurge keeps her mind occupied.

I think I would go insane if I had to listen to Ben's ramblings all day with no respite except for Sierra. 

[lascuba]

2 hours ago, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

My husband and I are newlyweds and both work full time. Don't get me wrong, I find him incredibly hot (he's ex-Army Old Guard, been featured in a male hunk calendar). We both have our interests separate and together. But sometimes, I come home and think, "I love you to pieces, but you're annoying the shit out of me right now." I can't fathom the dynamic of Ben and Jessa. Maybe baby Spurge-a-lurge keeps her mind occupied.

I feel that way about every single person I've lived with or otherwise spend a significant amount of time. People who can spend all day every day with someone and not want to murder them completely blow my mind.

[Bad Wolf]

Both retired now, so we're at home together a lot. However, we do our own thing in different rooms much of the time.

[nst]

5 hours ago, paulypepper said:

and her last sentence "excited to do life with you" ...sounds like they're going to prison....

that is so her bad grammar - yes ?

or she thinks it's ok 

5 hours ago, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

Reminds me of old Jersey Shore episodes where they would always say, "Do sex." As in, "Let's do sex."

this made ROFL 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

Yep, most weeknights I'm by the main TV watching just about EVERY incarnation of "The Real Housewives" on Bravo and he's in his man cave playing Heroes of the Storm on the computer and grunting at the screen. Where we both agree on the TV is Sunday nights watching Game of Thrones.        

[anotherone]

4 hours ago, lascuba said:

I feel that way about every single person I've lived with or otherwise spend a significant amount of time. People who can spend all day every day with someone and not want to murder them completely blow my mind.

Interesting read

Www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_attn.html

They recommend 15 hrs per week of "undivided" attention.( cant be watching tv together, etc.)

[princessmahina]

On 5/20/2016 at 4:54 PM, anotherone said:

Interesting read

Www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_attn.html

They recommend 15 hrs per week of "undivided" attention.( cant be watching tv together, etc.)

That's a little over two hours a day. I'm not sure I could talk to my significant other for two solid hours a day without having something-- a documentary, a book, etc-- around to talk about. I would think after a week or two we'd run out of things to say.

Edited to add that now that I realize sex can be a part of that, two hours a day doesn't sound difficult at all. Or maybe I'm just a pervert. 

[nastyhobbitses]

All this reminds me of that bit in Ella Enchanted where Lucinda the Fairy curses a newlywed couple to "always be together", which means they can never spend any time apart, ever. Lucinda doesn't realize why this would destroy a marriage.

Personally, I felt myself going a little batty when I hosted my younger sister for a week in my studio apartment; I could not imagine spending my entire life with someone where I'd have zero breaks from them or my own space/time to be apart from them sometimes. And nothing turns me off faster than a clingy person; I had a boyfriend who would text damn near constantly when we were apart, acted like me living a state away was like me getting deployed to Afghanistan or something, was convinced we were going to get married within three years (hahahahaahahahahaha no), would write these cheesy love notes about how much he MISSED ME SO MUCH (dude you saw me in person like three weeks ago and we've been Skyping all the goddamn time and you text me every five fucking minutes, chill out), and just generally glommed onto me like a lamprey eel. Nothing made me feel more free than dumping his ass.

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

Yep yep yep to all of this. Actually, this is all really relevant to me because I had a discussion with my new(ish) boyfriend about this recently. He was worried that when I went quiet or didn't talk for a while I was sad or in a bad mood. I explained that as an only child I am completely happy with silence and need time for recharging my batteries. 

[MatthewDuggar]

11 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I had a boyfriend who would text damn near constantly when we were apart, acted like me living a state away was like me getting deployed to Afghanistan or something, was convinced we were going to get married within three years (hahahahaahahahahaha no), would write these cheesy love notes about how much he MISSED ME SO MUCH (dude you saw me in person like three weeks ago and we've been Skyping all the goddamn time and you text me every five fucking minutes, chill out), and just generally glommed onto me like a lamprey eel. Nothing made me feel more free than dumping his ass.

Wow, that is clingy!  I hope he found a partner that loves all that. Some do.

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

Stage 5 clingers

[nastyhobbitses]

8 hours ago, MatthewDuggar said:

Wow, that is clingy!  I hope he found a partner that loves all that. Some do.

I mean, this guy has more issues than Vogue and I really do try to understand that some of it is mental problems that are no fault of his own, but after all the shit I went through in our relationship (TLDR he repeatedly violated my boundaries, both emotional and physical), I just can't bring myself to care or empathize, and I pity the next girl he latches onto.

[anotherone]

Bit o' trivia:

The founder of the Hallmark card company was named Joyce C. Hall. His mother named him after a Methodist preacher, Isaac W. Joyce, who she was impressed with.  He, not surprisingly, hated his name.  Eventually he took the middle name Clyde. 

So Ben wasn't the first to name a kid after a preacher's last name.  And like Joyce, I'm guessing Spurge will go on to hate his name as well.

I thought this was interesting because I never knew it was a thing to name your kid after a preacher.  Why they didn't just use Charles and Isaac, who knows...

[Ungodly Grandma]

1 hour ago, anotherone said:

Bit o' trivia:

The founder of the Hallmark card company was named Joyce C. Hall. His mother named him after a Methodist preacher, Isaac W. Joyce, who she was impressed with.  He, not surprisingly, hated his name.  Eventually he took the middle name Clyde. 

So Ben wasn't the first to name a kid after a preacher's last name.  And like Joyce, I'm guessing Spurge will go on to hate his name as well.

I thought this was interesting because I never knew it was a thing to name your kid after a preacher.  Why they didn't just use Charles and Isaac, who knows...

To be honest, except that Joyce is a girl's name, Clyde and Isaac are not really any better!

[Thorns]

8 minutes ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

To be honest, except that Joyce is a girl's name, Clyde and Isaac are not really any better!

Isaac (or Isak) is one of the more popular names in Norway right now

[Ungodly Grandma]

6 minutes ago, Thorns said:

Isaac (or Isak) is one of the more popular names in Norway right now

And people in the Bible Belt name their little girls Nevaeh. Of course it is all subjective.

I want to go to Norway, very badly. Hopefully, next June, as I want to experience midnight sun.

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

I have a friend named Isaac. Also, my relative works in a school for littlies, and she's seen a whole bunch of Isaacs and Jacobs recently - I think the biblical names are making a comeback among non-fundies

[Thorns]

4 minutes ago, Ungodly Grandma said:

And people in the Bible Belt name their little girls Nevaeh. Of course it is all subjective.

I want to go to Norway, very badly. Hopefully, next June, as I want to experience midnight sun.

Yes to both! I find names (and naming) fascinating. I hope kids is in my future, but I dread picking a name. It is a huge thing to decide for someone! And some does a more... creative... and less...mainstream...than others.

Nevaeh just seem weird to me - don't tip off the mumsnet -types, or ut will suddenly be the new It name  Hm, it might be rather pretty depending on pronounciation. 

The midnight sun is cool, but I much prefer the aurora borealis Too bad it is a little hard to get both one the same time (it does happens though!). Summer is a more touristy time, and unless you like winter sports, a great time for sightseeing  

 

[Ungodly Grandma]

26 minutes ago, Thorns said:

Yes to both! I find names (and naming) fascinating. I hope kids is in my future, but I dread picking a name. It is a huge thing to decide for someone! And some does a more... creative... and less...mainstream...than others.

Nevaeh just seem weird to me - don't tip off the mumsnet -types, or ut will suddenly be the new It name  Hm, it might be rather pretty depending on pronounciation. 

The midnight sun is cool, but I much prefer the aurora borealis Too bad it is a little hard to get both one the same time (it does happens though!). Summer is a more touristy time, and unless you like winter sports, a great time for sightseeing  

 

Very good points, all. I'd love to see Aurora borealis, too. I do love winter. When to go, what to do?

[MadameOvary]

22 minutes ago, Thorns said:

 

Nevaeh just seem weird to me - don't tip off the mumsnet -types, or ut will suddenly be the new It name  Hm, it might be rather pretty depending on pronounciation. 

I think you must be thinking of Netmums, not Mumsnet. Unless you meant it generically. Nevaeh and other made-up names are much derided by the wise and witty Mumsnetters.   Not that I spend much time there, oh no.

I'm not terribly fond of biblical names, but last name as first name is worse in my book. Especially one as horrid as Spurgeon.

[Four is Enough]

Nevaeh is Heaven, backwards. Fundy "I'm not worthy" type naming... not as pushy as "heistheway" but still makes a point.

[Thorns]

37 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Nevaeh is Heaven, backwards. Fundy "I'm not worthy" type naming... not as pushy as "heistheway" but still makes a point

1 hour ago, MadameOvary said:

I think you must be thinking of Netmums, not Mumsnet. Unless you meant it generically. Nevaeh and other made-up names are much derided by the wise and witty Mumsnetters.   Not that I spend much time there, oh no

 The c

 

The quoting went shebang... Whatever.

I did totally catch Heaven backwards....oh yes I did, got it right away...! Or maybe I pronounced it like a lofty teenager, fiercly denying "I would NEVAH EVAH....!"

And I ment it generically. Must be one for every nation (Nevah evah been lurking there either, oh no! (No kids, but so much entertainment...!))

[Ungodly Grandma]

1 hour ago, MadameOvary said:

i'm not terribly fond of biblical names, but last name as first name is worse in my book. Especially one as horrid as Spurgeon.

Last names as first names can sound pretentious. Not always, but often enough. 

Back when yuppies were a thing I met a couple who named their baby Chancellor. Not a family name or anything, 

they felt it made him sound important. Ok.

[Chicken bones]

Back on my family history (early last century) was a cousin named "Major" as a first name. Imagine how goofy it was when he entered the army for WWII as a private....

[fraurosena]

8 minutes ago, Chicken bones said:

Back on my family history (early last century) was a cousin named "Major" as a first name. Imagine how goofy it was when he entered the army for WWII as a private....

Now that's a scene that would fit right into HIMYM....