Maxwells vote for Ted Cruz

[kpmom]

9 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Reminded me of when $cientology's David Miscavige instructed everyone to re-buy the whole Scientology canon, which had been republished (with important parts included that had previously been left out. Or something).

The Maxwells did the same thing not long ago with their Keeping Hearts book.  Some of the younger kids, now adults, added their "testimonies" to the book.  Otherwise, the book was exactly the same.  I wonder if any of their customers fell for that and bought the book again?

The funny thing is, I think any one here on FJ who keeps up with the Maxwells could write a testimony as the reversals would write it and be spot on.  I sincerely doubt there were any great revelations in the reversals testimonies making it worth buying the book again.

 

[VodouDoll]

Well, the latest Dad's Corner just hit my inbox. Steve one time almost broke the crock pot and abortion is another big mistake. He definitely doesn't sound crazy at all.

[Trynn]

Not to mention all the people who will be out of a job.

I fucking hate Ted Cruz. I think I hate him more than Donald Trump because at least Donald Trump is aware of what a dickhead he is.

Well, when things like this put people out of jobs is happily have my tax dollars go to training them for different jobs.... Oh wait.... No taxes.... Sorry guys, guess you're just screwed.

Not counting the title, Sarah's entry on the Cruz rally contained 9 sentences and 5 exclamation remarks and 0 substance. She thinks he is solid, genuine, and would make a phenomenal president but doesn't give any specific reason  why except that Cruz is amazing!  It's like reading a child's take on a political rally, or come to think of it, the circus:  It was amazing! We were thrilled!

Then she closes with this bible verse:

“Honour all men. Love the brotherhood.

Fear God. Honour the king.”

1 Peter 2:17

Which has what to do with voting for Cruz?  Honour all men seems more like a command to honour everyone running for President-- they are all amazeballs. Honour the king sounds like a command to honour Obama-- has she ever written anything complimentary about President Obama?

The verse says honor all MEN. I think it's a subtle jab at Hillary.

[Marian the Librarian]

53 minutes ago, VodouDoll said:

Well, the latest Dad's Corner just hit my inbox. Steve one time almost broke the crock pot and abortion is another big mistake. He definitely doesn't sound crazy at all.

From the latest Dad's Corner:

Quote

Some decisions, such as my crockpot fiasco, are correctable. Others have eternal consequences such as the “moms” who choose to get an abortion.

Note the quotation marks around "moms." Steve, you really are a pig.

[molecule]

Below today's Seriously is this:

Quote

Posted in: Child Training, Dad's Corner, Seriously

Child Training? Really?

What did he do to speed up the crockpot, anyway? The best option might have been to put the food in the oven or on the stove.

[mango_fandango]

2 hours ago, Marian the Librarian said:

From the latest Dad's Corner:

Note the quotation marks around "moms." Steve, you really are a pig.

What a douche. Fuck off, Steve.

[Marian the Librarian]

Hey Stevie - here's a little mid-March musical message, from me to you.

 

 

[16strong]

Speed up a Crock Pot? What a dufus. If you're in a hurry, a Crock Pot is the last cooking method you'd want to use.

[WonderingInWA]

3 minutes ago, 16strong said:

Speed up a Crock Pot? What a dufus. If you're in a hurry, a Crock Pot is the last cooking method you'd want to use.

Right?  And he's an engineer, so I'm trying to figure out exactly what kind of thing he rigged up that he thought would speed it up that almost burned the counter?  Did he prop it up and light a bunch of Sterno pots underneath it?  Bunsen burners?  I'd love for him to expand on that, but even if he's asked, he won't.  Because the point of  his "corner" isn't about his own mistake but more importantly about the evils of women who choose abortion.

[Coconut Flan]

Maybe he put it on a hotplate??  I'm still not sure that would burn the counter but just empty the crockpot and cook it using the stove.  Further proof he lacks good sense.

[Peas n carrots]

I don't get the dad's corners but I'm wondering if Steve meant a pressure cooker?

[kpmom]

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I remembered the crock pot story when he told it in a Dad's Corner years ago.

I went looking for the link and here it is;

http://articles.titus2.com/aspects-of-being-a-good-leader-part-3/

[WonderingInWA]

4 minutes ago, kpmom said:

I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I remembered the crock pot story when he told it in a Dad's Corner years ago.

I went looking for the link and here it is;

http://articles.titus2.com/aspects-of-being-a-good-leader-part-3/

Excellent find!  So towels and a wooden cutting board.  Hm.  Well, I'm sure he was just trying to prove men don't belong in the kitchen.

[Marian the Librarian]

Because it's just too good not to quote in its entirety:

Quote

 

On Christmas Eve I was cooking Mexican meat for the family. It still had quite a bit of juice to cook off in the crock pot, so I thought I would help it along. I overruled the check in my spirit that told me I was about to violate the rules of crock pot use. I wrapped a couple towels around it so it would hold more of the heat in and boil off the juice more quickly. It worked great, as I had hoped it would, but as I removed the towels I saw something I hadn’t counted on. The towels were actually scorched, and the crock pot’s plastic feet had melted. The cutting board I had placed it on was split from the intense heat, and the counter top was too hot even to touch. Could it have ignited? I don’t know for sure, but I do know it was one of the dumbest decisions I have ever made.

 

Mansplaining to the crockpot - that's our Stevie!

[rosalitta]

Wait so not only was Steve trying to overheat his crockpot to cook faster, his goal was to cook off excess liquid?  This is what stoves are for Steve!  

[Marian the Librarian]

Slow cookers don't reduce liquid content, they increase it. But far be it from me - a lowly, worthless female - to offer up that little bit of culinary wisdom to Stevehovah, lord and master of all he surveys.

(Another hint: they're perfect for making yogurt at home.)

[Anonymousguest]

2 minutes ago, Marian the Librarian said:

Slow cookers don't reduce liquid content, they increase it. But far be it from me - a lowly, worthless female - to offer up that little bit of culinary wisdom to Stevehovah, lord and master of all he surveys.

(Another hint: they're perfect for making yogurt at home.)

Oh, if you leave them on high long enough all the liquid boils away. And you end up with a roast that is both mushy and dry. It can also happen if you check the crockpot and forget to put the lid back on. 

[CyborgKin]

Quote

I overruled the check in my spirit that told me I was about to violate the rules of crock pot use.

Wow, I wish I got a check in my spirit when I was about to violate a rule of kitchen appliance use, or cooking in general.  Maybe I'm not spiritual enough for God to give me cooking tips.

[anjulibai]

What the hell is Mexican meat? 

[PennySycamore]

@anjulibai, it's probably ground hamburger with 1/2 teaspoon of chili powder in it, in the Maxhell household.

[bertnee]

Quote

Exercising great caution, he listened for a moment to make certain no one was about to come up the stairs before giving the shoe a mighty kick. Off it sailed into the air. The trajectory carried the shoe so that it was still over five feet in the air at the bottom of the stairs. Unfortunately, my quietly walking wife was just rounding the corner and starting up the basement stairs where her face was on a collision course with the projectile. To everyone’s relief, her reflexes were good, and her hand was able to intercept the flying shoe just prior to facial impact. Her hand was sore, but the wound would have been worse had it been her face.

Leave it to Steve to tell a story that could be funny in the most boring, robotic way possible. 

[mausi]

On 17 March 2016 at 9:17 AM, Peas n carrots said:

I don't get the dad's corners but I'm wondering if Steve meant a pressure cooker?

His house is a pressure cooker.

[MamaJunebug]

A degreed aeronautical engineer. 

Wrapped towels around an electrical appliance on a flammable base. 

To speed the cooking down of meat juices in an appliance *designed* to help secrete juices from meats. 

Why! Do! Any! Of! His! Followers! Pay! Him! Any! Attention!?

He promotes family propagation and has four failures-to-launch among his oldest 4 children* -- why! Listen! To! His! Instructions!!???

i will never - if I live to be 100, heaven forfend - comprehend what people find laudable about this clown!

*2 failed courtships for Nate, 1 for Joe, a puppy-not-kids for PS -- yes, I call that 4 failures-to-launch --- and he's a revered expert??!! Among what group of barely sentient beings, please?!!

 

[Granwych]

9 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Wow, I wish I got a check in my spirit when I was about to violate a rule of kitchen appliance use, or cooking in general.  Maybe I'm not spiritual enough for God to give me cooking tips.

Or maybe you're a good cook who doesn't need spiritual guidance with appliances!

1 hour ago, bertnee said:

Leave it to Steve to tell a story that could be funny in the most boring, robotic way possible. 

Impossible!!  He wrote a book about making one's children into brilliant conversationalists!  (Which failed to light conversational fires under the vast majority of readers)

[anjulibai]

2 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@anjulibai, it's probably ground hamburger with 1/2 teaspoon of chili powder in it, in the Maxhell household.

You are probably right, sadly. Cultural aware, the Maxwells are not.