Jessa, Ben, and Spurgeon part 4

[DuggarWatch]

10 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Can't say I know of a Duggar who is like that!

Apart from maybe Deanna - she seems to be the only one that goes to work.

Really?  Where does Deanna work????

[quiverofdoubt]

4 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

*sigh*  I get so depressed reading stuff like this. I guess I'll never know what it's like to have a "typical" child.

But you know what it's like to have an amazing child, and one who has to fight to overcome odds against him. Not much compensation i know, sorry  and your child knows what it's like to have an amazing mother.

[nst]

12 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

*sigh*  I get so depressed reading stuff like this. I guess I'll never know what it's like to have a "typical" child.

imo he is still special regardless of whether he is " typical" or not 

[CorruptionInc.]

26 minutes ago, DuggarWatch said:

Really?  Where does Deanna work????

Complete assumption on my part.

However I don't think she gets to share the TLC money so my assumption based on that is she goes to work?

[Chickenbutt]

1 hour ago, ClaraOswin said:

*sigh*  I get so depressed reading stuff like this. I guess I'll never know what it's like to have a "typical" child.

@ClaraOswinPlease to explain what a "typical" kid is.... Every child is different. No two are alike and everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Your child, I suspect, has many things that "typical" children don't. I do know that your child has a loving, caring, devoted mother who wants the best for her child within his limitations. That is not to say that he won't exceed those limitations. Remember, he is not "typical" so who knows what he can achieve.

[anotherone]

2 hours ago, twinmama said:

That all makes sense. I am probably lookoing at it from my POV as a creative person. I took all of the math courses, up to Honors Calculus, in high school and did really well in them (math nerd! Woot!), but I got a liberal arts degree, then a masters in film production so all the math practice was basically useless for me.

I'll bet the math is not useless for you, you just don't realize how much you are using it in every day life.  I'll bet that when you are evaluating the price of a car and the terms for a lease vs. a loan vs. paying upfront vs. more features vs. extended warranty, you can make decisions based on some concrete numbers.  Same with buying a house, you can evaluate the best mortgage terms, such as 15/30 yrs vs. points up front vs. lower % rate, or even if you don't know how to do it at the time, you will have the confidence that you could learn how mortgages work if you just browse a few internet sites.  Or you can understand statistics behind health decisions when judging a study that evaluates, for example, take a high cholesterol drug vs. changing one's diet vs. losing weight, or what health insurance to get and the effect of a high or low deductible.  Those kinds of things.  Some people get very intimidated by the numbers that they end up not making the best decisions for their family .  Any kind of background in math helps that everyday stuff.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

7 hours ago, quiverofdoubt said:

I would keep in mind that the order wasn't: unschooled, then discovered competition, then made it their life.  It's generally the opposite path with these competitions. the children/parents have a certain competition take over their life, and find that other activities and school gets in the way. so they drop out and focus on the competition and call it unschooling. You see similar stories with the spelling bee/bible bee/pageants/olympic hopefuls etc. Not really healthy for anyone imo, to be so intensely focused on one competition and have your whole image/self worth wrapped up into it.

Ugh, I hate Bible Bee. That is all. 

[Karma]

8 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

*sigh*  I get so depressed reading stuff like this. I guess I'll never know what it's like to have a "typical" child.

I think it's pretty normal to feel like this when you have a child who has a delay or disability.  From my personal experience with my son, I've felt a sense of grief that he will not have the life that I wanted for him. I've felt plenty of depression over the years.   I've felt pity for him, because it must be hard being him and getting through life with his challenges.  I've felt pity for me, my husband and our daughter because in so many ways his disabilities have changed our life.  I've felt anger that others don't appreciate how difficult it is to have a special needs child.  I've felt relief that we are in the financial position to get him the help that he needs. I've felt resentment - why my child? I've felt relief that his disabilities are not as severe as other kids.  I've felt guilt for thinking that.  I've felt frustration with the schooling system.  I feel hope that one day he will hopefully be able to live independently with some support.  I've felt angry.  So many feelings.  I think it's pretty normal to feel like this.

 

[foreign fundie]

10 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

*sigh*  I get so depressed reading stuff like this. I guess I'll never know what it's like to have a "typical" child.

So sorry if these 'succes stories' make you feel bad. If it helps, the child I wrote about that did so well in home schooling and now in middle school has physical disabilities and is currently in a wheel chair. We are forever in and out of hospital with her which is one of the reasons we do not use conventional schooling for her. We hope that eventually she will be able to function normally but she will always look different. So she will have more battles to fight as she comes of age. But when a child is limited in some way, their succeses become more wonderful and as a proud mummy I like to share them. I realize that if you don't know the whole story it sounds like a bragging mum looking down on other mums and their not so good kids. But I am with you. It hurts to see other children do things your kid can't. But every victory is worth a celebration, and even just the fact that they keep fighting is amazing. Brownie points and blessings to you as you fight along.

[JenniferJuniper]

10 hours ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Complete assumption on my part.

However I don't think she gets to share the TLC money so my assumption based on that is she goes to work?

I've wondered about Deanna as well.  I've never heard she worked but she's hardly ever on the show so TLC is not supporting her.   If I recall correctly her house looked nice enough so she and her soon to be ex probably did okay (unless it's another Mary Duggar Property!)

[Snarkylark]

On March 19, 2016 at 3:55 AM, missegeno said:

Oh jeez, cosleeping. :-( I have a friend who lost her infant to cosleeping after successfully cosleeping with her first. By Ohio law, if the baby died while in bed or otherwise in a setting with pillows, etc., they have to call it suffocation and not sids, even if there is no sign of actual suffocation. To see those words on the death certificate was so hard for her. After seeing the pain in her heart, I could never cosleep. Cosleeping advocates who act like it's fine because some baby they know survived drive me batty. Yeah, and I shot heroin for years and I didn't die, nor did most of the people I used with, and we got a lot of positive outcomes from it. It doesn't mean I go around telling people that shooting heroin is thus clearly safe and worth the risk. That would be insane. But for whatever reason, people follow that exact logic for cosleeping.

I'm so sorry your friend lost her baby. If the baby dies from SIDS then it isn't a co-sleeping death. If it does from suffocation while in a parent's bed, then yes. I understand the death certificate states suffocation but SIDS is not the same as suffocation and is not caused by co-sleeping. I also co-slept quite often with my 4 babes. But I didn't take any drugs that would impair me or drink alcohol. I also don't have large breasts that could suffocate my baby if I happened to fall asleep while nursing. I think one has to understand their sleeping habits and weigh that against the benefits/ risks of co-sleeping. I always felt that I was in sort of a twilight sleep whenever my kiddos were next to me and I would wake at the drop of a hat. Never did I find myself close to suffocating any of them. I would usually try to put them back in their bassinet at night time because my husband sleeps very soundly but during the day I loved snuggling with them for naps together.

[ClaraOswin]

I thought I read that some newer research is saying a possible cause of SIDS could be breathing in 'stale' air. Which is why it's best to have a baby on their back. And to keep things away from their sides (so they aren't breathing right into a crib bumper, for example.) They also recommend using a fan or something to help circulate air in the room. If they find this to be true, I imagine that co-sleeping could be a cause of SIDS if the baby is breathing right up against mom/dad/pillow/etc.

Not sure if that made sense or not.

I hope some day they really are able to find out what SIDS is.

[Mela99]

I thought Deanna was also in real estate? Maybe I'm thinking of someone else..

[twinmama]

19 hours ago, ClaraOswin said:

*sigh*  I get so depressed reading stuff like this. I guess I'll never know what it's like to have a "typical" child.

I'm not sure what you are dealing with, but I remember feeling that way when my boys were babies. Everywhere we went I saw babies that were hungry and wanted to eat and sucked down like 8oz bottles in 5 minutes or less. Then there were my babies who acted like I was TORTURING them trying to get them to take like 3oz bottles. They never acted hungry, and other than begging for snacks sometimes now, they still don't! All a result of reflux that it took a very long time to get under control. 

1 hour ago, ClaraOswin said:

I thought I read that some newer research is saying a possible cause of SIDS could be breathing in 'stale' air. Which is why it's best to have a baby on their back. And to keep things away from their sides (so they aren't breathing right into a crib bumper, for example.) They also recommend using a fan or something to help circulate air in the room. If they find this to be true, I imagine that co-sleeping could be a cause of SIDS if the baby is breathing right up against mom/dad/pillow/etc.

Not sure if that made sense or not.

I hope some day they really are able to find out what SIDS is.

I haven't done any research, but I thought it was common knowledge that SIDS is basically suffocation (or the rebreathing stale air you mention)? Isn't that why bumpers, blankets, and belly sleeping aren't good?

[imokit]

18 minutes ago, twinmama said:

I haven't done any research, but I thought it was common knowledge that SIDS is basically suffocation (or the rebreathing stale air you mention)? Isn't that why bumpers, blankets, and belly sleeping aren't good?

SIDS sudden infant death syndrome, no definitive cause identified.

Bumpers, belly sleeping and blankets (and pillows) are bad because a baby (esp a newborn) may not have the strength to move their neck & head out from under the blanket/pillow or away from the bumper (bassinets & cots usually have air holes/ big enough spaces between the slats to prevent this).  The risk is more about suffocation and less about SIDS.

Similar with co-sleeping, there's a risk of suffocation.

The safest place for a baby under 1 to sleep is in the parents room in a separate sleeping space (eg cot/bassinet).  On his/her back with nothing else in the cot.

Part of this is due to studies showing lower incidences of SIDS, and part of this is due to reducing suffocation.

Studies have shown correlation - ie babies on their fronts are more likely to die from SIDS etc, but they still haven't shown a definitive cause

[Snarkylark]

Twinmama- Not completely true. They don't know the exact cause of death in SIDS babies. They can guess based on the situation but there really hasn't been a definite, known cause of all cases of SIDS. From what I can tell, suffocation is one of the causes of SIDS but not all. To me, and I think it makes more sense, suffocation is not SIDS, it's suffocation. If an adult is suffocated, we don't call it sudden adult death, we call it suffocation. I would imagine that there are usually signs of suffocation. 

Whatever the cause is, I think we all can agree that Jessa should NOT have left her baby in her bed unattended and surrounded by pillows and heavy blankets. Smh

Hospitals do a lot of education on how to put baby to sleep and since she was in the hospital after birth, I imagine she would have been educated on this. Then again, if Spurge wasn't admitted too as part of a mom/baby couplet, then maybe not. 

[Bad Wolf]

When baby wolf was born in 1978, we were told to put her on her stomach to sleep with the head of the crib raised. This was supposed to prevent SIDS. Grandson who is almost 3 throws everything off his bed, including blankets, before he goes to sleep. Apparently, he's not taking any chances.

[ClaraOswin]

Suffocation isn't the same thing as breathing stale air that I mentioned. Suffocation would be a pillow or something completely obstructing your airway. Whereas breathing the stale air I think has something to do with the carbon dioxide or something? Maybe technically that's the same thing though I suck at science....haha.

But if a baby rolls over and gets it's face stuck in a pillow and passes away, that would not be considered SIDS. 

My son is 2.5 and still sleeps in a crib with nothing. He's so used to it now. We have tried giving him a pillow but he just throws it out. Hasn't tried a blanket yet (he used a sleep sack with foot openings.)

[quiverofdoubt]

8 minutes ago, ClaraOswin said:

Suffocation isn't the same thing as breathing stale air that I mentioned. Suffocation would be a pillow or something completely obstructing your airway. Whereas breathing the stale air I think has something to do with the carbon dioxide or something? Maybe technically that's the same thing though I suck at science....haha.

But if a baby rolls over and gets it's face stuck in a pillow and passes away, that would not be considered SIDS. 

My son is 2.5 and still sleeps in a crib with nothing. He's so used to it now. We have tried giving him a pillow but he just throws it out. Hasn't tried a blanket yet (he used a sleep sack with foot openings.)

When my first was maybe a few weeks old I had her in the co sleeper next to me, in a sleep sack thing. In the middle of the night I woke up with a sense that something was very very off.  The first thing I did was check the baby. Her face was covered by the sleep sack- I guess it was a tad too big and the front part creeped up and over her face.  She wasn't breathing right, if at all. I pulled it down and she took several big gasps of air.  I put the sleep sack away after that. In that instance I thank god i was sleeping next to her, I never would have caught that through a monitor or if she was in another room.  I was sleeping with nothing on my bed, except her co sleeper cot, with her on her back in it.

[DuggarWatch]

We all know that Jessa doesn't have anything to do but take care of a baby right now, but this is without excuse in my opinion.  Here's a picture of her bedroom as it appears on this week's TLC episode.  (She knew the cameras were coming to film the bedroom on that day!) 

[Ramen Amen]

When my daughter was 2 weeks old, she aspirated in her crib. On her back with nothing else in the crib. Heard a weird sound and went over there and her eyes were already rolling back in her head and she was going limp. Did CPR and got her back then went to the ER. She wasn't even due yet as she was 6 weeks early. One of the several reasons I only have one child.  Super traumatic. 

[Bad Wolf]

That is ridiculous. There's 2 of them. You get up in the morning, stand one eah side of the bed, and straighten it. Takes seconds, especially when you know a film crew is coming.

[2manyKidzzz]

15 minutes ago, Piano gal said:

When my daughter was 2 weeks old, she aspirated in her crib. On her back with nothing else in the crib. Heard a weird sound and went over there and her eyes were already rolling back in her head and she was going limp. Did CPR and got her back then went to the ER. She wasn't even due yet as she was 6 weeks early. One of the several reasons I only have one child.  Super traumatic. 

Wow. I'm glad she was okay. Yes, super traumatic. 

[MatthewDuggar]

I must say, I really like that bed frame!

[quiverofdoubt]

I have to admit my bed looks a lot like that right now, maybe worse. I rarely make the bed, and when i do the child and the dogs mess it up again worse in a hurry. However, i don't let people in my room as a general rule, and i would have it cleaned up for camera crew.  If they come by unexpectedly you'd bet i'd demand 5 minutes to straighten up before i would allow filming.