What's with these jerk adoptive mothers?

[Maggie Mae]

If her daughters are her employees in the day care, aren't there some age restrictions pertaining to minors? 

 

Family businesses are exempt. 

[blessalessi]

What regulations is Kimmie talking about then?  If child care provision is regulated, would there not be a rule about children looking after children.   Sissy Is 15.

 

[Maggie Mae]

 

I haven't read everything she has posted, but so far it seems the youngest can do no wrong, the oldest 2 are evil and she occasionally mentions the other. I will have to read more even though it breaks my heart.  

I could be wrong, but I think it's more that the oldest two have significant developmental delays and are "difficult," the youngest is "the apple of her eye" and needed the most medial attention recently, and Jie Jie is kind of overlooked right now because despite her physical limitations, she's still little and cute. And it seems like she has a pretty agreeable personality. 

Honestly though, "apple" is so adorable in her recent birthday photos. Little creeped out by Kimmi's projection about Apple being a mom someday. 

This little girl will make an amazing mommy one day. She can diaper her baby like a pro, always checks the side of the diaper for poo before changing her, makes sure her baby likes her food, and keeps everything nice and clean and organized. When gives her baby a good-night kiss before tucking it in is when my heart melts. Experts say that children are our mirrors, especially when they play. If she's my mirror, I'm doing an excellent job

[laPapessaGiovanna]

" Experts say that children are our mirrors, especially when they play. If she's my mirror, I'm doing an excellent job."

 It seems that she can't praise her daughter without praising herself.  She can't describe her daughters' misdeeds and difficulties without praising and making a martyr of herself. She blogs about her daughters to praise and talk about herself all the time. Her whole concept of motherhood revolves around her selfishness, her daughters exist only to be the apple of her eye or to make her a martyr, in function of her.

[blessalessi]

 

I could be wrong, but I think it's more that the oldest two have significant developmental delays and are "difficult," the youngest is "the apple of her eye" and needed the most medial attention recently, and Jie Jie is kind of overlooked right now because despite her physical limitations, she's still little and cute. And it seems like she has a pretty agreeable personality. 

 

"apple" was so-named many years before she was born, let alone on the orphanage list. "apple" was the fantasy child that Kim always wanted.  Kim chose to adopt the others from the special needs programme after several year had passed waiting for a child to become available on the non-special-needs list.  

If apple turns out to have her own additional needs, or if she just doesn't meet the fantasy criteria in Kim's mind, then she will likely be as vulnerable to abuse as the older girls.

[Safetyfirst]

I don't see how kim can call her daughter her "right hand" in her day care business,and yet tell the internet that she doesn't trust her enough to not spy on her 24/7.  I suspect her day care clients have no idea that she distrusts her "right hand" and feels that her "right hand" is a ticking time bomb.

[blessalessi]

I'm surprised no-one in her church or circle of friends has noticed the situation.

[Safetyfirst]

What about Oprah? She'd help these girls out, right?

 

[warriorblade8857]

If apple turns out to have her own additional needs, or if she just doesn't meet the fantasy criteria in Kim's mind, then she will likely be as vulnerable to abuse as the older girls.

This. She has proven that she has a cruel streak when people don't meet her expectations (e.g. posts about Sissy pre-adoption vs. recent posts about Sissy).

What concerns me is that, in addition to being cruel, she is also vindictive:

"He got out of there pretty fast and I did gloat because he is a surgeon with a God-complex and needs to be reminded, occasionally, that he's only human."

http://fencingmama.blogspot.com/2015/06/happy-2nd-family-day-june-17.html

Edited to add: I would hate to see that cruelty and vindictiveness directed towards Apple if (when?) she fails to measure up.

[WeArndtMarried]

There's nothing a mandated reporter can do here that you can't do yourself. Anyone can report. A mandated reporter has to report if we discover evidence or have reasonable suspicion of abuse or neglect in the course of performing our jobs. That's the only difference. We don't have any special pull with CPS or anything; you can call the hotline just the same as we can.

From what I've read on the blog, though, I haven't seen anything reportable. She has poor parenting skills, makes bad decisions, handles her children poorly, and is in way over her head... but none of that is against the law. I haven't seen anything on her blog that is. I can't imagine CPS would actually do anything with a long-term effect if this was hotlined. I'm not sure they'd even investigate.

If you (general you, not the poster I quoted specifically) disagree and feel there is something to report, by all means call the hotline!

But here's my concern: If CPS did visit her, it's possible it would be a wake up call and she'd shape up. But it's also possible it would drive her underground and cause her to sever the ties to the few supports she has, leaving her with even fewer resources for parenting the girls. If I saw something definitive to report, it would be worth the risk, but just the general feeling that she's a poor parent doesn't justify trying to start a CPS fishing expedition in my opinion.

Also, being a mandated reporter does not extend to an individual's personal life. We are only required to report abuse, or suspected abuse, we encounter through our jobs. After work we are still private citizens and can use our best judgement regarding reporting. 

Someone who reports to CPS does not have to be certain abuse has occurred or a law has been broken. As long as you make a report in good faith, you are fine.

[Safetyfirst]

Show her crap to Oprah. She gets things done.

[hilee]

I had to stop reading the blog after she trashed Sissy for "not caring" about her former roommate/only friend when she had a bone marrow transplant. Maybe she already felt she lost her? Had grieved her? Maybe it was her way of coping, to not ask or appear to care. She continuously finds fault for the way Sissy breathes, eats, drinks and just lives life. 

[xRoo]

Wow. I am so disgusted by the quotes here that I can't even open the link. I just know I can't read it. So devastating.

[Emme]

I haven't read this blog, but I am filled with a deep sadness and anger right now about this woman and these kids based on what you guys have posted. 

[Antimony]

It appears to me that Apple got at least more than one present for her birthday this year. But, for Blossom it's suddenly, "we all have all the material things we need and are keeping gifts to a minimum." Blossom gets her old quilt - something she already owned (though admittedly repaired).

I know babies always get babied, even into adulthood in some families. But this is just beyond the pale. The older girls must notice this no matter how much they love Apple.

[Safetyfirst]

I really feel that Oprah Winfrey should be made aware of this family.  I think that she would do what's best for them.

 

[AnywhereButHere]

This woman's blog makes me sad. I agree she was just looking for a child like Apple and got what she thinks is her dream child. 

It is sad on so many levels. Right now her sisters see the favoritism, which is horrible for them (and detrimental to the favored child as well). And what happens when Apple grows up and develops opinions of her own that don't align with mommy dearest? What's going to happen when Kimmie sees her baby defying her? 

[EyeQueue]

" Experts say that children are our mirrors, especially when they play. If she's my mirror, I'm doing an excellent job."

 It seems that she can't praise her daughter without praising herself.  She can't describe her daughters' misdeeds and difficulties without praising and making a martyr of herself. She blogs about her daughters to praise and talk about herself all the time. Her whole concept of motherhood revolves around her selfishness, her daughters exist only to be the apple of her eye or to make her a martyr, in function of her.

Of course not! And she very unashamedly refers to herself throughout her blog as "Supermom." It's all about her.

[DaffyDill]

There are three photos of Blossom's birthday, where she was given as a present, an old quilt she had damaged, all repaired. 

There are three photos of Sissy's birthday where she was given an alarm clock and a "sweat suit" (Sorry, so Aussie, I don't know what a sweat suit is so I guess it's a track suit?)

There's eleven photos of Apple's birthday, where she received a high chair for her baby doll, as well as something else, and a big pile of 6 or 7 helium balloons.

Wow...the favouritism burns strongly with this one.

[Safetyfirst]

I think Apple is the baby she has waited for all her life. The other girls are nuisances for her. But will come in handy for her day care business. In other words, her slaves.

[apandaaries]

I really feel that Oprah Winfrey should be made aware of this family.  I think that she would do what's best for them.

 

Oprah knew about and reported the Duggars.  We need better, stronger laws in this country, but we seem to be afraid of legislation with teeth.  

What regulations is Kimmie talking about then?  If child care provision is regulated, would there not be a rule about children looking after children.   Sissy Is 15.

 

Sissy just turned 17, I think: http://fencingmama.blogspot.com/2015/11/sissy-is-17.html

Which is terrifying in its own way, as 18 year olds are denied many services offered to 17 year olds in the system.

[AliceInFundyland]

How can you guys read this one? I made it through the first entry...the derogatory nicknames... I think I'm way too tender-hearted at the moment. Child collecting. All of these women (and men) are collecting children

I have educated Christian friends who had intended to adopt/foster upon learning that they would likely continue to pass on a genetic problem to their children. Then they realized they couldn't even do that; the children they already had were enough. There are 3. 2 are devleopmentally delayed enough that it's just one one of those "take it as it comes, but they'll never live normal lives" situations" They had to reevaluate "God's plan." pretty thoroughly.

I always think about them when I read here. But particularly with the adopters. it'sawful.  She's awful. i just want the good guys to get the babies. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

I really feel that Oprah Winfrey should be made aware of this family.  I think that she would do what's best for them.

I absolutely don't want to sound judgy, I only want to understand better because as a foreigner I'm dumbstruck by this. Do you really feel that the only person who can help in this situation is a TV presenter? There aren't other more structured and non "deus ex machina" possibilities for a solution?   I am asking because you posted this three times and if at first I thought you were joking, by the third time I understood you were saying for serious and I really can't wrap my head around it. 

[EyeQueue]

I'm surprised no-one in her church or circle of friends has noticed the situation.

I think at least a couple of people have. There's an entry (I can't remember which one) where she talks about the Bishop of her church taking her to task because he felt she was way in over her head.

From what I understand, the LDS church has resources that would help her out with this. She should just admit that she got way in over her head and now do whatever she can to fix the situation, get effective parenting advice, and get on the road to mending the relationships with her daughters (at least the two oldest ones).

There are probably also community organizations who can help Sissy and Blossom when they age out of other possible programs. If Sissy is good with other kids, maybe that is something she can do to be somewhat independent--work under supervision in a daycare providing situation (if that's appropriate for her level--I've seen several comments going back to comments from her original orphanage that she enjoyed working with younger kids and taking care of them).

[DaffyDill]

 

I was thinking the same thing @laPapessaGiovanna, and I'm not from the US either. Sadly, it just says so much about the lack of good care and oversight there, if these girls' best hope is, of all things, a TV personality. 

I mean I know things aren't perfect here (Australia) either, but I can't believe Oprah is all there is.