Grandma Mary

[MalteseBaby]

So, when the cameras are off and the lights are dimmed, do the Duggar children living in the TTH have any advocate? I had always thought, and probably assumed, that Grandma Mary would be the one to comfort them when they have little kid needs and play with them when they need an adult to show them how to do new things ( like make potholders or something of that nature) now that 2 sister moms are gone...

I'm rethinking this assumption, of course.

Do the children not have anyone in that house they can run to? This is so sad. My grandmother was my champion, my angel in my life, and I was hers. And I had wonderful, loving parents and was an only child.

[mebeforee]

I feel like, if Grandma Mary was trying to support JimBob covertly (giving him credit for her accomplishments, etc), the family would have never been in the housing situation it was when 14 Kids and Moving In (or whatever the hell it was called) first aired. Remember, they were looking for new housing because the church that had temporarily loaned them the home they were staying in had finally said 'enough' and wanted to claim the land, and the TTH wasn't anywhere near completed yet. (It's also unclear how long they were in the church-owned property... the editing makes the timeline hard to figure out, but it's implied that the church wanted to demolish the house that the family had been using 'temporarily', but Jinger also claimed to have been born there, which would mean they were loaned the house for 9 to 10 years?)

They supposedly had a very difficult time finding a place to stay because the rental agencies in the area wouldn't allow them to cram so many kids into such small properties. I wonder why Grandma Mary didn't offer one of her own rental properties to them for that purpose (since they would be privately owned by her), or (if Jim Bob was in real estate at the time), why they didn't kick one of their tenants out of a house and use it themselves. I mean, that would be a horrible thing to do to someone, but that doesn't seem like something that would stop the Duggars as we know them.

[SassyPants]

So, when the cameras are off and the lights are dimmed, do the Duggar children living in the TTH have any advocate? I had always thought, and probably assumed, that Grandma Mary would be the one to comfort them when they have little kid needs and play with them when they need an adult to show them how to do new things ( like make potholders or something of that nature) now that 2 sister moms are gone...

I'm rethinking this assumption, of course.

Do the children not have anyone in that house they can run to? This is so sad. My grandmother was my champion, my angel in my life, and I was hers. And I had wonderful, loving parents and was an only child.

The girls dissed GP Duggar in their book, and I remember when GM Mary mentioned needing to measure ingredients when baking, Jessa smart mouthed her. IMO, the girls were disrespective to their GPs.

I have not gotten the impression that GMM is close with JB's spawn.

I saw a more fun loving and spontaneous GMM when she was traveling with her daughter and Amy.

I hope that GMM is living in Duggarville, vs her own home because SHE WANTS and chooses to live in Duggarville.

[MalteseBaby]

I feel like, if Grandma Mary was trying to support JimBob covertly (giving him credit for her accomplishments, etc), the family would have never been in the housing situation it was when 14 Kids and Moving In (or whatever the hell it was called) first aired. Remember, they were looking for new housing because the church that had temporarily loaned them the home they were staying in had finally said 'enough' and wanted to claim the land, and the TTH wasn't anywhere near completed yet. (It's also unclear how long they were in the church-owned property... the editing makes the timeline hard to figure out, but it's implied that the church wanted to demolish the house that the family had been using 'temporarily', but Jinger also claimed to have been born there, which would mean they were loaned the house for 9 to 10 years?)

They supposedly had a very difficult time finding a place to stay because the rental agencies in the area wouldn't allow them to cram so many kids into such small properties. I wonder why Grandma Mary didn't offer one of her own rental properties to them for that purpose (since they would be privately owned by her), or (if Jim Bob was in real estate at the time), why they didn't kick one of their tenants out of a house and use it themselves. I mean, that would be a horrible thing to do to someone, but that doesn't seem like something that would stop the Duggars as we know them.

Maybe her husband wouldn't let her support JB and Michelle because he wanted them to straighten up and stop having babies?

I mean, children stacked like cord wood would be a compelling reason to curb the reproduction until a huge house could be found for most couples, and[b] if they had been more motivated to move out of a teeny house that was a health hazard in more ways than one, maybe, perhaps, possibly, Josh wouldn't have done what we know he did ( and possibly more... IDK)

[MalteseBaby]

The girls dissed GP Duggar in their book, and I remember when GM Mary mentioned needing to measure ingredients when baking, Jessa smart mouthed her. IMO, the girls were disrespective to their GPs.

I have not gotten the impression that GMM is close with JB's spawn.

I saw a more fun loving and spontaneous GMM when she was traveling with her daughter and Amy.

I hope that GMM is living in Duggarville, vs her own home because SHE WANTS and chooses to live in Duggarville.

Damned if I'd live in a house where I didn't get along or wasn't close to 13 or so of the inhabitants ( who knows about Michelle and GMM?) and let them use me as the wash woman.

She has assets and a daughter close by. Why doesn't she live on her own or, if she's unable or unwilling to do so, with Deanna?

There's something really OFF about this if she really doesn't get any love from the JBDuggar household but keeps living there... IMO.

[MalteseBaby]

Damned if I'd live in a house where I didn't get along or wasn't close to 13 or so of the inhabitants ( who knows about Michelle and GMM?) and let them use me as the wash woman.

She has assets and a daughter close by. Why doesn't she live on her own or, if she's unable or unwilling to do so, in a posh senior apartment complex or with Deanna? Even " small towns" usually have one or two very luxe senior condo type complexes with salons, shops, everything that is needed at hand and with concierge service as well.

There's something really OFF about this if she really doesn't get any love from the JBDuggar household but keeps living there... IMO.

[lascuba]

I feel like, if Grandma Mary was trying to support JimBob covertly (giving him credit for her accomplishments, etc), the family would have never been in the housing situation it was when 14 Kids and Moving In (or whatever the hell it was called) first aired. Remember, they were looking for new housing because the church that had temporarily loaned them the home they were staying in had finally said 'enough' and wanted to claim the land, and the TTH wasn't anywhere near completed yet. (It's also unclear how long they were in the church-owned property... the editing makes the timeline hard to figure out, but it's implied that the church wanted to demolish the house that the family had been using 'temporarily', but Jinger also claimed to have been born there, which would mean they were loaned the house for 9 to 10 years?)

They supposedly had a very difficult time finding a place to stay because the rental agencies in the area wouldn't allow them to cram so many kids into such small properties. I wonder why Grandma Mary didn't offer one of her own rental properties to them for that purpose (since they would be privately owned by her), or (if Jim Bob was in real estate at the time), why they didn't kick one of their tenants out of a house and use it themselves. I mean, that would be a horrible thing to do to someone, but that doesn't seem like something that would stop the Duggars as we know them.

IIRC, at the time Jim Bob only owned commercial real estate--at least, that's all they ever mentioned. I agree that if they had owned something they could live in, they would have absolutely kicked the tenants out--from what I've read Arkansas has atrocious laws regarding tenants.

I'm not sure what Mary owned at the time. If she did own residential properties, maybe she and her husband needed the rent they were collecting and Jim Bob couldn't match it. Or maybe JB's father just didn't want to rent to them--the man very bluntly stated on tv that they needed to stop having kids. He could have been "leave and cleave, baby!" when Jim Bob couldn't find anyone to rent a small home to him and his brood.

[SassyPants]

Let's face it, knowing what we now know, GP Duggar's assessment that JB and M needed to stop procreating was spot on correct. I thought it was wrong merely on lack of time, but knowing what GO Duggar knew at the time, I could see how he was vocally against JB and M's prolific procreating. As a parent of grown children, I would be too.

[lascuba]

I wonder if JB's parents and sister knew about the molestation. I had initially assumed not, since I didn't think JB/Michelle would tell anyone outside their church, but now I don't know.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

The girls dissed GP Duggar in their book, and I remember when GM Mary mentioned needing to measure ingredients when baking, Jessa smart mouthed her. IMO, the girls were disrespective to their GPs.

I have not gotten the impression that GMM is close with JB's spawn.

I saw a more fun loving and spontaneous GMM when she was traveling with her daughter and Amy.

I hope that GMM is living in Duggarville, vs her own home because SHE WANTS and chooses to live in Duggarville.

I imagine that the children learned to badmouth their grandfather from JB who never has anything nice to say about the man. And, as far as smart mouthing her Mary, it's not like Jessa is the only girl in existence to smart mouth an authority figure. Hell, I smart mouthed my parents and grandparents ALL THE FUCKING TIME when I was growing up. It's all part of that "thinking you're more mature than you are" stage of life.

[princessmahina]

Grandma Mary was also very prominent in the Famy specials and went on the big scary journey to Nashville with her and her mom. It was nice to see her outside of the TTH compound, but she was more involved with the Famy trainwreck than I was expecting.

I remember she was also mentioned when that guy sued Amy for non-payment. He said GM and Deanna were terrible. It certainly doesn't put any of them in a good light.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Let's face it, knowing what we now know, GP Duggar's assessment that JB and M needed to stop procreating was spot on correct. I thought it was wrong merely on lack of time, but knowing what GO Duggar knew at the time, I could see how he was vocally against JB and M's prolific procreating. As a parent of grown children, I would be too.

Even without Josh's behavior, I would be against it. I think 6-8 is the max any set of parents should have. Past that and there's just not enough resources (time, energy, money, etc) to go around. And, 6-8 is pushing it. I want a large family, but 6 is the max I'd ever consider (with adoption being the probable reason). 4 is my ideal number. Just enough to be large, but not enough to be completely swamped.

[Arete]

Not only was Jimmy Lee quite vocal that time about how wrong it was for JB and Michelle to keep having children, he also stated he had discussed the problem with Michelle's father and that Michelle's father also agreed it was wrong.

For speaking the truth, that two timing hustler JB systematically trashed Jimmy Lee's reputation after his death.

Bastard.

[LittleOleMe]

They were living in that first house we saw and then sold it to the church while still living in it. So they may have been there for 10 or so years, but they were only renting it for a short time. I remember thinking how stupid it was to sell their home when the new home wasn't even near ready yet. I'm guessing the church was desperate for the land and willing to pay serious cash.

After they left that house - bc the church wanted to demolish it - they moved into another house that was prepping for demolition. Bc the house was going to be knocked down anyway, they let the duggars move in. I believe they were given a specific time line for when they needed to get out. J'chelle wanted to be in the TTH before Jenni was born but that didn't happen. It was at this point that TLC stepped in with furnishing the house and everything, including the baby grand.

[FloraKitty35]

Jim Bob threw his father under the bus for daring to question, his & Mullet's excessive propagation. What an arrogant douche lord.

[Nic]

I feel like, if Grandma Mary was trying to support JimBob covertly (giving him credit for her accomplishments, etc), the family would have never been in the housing situation it was when 14 Kids and Moving In (or whatever the hell it was called) first aired. Remember, they were looking for new housing because the church that had temporarily loaned them the home they were staying in had finally said 'enough' and wanted to claim the land, and the TTH wasn't anywhere near completed yet. (It's also unclear how long they were in the church-owned property... the editing makes the timeline hard to figure out, but it's implied that the church wanted to demolish the house that the family had been using 'temporarily', but Jinger also claimed to have been born there, which would mean they were loaned the house for 9 to 10 years?)

They supposedly had a very difficult time finding a place to stay because the rental agencies in the area wouldn't allow them to cram so many kids into such small properties. I wonder why Grandma Mary didn't offer one of her own rental properties to them for that purpose (since they would be privately owned by her), or (if Jim Bob was in real estate at the time), why they didn't kick one of their tenants out of a house and use it themselves. I mean, that would be a horrible thing to do to someone, but that doesn't seem like something that would stop the Duggars as we know them.

OMG how long were they in that house?? I get churches are charitable, but IDK that seems a really long time to tie up an asset for one family. Even at a reduce rent situation still seems a bit long.

How big are GMM's houses? The "cottage" that Benessa live in, couldn't accommodate them all. And that would be taking away income from GMM. Though before TLC enlarged the Bates house, they were in a teeny tiny house.

[MatthewDuggar]

I've always wondered about more of the details surrounding Grandad's brain tumor. I know we didn't see a lot as a viewer and that brain tumors can be aggressive, but he certainly did seem to go from normal to on his death bed very quickly. I wonder if he got the best care possible. I felt for him when they were wheeling him around on an office chair. Couldn't they spring for a wheelchair??

[CorruptionInc.]

OMG how long were they in that house?? I get churches are charitable, but IDK that seems a really long time to tie up an asset for one family. Even at a reduce rent situation still seems a bit long.

How big are GMM's houses? The "cottage" that Benessa live in, couldn't accommodate them all. And that would be taking away income from GMM. Though before TLC enlarged the Bates house, they were in a teeny tiny house.

I thought that original house they lived in was theirs... The things you learn! The grifting houses thing started early on I see. Of course you were debt free; you didn't have to pay a mortgage! Grandma raised JB. She's just as bad as him. I used to think she was ok, but the more I hear...

[SassyPants]

Didn't the Duggars own a house but sold it before the TTH was ready, and then ended up needing to rent the church house for awhile?

I think JB assumed that the TTH would be ready, it was years behind schedule (damn Duggar Time), and JB had already sold their original home and needed a place in the interim. If not for TLC, they'd probably still be renting.

[Johanna25]

I've always wondered about more of the details surrounding Grandad's brain tumor. I know we didn't see a lot as a viewer and that brain tumors can be aggressive, but he certainly did seem to go from normal to on his death bed very quickly. I wonder if he got the best care possible. I felt for him when they were wheeling him around on an office chair. Couldn't they spring for a wheelchair??

My dad died from brain cancer and it was only about 6 weeks from diagnosis to death. It was late to be discovered, the tumors were pretty large before they started interfering with his motor functions, which prompted the scans. They tried radiation and steroids to shrink them for awhile, but it only bought a him a couple weeks. It is a shame they didn't even get their Granddad a wheelchair. Hospice loaned us everything we needed - hospital bed, potty chair, oxygen machine, etc. they were wonderful. I'm sure they would have found us a wheelchair if we'd asked.

[MatthewDuggar]

My dad died from brain cancer and it was only about 6 weeks from diagnosis to death. It was late to be discovered, the tumors were pretty large before they started interfering with his motor functions, which prompted the scans. They tried radiation and steroids to shrink them for awhile, but it only bought a him a couple weeks. It is a shame they didn't even get their Granddad a wheelchair. Hospice loaned us everything we needed - hospital bed, potty chair, oxygen machine, etc. they were wonderful. I'm sure they would have found us a wheelchair if we'd asked.

I am so sorry about your dad, I can't imagine going through that. Thank you for sharing.

[calimojo]

Can someone remind me how JB trashed his dad? I don't recall this. I do remember the awful birthday episode where they wheeled him out on that chair, and it was clear he was in no shape to do that. But I also remember the episode after he died, and JB showed some actual real emotion and I think even front hugged Jana or one of the girls in grief. It was one of the few times I actually saw real emotion from him.

Did he truly trash him, or did he just acknowledge that they had different opinions?

And if JB's Dad had said on public TV that he thought it was wrong or dumb to have all the kids, I can see why that may have upset JB and M. It probably felt to them like he was trashing them and their decisions on national TV. I know we all agree with Grandpa Duggar's assessment on that, but putting our selves in JB's place, it likely felt like a slap in the face.

I remember my own mother telling me I would be dumb to have more than 2 kids. She hounded me for months as to when my hubby would get his vasectomy. It drove me crazy and drove a wedge between us for a while. Even after I told her that it was really not her decision and she was not welcome to express those thoughts to me any longer, she continued and I found it really hurtful.

There are a lot of things about my mother that annoy and anger me. She made different choices than I did, and to this day she is very opinionated and judgy. I have spoken of this to others. When she dies, it will be very hard on me, because despite our differences I do love her, but that doesn't mean that even after her death, I wouldn't comment on things she did to drive me crazy, or talk about why I followed a different path than she did.

[lascuba]

I wouldn't qualify the way JB talked about his father as "trashing." It's entirely possible I missed something, but the only thing I remember is JB saying how his father was good with money when they were growing up and things along those lines. He was critical, but not nasty.

I don't know what exactly the girls said in their book, but I get the impression it's along the same lines. But I also don't think Jessa was disrespectful to Mary in that episode where they were baking together.

[apandaaries]

Not only was Jimmy Lee quite vocal that time about how wrong it was for JB and Michelle to keep having children, he also stated he had discussed the problem with Michelle's father and that Michelle's father also agreed it was wrong.

For speaking the truth, that two timing hustler JB systematically trashed Jimmy Lee's reputation after his death.

Bastard.

I remember a scene where JL openly stated that he didn't think JB and DQ should have the number of kids that they did, but I missed the part about him discussing it with DQ's dad, as well. I think a lot of original material has been scrubbed and polished. People have also mentioned exceptionally skinny horses at the Bates' house, but I can no longer find those scenes on youtube. It could also be that I haven't looked hard enough or got bored watching and missed it. :lol:

Put me in the camp that thinks JL and Mary knew at least something about Josh's serial molestation issues. Part of me wonders if that's her motivation for staying closer -- maybe she wants to keep an eye on things.

DQ has always seemed so distant from her parents. I'm curious about what they knew.

Impressive that both JB and DQ tell their kids they have to honor their parents forever and instantly obey, but chose to completely disregard their own parents' very good advice about their excessive breeding. No double standard there.

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

OMG how long were they in that house?? I get churches are charitable, but IDK that seems a really long time to tie up an asset for one family. Even at a reduce rent situation still seems a bit long.

How big are GMM's houses? The "cottage" that Benessa live in, couldn't accommodate them all. And that would be taking away income from GMM. Though before TLC enlarged the Bates house, they were in a teeny tiny house.

I was under the impression that Ben and Jessa's house was originally lived in by both JB's parents, and that they lived there until his dad was on his deathbed.