Grandma Mary

[TeaELSee]

I thought the incidents took place 12-13 year ago. But, the email/fax to Harp was in 2006 making or so making Grandma Mary a bit too old.

I also stated that she could have confided in a friend. The age range fits the narrative.

Maybe she tried to help the best way she knew how. I guess I would like to give her the benefit of doubt since no other adults cared enough to stop this abuse.

[SassyPants]

I'd assume since so many others knew about this situation, that GP Duggar did too.

It all makes sense, doesn't it? He didn't agree with the addition of more and more kids because he knew that they were not properly protecting the ones they already had.

So JB treated his father like crap as he was dying and had the girls write negative things about GP Duggar in their book.

JB is such a snake. Seriously, I hope he ends up with nothing in the end. He's such a passive aggressive, lying, manipulating, opportunistic bastardo.

[TeaELSee]

I thought the incidents took place 12-13 year ago. But, the email/fax to Harp was in 2006 making or so making Grandma Mary a bit too old.

74-13=61

2006-2015 is 9 years.

I'm bad at math, but how does this make Mary too old?

[OodOnTheLoo]

I'd assume since so many others knew about this situation, that GP Duggar did too.

It all makes sense, doesn't it? He didn't agree with the addition of more and more kids because he knew that they were not properly protecting the ones they already had.

So JB treated his father like crap as he was dying and had the girls write negative things about GP Duggar in their book.

JB is such a snake. Seriously, I hope he ends up with nothing in the end. He's such a passive aggressive, lying, manipulating, opportunistic bastardo.

I missed it. What was in the book about grandpa?

[SassyPants]

I missed it. What was in the book about grandpa?

Evidently, GPD was lazy, good for nothing, poor with money (I guess you could say a poor headship) and I think the girls also implied that he had a substance abuse problem. I did not read the entire book, have only read snippets here and there. Also, I do know, because I heard GPD say that he did not think it was in JB's M's or their family's best interest to keep having kids. I guess GPD was not a fan of Gothard or even church in general.

I think JB did not respect his dad (did you see the episodes when GP was sick and being wheeled around in an office chair or the funeral episode??

And GPD did not totally respect JB's decisions.

[MatthewDuggar]

It makes me wonder what Mary thinks about them basically slamming Grandpa in all the books as well as in talking heads on the show. She's never said anything negative about him and it appeared they were happy when he was alive. Granted it could have been the complete opposite and she maybe hated his guts, but it just makes me wonder. If he struggled with alcohol and was not the best Father of the Year, like Jim Boob, it just seems overly cruel to slam him like that since they are such perfect Christians. If anything, it would be an awesome testimony of forgiveness on Jim Boob's part to honor his father instead. Maybe there is more to it and they have more crap buried. I guess we'll never know.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

It makes me wonder what Mary thinks about them basically slamming Grandpa in all the books as well as in talking heads on the show. She's never said anything negative about him and it appeared they were happy when he was alive. Granted it could have been the complete opposite and she maybe hated his guts, but it just makes me wonder. If he struggled with alcohol and was not the best Father of the Year, like Jim Boob, it just seems overly cruel to slam him like that since they are such perfect Christians. If anything, it would be an awesome testimony of forgiveness on Jim Boob's part to honor his father instead. Maybe there is more to it and they have more crap buried. I guess we'll never know.

A redneck guy, "salt of the Earth," who drank a paycheck when he earned one....wow. How unique. I think Grandma probably got tired of his crap and went out to earn a living but still loved him--lots of women do.

[Cleopatra7]

It makes me wonder what Mary thinks about them basically slamming Grandpa in all the books as well as in talking heads on the show. She's never said anything negative about him and it appeared they were happy when he was alive. Granted it could have been the complete opposite and she maybe hated his guts, but it just makes me wonder. If he struggled with alcohol and was not the best Father of the Year, like Jim Boob, it just seems overly cruel to slam him like that since they are such perfect Christians. If anything, it would be an awesome testimony of forgiveness on Jim Boob's part to honor his father instead. Maybe there is more to it and they have more crap buried. I guess we'll never know.

Funny how it's perfectly ok for JB to hold a grudge against JL for not being a perfect headship, but the J'victims all had to forgive Josh in church whether they wanted to or not. :evil:

[Wingnut]

I wish Grandma Mary would write an honest tell all. That is a book I would buy!

[apandaaries]

Funny how it's perfectly ok for JB to hold a grudge against JL for not being a perfect headship, but the J'victims all had to forgive Josh in church whether they wanted to or not. :evil:

I think JB lacks the self-awareness required to notice that he's still holding a grudge. I think he believes himself a wonderful, respectful son. Didn't he take in his dying dad and elderly mother?

By the same token, I think he thinks himself an excellent father to his own sons...despite the fact that we can clearly see that he's weirdly competitive with them and seems to have a very different relationship with his sons than his daughters. And then there's that entire Josh fiasco, which JB thinks was handled perfectly.

Pretty sure JB is a narcissist of the highest order, unable to truly reflect and see his own flaws.

[TeaELSee]

I feel like my Grandma Mary math question is being buried.

[TeaELSee]

74-13=61

2006-2015 is 9 years.

I'm bad at math, but how does this make Mary too old?

,

I'll ask it again.

[daniee]

I seem to remember Grandma Mary AND Grandpa moved into to Duggarville when Grandpa was sick. I thought they moved in so Grandma Mary would have "help" (J'Slaves) taking care of him. Then when he died, she just stayed. For some reason I remember JB saying he promised his father he would take care of his mother.

[Fundie Bunny]

,

I'll ask it again.

The woman who sent the fax was 61 in 2006 as far as i know, so GM is too old to be her, as she would have been 65 in 2006

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I seem to remember Grandma Mary AND Grandpa moved into to Duggarville when Grandpa was sick. I thought they moved in so Grandma Mary would have "help" (J'Slaves) taking care of him. Then when he died, she just stayed. For some reason I remember JB saying he promised his father he would take care of his mother.

Both are in line with their love of Victorian mythology and with their brand of "hospitality". Michelle's father was with them for a while, too. You take care of family members who are infirm, etc. so the girls can practice practical nursing (though nothing too intimate with a man) and female family members should be cared for since they no longer/never have a man to Lord over them. Plus, Mary has had a ton of influence on Jim-Bob.

[Mama Mia]

Both are in line with their love of Victorian mythology and with their brand of "hospitality". Michelle's father was with them for a while, too. You take care of family members who are infirm, etc. so the girls can practice practical nursing (though nothing too intimate with a man) and female family members should be cared for since they no longer/never have a man to Lord over them. Plus, Mary has had a ton of influence on Jim-Bob.

That's hardly restricted to families who love the Victorian era, or are fundamentalists, or even religious. Having a dying relative be cared for by family is very very common. Financially it's also the only realistic option for many people. Plus on an emotional level, it's often the preference. The widowed grandparent - of either sex- staying on to live with the family is also still common for many people. I can't see how this is even something to Snark on?

As someone with limited mobility - I think the offic chair makes sense. He wasn't using a wheelchair full- time - as he didn't have mich time left. An office chair is comfortable, and also can feel less conspicuous. The move to visible adaptations , like a wheelchair, can be a difficult adjustment for some people. If he was only expecte to live for a very short time, why go through that if you don't want to?

[Four is Enough]

That's hardly restricted to families who love the Victorian era, or are fundamentalists, or even religious. Having a dying relative be cared for by family is very very common. Financially it's also the only realistic option for many people. Plus on an emotional level, it's often the preference. The widowed grandparent - of either sex- staying on to live with the family is also still common for many people. I can't see how this is even something to Snark on?

As someone with limited mobility - I think the offic chair makes sense. He wasn't using a wheelchair full- time - as he didn't have mich time left. An office chair is comfortable, and also can feel less conspicuous. The move to visible adaptations , like a wheelchair, can be a difficult adjustment for some people. If he was only expecte to live for a very short time, why go through that if you don't want to?

I have no problem with the Duggars taking their father in to care for him in his final illness. I DO have a problem with their parading it around as "lookit me, I'm a Good Christian!" (Let not the left hand know what the right hand is doing, you numbskulls!)

An office chair is dangerous for someone with limited ability to sit upright in. When I saw Mr. Duggar in one, he was slouched over as if he would fall at any time. In a wheel chair at least he would have arms and foot supports. Not to mention that basically every time I go to Goodwill, I see a wheelchair somewhere in the store. They ARE available used. No excuses. Jim Bob's cheapery shines through.

[MatthewDuggar]

As someone with limited mobility - I think the offic chair makes sense. He wasn't using a wheelchair full- time - as he didn't have mich time left. An office chair is comfortable, and also can feel less conspicuous. The move to visible adaptations , like a wheelchair, can be a difficult adjustment for some people. If he was only expecte to live for a very short time, why go through that if you don't want to?

I think it's sad. Don't get him a wheelchair because he doesn't have much time left....really? Wheelchairs are not that difficult of an adjustment and much more SAFE than an office chair. You can also rent them, it's not a huge expense especially for these people. It came off to me as lazy and uncaring. Who knows, maybe they had him laying in bed all day and never really took him out until that one day of filming. You weren't there and I wasn't there. When my mother was dying I did as much as I could with what money I had and getting her a chair didn't break me.

[hapamama]

An office chair is dangerous for someone with limited ability to sit upright in. When I saw Mr. Duggar in one, he was slouched over as if he would fall at any time. In a wheel chair at least he would have arms and foot supports. Not to mention that basically every time I go to Goodwill, I see a wheelchair somewhere in the store. They ARE available used. No excuses. Jim Bob's cheapery shines through.

I agree. That office chair had no lateral support, nothing to keep his feet from getting caught under it. Not safe at all.

Not only are wheelchairs relatively cheap from thrift stores, but also Medicare and insurance companies will help patients who need them procure one. The insurance company my grandparents have helped my grandma get a pretty much all the equipment she needed to take care of Grandpa at home... hospital bed, hoyer lift, shower chair, etc for I think $15/month. When my other grandmother needed mobility aids after her first stroke, her insurance bought her a wheelchair, walker, cane, commode and bath seat and other aids.

[RosyDaisy]

Both are in line with their love of Victorian mythology and with their brand of "hospitality". Michelle's father was with them for a while, too. You take care of family members who are infirm, etc. so the girls can practice practical nursing (though nothing too intimate with a man) and female family members should be cared for since they no longer/never have a man to Lord over them. Plus, Mary has had a ton of influence on Jim-Bob.

In my family we take care of each other. My husband and I had that discussion before we got married. We won't turn away our family members when they need help.

[MatthewDuggar]

In my family we take care of each other. My husband and I had that discussion before we got married. We won't turn away our family members when they need help.

That is so unselfish and awesome! It made me feel good reading that.

[Mama Mia]

I think it's sad. Don't get him a wheelchair because he doesn't have much time left....really? Wheelchairs are not that difficult of an adjustment and much more SAFE than an office chair. You can also rent them, it's not a huge expense especially for these people. It came off to me as lazy and uncaring. Who knows, maybe they had him laying in bed all day and never really took him out until that one day of filming. You weren't there and I wasn't there. When my mother was dying I did as much as I could with what money I had and getting her a chair didn't break me.

I'm not talking about the adjustment of using it physically, or the expense. I'm talking about the psychological acceptance of using it. I can't speak for this guy, but, for me all of the things that showed I was visibly " different" took some time. It was hard.I felt less conspicuous and more " normal" if I was in a regular chair.

[VelociRapture]

In my family we take care of each other. My husband and I had that discussion before we got married. We won't turn away our family members when they need help.

My Fiance and I have had a couple of conversations about this. . . and it really depends.

Both our families have always done everything possible to help one another when needed. I told my mom I was willing to move in with my elderly Great-Aunt and take care of her if it meant keeping her in her home - mom thought it was very kind, but it wasn't the best option for her.

The problem is, my Fiance's parents have been taken advantage of by extended family a lot. His Uncle did a bunch of shady stuff with his former employer, got caught, almost wound up in prison, and only stayed out because his sister dipped into her retirement account to save his sorry ass. He never paid her back and its been years now. He also cut contact with my Fiance's parents because they called him out on his bullshit multiple times - he even refused to send so much as a text when his own sister wound up in the Hospital with incredibly serious health issues.

It kind of tainted our views a bit. We no longer speak to that branch of his family and we no longer speak with his Aunt or grandparents either (they placed all the blame for the falling out on his mother which was not the case at all). We would do what we could to help my family, his parents, and his siblings. His extended family though? No. That ship sailed a long time ago.

[BunnyBee]

Grandma Thug Life Mary is just thinking

"damn it feels good to be a ganster"

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

I'm not talking about the adjustment of using it physically, or the expense. I'm talking about the psychological acceptance of using it. I can't speak for this guy, but, for me all of the things that showed I was visibly " different" took some time. It was hard.I felt less conspicuous and more " normal" if I was in a regular chair.

My grandma was the same way, but it didn't stop us from requiring her to use the wheelchair unless she was going to stay seated at the table or she was moving to her lift chair. Safety comes above all else, especially when you're dealing with someone who is already sick or injured.