How would we snark on YOU?

[Jessica]

I thought of some more. I go walking every day in (gasp!) a skirt and running shoes. ;) (I blame the huge pregnant belly not being covered at the bottom even by maternity shirts and my hatred for maternity pants)

My husband and I didn't kiss until we were engaged, and there no sex until marriage.

We have a not-quite honeymoon baby (conceived 6 weeks after we were married) and are expecting his not-quite-Irish-twin the first weekend in April (if this one comes on its due date they will be 55 weeks apart).

I have my babies at home (with a legit midwife, not this Miss Theresa garbage like Josh & Anna--oh also we're less than 2 miles from a hospital).

[2xx1xy1JD]

Who says you can't wear American Eagle after age 30??

I'm wearing American Eagle black jeggings now, and they are AWESOME. They look good and are crazy comfy.

[salex]

I am sorry, but if there is animal print for sale, I will always have at least one item in my closet in animal print. Even though 30 and I are far apart by now.

goes with my skin tone, eye color and hair color and if available, will be worn.

[rodgerdodger]

Oh boy, this is such a fantastic thread! I love hearing everyone's own self-deprecating humor. You ladies are hilarious and oh so brilliant :mrgreen:

As for me? I am incredibly neurotic. Like, when I was five I carried around a "spit cup" because I was convinced my saliva was poisonous. Mix this in with an anxiety disorder and I a can be a crazed mess :lol:

I'm also a huge feminist and LGBTQ advocate (I'm currently in school to become an LGBTQ counselor) buuuuut I am also a straight, white female. So I am sure that would provide threads upon threads of snark on me.

Also, due to me having severe ear problems when I was younger, I talk waaaay too loudly. I was half-deaf when I learned to talk so what is "normal" volume for me can be way too loud for people around me. I have learned how to control my voice, but when I get over-excited all the years of self-control go out the window until someone says "shhh you're talking kind of loud".

I am overweight and I am sure that I would snarked on for that, but I'm healthy and my doctor isn't concerned so who cares :dance:

OH! Also on my neurotic side, when it comes to relationships I have the "does my best friend hate me/like that person more than me" come out once in awhile. I can just imagine the camera dramatically zooming in on me when I have one of those anxiety ridden moments. Beautiful.

[Aurora rising]

Oh my. Where to start???

Okay: My husband is 16 years older, very energetic and loves to polarize and to provoke. I´m slightly overweight, obsessed with it, always talking about healthy food and normally I have a few things I don´t eat (my friends tend to ask "let´s do dinner together - in which eating phase are you at the moment?") I love snakes and I´m very interested in insects and biology in general, I have very chaotic friends (we love each other!), I love my music instruments and will yell at anybody who touches them without asking me first.

I hate big crouds, but I enjoy doing the sema (the whirling dance of the derwishes) with lots of people. I speak islamic-fundie fluently, if I have too, but my husband drinks alcohol and we have wine and beer at home.

I love books and cannot get enough of them, I love movies and remember whole dialogs from my favourite movies. And I hate clothes-shopping, I wearing mine until my husbands complains that I look like a stray. Oh yeah, and I like my hippie-style - very colourful, lots of layers, strange earrings and necklaces.

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

Oh, I am a veritable fountain of snarkworthiness.

To begin: I wasn't raised fundie but I am still pretty, ah, old-fashioned about relationships so the soon-to-be Mr. JFH doesn't live with me and LF. I'm sure that some people would snark on that.

I love tater tot casserole (or hot dish as my northern relatives call it) and would eat it at least three times a week if left to my own devices. Heck, a lot of the foods I love aren't exactly organic, gluten-free, low-carb, all-natural whatever.

I try to maintain a certain level of sanitation in my house but it's not going to appear in the pages of Better Homes and Gardens any time soon. I'm sure that could be snarked on.

I really don't care much about makeup and my hair is usually in a messy bun, ponytail or braid and my clothes? It's Florida so anything that doesn't stick to me when it's hot and I sweat (usually t-shirts and those lightweight board short things).

I do wear flip-flops a LOT. I keep my feet clean, but still.

LF's an energetic little soul and independent as all get-out so I let her do things for herself that she wants to do. That could be snarked on by a certain segment of the population.

I don't swear. I just don't like to, but I can see where people would snark on me for that.

My cats (and newly added to the family puppy!) are in charge.

ETA: I'm sure a major source of snark would be that both the former and soon-to-be Mr JFHes are a few years younger than me (ex-Mr JFH by two years and soon to be Mr JFH three- he's 25 and I'm 28.)

[Aurora rising]

Oh yeah, I forgot: I tend to sing when I´m listening to my mp3-player. And it might happen that I started singing during a jogging-round. outside. with lots of people watching.

I like to swear, but only if I´m really angry - well, at least in my (german) mother-tongue. In english and turkish I can swear like a truck driver, thanks to a french friend who lived in England an my MIL. And I don´t wear makeup and don´t brush my hair (natural curly and very short anyway).

[moodygirl86]

I love movies and remember whole dialogs from my favourite movies.

Ah, thanks for reminding me of one I missed out! I'm a bit like that with sitcoms - Father Ted, Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Young Ones, Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

[Cassielfsw]

* I'm extremely introverted and have a severe case of resting bitch face. Pretty mix everyone who doesn't know me thinks I'm a snob.

* I have no fashion sense. If I didn't work in a business casual office I would wear nothing but jeans and t shirts.

* I never wear makeup.

* I have absolutely no idea what to do with my hair and just wear it in a ponytail.

* I'm 100 pounds overweight (I'm working on it...)

* I have 2 Guinea pigs whom I talk baby talk to and have conversations with which mostly consist of how stinky their butts are, how many poopies they make, and their fondness for eating, and for eating their poopies.

* I'm a huge nerd.

But mostly I think the snark would be: "holy mother of god, could this show possibly be any more BORING?! All she does is go to work, come home, play video games, and talk to her Guinea pigs about their poo!"

[purposed2015]

Ah, thanks for reminding me of one I missed out! I'm a bit like that with sitcoms - Father Ted, Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Young Ones, Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

Love Father Ted, especially if I'm really tired...

[shedemei]

I'd get snarked on for my internet addiction (really) and emotional overeating.

[Aurora rising]

Ah, thanks for reminding me of one I missed out! I'm a bit like that with sitcoms - Father Ted, Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Young Ones, Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

It can be .... akward... A friend of mine was once describing me a way to some village "....and then you walk just here..." and my immediate answer was "One does not simply WALK into Mordor!!!"

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

It can be .... akward... A friend of mine was once describing me a way to some village "....and then you walk just here..." and my immediate answer was "One does not simply WALK into Mordor!!!"

That would be me with anything Monty Python related- their movies, Flying Circus, anything like that. :lol:

[slh12280]

So much to snark on!

-I am 25 and still live at home (although I am moving out in a couple months)

-I am an introvert that sometimes get anxious about social situations

-I am neurotic and at times obsess about different things, lately I have been checking my car for dents

-I'm a little obsessed with hedgehogs

-Don't date and am obscenely picky about men

-Picky eater

-Really thin but eat junk a lot of times

-Can be really lazy when I am not working or going to school to the point of not bothering to eat because it would require me to get up

-Have a college degree that I haven't used

-Don't care about makeup and don't shave unless I have to

-I am anxious in general

I'm sure there is more and I can definitely relate to others in this post!

[Eighth-of-eleven]

Snark worthy...lots of piercings, 3/4 inch ear gauges, 55 year old runner, pretty thin, who wears short dresses with leggings and sandals, no make up ever. Love to read!! Retired from being a hard ass maximum security healthcare psych tech, med nurse ( nurse ratchet anyone??) nice in real life but a bit intimidating looking to the uninitiated...married to a fabulous man would be snarked on for being totes devoted to him...we are complete dorks together.