How would we snark on YOU?

[Firiel]

I've been thinking of all the ways I'd be snarked on if I had a reality show. I thought it might be a fun exercise.

If I had a reality show, I'd be snarked on for these things (aside from being boring):

Fashion, fashion, fashion! I'm quite sensitive to the feeling of clothes, so whenever I get the chance, I'm wearing t-shirts and loose exercise pants. That would not change were I to be filmed. There would be no end of snark about why I couldn't put a little make-up on before the film crews came over.

Being gross. I shower every two days and hate wearing shoes!

This is a big one: I would be snarked on to no end for my puppy-like adoration of the boyfriend. People give me shit about it in real life too, though. :D I dunno-- when I'm in a relationship, I just delight in the other person. I'm always excited to see him, and when we are just chilling at home, I will often just mindlessly follow him into a room just because it seems like the thing to do. :embarrassed:

Also, just my relationship in general. First because that's the only potential source of drama, so the cameras would play it up, even though we don't really have much drama. Also, bf has a bit of a past (nothing serious-- just douche moves), so if that came out on the show, there would be some pushback.

Feminism. If feminism came up, I'd probably get some pushback, from feminists and non-feminists, mainly because I'm not a choice feminist, in that I don't think any choice a women makes is necessarily an act of feminism. In some areas, I lean towards radical feminism.

I might be snarked on for not calling out my family on being conservative Christian.

My weight, exercise, and eating habits would be discussed. I think people might postulate that I have an eating disorder because I'm thin and work out.

So what about you? How would we snark on you?

[nomoxian]

I don't think I'm really "SJW" but I do post stuff about racism, sexism and LGBT+ issues on my Twitter and Tumblr, and I'm active on queer groups on Reddit. I could see certain types of people snarking on that.

[Browneyed Girl]

My complete total and absolute devotion to hockey during the NHL season. Last year I watched over 200 games over the season (I got the specialty channels). I haven't missed a Bruins game in three years. If I don't watch it in person or on TV, I PVR it and watch it later.

This year my overall game total is even higher. I "had" to get the specialty channels (Centre Ice) and the computer feeds (Game Centre Live). Canadian hockey watchers will hopefully understand when I say I hate how Rogers is broadcasting the games so that's why I have both. It's to avoid having to watch their channels,

I'm glad the season is a long as it is. There's only July and August with no hockey and it's the two longest months of the year. Ya I'm a little nuts about hockey.

[SPHASH]

My passion for numismatics. I look at my coin collection everyday. And I also surf websites like Ebay for coin sales, go to coin clubs, and participate in coin forums.

[KittenMitten]

I'm really lazy sometimes.

I chew my nails and cuticles until they are bleeding messes.

I am a crazy cat lady.

I can be a sourpuss.

I drink to much wine.

I am a crazy cat lady.

I'm not fashionable, I prefer comfort.

I like having my own bed even though I'm happily married.

Last, I am the crazy cat lady.

[jerkit]

Similar to you, firiel. I am not fashionable at all. I frequently wear gym clothes in public. I rock CHACOS whenever it's warm enough to do so. My husband and I have traditionally gendered chores.

[Tiny Bubbles]

I accidentally have the same hair style and colour as my dog. I fill my fridge with fresh healthy food and then eat junk. I don't get much-needed pedicures because I'm ticklish.

[Browneyed Girl]

I'm really lazy sometimes.

I chew my nails and cuticles until they are bleeding messes.

I am a crazy cat lady.

I can be a sourpuss.

I drink to much wine.

I am a crazy cat lady.

I'm not fashionable, I prefer comfort.

I like having my own bed even though I'm happily married.

Last, I am the crazy cat lady.

So how many DOGS do you have? :lol:

I'm so kidding. I read your list and thought I cant snark on what sounds just like me. I can't have a kitty though because of the apartment I live in but if I could I'd have a "few".

[VelociRapture]

I'm a huge book lover. In particular, I'm a Harry Potter nerd.

I adore dogs. I constantly get excited when I see a dog roaming around and I make up stories about what they're doing. I also name them depending on what they look like or where I see them - for instance, there is Chubby Pug on Main and Fluffy Puppy.

Probably my relationship a bit. My guy and I are total dorks together. He loves to tease me about stuff, so people may snark on that.

I can be lazy at times. I'm not sure how, but I tend to do really well in class without studying most of the time.

I despise my job.

I recently made the choice (with my guy) to be a stay-at-home wifey and mom (while the kids are young). That would get snarked on, especially if I stop working before I'm pregnant.

I have a nervous habit of chewing on my finger nails.

have anxiety and depression. I don't really talk about it with anyone other than my Fiance and therapist, but the symptoms that are presented would get snarked on if people don't realize why I act the way I do.

Fashion. I do my best to look presentable, but I'm not always dressed nicely. And I don't always wear makeup or anything.

[nausicaa]

This is a great question.

I would be snarked on for the opposite reason as you Firiel, I think people would make fun of me for being superficial and vain. I do my hair every day and wear a lot of eye make up. I've had a nose job, I'm in the process of getting chemical peels for some acne scarring from my teenage years, and I wear Invisalign. And though I do it because I enjoy it and it's good for me, I also work out about 5x a week and eat healthy because I like staying in shape (and even though I'm a healthy weight and eat quite a bit, I'm sure there would be eating disorder speculation. Because women can never win regarding weight in the court of public opinion).

I'm sort of ridiculously organized and don't like spontaneity. This is not a humble brag, I truly take it to nerdy proportions. Like I have a meal and snack plan for each week, a clothing plan a month out for what I'm wearing to work, and my day planner is like Teri Mawell's MOTH schedule. I think people would be speculating on whether or not I have OCD.

Actually I'm a bit like Jessa (looks, upbringing, and political views aside). I'm not very emotional or demonstrative. People often comment on how reserved I am. So I can see a lot of the criticism directed toward her about being cold and manipulative also being directed at me.

[Firiel]

I have anxiety and depression. I don't really talk about it with anyone other than my Fiance and therapist, but the symptoms that are presented would get snarked on if people don't realize why I act the way I do.

OH THIS. If I had a panic attack on screen, I'd get snarked on hard-core for being such a bitch and throwing a fit over whatever small thing caused my anxiety to overflow into a panic attack.

[sorchah]

Some of my life choices are pretty damn unorthodox, but mostly the way I dress. I wear yoga pants a LOT. I never wear any kind of shoe besides sneakers or running shoes. I don't wear makeup ever. I rarely do anything with my hair. I wear sports bras almost exclusively.

People also find me intimidating because of my "resting bitch face" and I give good evil eye. I'm not super charismatic.

DGAF. :shifty:

[Firiel]

Some of my life choices are pretty damn unorthodox, but mostly the way I dress. I wear yoga pants a LOT. I never wear any kind of shoe besides sneakers or running shoes. I don't wear makeup ever. I rarely do anything with my hair. I wear sports bras almost exclusively.

People also find me intimidating because of my "resting bitch face" and I give good evil eye. I'm not super charismatic.

DGAF. :shifty:

I remember my mom giving me some facial coaching as a kid, and I wonder if I would have ended up with a resting bitch face if she hadn't.

(It was in good faith-- she has a resting bitch face and is shy, so growing up she had a hard time making friends because people assumed she was unpleasant before getting to know her.)

Sports bras are my jam. When I wear a "real" bra to work, I'm practically dying by the time I get home and rip it off.

[Bbfamteam]

I'm definitely a control freak about many things, which would likely give an outsider endless hours of snarking because I turn bitchy when things go crazy. I'm also lazy if I'm not at work and my fiancé does a lot of the household chores because he's OCD about neatness.

[calimojo]

I have a developing fear of flying that wants to become a phobia. I force myself to fly at least once a year or more as an attempt to prevent a full blown phobia from growing

-I cook like I have never heard of heart disease

-I am a Harry Potter nerd

-I am a passionate Jane Austen nerd and read several of the books over and over again

-I must watch Pride & Prejudice in several versions several times a year. In fact I just watched Bride and Prejudice with the lovely Aishwarya Rei and cute Martin Henderson.

-I obsessively plan vacations that sadly I often never get a chance to take in real life.

-I love Real Estate sites, especially in the Pacific Northwest, because I fantasize about living there some day.

-I love all things r/t Killer Whales and I harshly judge those who support captivity ( though I will confess that I secretly wish I had gone to SeaWorld once before I started to develop a conscience about captive cetaceans as I will probably never get a chance to see one up close)

There is much more, but I have to ease you all into my crazy!

[princessmahina]

I'm really reserved, but have a terrible temper. I frequently text my boyfriend rants about things that are going on before/after class.

I have resting bitch face. And frequently intentional-bitchface.

People would probably think I'm vain because I take pains to wear a full face of makeup everyday. I wear it because I like it though, and because I like creating new looks, not because I feel like I have to.

I'm a huge nerd, particularly with theology or history.

Ultimately, I think people would view me in a similar light as Jessa Duggar, even though we have very little in common. I'm so happy I'm not on a reality show :)

[BeccaGrim]

My career...I actually get snarked on all the time for what I do for a living. Under a pen name I will not share here, I do write romance novels. I'm published. But I was totally that stay at home mom writing heroes on horses for awhile dreaming of publication.

Constant losing and gaining of weight.

Adoration of my husband, kids, cats.

My science fiction addiction. I am a member of so many fandomes it isn't even funny.

The constant yoga pants, Uggs, and science fiction t-shirts.

I have really frizzy red hair.

I'm really uber sensitive. I cried three times this morning over three different television shows.

[Rachel333]

I wear yoga pants a LOT. I never wear any kind of shoe besides sneakers or running shoes. I don't wear makeup ever. I rarely do anything with my hair. I wear sports bras almost exclusively.

Haha, every word here is true for me too.

I have horrible fashion sense. I do have a rule about wearing real pants outside of the house because otherwise I would spend all my time in loose sweatpants and a t-shirt (which is exactly what I'm wearing right now).

I don't wear a lot of makeup and never wear jewelry, dresses, paint my nails, etc. If I was doing my own hair I'm sure it would never be done to satisfaction, given the comments I've seen on other women's hair.

I would be incredibly awkward on camera, if I managed to speak at all.

I'm sure they would snark on my weight, as I'm a bit underweight at the moment.

I've got some weird interests, am not very organized, and would probably seem cold to viewers. I've also got OCD, which would probably just come across as being strange.

I say "Ben" as "Bin" and can't figure out how not to make those homophones. I have a similar accent and speaking style to the Duggars, so I'm sure people would be able to find lots of faults there.

God I'm glad I'm not famous!

[Four is Enough]

I am severely overweight. I wear no makeup, but I do love my jewelry.

I bite my nails.

I don't clean until I can't stand it any more, then I clean.

I am a messy person who lives with messy people.

I prefer my solitary hobbies to most other pastimes.

I do shop at Goodwill, and often brag on Facebook about my most recent score.

If I'm not doing a solitary hobby, I'm reading.

I'm kind of boring. But I am NOT stupid, nor do I repeat platitudes. Unless I'm snarking on them. :D

[sorchah]

I say "Ben" as "Bin" and can't figure out how not to make those homophones.

You're not alone. If I try and make them distinct, I sound like an idiot. "Behn"?

[ViolaSebastian]

This is a great question.

I would be snarked on for the opposite reason as you Firiel, I think people would make fun of me for being superficial and vain. I do my hair every day and wear a lot of eye make up. I've had a nose job, I'm in the process of getting chemical peels for some acne scarring from my teenage years, and I wear Invisalign. And though I do it because I enjoy it and it's good for me, I also work out about 5x a week and eat healthy because I like staying in shape (and even though I'm a healthy weight and eat quite a bit, I'm sure there would be eating disorder speculation. Because women can never win regarding weight in the court of public opinion).

I'm sort of ridiculously organized and don't like spontaneity. This is not a humble brag, I truly take it to nerdy proportions. Like I have a meal and snack plan for each week, a clothing plan a month out for what I'm wearing to work, and my day planner is like Teri Mawell's MOTH schedule. I think people would be speculating on whether or not I have OCD.

Actually I'm a bit like Jessa (looks, upbringing, and political views aside). I'm not very emotional or demonstrative. People often comment on how reserved I am. So I can see a lot of the criticism directed toward her about being cold and manipulative also being directed at me.

Off topic, but how long does it take you to heal from your chemical peels? I'm looking into getting one and I've heard 5-10 days, but I need to be able to be presentable (not terrifying to children) the day after.

I guess I would get the vanity snark too. And try as I might, I cannot find a pair of jeans that doesn't look like mom jeans thanks to a pudgy middle.

[FundieWatcher]

I only shower and wash my hair twice a week. The average person probably thinks that is gross. After the gym I use baby wipes. I just think it better for your skin or at least my skin. I wash my face once a day though.

Oh and I'm obsessed with Buffy the vampire slayer.

[feministxtian]

What I would get snarked on....

Never eating at the table...

The way I talk to my kids (we're a sarcastic, profane bunch, doesn't mean anything but an outsider would think I hated my kids and my kids hated me) The kids are grown by the way.

My addiction to the science channel and REALLY BAD SyFy channel movies.

I'm pretty lazy

My H does most of the housework

I NEVER wear shoes indoors.

I'm obsessed with my car and car club

I'm probably one of the most boring people alive

My rants over stupid politicians

I only shower 2-3 times a week because of dry skin and allergies

[twin2]

Good questions. Think I would get snarked on for the follwing:

1. My fashion sense. Like others, I dress for comfort. I am pretty presentable for work, except in the summer I could probably pass for a fundie as I am typically in long flowy skirts (not because they are modest, but because the cool and comfy and dressy enough for work). Second I'm through the door I'm in soft, stretchy comply cloths, sans bra. Weekends too. I have been known to go grocery shopping on Sunday morning in what some might call pajama pants.

2. My housekeeping skills. I HATE cleaning. It was my New Year's resolution to keep a cleaner house and so far I am living up to that, but it will never sparkle. I'm about 2 steps above Zsu.

3. How ridiculously early I seem to be going to bed these days.

4. My job. I'm employed in what is one of the more hated industries.

5. My odd obsession with teh fundies....

[KittenMitten]

I only shower and wash my hair twice a week. The average person probably thinks that is gross. After the gym I use baby wipes. I just think it better for your skin or at least my skin. I wash my face once a day though.

Oh and I'm obsessed with Buffy the vampire slayer.

I have to agree with you on the shower part and also use wipes for TPA daily. I have very dry skin, especially in winter. Less showering has been helpful, but I do miss showers daily.