How would we snark on YOU?

[bionicmlle]

Oh this is great!!!

-- Animal rights/Pet spaying and neutering (In fact, I just LAST WEEK got into a RHOXX-worthy fight with someone about this)

-- I hate newsprint - it gives me the willies

-- I probably drink a wee bit too much wine on occasion (see #1....)

-- There is a wide and strange variation between what I do for a living and my own, personal behavior.... :cray-cray:

[ScarletStarlet]

I work in a bar and wear booty shorts and pretty much all the make up to work. Like, Ive set the make up gun to whore.

On my days off work I can barely be bothered to brush my hair.

For work, when I'm put in certain areas or tasks, I'll wear the most spectacular dresses and skirts, classic yet hot.

On days off from work I wear stained and old leggings. No bra.

I think I'd do people's heads in based on my appearance.

[KittenMitten]

I sing, and it isn't pretty. I sing in the supermarket when a good song comes on, and yesterday I bumped into one of the kids teachers while doing it. I sing loudly and even dance a little when doing chores. I sing to my pets. My milk snake brings all the boys to the yard. I once didn't realise the front door was open when I was singing to my cat about cleaning her sick off the stairs.

You have a cat and a snake? I have an albino corn snake and 3 cats. Challenging combo, isn't it?

[ILoveJellybeans]

You have a cat and a snake? I have an albino corn snake and 3 cats. Challenging combo, isn't it?

Cat and two snakes, and a whole bunch of tarantulas.

I keep having to get the cat off the snake's tank, probably because its warm and smells of mouse. The cat likes to watch the snakes too, especially when they are actively noodling around their tanks, or when there is food in there.

[KittenMitten]

Cat and two snakes, and a whole bunch of tarantulas.

I keep having to get the cat off the snake's tank, probably because its warm and smells of mouse. The cat likes to watch the snakes too, especially when they are actively noodling around their tanks, or when there is food in there.

I have to pull various cats off snake tank. Snakie looks up at them while they look down at her. When I put her in her travel cage to clean her tank, all three look in at her. I have also used her as a therapy snake. What does your cat think of the tarantulas?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Socks is interested in them when they are out and wandering their tanks, but doesn't notice them when they are hiding. Most of the tarantulas ignore her, except for Scuttles the shy one, who bolts for her hide the second she notices that she is being looked at.

[Miggy]

I love this game!

I am a chaotic slob. My house is a mess, books and stuff everywhere.

According to my oldest son aka Cuteneurorad I am unable to do the dishes properly, he always does them again......

I think I would do them better if I put my reading spectacles on, but I don't.

Latraviata, your house sounds like mine ... mess, book, also music in my case ... perhaps we should leave the cameras out of it and just visit each other.

My snark list;

# I don't trust hair dressers so I just let my hair do what it wants, ie. waist length furball. It is currently navy blue & turquoise.

# My clothes are all black and I only wear skirts and dresses - no pants. (I have one pair of jodhpurs for riding as I don't have a death wish.)

# I only wear boots and have maybe 15-20 pairs. All black, of course, but some have chains/studs.

# I love make up but I tend to favour white foundation, a lot of black eyeliner and green eye shadow.

For all the above, considering the snark Michelle gets for the mullet, the blouses and the black skirts, I think I'd be a much easier target.

# I race huskies. I love it. They love it. However, there are many people out there who don't understand how much the dogs love it and the 'animal cruelty' issue is raised. As this happens in my everyday life, it would be a million times worse on television.

[19 cats and counting]

I am older than dirt and I refuse to act or dress my age. No, I'm not ridiculous in the clothing department, no miniskirts or stuff from teen stores, but apparently I am supposed to be wearing little knit pantsuits or something.

This is a viral article from some fashion blogger on what to stop wearing after 30 and it's incredibly snark worthy. I want to respond saying that now that I am on the wrong side of 30, I need to trade in my Victoria's Secret Pink underwear for beige nylon briefs, my American Eagle jeans for elastic waist polyester capris, and my platform flip flops in for orthopedic shoes.

http://www.rantchic.com/2014/10/24/20-t ... er-age-30/

Snark away (link not broken because it's not fundie related)

ETA I'm almost 35 but look about 23 and still shop in the junior's section. I don't want to dress like my mother or grandmother.

[Firiel]

This is a viral article from some fashion blogger on what to stop wearing after 30 and it's incredibly snark worthy. I want to respond saying that now that I am on the wrong side of 30, I need to trade in my Victoria's Secret Pink underwear for beige nylon briefs, my American Eagle jeans for elastic waist polyester capris, and my platform flip flops in for orthopedic shoes.

http://www.rantchic.com/2014/10/24/20-t ... er-age-30/

Snark away (link not broken because it's not fundie related)

ETA I'm almost 35 but look about 23 and still shop in the junior's section. I don't want to dress like my mother or grandmother.

That list contained mostly things that made me think, "I've never worn that and never will..." with a few items that made me think, "YOU'LL TAKE IT FROM ME OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY, BITCH."

:D

[Miggy]

In my case, you take my sparkly clothes and sparkly eye shadow over my dead body. I will sparkle in a nursing home at 101. Why not? My grandmother was wearing fluoro pink nail polish with sparkles when I visited her last week and she is 101. She is my idol.

[lawfulevil]

That list contained mostly things that made me think, "I've never worn that and never will..." with a few items that made me think, "YOU'LL TAKE IT FROM ME OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY, BITCH."

:D

QFT, 15 years of them being wildly out of fashion didn't stop me from wearing scrunchies, I'm not stopping now.

I love how every single "over 30" article makes it sound like we're not only practically geriatric, but should go straight to hell if we don't have the money or inclination to just fuckin' move into Ann Taylor.

[latraviata]

I love this game!

Latraviata, your house sounds like mine ... mess, book, also music in my case ... perhaps we should leave the cameras out of it and just visit each other.

My snark list;

# I don't trust hair dressers so I just let my hair do what it wants, ie. waist length furball. It is currently navy blue & turquoise.

# My clothes are all black and I only wear skirts and dresses - no pants. (I have one pair of jodhpurs for riding as I don't have a death wish.)

# I only wear boots and have maybe 15-20 pairs. All black, of course, but some have chains/studs.

# I love make up but I tend to favour white foundation, a lot of black eyeliner and green eye shadow.

For all the above, considering the snark Michelle gets for the mullet, the blouses and the black skirts, I think I'd be a much easier target.

# I race huskies. I love it. They love it. However, there are many people out there who don't understand how much the dogs love it and the 'animal cruelty' issue is raised. As this happens in my everyday life, it would be a million times worse on television.

Yes music too and full ashtrays. Ok come over to my house w'll have a fantastic meal and we leave the dishes for what they are.

[Georgiana]

Well, if y'all think Erin Bates-Paine is a "princess" for her hair/make up, then I'm the Queen of Sheba. Make up is a love, hobby, and addiction of mine. I am always trying new looks, always buying new products, and almost always wearing a lot of it. No, I don't think I "need" it. But the hour I spend doing my make up is one of the most calming and self-affirming parts of my day. And yes, I WILL be getting up at 5:30 AM on a Saturday to snag some new releases. You gotta do what you gotta do.

I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively, even to run. I just think pants are uncomfortable.

I can't stand any sort of animal violence. If they kill my horse in Skyrim, I kill them and then reload the game. DON'T. TOUCH. MY. HORSE.

I love trashy TV. I dislike TV with any sort of objective merit. So no, I don't want to watch House of Cards or Orange is the New Black. I want to watch Vanderpump Rules.

I bite my nails. I bite my cuticles. I gave it up once, but it turns out that if I don't bite my nails/cuticles, the next nervous habits on deck are far more annoying.

I give my pets a series of names. The dog is "the Good Doog of Dooglesby, Doog Doogington". That, or "Crazytown". The cats are "Scooty McButts/Fatty/Fatterson/Fattycakes/Fatty Lumpkins/Sir", "Bruder/Keeps/Little Gentleman", and "Lum Lummers/Lambkins/Miss Lady/Lady Girl".

[quiversR4hunting]

I would get snarked on a TON! My husband would get sympathy. I would come off better than Kate G but people would think I am a Witch!

1. I am Catholic and I am the spiritual leader of the house

2. I run the house, the bills and the kids schedules (not that I want to do it all, my husband doesn't and that makes me go nuts sometimes)

3. I yell too often (get frustrated- see #2)

4. I work fulltime, have 3 children, go to grad school, am a girl scout leader and try to have my daughters in things they are interested in (8 week type courses) and so when the schedule gets frantic - see #3

5. I hate my boss, Like my job. I would get sympathy for how my boss acts- she is a true bully. She should be forced to retire- but that is OT.

6. I get super annoyed with my husband's health problems- they are all brought on by himself and wants me to help him eat healthy but then he gets mad when I try and help. So 2 years ago I stopped trying to help and I have less stress. I love him to pieces but I can't make him be healthy.

7. I need to loose about 25 lbs after having 3 kids. I don't get to work out much and complain about the belly fat (see #4 as to why I don't work out)

8. My house is always messy. I don't clean often but I do have a company come in once a month to do the deep stuff. I have given up trying to do it all because I can't and I need sleep. I would love a neat and orderly house but see #2 and 4.

9. I quilt and read (when not taking classes). I need some me time.

10. I am always on the lookout for a good match for my twin brother- he doesn't like it but I think he needs someone and gets lonely.

11. My fashion- I try but I miss the mark - a lot.

Boils down to most people would think I am a complete witch. In reality, I am one of the most loyal and compassionate friends someone can have - just don't piss me off or pick on my friends/family ;)

[Black Aliss]

This is a viral article from some fashion blogger on what to stop wearing after 30 and it's incredibly snark worthy. I want to respond saying that now that I am on the wrong side of 30, I need to trade in my Victoria's Secret Pink underwear for beige nylon briefs, my American Eagle jeans for elastic waist polyester capris, and my platform flip flops in for orthopedic shoes.

http://www.rantchic.com/2014/10/24/20-t ... er-age-30/

Snark away (link not broken because it's not fundie related)

ETA I'm almost 35 but look about 23 and still shop in the junior's section. I don't want to dress like my mother or grandmother.

I'm probably older than your mother, and I don't want to wear what most of my peers wear. But THIS is a good list for those of us of a certain age: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle- ... 56902.html

[Miggy]

I'm probably older than your mother, and I don't want to wear what most of my peers wear. But THIS is a good list for those of us of a certain age: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle- ... 56902.html

That article is brilliant. The first what not to wear advice I've ever seen that I will actually follow. (I'm not 50 yet but really, it's appropriate at most ages.)

[cindyluvs24]

I have fungus on my big toenail.

[Miggy]

I have fungus on my big toenail.

I love the idea that you are going to reveal this fact on your tv show. I'm definitely going to watch.

[thenewclassic]

1. I'll spend 5 hours on social media and then complain about having no free time. I'll also whine about getting up at 5:30 every morning and then never go to bed before 10.

2. I'm lazy, but not super lazy. If I put in a little more effort to everything, my whole life would probably improve.

3. I would say I have a kind of cute sense of style, but I wear the same tops basically every single week. Appearing in the same shirt 3 different times in an episode would definitely be snark-worthy.

4. I tend to sit in my room and rant alone to the mirror a lot...

[Aggie2145]

That list contained mostly things that made me think, "I've never worn that and never will..." with a few items that made me think, "YOU'LL TAKE IT FROM ME OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY, BITCH."

:D

I'm with you! I love my navy sparkle eye shadow and hoop earrings...just try to pry them from my hands. But I've never owned furry anything, a tube top or a crop top. And for some reason, American Eagle and A&F never fit me correctly. Even in high school, I was chronically between sizes and their pants were never long enough.

What exactly qualifies as a graphic tee? I own some amazing vintage concert shirts and it would be a crime to leave them in my closet.

[Quiverfullofit]

If I had a panic attack on screen, I'd get snarked on hard-core for being such a bitch and throwing a fit over whatever small thing caused my anxiety to overflow into a panic attack.

ME! Plus I'm really emotional anyway. I guess I'd seem average on the outside but inside I'm a lot of emotions. Plus I have a short temper.

I dress well and love looking nice but if I'm at home and don't have class the next day I will probably not shower/get dressed.

I'm super in love with my girlfriend. It's two and a half years later but I still constantly mention her in any conversation. I'm a little puppy basically.

I overly give. I dislike people but if I do actually like you I will spoil you to death. It's your birthday? Here, take 10 presents I made by hand. But I'm really bad at getting things for myself. I'd probably get snark on how I should take care of myself and not others. (I already do so it'd probably be more with a tv show!)

I have acne on my chin. Most people don't care about it but if America was watching I know I'd get snarked on.

[AuntCloud]

I would get snarked on a TON! My husband would get sympathy. I would come off better than Kate G but people would think I am a Witch!

1. I am Catholic and I am the spiritual leader of the house

2. I run the house, the bills and the kids schedules (not that I want to do it all, my husband doesn't and that makes me go nuts sometimes)

3. I yell too often (get frustrated- see #2)

4. I work fulltime, have 3 children, go to grad school, am a girl scout leader and try to have my daughters in things they are interested in (8 week type courses) and so when the schedule gets frantic - see #3

5. I hate my boss, Like my job. I would get sympathy for how my boss acts- she is a true bully. She should be forced to retire- but that is OT.

6. I get super annoyed with my husband's health problems- they are all brought on by himself and wants me to help him eat healthy but then he gets mad when I try and help. So 2 years ago I stopped trying to help and I have less stress. I love him to pieces but I can't make him be healthy.

7. I need to loose about 25 lbs after having 3 kids. I don't get to work out much and complain about the belly fat (see #4 as to why I don't work out)

8. My house is always messy. I don't clean often but I do have a company come in once a month to do the deep stuff. I have given up trying to do it all because I can't and I need sleep. I would love a neat and orderly house but see #2 and 4.

9. I quilt and read (when not taking classes). I need some me time.

10. I am always on the lookout for a good match for my twin brother- he doesn't like it but I think he needs someone and gets lonely.

11. My fashion- I try but I miss the mark - a lot.

Boils down to most people would think I am a complete witch. In reality, I am one of the most loyal and compassionate friends someone can have - just don't piss me off or pick on my friends/family ;)

Yo, are you me? Two kids rather than three, cultural-Jewish rather than Catholic, and a headship who actually nudges me to be healthier, but other than that, your answers are scarily identical to what I would have written. Oh, and I'm an only child but I happen to have someone wonderful who I want to set up with someone, badly.

Oh, and I have a Jew-fro, it's dry and frizzy and there's no amount of moisturizer that can make it work.

See you at the quilting subforum? I'm hand-piecing a Shoeman's Puzzle queen-size quilt for Cloudlet #2, machine-making a zig-zag table runner for a friend, and planning a disappearing nine patch baby quilt for my colleague.

[Peas n carrots]

This is a viral article from some fashion blogger on what to stop wearing after 30 and it's incredibly snark worthy. I want to respond saying that now that I am on the wrong side of 30, I need to trade in my Victoria's Secret Pink underwear for beige nylon briefs, my American Eagle jeans for elastic waist polyester capris, and my platform flip flops in for orthopedic shoes.

http://www.rantchic.com/2014/10/24/20-t ... er-age-30/

Snark away (link not broken because it's not fundie related)

ETA I'm almost 35 but look about 23 and still shop in the junior's section. I don't want to dress like my mother or grandmother.

Most of those I wouldn't advise anyone wearing...just not flattering on 95% of body types.

But she can take my silver hoop earrings and band r-shirts out of my cold dead hands!

[Lissa1481]

This is fun!

Mine would be. ..

1. My weight. I'm not terribly overweight but all of the extra weight is in my midsection making me look 5-6 months pregnant. I hate the awkwardness of being asked (which happens all the freaking time ) so I just smile at strangers and give them a due date. I never see them again anyway.

2. I don't wear make up. I hardly shave my legs in the winter, I will in the summer just to go swimming. But I can't stand under arm hair and I shave it daily.

3.I hate bras and wear cheap bikini tops nearly every day instead.

4. I hate paying for hair cuts. My 17 year old cuts my hair. My five year old has never had a professional hair cut. I always do her hair.

5. I home school but only my youngest.

6. I hate most tv but I like movies. I will watch buffy the vampire slayer and househunters international.

7. I wear boots or flip flops and nothing in between. The boots can have no heel because I can't walk in them I'm just too clumsy.

There is probably more. I'm pretty strange, the more I think about it.

[RosyDaisy]

For me the question should be what wouldn't you snark about. I'm an inbred bitchy redneck from Alabama (minus the bigotry, homophobia, and fundie).