Mary Maxwell graduates (aka 30 years of homeschooling)

[rural juror]

All the Maxwell kids have the weird squinty smile at first. I think that's what happens when little kids are told to smile for photos and they're not good at producing a natural-looking smile yet. That's why I think non-posed pictures are better (even if they are not smiling).

Also, I think by "selfie photos", Sarah meant "photos of other people as they take selfies", not actual selfies themselves. It sound a little better in that context. Still odd though!

[Hane]

Re the white tights on babies thing: It's still a bit chilly in parts of the US, and tights keep those little legs warm, because God forbid the Maxhellions relax the skirts-only rule for babies.

And no shoes are allowed indoors in Maxhell.

[Hane]

If Teri had such fond memories of the zoo, then she should have gotten in the car and taken her grandchildren herself. I can't stand inept women. She has money, a car, and two legs. There is no reason that she couldn't have done it without an entire brigade to go along with her. Shame on her for showing her daughters such a helpless attitude

YES to the zillionth power! Woman, get off your dead @$$ and have some ambition! I feel the same way about non-fundie women who drag their men to the mall and make them go shopping, or force them to see movies the guys have no interest in.

[Antimony]

I think you're referring to the one of John holding up Christina. Christina has a very unusual smile, and her eyes always look squinty.

I believe she has some vision issues. I have never seen a picture of her where her eyes and smile don't look suspect.

I think the Maxwells do get medical treatment for their children (thankfully), so hopefully this (if it's the case) is being attended to.

Their middle daughter, Bethany is particularly beautiful. I can't help but think she'll grow up to be a gorgeous woman (who probably lives in isolation with her siblings :cry: ).

Yep you're right. I know she's always squinty but her mouths expression looks upset in this photo and the other one at the aquarium.

I also really can't tell the men apart and it doesn't help that they all have extremely common names, somehow. It's like reading a really boring book. Nothing wrong with common names but combined with their blandness, I just can't determine who is what.

I have my own names for them when I can pick them out. I'll share.

Nerdy Maxwell

Sarah

Maybe Sarah (this is usually how I notice Anna)

Gonna Bite Me Maxwell (Who I've been told is John)

Slightly Balding Maxwell

So that's what I use when I get a photo I can sort of recognize.

The Maxwells would be a very good subject of a Night Vale esque podcast or maybe you could write Southern Gothic style literature about them. It's the perfect level of creepy provided by Steve with the right kind of veneer this genre likes to discuss.

[sparkles]

While I definitely think there's something going on with Christina's eyes (she takes after Nathan there, excluding the crossed appearance), if you look back through the blog to when Abby and Bethany were toddlers, you can see that the funny, crinkly smile is one they all shared. I'll be interested to see if Andrew has it too. Whether it's trained out of them as not being proper or it's just a natural thing, we'll probably never know. It always makes me sad when they outgrow it because it's probably the most real smile you'll ever see on a Maxwell.

Nathan's smile and bug eyes are definitely creepy.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Re Steve's jacket: He arrives at the zoo with a white shirt and the jacket. Later photos the jacket has disappeared (in a diaper bag or folded into a stroller? He isn't carrying it) and then in the restaurant picture he is wearing a T-shirt and jacket. So he got to change his clothes? He came prepared with a change of clothes unlike his womenfolk. A small thing to snark on but I get the narcissist vibe off of him which I am very familiar with as my Dad is one. One thing my Dad is very particular about is clothes and they must always appear immaculate, even after a day at the zoo followed by lunch at the local pizza place.

[Jessica]

Nice homeschooling, Teri. Did you teach Sarah to write this sentence?:

"Drew with a Snugars’ hat he was gifted with!" That just sounds awkward.

THANK YOU!

[Palimpsest]

I also really can't tell the men apart and it doesn't help that they all have extremely common names, somehow. It's like reading a really boring book. Nothing wrong with common names but combined with their blandness, I just can't determine who is what.

I have my own names for them when I can pick them out. I'll share.

Nerdy Maxwell

Sarah

Maybe Sarah (this is usually how I notice Anna)

Gonna Bite Me Maxwell (Who I've been told is John)

Slightly Balding Maxwell

So that's what I use when I get a photo I can sort of recognize.

The Maxwells would be a very good subject of a Night Vale esque podcast or maybe you could write Southern Gothic style literature about them. It's the perfect level of creepy provided by Steve with the right kind of veneer this genre likes to discuss.

Yes! to the bolded.

Perhaps my method of Maxwell identification will help.

Sons:

Nondescript - Nathan

Steve's eyes :shock: - Christopher

Not John - Joseph

Dimples + bottom (rear end slightly too large for my taste) - John

Glasses - Jesse

Daughters:

Sarah

Almost Sarah - Anna

Not Sarah - Mary

IIRC, John and the girls all have Teri's eyes, which are beautiful in person.

[slickcat79]

All the Maxwell kids have the weird squinty smile at first. I think that's what happens when little kids are told to smile for photos and they're not good at producing a natural-looking smile yet. That's why I think non-posed pictures are better (even if they are not smiling).

Also, I think by "selfie photos", Sarah meant "photos of other people as they take selfies", not actual selfies themselves. It sound a little better in that context. Still odd though!

It's even weirder that way, because unless they're being completely ridiculous, who wants to take pics of other people taking selfies?

But yeah, given that it's Anna taking the selfie and not Sarah, she's probably just making people confused with her word choices. As per usual.

Also, anyone who has ever planned any event anywhere knows how hard it is to coordinate schedules. It becomes remarkably easier when 2/3 of the people involved do nothing all day, and the rest set their own schedules.

[2 much chickenetti]

That. Hat. That they put on poor Joseph. I mean, I understand sun protection and all, but yikes. Is that like a thing? Or is Christopher just intent on making his entire family as dorky as possible?

Hats like that on day-long outings are the norm here (Southwestern U.S.) for little kids. It's not just about skin protection, it's also about preventing heat exhaustion (I had a nice bout of that when I was 8 and refused to wear my hat on a class hike because it didn't match my outfit).

That being said, Josh's hat is a bit more extreme then most, it looks like something they bought at REI last summer in preparation for what some might call a vacation.

[anjulibai]

No, she's 6. 6 - 4 - 2 - baby, they are 2 years apart...

She's 7 next month though.

I noticed that she wore an ankle length denim skirt like her aunts, too. I hope this doesn't signal a change for her in what she's allowed to do. The ABC girls have always been able to run around and play with at least some regularity.

[mango_fandango]

Hats like that on day-long outings are the norm here (Southwestern U.S.) for little kids. It's not just about skin protection, it's also about preventing heat exhaustion (I had a nice bout of that when I was 8 and refused to wear my hat on a class hike because it didn't match my outfit).

That being said, Josh's hat is a bit more extreme then most, it looks like something they bought at REI last summer in preparation for what some might call a vacation.

I saw that picture, and to me it looked like the kind of hat Australian kids wear as part of their school uniform, as it's ridiculously hot over there.

Side-note: It kind of bums me out that the kids can't have any kind of fun, as I'd like to imagine that some of the boys reacted to a zoo trip like Dudley Dursley does in Harry Potter- "WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO!" and jumping up and down on the stairs.

[Canuck]

Is Nathan a firefighter? He's wearing a Leavensworth Fire and Rescue T-shirt.

[nausicaa]

Is Nathan a firefighter? He's wearing a Leavensworth Fire and Rescue T-shirt.

I was wondering about that as well...

[VodouDoll]

He does some kind of IT consulting. Maybe he's a volunteer firefighter or got the tshirt as a thank you for a donation or he took the ABCs to the fire station to see the truck and visitors get shirts. That would be cool.

[latraviata]

Re Steve's jacket: He arrives at the zoo with a white shirt and the jacket. Later photos the jacket has disappeared (in a diaper bag or folded into a stroller? He isn't carrying it) and then in the restaurant picture he is wearing a T-shirt and jacket. So he got to change his clothes? He came prepared with a change of clothes unlike his womenfolk. A small thing to snark on but I get the narcissist vibe off of him which I am very familiar with as my Dad is one. One thing my Dad is very particular about is clothes and they must always appear immaculate, even after a day at the zoo followed by lunch at the local pizza place.

In Steve's defence, the men folk in our family wear a jacket at the diner table (or any table). Provided they already wear a jacket. My late father once said about my sister's new boyfriend, well he takes his jacket off when we eat, we put our jackets on.

FYI Cuteneurorad never wears a jacket when he visits me, so he can't take it off. However, a formal dinner, he wears a jacket and he won't take it off, never!

[Peas n carrots]

RE: to jacket - this time of year in the Midwest the days start cool and then warm up by early afternoon. Depending on their timing, the jacket may have been worn earlier in the day and taken off as it warmed up. Also, it's a pretty large zoo with a lot of big hills so it would have been a workout hauling the family around there. I guarantee the passel of women wearing denim skirts to their ankles would have garnered much more notice than a guy wearing a sports coat.

Since Sarah did such a craptastic job of showing actual stuff to do at the zoo, let me do it for her.

[bBvideo 560,340:39m1dqz5]

[/bBvideo]

[bBvideo 560,340:39m1dqz5]

[/bBvideo]

[bBvideo 560,340:39m1dqz5]

[/bBvideo]

[church_of_dog]

They were at the Omaha zoo, right? Henry Doorly?

I half expected to see them in the background (though I now remember their trip took place weeks ago) when I saw this news clip recently (not broken because regular news site):

Gorilla Cracks Glass Window at Zoo

[nomoxian]

There's a lot more that's narcissistic to Steve than wearing "nice" clothes to the zoo!

My grandfather (RIP) wore a suit everyday. When I was a young child and we could go to the playground, he would wear a suit. He even dressed "over the top" when he was in a care home right before he died... Some people feel comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, and other people prefer wearing "dressy" clothes.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I understand about wearing a jacket at the dinner table and I understand about a change in weather, I just think it is interesting that nobody else removed or added layers and nobody else has a change of shirts. Plus Steve was not the one left to carry his jacket around the zoo-- it's in someone's backpack or stroller. At the pizza place Steve must have taken off his outer shirt, revealing his immaculate white T-shirt underneath and put on the jacket. Meanwhile the rest of the family members at the pizza place appear to be wearing the same outfits they started the day with.

It isn't just about wearing a jacket while others are wearing T-shirts, it's about fussing over one's appearance at all times. We have an old home video of Dad and I dying Easter eggs in a completely joyless manner. He is wearing a suit covered by an apron and I am wearing an apron and he is showing me how to be extremely careful when dipping the egg so as not to splash anything. If I had splashed anything, I would have been in trouble Dad would have immediately gone to change his clothes. Steve reminds me of my Dad so much

[latraviata]

There's a lot more that's narcissistic to Steve than wearing "nice" clothes to the zoo!

My grandfather (RIP) wore a suit everyday. When I was a young child and we could go to the playground, he would wear a suit. He even dressed "over the top" when he was in a care home right before he died... Some people feel comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, and other people prefer wearing "dressy" clothes.

Yes, my father too, he always wore a suit. In the mid sixties he reluctantly wore sports jackets, Harris tweed and modest Higgins plaid, that sort of thing. Later on in life and times were changing he was very comfortable in ribcord/corduroy trousers and jumpers, Formal occasions, suits and never took the jacket off.

[bekkah]

I LOVE that zoo. Anyway, I was there looking at the gorillas one time. Big daddy decided it was time for some rough but sweet fellowship. All the parents took their young children away from that scene. I watched it.

Do you think Steve had to shield his daughters from that scene. I hope they got to enjoy watching some sweet fellowship. :twisted:

[LurkerOverThePond]

I wonder if they ever run into animals engaging in sweet fellowship on their zoo/safari trips... Are all the unmarried children supposed to avert their gaze? :think:

+1

I have wondered this many times (I know, I have too much free time). The Maxwells have visited zoos and safari parks several times and surely have encountered animals either "enjoying" themselves or each other... I'm sure the chidults are told to look away but they must have gotten a glimpse or two. And to think of it, I hope that is not their only sex ed before marriage, seeing monkeys at it (sorry for the mental image), but I wouldn't put it past Stevehovah & Terified to totally ignore this part of their precious kids' upbringing. Joe and the Love Of His Life figured it all out quickly and this makes me wonder what they actually know about sweet fellowshipping when they get married :think:

Some random thoughts:

-poor lil' Josh's sunhat seems like it's adult size and maybe that's why it looks so weird. On the other hand, Chris and NR Anna like to put their kids in straitjackets at the dinner table because a bib is obviously not enough, so maybe they just really like to cover their kids from the elements (see Ruthie's tights and cardigan). It cannot be because of a cool weather since the same aged Tina and Drew are in bare legs and t-shirts.

-as much as I detest pretty much everything the Maxhells represent, I have to give a little credit to them: a) the boys cook every now and then, and b) the boys seem very natural and gentle around their nieces and nephews (see Joe and John in these zoo pictures). They certainly are involved in the kids' lives.

-Joe & Elissa look very happy. I certainly hope they stay that way, for Elissa's sake. By the way, I love her shoes.

-Nathan's jeans are pretty defrauding. Thank God his crazy eyes kill all the interest I might have.

-Sarah's camera bag must kill her shoulder and neck muscles. Such a heavy bag hurts so bad after a long day. That's way I changed into a camera backpack (photography is my dear hobby) and never looked back.

-Porky DOES look pissed off :lol:

-I shudder to say this but Steve has aged well and that greyish beard suits him. It's his insanity that is a total turn-off.

[SPHASH]

I LOVE that zoo. Anyway, I was there looking at the gorillas one time. Big daddy decided it was time for some rough but sweet fellowship. All the parents took their young children away from that scene. I watched it.

Do you think Steve had to shield his daughters from that scene. I hope they got to enjoy watching some sweet fellowship. :twisted:

I can definitely see getting your younger kids out of there while the gorillas are getting it on, but your 33, 24, 22, 21, and 18 year olds should be able to handle it. If not then you did a shitty job of raising them.

[PennySycamore]

Is it okay that I skipped that video with the spider? I came all too close to a bird-eating spider once at National Zoo. I don't want to even see pictures of big spiders.