Ken Alexander reflects on his time at FJ:

[Koala]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/07/kens-response-to-woman-fearing-my.html

 

Quote

There are those in society who fear what I teach. They are afraid that women will lose all their "rights," as if I have that much power. What they really fear is Truth, God's Truth. Ken responded to one woman who commented on my post about fearing what I write ~

 

That forum {websites that despise Christianity} you refer to is a really sad place for us. I think many of them who comment there are good people whose original interest was in exploring the Fundamentalist mind set and culture, but instead of just exploring it they now use the forum as their attempt to punish those with whom they disagree. The most ardent detractors are those who were hurt by their husbands and in turn blame their church for teaching submission. Once scarred, they see a similar devil behind every tree and a bunch of feminists who certainly would not agree with Lori's message. Would you expect nothing less than attacks from them?

 

I engaged the group for a time and found some to make some valid points which Lori has taken into consideration in the tone and some substance on her blog. For instance, we did spank our kids and we are big proponents of spanking toddlers as an excellent method of communications and training. We hate seeing parents running around all day saying "no" a hundred times and threatening time out only to be exhausted and lose their joy in parenting, when a small swat on the bottom can quickly solve the issue.

 

We raised four godly children this way, and have seen no scars from it, only the learning of joyful discipline. Can spanking go too far? You bet! But to this group you have listened to, no spanking at all is their mantra and they are sticking to it as if a swat was a punch in the nose to our children. Their penchant for mischaracterization is what I most objected to. No matter how much I gave an accurate interpretation of what we believe and how we apply it, they would take another phrase from Lori's three years of writings and somehow twist it to make us look bad.

 

We have learned from the group that when a blogger writes, they have to be considerate of those who may exaggerate what is said on one side or the other. So Lori has added some extra words to some of her posts just to try to be clearer for the 1% who might miss the meaning of her message.

 

Examples ~ Obedience does not mean accepting any form or threat of physical abuse. Spanking is to be done modestly and if you choose not to spank, God is not necessarily displeased, but you are responsible for raising godly, well-disciplined children.

 

As Lori has said, read her words for yourself. There are many blogs with which I object what is written, but I do not send them hateful words, nor try to shut down their blogs or try to damage their businesses. This group you speak of has stepped over the line and are liable for at a minimum gross and continual mischaracterizations, along with defamation of character. All because they disagree with what Lori teaches as she reads her Bible. Is Lori not entitled to an opinion or a means of expressing herself in training the younger women to love their husbands and be great mothers? That would be a shame if this group could shut her out with their screaming, as the fruit of her minister is so powerful and abundant. But that is what they fear; another generation of Bible believing children carrying on the message of how to have a Biblical marriage and family.

 

Can you even imagine how many godly offspring those Duggar children will produce for Jesus?! To us that is pure joy, and to them they spend hours each week trying to stop fundamentalist teaching everywhere they can. We build and they tear down and destroy. Sounds like another battle we are all familiar with in the Christian life.

 

Funny, I can handle the defamation better than I can the profanity that comes from some of their comments. If I could have continued a sane conversation I might still be engaged in a discussion with some of them, but when you have a few already predisposed haters who believe all spanking is wrong, no matter how you try to defend spanking, in their mind you are a child abuser. They are haters that really believe that what they are doing is a service to society. To get young ladies to avoid the truth taught in Lori’s blog because they believe it so harmful, even as many have proven with their own lives that doing things God’s ways can produce wonderful godly results in your marriage.

 

I promise you that we are not of any group out there, nor do we really consider ourselves Fundamentalists until we were put in that box by others. We approach the Bible as it is written and accept it all as God’s Word and truth. If you can find anything with which you disagree you are welcome to catch us on it, so long as the comments are not profanity laced or accusatory, or you are an obvious troll seeking to distract from and destroy the message with nonsense. We welcome healthy discussions. But in our minds, spanking and husband leadership are two important aspects of creating a healthy Biblical family and marriage. Lori is not about to give those things up in her message because some have abused them, and some may in the future. The best she can do is honor God’s Word and her life experiences, and try to moderate her strong message by adding that abuse of any form is not an acceptable part of the Christian life for abuser or the abused. I am glad you are seeing the questions and seeing through the mess and confusion they are purposely trying to create.

Take home message? We quoted Lori and Ken directly so he had her go back and edit her posts so they don't look like exactly what they are.

[jerkit]

"We welcome healthy discussions"

LOLOLOLOLOL

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh god, laughing so hard I can't breathe.

:liar: :liar: :liar:

[PrairieGirl]

Does he actually name FJ by name? What a smug, scared little weasel.

[jerkit]

Does he actually name FJ by name? What a smug, scared little weasel.

No. He and CM refer to it as a "certain place" or "that forum" in their comments to each other.

[polecat]

They are afraid that women will lose all their "rights,"

Scare quotes around rights. That's interesting.

Ken, repeating your wife's own words is NOT mischaracterization. I realize that grammar and spelling are not your (either of your) strong points, but that doesn't mean you get to randomly assign your own definition to words you do not understand. :shifty-kitty:

[formergothardite]

Can you even imagine how many godly offspring those Duggar children will produce for Jesus?!

Just looking at the average, mega-sized ATI family, I'm going with "Not that many." By the way Ken, people used to say this exact same thing about my large family. :lol:

[docmom]

So we're free to comment as long as we don't disagree. OK.

And, yes, we are very worried about losing our rights- our right to self-determination, to live as independent adult human beings among others because those are the rights women lose under the submission for all Lori master plan.

[Brittany15]

I find the "website that despises Christianity" comment interesting. He clearly does not really understand FJ. This is a place that people of all views and faiths are welcome. We despise the mistreatment of woman, neglect of children, and anyone that takes away the rights of an adult. These views do not go against true Christianity and anyone who is a true Christian would find that these things align nicely with the teachings of Jesus. What Would Jesus Do? I think Jesus may be on this forum telling Ken to treat people with a little more kindness.

[jerkit]

I find the "website that despises Christianity" comment interesting. He clearly does not really understand FJ. This is a place that people of all views and faiths are welcome. We despise the mistreatment of woman, neglect of children, and anyone that takes away the rights of an adult. These views do not go against true Christianity and anyone who is a true Christian would find that these things align nicely with the teachings of Jesus. What Would Jesus Do? I think Jesus may be on this forum telling Ken to treat people with a little more kindness.

I've tried multiple times to explain to Ken (because Lori won't engage with me) and CM that I am a Christian. I attend church regularly, pray and read the Bible daily. They just don't get that people who interpret scripture differently can also love Jesus.

[Firiel]

I've tried multiple times to explain to Ken (because Lori won't engage with me) and CM that I am a Christian. I attend church regularly, pray and read the Bible daily. They just don't get that people who interpret scripture differently can also love Jesus.

You're a Christian?

Your disgusting screenname proves differently! ;)

Ken seems to insist that I'm not a true Christian because True Christianity^TM would have protected me from divorce, so... yeah.

[jerkit]

You're a Christian?

Your disgusting screenname proves differently! ;)

Ken seems to insist that I'm not a true Christian because True Christianity^TM would have protected me from divorce, so... yeah.

I cannot possibly be a Christian woman and lift weights. Impossible.

[PrairieGirl]

I find the "website that despises Christianity" comment interesting. He clearly does not really understand FJ. This is a place that people of all views and faiths are welcome. We despise the mistreatment of woman, neglect of children, and anyone that takes away the rights of an adult. These views do not go against true Christianity and anyone who is a true Christian would find that these things align nicely with the teachings of Jesus. What Would Jesus Do? I think Jesus may be on this forum telling Ken to treat people with a little more kindness.

This.

[littlemommy]

I'm going to use some Alexander logic here. Prepare for your mind to be blown.

Good christians don't swear.

People on FJ swear, therefore those people aren't good christitans.

Mrs. Cabinetman swears ("bitches"), therefore she isn't a good christian.

People on Fj swear. Mrs. Cabinetman swears. Therefore Mrs. Cabinetman is a member of FJ.

Right??

Oh, and Mr. Cabinetman IS a member of FJ, with a respectable post count.

[usmcmom]

Ken, I am really very tired of your statement that this group "hates Christianity." I find it offensive and I am really starting to get angry at your continued repetition of this mischaracterization.

There are many Christians on FJ and I am one of them. I felt no hesitation in letting my fellow members know of my faith. I have never felt disparaged or minimized on here because of my faith. In fact, I dusted off my username and started commenting because of you, Ken. I just could no longer stay silent as you and Lori represented my faith the way you do. I do not interpret scripture the way you do, yet you will never find me accusing you and your wife of "hating Christianity." Those words are offensives and I ask you to please stop saying them about this group.

Also, please stop complaining about the profanity on FJ if you are going to be such a regular commenter on Cabinet Man's blog. Is it because he uses foul language to be "manly," that you tolerate it from him? You can't have it both ways, Ken. If you are going to disparage FJ members for cussing, we need to see you admonish your blogging buddy for the same thing. Oh, and while I'm on here, please stop slamming us for using pseudonyms. You mention this on Cabinet Man's blog a lot too when his whole identity is wrapped up in a couple different pseudonyms. You choose to use your full name on the internet. Good for you. Some of us, INCLUDING YOUR FRIEND, choose not to. Again, either stop slamming us for doing so or call your buddy out for the same offense.

[jerkit]

Did anyone catch happywife's comment before lori deleted?

[usmcmom]

Did anyone catch happywife's comment before lori deleted?

No, but Lori's response is as hateful as ever:

Lori Alexander · 43 minutes ago

Yes, HappyWife, I have deleted your comment. I will not allow slander of godly people on my blog. If you wish to slander this precious family, you are going to have to do it elsewhere. This website that Ken wrote about in this post does it all the time. It will have NO part on my blog. Thank you for understanding.

She's basically saying HappyWife is NOT a godly person. I assume the comment was about the Pearls? Also, why do these people have to throw around the word "slander" so readily. Good grief.

[Closed Womb]

Awww, he just can't quit us, can he? Just under his skin, aren't we? Poor guy probably lies awake at night trying to think of ways that we are wrong and best he can do is Lori (mis)speaks for God, and God is right, so...

[jerkit]

No, but Lori's response is as hateful as ever:

Lori Alexander · 43 minutes ago

Yes, HappyWife, I have deleted your comment. I will not allow slander of godly people on my blog. If you wish to slander this precious family, you are going to have to do it elsewhere. This website that Ken wrote about in this post does it all the time. It will have NO part on my blog. Thank you for understanding.

She's basically saying HappyWife is NOT a godly person. I assume the comment was about the Pearls? Also, why do these people have to throw around the word "slander" so readily. Good grief.

Lori makes up her own definition for words. We need to write a new dictionary.

[Firiel]

No, but Lori's response is as hateful as ever:

Lori Alexander · 43 minutes ago

Yes, HappyWife, I have deleted your comment. I will not allow slander of godly people on my blog. If you wish to slander this precious family, you are going to have to do it elsewhere. This website that Ken wrote about in this post does it all the time. It will have NO part on my blog. Thank you for understanding.

She's basically saying HappyWife is NOT a godly person. I assume the comment was about the Pearls? Also, why do these people have to throw around the word "slander" so readily. Good grief.

My Facebook status yesterday after someone tried to call Rachel Held Evans article about Driscoll slander:

ATTENTION:

Two things must be true for a statement to qualify as libel/slander: 1) it must claim to be fact and not be identifiable as opinion and 2) it must be untrue

This PSA was made possible by someone really, really sick of seeing the word "libel" used when the person really means "I disagree."

Seriously, everyfundieever. Get a dictionary.

[alba]

My Facebook status yesterday after someone tried to call Rachel Held Evans article about Driscoll slander:

Seriously, everyfundieever. Get a dictionary.

Which makes his comment that we're a bunch of Christianity-hates FAR closer to defamation than what we say about him.

[freethemall]

You're a Christian?

Your disgusting screenname proves differently! ;)

Ken seems to insist that I'm not a true Christian because True Christianity^TM would have protected me from divorce, so... yeah.

Are you being sarcastic? I hope so! Nothing gross or unnatural or unChristian about jerking it, and hey, for all we know, jerkit just really loves eating jerk chicken or something...

[2xx1xy1JD]

So, he welcomes "healthy discussion", but refuses to ever consider re-thinking the whole child spanking and wife submission thing. His "discussions" invariably boil down to saying "we believe in this, period."

Oh, and any way of interpreting the bible other than their way is wrong. If you cite studies, you are valuing psychology over God. If you mention your own experience, it still doesn't count because everything would be better if you did it the True Christian way. If you cite Bible verses, you must have gotten them wrong. If you refer to original Greek and Hebrew and put things in context and try to make a reasonably intelligent and sophisticated argument, that's bad because God clearly meant for things to do interpreted literally by any idiot. If you disagree, you are clearly being rebellious to them and be extension to God.

But yeah, healthy discussion is totally welcome.

[jerkit]

Are you being sarcastic? I hope so! Nothing gross or unnatural or unChristian about jerking it, and hey, for all we know, jerkit just really loves eating jerk chicken or something...

My screen name is about weightlifting. Not masturbation or chicken. But I do like chicken of all kinds!

[Firiel]

Are you being sarcastic? I hope so! Nothing gross or unnatural or unChristian about jerking it, and hey, for all we know, jerkit just really loves eating jerk chicken or something...

Yeah, I am. Was hoping the wink face made it clear. :) Jerkit's name is in reference to her hobby of weight lifting, but Wardrobe Wanker made a nice little stab at her uncouth username here on FJ when she commented on his blog.

ETA: Cross-posted with jerkit, but keeping it up so it's clear I wasn't being a dill hole when I chastised her for her username!

[salex]

Ken and CM are baiting us to get more traffic to their sites. I for one never read a lot of blogs by pointless people and am not going to be lured to theirs in the future, since I know they are going for the clicks. I'll comment on what is here, from time to time, but since I view myself and other women as equal in humanity and under God to any man, including CM, Ken and my own husband, and Ken and CM don't view me or other women in that way, there really is no point in further discussion or excitment about what they say that just reiterates this.

For me, it is frustrating to deal with people who base their whole level of supposed superiority on penis and God. I suspect they also find it frustrating to constantly be disagreed with by women who are clearly no supposed to "rebell" against the words, given the obvious lack of a penis and because of their interpretation of the Bible. I wonder if they see it as sort of having an ongoing disagreement with a dog or some other not quite human animal, who God gave them dominion over?

I take a certain satisfaction that my marriage has been long and happy and in particular the frequency of sex (which apparently is quite the big deal to these particular penised people) has been uncoerced and far more frequent than even Cabinetman could imagine... my husband and I scoffed at the idea of only every other day, particularly as an agreed upon contractual sort of thing.

Men of quality don't fear (resent, dislike, whatever) women of equality. This tells me all I need to know about these two command men.