Sparkling Lauren, a super special sparkling surrogacy and a "gayby"

[Rowan]

When I read her "announcement" post, this jumped out at me...

"When I consciously decided to birth a baby and allow someone else to parent the child,"

ALLOW them? If you are their surrogate, this is THEIR child. There is no permission that should be required. She is clearly thinking of this child as hers (which we all could have predicted long ago). The fallout in a few months is going to be nuclear. :(

[happy atheist]

I went back through all the global gayby stuff, trying to figure out which of the men is the father. On the blog they say it is "Titus," but I haven't been able to figure out which one that is.

I wonder if "Titus" is the non-redhead, and they wanted a redheaded surrogate so the child would resemble both fathers.

In any case, they could have found a much more suitable surrogate than Lauren.

[VGL]

Pretty dubious about those dudes now. Their gold medal gay tag for never being tarnished with a vagina, their awful choice of surrogate, firm preferences for looks and gender of the baby, the non commital attitude of one of them, their lack of followers on social media with regards to "global gayby"....

Assuming the delivery goes well and Lauren delivers at home with a midwife, the "gayby" will have been tarnished with her vagina.

[Rowan]

Assuming the delivery goes well and Lauren delivers at home with a midwife, the "gayby" will have been tarnished with her vagina.

And so will they, if they see their baby born. :evil-eye:

[mausi]

Is the photo on her blog announcement current or is that a photo from her pregnancy with Elijah?

[Mama Mia]

I went back through all the global gayby stuff, trying to figure out which of the men is the father. On the blog they say it is "Titus," but I haven't been able to figure out which one that is.

I wonder if "Titus" is the non-redhead, and they wanted a redheaded surrogate so the child would resemble both fathers.

In any case, they could have found a much more suitable surrogate than Lauren.

It's the non-red head who is the bio dad. There was a photo of him on their Facebook or Twitter about him going off to Australia for several weeks, alone. Which makes sense that they would pick a surrogate/bio mom with the physical features of the non-bio dad,

[Antimony]

Yeah, fucking no you can't snark her for deciding to carry and birth a baby when her own baby died just over a year ago. She will not be able to give this baby up.

Also, crippling post partum depression, four children who have only one parent and are probably still traumatised from losing the other and their baby brother. You don't get to fucking abrogate your responsibility to your children because you want super special sparkles.

It's almost certainly her egg. Why else could they have attempted to conceive in both Iceland and Australia? That's turkey baster territory, not IVF clinic.

I posted this before I even got to all the blog posts from the fathers and the like. It does get weirder -- premature opinion. My bad. Also, ouch.

The problem now, though, is, she's fairly far along. Far along enough to post about it as not-Abaigail. What good are the comments on her blog going to do her? It really looks like the best case scenario is the original plan for all parties involved -- if she keeps the baby and runs off with it, she leaves to very strange dudes (gold star, eugh) gay dudes heartbroken. Then she has another baby and all these problems aside, a baby boy that likely reminds her of Elijah, etc. If she has another miscarriage, they either give up heartbroken or try it again. And maybe again. Some sort of open surrogacy/adoption seems the best option. She's birthing in Iceland, right, so at least there is some time to establish that openness, a gradual goodbye, hopefully continuing communication.

I also would hope, that depending on how Lauren explained from the beginning, the girls understand what surrogacy entails and regard this baby as belonging to another couple and that will lessen the pain.

Lauren baffles me because a lot of her ideas are great...as ideas. And then her execution of them is less than fantastic. It's very much a, "Oh that sounds g---oh god no, please stop." There's definitely a way to balance her level of sparkling with practicality. I've seen in it some amazing people and I always want it to turn out that way, never does.

[nausicaa]

I absolutely agree. One of the dads wrote that he really really wanted a boy but thought the universe might give him a girl to teach him to value females. He is relieved they are having a boy (which is insane, cause a boy is just about guaranteed to ramp up Lauren's crazy).

I find the "global Gayby" thing so irritating and the whole tokenising of the gayness of the couple offensive. Lauren is having a ba y for a gay couple as some sort of apology for being a homophobic bigot for years. It's insane and so misguided. How about just being nice to gay people and teaching your daughters they are people like any other instead of fetishising them? She actually offered to have a baby for her father and his partner first. This is all tied up with her relationship with him, her shunning him for years, and her constant need for attention and accolades.

The more I learn about these guys, the less I like them.

They would need to have a daughter in order to "value females"??? This is like the patriarchal bullshit we hear. How about that women are humans beings too, end of sentence? And your son, who statistically most likely will be straight, will need to interact with them and learn how to form healthy relationships with them.

Also, acting like seeing a vagina is gross or some sort of attack on one's homosexuality is no less childish than me as a straight woman acting grossed out and covering my eyes when I see two men being affectionate with one another.

Vaginas are the genitals of over half the world's population, get the eff over it.

(It also makes me wonder how helpful they will be with Lauren as her pregnancy progresses if they take this puerile view of biology. Are leaky boobs, flatulence, and incontinence just too yucky to deal with? Seriously, some shit goes down that third trimester.)

And yes, I'm on board with everyone who doesn't like the "gayby" thing. It's one thing if a grown child of gay parents chooses to call him or herself that, but referring to a fetus with that title makes it seem like their child is the latest iPad or Lexus. It's not a trend, it's a little human being, the same as any other baby who happens to have straight parents.

Seriously, it's like these people are trying to reinforce some of the worst stereotypes the fundies believe in.

ETA: Sorry for the tome, I was just really pissed.

[anjulibai]

Is the global gayby blog working for anyone anymore? Just curious, because I'd really like to read it.

[ViolaSebastian]

Is the global gayby blog working for anyone anymore? Just curious, because I'd really like to read it.

I went to google cache to access it, it was removed yesterday after Lauren's entry about her pregnancy started to blow up.

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/s ... Fpaged%3D2

Lauren writes about watching a movie about a surrogate who is "clearly mentally unhinged." Err...

All this makes me just plain pissed on behalf of the taxpayers of Australia. I'm not buying the whole "grandmother's estate" business. I think she's paying for this through her child payments and the generosity of the people who read her blog and donate money to help the girls. Also, here's a hint, if you're "looking for ways to get around legislation", what you're doing just might be against the law.

I also find it a bit strange that a man with two sisters felt he needed to be taught to value females. I also could have gone forever without hearing that the partner who supplied the sperm felt that whispering "come out little baby" ruined sperm retrieval mood. Although, I have been looking for an opportunity to use this smilie:

Oh, and this one: :fubar:

[happy atheist]

In the post referencing the gold star gays, he was talking about how uncomfortable biodad was when Lauren "accidentally" brushed up against his thigh while shifting gears. I don't know how one does that in a vehicle as large a s the coaster, but I digress. The part that bothered me more than the gold star comments was that Lauren, seeing his discomfort, began stroking his thigh on purpose. Apparently all involved found it hilarious, but it strikes me as unwanted sexual touching, and really icky.

[Chowder Head]

I am very concerned: What happens if she dies? Where will these baby girls go if they are left in iceland? Do the girls go to foster care there or be shipped back home and to whom?

Another note: I also see her leaving her girls when they get to old to manage.

[ViolaSebastian]

A comment from her blog:

56 · Anonymouse · 28 July 2014, 04:28

The free-jinger ppl are insulting you, as usual, and insulting the dads. they are disgusting.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=22687

Hi Homegirl Ruby! And anyone else who reads this! This is an f-ed up situation for those girls and you know it!

[Blahblah]

Hi Sparkle-fan girls. Pull your heads out of the rainbow clouds for just a few seconds and look properly please. No one is insulting Sparkles and the men involved.

We are simply having opinions. Opinions that two uber-weird guys from Iceland (one of whom seems remarkably ambivalent about the whole thing) should not inseminate a deranged woman from halfway around the world. And having opinions that said deranged woman should not be birthing a baby boy with the intention of giving him up, with so much unresolved grief around the tragic death of her first baby boy. And even if Sparkles thinks she has grieved appropriately, her girls surely have not.

Sparkle-fan girls, what do you think this will do to those poor girls, especially Aisha and Brioni who will remember Elijah clearly? Mum drags them halfway around the world to give birth to a new baby boy...and then they leave without him.

And what of her postpartum depression? You know, the black dog that left her withdrawn from the world and bedridden while David cared for all the children? What if that happens again? Because it's hormonal. With her history it is almost inevitable. You can't sparkle-wish it away. It needs proper medical care. And she is responsible for four little girls and living in a bus.

I could go on but you Sparkle-fangirls will tell me I am being negative and hurtful and everything is perfect. Well, no. No it isn't.

[Arete]

I am very concerned: What happens if she dies? Where will these baby girls go if they are left in iceland? Do the girls go to foster care there or be shipped back home and to whom?

Another note: I also see her leaving her girls when they get to old to manage.

I have expressed this in writing before, and I will do it again. The best, and I do mean the VERY best thing that could happen to those girls is for Lauren to either abandon them or surrender them to Australian social services. They would then be in the hands of adults who would at least be acting with their best interests in mind. There would be a possibility of being placed with friends or relatives, but even with a non relative foster placement, things would get done. Baths, bedtimes, grooming, regular non foraged meals, timely appropriate medical care, education, grief counseling and therapy, a real roof over their heads, adults they could count on...all things any child deserves that Lauren makes conscious decisions to withhold from her daughters.

What are they going to get? An extra load of grief on top of the one they already carry for Elijah when they have another brother taken away. A "mother" who will sink into the depths of PPD, and runs a good chance this time of slipping into psychosis after the birth. The best chance those girls have is for Lauren to take herself out of the picture, but they are too important to her scamming and grifting for her to let them go.

[chaotic life]

Oh please, Lauren has read here for awhile now. Even Helena knows about us and has blogged about us. So, saying we are being disgusting is not somehow letting a cat out of the bag there, Homegirlruby.

That said, I would tell Lauren to her face what I say here.

Lauren is not "over" Elijah's death. You do not get "over" the death of your child, no matter what age they died. To have lost a child through murder at the hands of his own father is something no one in that family will EVER get over. Lauren has fooled herself into believing she can see death as neutral and can talk about how great life is.

Losing another child is going to rip the bandaid off the gangrene that has festered in the souls of all five of them for two years.

And I honestly don't hold it against the couple for the blog posting about not having been exposed to women and female body parts previously. Lauren was deliberately sexually assaulted the man, pretending it was accidental at first, and then completely and blatantly trying to come onto him. That's called sexual assault and a man could be charged and arrested for that level of unwanted sexual contact. This couple laughed it off, likely in the nervous laugh of not really knowing what to do about it.

Yes, they should have googoled her, and they should have been smart enough to understand that you do NOT employ a surrogate whose still grieving the recent loss of her own infant as a stable and safe surrogate option. Personally, I think they were desperate and didn't use their brains.

I don't believe for one minute that she's paying for the travel expenses herself, nor that she's not getting paid a surrogate fee. I don't buy it. She's lying about so much else of the story outright and I don't believe for one minute she's not getting a hefty surrogate fee, as is customary in all business deal surrogacy situations.

[chaotic life]

Well, I can't get C&P to work, but if you look at Lauren's FB page from 2/18/14, you will see that August, the red-headed Icelandic partner of the couple is in fact the biological father of the baby. He was Titus on the global gayby blog and he's the one who came back a second time to inseminate her after she miscarried the first time. He's also the one she was rubbing on while he was visiting, which prompted his partner to write the post about how they are both pure gays (save from the exposure of their own mothers' vaginas in childbirth).

Given he was there inseminating her via a disposable menstral cup on Feb 18th, from that date alone, it would put her due date at November 28th and she would be 23 weeks at this very moment.

I'm going to guess that the picture was taken towards the end of his visit to impregnate her, and that she made the announcement when she hit 24 weeks, and officially crossed into her third trimester. Just a guess, but either way puts her due date at end of November.

[lilith]

A comment from her blog:

Hi Homegirl Ruby! And anyone else who reads this! This is an f-ed up situation for those girls and you know it!

It's not up anymore. I guess she doesn't want to direct people here and she's getting enough negative feedback that playing the martyr could be dangerous.

[August]

I posted this before I even got to all the blog posts from the fathers and the like. It does get weirder -- premature opinion. My bad. Also, ouch.

The problem now, though, is, she's fairly far along. Far along enough to post about it as not-Abaigail. What good are the comments on her blog going to do her? It really looks like the best case scenario is the original plan for all parties involved -- if she keeps the baby and runs off with it, she leaves to very strange dudes (gold star, eugh) gay dudes heartbroken. Then she has another baby and all these problems aside, a baby boy that likely reminds her of Elijah, etc. If she has another miscarriage, they either give up heartbroken or try it again. And maybe again. Some sort of open surrogacy/adoption seems the best option. She's birthing in Iceland, right, so at least there is some time to establish that openness, a gradual goodbye, hopefully continuing communication.

I also would hope, that depending on how Lauren explained from the beginning, the girls understand what surrogacy entails and regard this baby as belonging to another couple and that will lessen the pain.

Lauren baffles me because a lot of her ideas are great...as ideas. And then her execution of them is less than fantastic. It's very much a, "Oh that sounds g---oh god no, please stop." There's definitely a way to balance her level of sparkling with practicality. I've seen in it some amazing people and I always want it to turn out that way, never does.

Sorry :embarrassed: I get a little ragey over Lauren.

Maybe we can hope at she brings the baby here and leaves it with someone they visit often. Which, you know, could have been organised beforehand. But no, Beryl and Warren from Marrochydore who desperately want a baby despite Beryl's fibroids or Kevin and Trevor from Paramatta who don't have a sister aren't nearly glamorous enough for Lauren.

[snarkelle]

The logistics....

1. Are you even allowed to fly in 3rd trimester

2. Australia to Iceland must be a three leg flight.... One very pregnant woman, 4 little girls

3. All 4 of them will bunk with the 2 gold star gays who don't value females and hate vaginas? I know I'd feel welcome

And 4. Give birth in what's presumably a small house?

5. In a country where surrogacy is illegal? (Correct me if wrong on that)

Fuck this, it's nuts

[So Many Lies]

But, SML, they're Icelandic!!! That's the coolest country ever. And she's totes their fag hag! How fun! I bet they give her tons of great style advice. Have you seen how stylish they are? Swoon! She's so noble and self-sacrificing, and must be super glamorous since these super glamorous Icelandic gays picked her.

This would be funnier if it wasn't her actual train of thought.

The truth doesn't matter, what she believes doesn't matter, it's all about what some people she met only recently this "journey" think. Nice moral compass.

I don't think there's much of a "love affair" with these dudes either. She's just a means to an end for them and she's concocted a whole load of baloney to make it all so sparkly.

So when the baby is born and she's all hurty and bleeding and suicidal, she's hardly going to be helped by some guys who are scared of vaginas.

August I think your posts are harsh but fair. She is better off pulling the plug on the whole thing.

However she won't. And maybe it will be fine. She got over Elijah surprisingly fast.

[Antimony]

The logistics....

1. Are you even allowed to fly in 3rd trimester

2. Australia to Iceland must be a three leg flight.... One very pregnant woman, 4 little girls

3. All 4 of them will bunk with the 2 gold star gays who don't value females and hate vaginas? I know I'd feel welcome

And 4. Give birth in what's presumably a small house?

5. In a country where surrogacy is illegal? (Correct me if wrong on that)

Fuck this, it's nuts

Everything I can find says that you can and that each individual airline can make their own restrictions but usually will just ask for a "permission to fly" from your doctor. There are apparently airlines that will let you travel up until a full week before your due date. I assume they've worked out this part in logistics, at least.

I know my mom took a helicopter flight only a few weeks, if that, before I popped out. Course, that was a different time. And apparently people have given birth on planes before. I imagine that can't be easy and I have no idea what kind of problems, if any, the pressure change would do to a newborn (probably hurt their ears, at least) but it has been done.

[lilith]

The logistics....

1. Are you even allowed to fly in 3rd trimester

2. Australia to Iceland must be a three leg flight.... One very pregnant woman, 4 little girls

3. All 4 of them will bunk with the 2 gold star gays who don't value females and hate vaginas? I know I'd feel welcome

And 4. Give birth in what's presumably a small house?

5. In a country where surrogacy is illegal? (Correct me if wrong on that)

Fuck this, it's nuts

I can't answer all your questions, but they are flying via Beijing, where they are stopping for a few days.

Can you imagine the Chinese reaction to four raggedy barefoot little girls running authentically wild in the streets, trailed by a heavily pregnant Sparkling Red Gypsy Lauren!?!?!?

As for flying, she should be fine for a few more weeks with a Drs certificate. If she remembers to get one - she ended up stranded in NZ while pregnant with Elijah because she was too pregnant to fly and hasn't bothered to get a clearance. The rest of the family had to leave without her whole she sorted it.

[Chowder Head]

Can you imagine the Chinese reaction to four raggedy barefoot little girls running authentically wild in the streets, trailed by a heavily pregnant Sparkling Red Gypsy Lauren!?!?!?

.

Can another country take her girls away from her? For example if a couple is another country and the kids are very sick and not cared for can that country step in and take the kids? i know there is a lot of concern for Sparkles girls and how her country hasn;t taken them yet because she is always moving but she is going to be in a country for a bit of time with the girls. So that question popped into my head.

[So Many Lies]

It's not up anymore. I guess she doesn't want to direct people here and she's getting enough negative feedback that playing the martyr could be dangerous.

Actually I noticed a few posts disappeared, at least 5. One of them did reference free jinger and another one was alluding to the "global gaybe" website. Might have been too illuminating for the big Lauren fan brigade. Let's keep the whole truth in the dark, eh? Nothing inauthentic about that...

What a mendacious bitch.