Sparkling Lauren, a super special sparkling surrogacy and a "gayby"

[lilith]

Can another country take her girls away from her? For example if a couple is another country and the kids are very sick and not cared for can that country step in and take the kids? i know there is a lot of concern for Sparkles girls and how her country hasn;t taken them yet because she is always moving but she is going to be in a country for a bit of time with the girls. So that question popped into my head.

I would imagine the Australian Embassy would take a very dim view of another country taking Australian children into care.

[So Many Lies]

Someone here was asking about Lauren ' s dad. It is interesting that this new interest in the gay community and being a surrogate for a gay couple was sparked by her previous bigotry which presumably came from her father himself! Wasn't he a minister or pastor? That being the case I'm sure he's forgiven her.

Anyway, she wrote a lot of posts about how he was basically screwing around Azerbaijan and being financially reckless. Earlier in Lauren's life I think he had been quite a distant parent in that she found it hard to get his attention He basically bribed them into getting good marks at school with dinner a night out with him kind of thing. She mentions she worked hard so that she could spend that time with him. Also she adopted some of his interests so they'd have something in common to talk about. I think this new version of him is probably a lot nicer than his earlier persons, if for no other reason than he's not being closeted any more in a religious ex pat community anymore and living a lie.

Anyway I don't think Lauren needs to go to such lengths to prove she is all cool with gay rights. She was a product of her hypocritical upbringing and she got past it.

[So Many Lies]

I would imagine the Australian Embassy would take a very dim view of another country taking Australian children into care.

I don't think it's a priority for the Chinese government anyway. I did know someone who has schizophrenia and had a bad turn in China and she was hospitalized in a facility but I imagine it's more to do with the fact they were being a bit of a public menace.

[eightykatie]

Flying late in pregnancy is generally discouraged in case you end up having complications, and get stuck in whatever country/place you're in. Given that she wants to give birth in Iceland...

You do need to get a dr's letter to be on the safe side. I flew across the world at 32wks, so did a fair amount of research on this. No-one on my flights batted an eyelid at my pregnant state.

That given, I can't imagine flying that distance with 4 kids while that pregnant!!

[ViolaSebastian]

Everything I can find says that you can and that each individual airline can make their own restrictions but usually will just ask for a "permission to fly" from your doctor

That made me think of another thing: Is the couple paying for her pre-natal medical expenses? Or is that lovely burden going to the Australian taxpayers as well?

[So Many Lies]

That made me think of another thing: Is the couple paying for her pre-natal medical expenses? Or is that lovely burden going to the Australian taxpayers as well?

Yeah. That's the new economy. Everyone else has to pay for her ill considered whims.

[ViolaSebastian]

Yeah. That's the new economy. Everyone else has to pay for her ill considered whims.

Well, not just her whims, the collective whims of two fellows in Iceland, too, apparently.

[Mama Mia]

Well, not just her whims, the collective whims of two fellows in Iceland, too, apparently.

Well what would be the alternative? A government that provides health care doing an investigation into the paternity and intended goals and destination for every pregnant woman? Even the U.S. Isn't that fucking ridiculous , usually.

[ViolaSebastian]

Well what would be the alternative? A government that provides health care doing an investigation into the paternity and intended goals and destination for every pregnant woman? Even the U.S. Isn't that fucking ridiculous , usually.

I think the right thing to do would be for the two parents in Iceland to pay for the medical care of their future child.

[lilith]

Well, not just her whims, the collective whims of two fellows in Iceland, too, apparently.

If she's receiving pre natal care then we (Australians) are paying for it.

I doubt she's receiving any. She didn't with Elijah, and when the time came to register his birth she was concerned that DOCS would be notified and it would be considered neglect. She was asking online how to avoid that.

Given that, I don't think she's receiving prenatal care for an illegal surrogacy, especially as she plans to birth in another country and return without the baby. A blessing from the doula at Hellena's end of fertility rites is probably the extent of her care.

Btw, at the time of Hellena's ceremony I really wanted to say this, but couldn't cause it wasn't generally known she was pregnant - I bet she was there to play the mother to the doula's maiden and Hellena as the impending crone. She would have loved that so much - all the attention on her as the fertile goddess

[August]

As per the gayby blog cache, tomorrow she will be "in the middle of week 24", giving her an EDD of 20 Nov, give or take a day or two.

In other finger counting news, she was in contact with them around the time of the first anniversary of Elijah's death, and being inseminated before he'd been dead 15 months. Now, it's possible I'm over-dramatising the impact of the death of a child, because it's never happened to me I can only imagine the immediate horror, not healing from it. But, what are the odds anyone is mentally stable enough to decide what to have for breakfast around the first anniversary of the murder of their seven month old baby?

And,if anyone visiting from her blog would like some insight into why she maybe shouldn't be on the other side of the world, alone with four children and without the baby she just birthed, here's how she felt after Elijah's birth - a birth she said was wonderful, with a husband there and a healthy baby.

Sometimes it’s called the baby blues. In Australia we use the term “black dogâ€. It was probably inevitable for me. After such a magnificent birthing story, how could the mundane aftermath ever compete?

I am thankful that we are in a house — imperfect as it is, isolated, with grime, fleas and dog-hair everywhere. Still, this house gives me a breathing space, a bedroom to retreat to, a bed to lie on as I ignore everything else.

For this is a time where I do nothing but disassociate. I separate myself from my children and from David and retreat into my mind, emerging only to lose myself in B-grade movies. Occasionally I am brought back to reality by the cries of our son or someone bringing him to me. But if I could abandon him too, I know I would do so.

I would just walk away, catch the train to the city and stay somewhere safe — somewhere where no one talks to you unless you talk first and you can wander in anonymity without ever being called on to take responsibility. I do not know where this place actually exists, which is why I am still here.

Caring for a newborn is supposed to be a lovely joy, but in truth it’s a terrible monotony. They suck you dry, demand constant care and rarely maintain eye contact long enough to encourage you that they represent a small personality. We believe that this larvae will turn into a man, but until then, he’s just a grub with a lusty pair of lungs and lips like a vice.

Our older children are pretty self-sufficient, but in times like this when I lack the energy to deal with them, they too are vampires, seeking to suck me dry for whatever nourishment — physical or emotional — that I can provide. I am thankful that I have David here full-time because he keeps the girls placated, loved and well-fed in the shadow of my neglect.

To retreat, to disassociate from those around me, means that I feel no emotional connection with those for whom I am most fond. I isolate myself from all. In order to justify my horrible behaviour, I create them into monsters — David most of all. In my mind, I magnify David’s past wrongs and personality faults until I can’t see past the looming spectre of my own creation. I say and do things to push him away, and then hate him when he retreats. He can’t win against this black dog — he can only endure the marathon of emotional abuse.

This is not an invitation for dialogue, or a conversation that I care to have with anyone. This is merely a record for the future, a window into my mind so that our daughters may one day understand and perhaps realise that I can empathise with them, if they, too, meet this black dog along the wayside.

For the black dog is an ugly beast. It’s hard to kill, and it sure takes the sparkle out of life. Until it recedes, I will retreat back into my mind, into the dark spaces where I can curl up and forget about life. For that is how it is.

Lilith, the surrogacy's not illegal unless she's in one of two states who prohibit surrogacy for gay parents.

[shedemei]

August,it looks like the quote isn't showing up.

[haras1972]

As per the gayby blog cache, tomorrow she will be "in the middle of week 24", giving her an EDD of 20 Nov, give or take a day or two.

In other finger counting news, she was in contact with them around the time of the first anniversary of Elijah's death, and being inseminated before he'd been dead 15 months. Now, it's possible I'm over-dramatising the impact of the death of a child, because it's never happened to me I can only imagine the immediate horror, not healing from it. But, what are the odds anyone is mentally stable enough to decide what to have for breakfast around the first anniversary of the murder of their seven month old baby?

And,if anyone visiting from her blog would like some insight into why she maybe shouldn't be on the other side of the world, alone with four children and without the baby she just birthed, here's how she felt after Elijah's birth - a birth she said was wonderful, with a husband there and a healthy baby.

Lilith, the surrogacy's not illegal unless she's in one of two states who prohibit surrogacy for gay parents.

Alice Wenzel, she of the flouncing Way of the Peaceful Parent, posted a congratulatory message for all three parents on the Global Gayby FB page on July 7 last year. That's 12 months after Elijah's death - so going backwards, she was probably researching, approaching, reading differing pleas for surrogacy for months before deciding on these 2, and then negotiating with them to the point of deciding to go ahead. I can't see all that taking place quickly, so I would probably peg her deciding to this maybe only 6-7 months after Elijah's death.

That is so far out of the realm of a healthy place to make such a massive and life affecting decision.... I'm still utterly gobsmacked by all this - and I can't believe that not a single family member or friend said one dissenting word. Surely someone in her life said, are you sure this is the best thing to do? What about her sisters?

[August]

August,it looks like the quote isn't showing up.

Sorry, I have to post quotes in two stages, quirk of the ipad browser.

[lilith]

As per the gayby blog cache, tomorrow she will be "in the middle of week 24", giving her an EDD of 20 Nov, give or take a day or two.

In other finger counting news, she was in contact with them around the time of the first anniversary of Elijah's death, and being inseminated before he'd been dead 15 months. Now, it's possible I'm over-dramatising the impact of the death of a child, because it's never happened to me I can only imagine the immediate horror, not healing from it. But, what are the odds anyone is mentally stable enough to decide what to have for breakfast around the first anniversary of the murder of their seven month old baby?

And,if anyone visiting from her blog would like some insight into why she maybe shouldn't be on the other side of the world, alone with four children and without the baby she just birthed, here's how she felt after Elijah's birth - a birth she said was wonderful, with a husband there and a healthy baby.

Lilith, the surrogacy's not illegal unless she's in one of two states who prohibit surrogacy for gay parents.

It is if there's compensation and it involves foreign nationals (she's in NSW right now). And I don't believe for a moment she isn't being compensated in any way. She can't announce it cause a) it's illegal, b) she would lose Centrelink benefits and c) it goes against her sparkling image as an altruistic member of the new economy who is too enlightened to need anything so mundane as cash

[lilith]

Alice Wenzel, she of the flouncing Way of the Peaceful Parent, posted a congratulatory message for all three parents on the Global Gayby FB page on July 7 last year. That's 12 months after Elijah's death - so going backwards, she was probably researching, approaching, reading differing pleas for surrogacy for months before deciding on these 2, and then negotiating with them to the point of deciding to go ahead. I can't see all that taking place quickly, so I would probably peg her deciding to this maybe only 6-7 months after Elijah's death.

That is so far out of the realm of a healthy place to make such a massive and life affecting decision.... I'm still utterly gobsmacked by all this - and I can't believe that not a single family member or friend said one dissenting word. Surely someone in her life said, are you sure this is the best thing to do? What about her sisters?

She has had a falling out with at least one of her sisters over her sister not supporting her life choices and parenting decisions (surprise surprise). I very much doubt most people in her life, including David, think this is a good idea - she simply doesn't care and won't hear opinions that don't align with hers.

[Jasmar]

Btw, at the time of Hellena's ceremony I really wanted to say this, but couldn't cause it wasn't generally known she was pregnant - I bet she was there to play the mother to the doula's maiden and Hellena as the impending crone. She would have loved that so much - all the attention on her as the fertile goddess

If i could change my user name, it would definitely be "Impending Crone." I love that.

I can't read a lot of this woman's stuff because it's too triggery sometimes, having been raised by a faux-hippie narcissist myself.

[ViolaSebastian]

Another question for in-the-know Aussies: Here in the U.S., receiving an inheritance like the one Lauren claims would, depending on the amount, result in the suspension of welfare benefits for quite some time. Would this inheritance have the same affect on her Centrelink benefits?

[lilith]

Another question for in-the-know Aussies: Here in the U.S., receiving an inheritance like the one Lauren claims would, depending on the amount, result in the suspension of welfare benefits for quite some time. Would this inheritance have the same affect on her Centrelink benefits?

Yes. It would result in them being reduced over the financial year, not cut off.

I very much doubt Lauren declared said inheritance, if it ever existed. She's playing with fire though - Partner is a chartered accountant, and he is finding it more and more common for the ATO and Centrelink to source info directly from people's bank accounts. Her donations and rental payments are very likely to be discovered and deemed to be income. And her home will be deemed an investment property and therefore not be exempt from Centrelink asset tests.

[haras1972]

Yes. It would result in them being reduced over the financial year, not cut off.

I very much doubt Lauren declared said inheritance, if it ever existed. She's playing with fire though - Partner is a chartered accountant, and he is finding it more and more common for the ATO and Centrelink to source info directly from people's bank accounts. Her donations and rental payments are very likely to be discovered and deemed to be income. And her home will be deemed an investment property and therefore not be exempt from Centrelink asset tests.

Also, it's an assets test, that determines the affect of the inheritance of her pension eligibility. If her assets including the inheritance are still under the threshold then she is ok. It's not the amount of the inheritance, it's the amount of her assets after you include the inheritance.

[ViolaSebastian]

Would her leaving the country for a long period of time have any affect?

[lilith]

Would her leaving the country for a long period of time have any affect?

Yes. Again, if she tells them. She won't be eligible for part of her payment for the period she is out of the country. And for those who remember she was in NZ for ages, NZ is different and has reciprocal welfare arrangements with Australia

[So Many Lies]

Yes you can be completely cut off for going overseas for more than a year and you need to tell them if you're going for more than 6 weeks.

[So Many Lies]

Yes. It would result in them being reduced over the financial year, not cut off.

I very much doubt Lauren declared said inheritance, if it ever existed. She's playing with fire though - Partner is a chartered accountant, and he is finding it more and more common for the ATO and Centrelink to source info directly from people's bank accounts. Her donations and rental payments are very likely to be discovered and deemed to be income. And her home will be deemed an investment property and therefore not be exempt from Centrelink asset tests.

She may get paid rent through Western Union for example. but they still may look at the situation very very closely if something tips them off. As others have said, I think the inheritance is made up as a cover. I believe this because she surely would written a long embellished account of said death and totally over egged the pudding with regards to how much of an impact it has had and how they celebrated an un-death or some such.

[So Many Lies]

If i could change my user name, it would definitely be "Impending Crone." I love that.

I can't read a lot of this woman's stuff because it's too triggery sometimes, having been raised by a faux-hippie narcissist myself.

Probably wise. I have no real experience with narcissists, faux hippy or otherwise, and it still keeps me up nights.