Sparkling Lauren, a super special sparkling surrogacy and a "gayby"

[lilith]

Congratulations to whoever wrote this:

[happy atheist]

I want to watch it but I am too scared! :lol:

It's super creepy, that's for sure. And it's worse when you know most of it is not done with digital effects. They taught the children to move like that, and Mama is played by a really skinny Spanish guy. And. It. Is. So. Creepy.

[lilith]

Also, she calls David her ex husband. Have they actually divorced? I really don't think they have. Which makes everything even stickier legally - he would automatically be listed as the father on an Australian birth certificate unless she, he, or the bio dad filed an affidavit claiming he wasn't (crazy, I know, but true).

[Blahblah]

Anyone know what the birth registration law is in Iceland? Parental obligations? Financial support requirements for non-custodial parents?

I think of the paperwork involved in having a baby in a simple nuclear family and my mind boggles in this situation. I have so many questions about the actual process of giving birth and then giving away the baby.

Sparkles is obviously off in fairy land as usual but you'd hope that at least one of the men involved would have bothered to figure out the details.

Can Sparkles just sign the birth certificate and simply hand over the baby? Or will she have to renounce her rights formally and legally in some way? Surely there is paperwork, screening, social worker involvement before a birth mother can just waltz away from her baby and abandon it in a foreign (to her) country? Or will the baby need to be registered in both countries? How would that work?

I wonder how the Icelandic authorities will view a child conceived in Australia by a mad Australian woman who then travelled halfway around the world to spawn said offspring with the intention (apparently) of leaving it behind and foresaking all parental (and fiscal) responsibility.

[August]

I truly cannot snark for her these posts. I expected to be able to but surrogacy is something I would deeply consider if I was capable (I am not, though). (I am about a poylamorous as Lauren at least says she is and I have partners with whom I communicate with daily [distance makes the heart grow fonder but we are partners and close friends without monogamy or jealousy. I recognize this is strange, though, and I often do revel in the unlikely combination of our personalities to allow us to feel this way.) But I am also 21 and do not feel that I am ready for any kind of parenthood (biological or not) and recognize that my opinion on this matter may very well be romanticized. The term, "gayby" though, screw that. (Also, when I was a teen, we used that in the LGBT community to refer to the younger members of the community that sought us for advice but it was also a nickname they embrace/used for themselves).

Yeah, fucking no you can't snark her for deciding to carry and birth a baby when her own baby died just over a year ago. She will not be able to give this baby up.

Also, crippling post partum depression, four children who have only one parent and are probably still traumatised from losing the other and their baby brother. You don't get to fucking abrogate your responsibility to your children because you want super special sparkles.

It's almost certainly her egg. Why else could they have attempted to conceive in both Iceland and Australia? That's turkey baster territory, not IVF clinic.

[August]

She's getting a shellacking in the comments.

[lilith]

Yep, there's a whole lot of crazy in those comments.....

[August]

Anyone know what the birth registration law is in Iceland? Parental obligations? Financial support requirements for non-custodial parents?

I think of the paperwork involved in having a baby in a simple nuclear family and my mind boggles in this situation. I have so many questions about the actual process of giving birth and then giving away the baby.

Sparkles is obviously off in fairy land as usual but you'd hope that at least one of the men involved would have bothered to figure out the details.

Can Sparkles just sign the birth certificate and simply hand over the baby? Or will she have to renounce her rights formally and legally in some way? Surely there is paperwork, screening, social worker involvement before a birth mother can just waltz away from her baby and abandon it in a foreign (to her) country? Or will the baby need to be registered in both countries? How would that work?

I wonder how the Icelandic authorities will view a child conceived in Australia by a mad Australian woman who then travelled halfway around the world to spawn said offspring with the intention (apparently) of leaving it behind and foresaking all parental (and fiscal) responsibility.

Wikipedia says surrogacy is illegal. So she should be fine to take the baby home. I'm sure she's not planning to, but in terms of her not having a total breakdown, she needs to keep the baby. And fuck the parents, who would google her and decide a woman who'd just had her baby murdered was going to be in any state to hand a baby over? They're assholes.

[16strong]

These dudes are about on par with the family in California that hired a live-in nanny that wouldn't leave and didn't bother to Google her name or have a look at her [very obvious] legal trail. I don't feel bad for anyone other than Lauren's daughters and the child that she is bringing into the world.

- Lauren should not be doing anything involving having another child for the obvious reasons that she is still grieving her son's death and that she has not had any counseling whatsoever.

- The man that dearly wants a child should not be with his partner if he wants kids and his partner doesn't. It's not fair to either of them or any child they bring into the world. A child should be 100% wanted.

- The man that didn't really want a child should have had more sense than to hand over his sperm if he didn't really want a baby.

- Both of the men together should have had the sense to pick a better surrogate.

[chaotic life]

Surrogacy is illegal in Australia AND Iceland.

Even where it is legal, Lauren would never, ever in a million years pass the psychological screening that reputable surrogacy agencies use to screen for surrogates that are not going to go bat-shit crazy by the act of carrying and then giving away a child.

I have no doubt that in addition to wanting the attention and accolades, Lauren has some bizarre idea that this will help relieve her pain from losing Elijah. She's WRONG. She's dead wrong. This will make it all so much worse, so much more raw and so much harder for her to find her way out of the hormonal depression that childbirth brings her anyway.

She's already had to let other people care for her children for the first trimester. David is no longer around to care for those girls for the six months after she gives birth, and she has NO IDEA what it's going to be like when her breasts feel like inflamed rocks, her arms are empty and her heart has been ripped out. This won't be anything like what she has done with her births in the past. And, the couple has been very clear that she will have to have a midwife. They are not in favor of her free birthing nonsense.

Lauren gets exactly what she deserves from this. It's not an act of selfless love. It's just another stunt the Narcissist is doing to make it all about her. Those girls deserve better, so very much better.

[So Many Lies]

Pretty dubious about those dudes now. Their gold medal gay tag for never being tarnished with a vagina, their awful choice of surrogate, firm preferences for looks and gender of the baby, the non commital attitude of one of them, their lack of followers on social media with regards to "global gayby"....

[Miggy]

Also, she calls David her ex husband. Have they actually divorced? I really don't think they have. Which makes everything even stickier legally - he would automatically be listed as the father on an Australian birth certificate unless she, he, or the bio dad filed an affidavit claiming he wasn't (crazy, I know, but true).

Are you sure this is correct? MrMiggy had to sign the birth registration to get his name on the birth certificate. This happened for children we had before marriage and during marriage. I know of another couple who separated during her pregnancy. He refused to sign the registration and so his name did not appear on the birth certificate. She had to take him to court to force a him to take a blood test and prove fatherhood because, without that, she couldn't get sole parents payment. Unless the laws have changed in the last 15 years, David's name would not go on the birth certificate, even if Lauren & David are still married.

*Lauren can register the child as Australian by applying to an consulate after the birth. (We don't have a consulate in Iceland. You have to go through the one in Denmark.)

[lilith]

Are you sure this is correct? MrMiggy had to sign the birth registration to get his name on the birth certificate. This happened for children we had before marriage and during marriage. I know of another couple who separated during her pregnancy. He refused to sign the registration and so his name did not appear on the birth certificate. She had to take him to court to force a him to take a blood test and prove fatherhood because, without that, she couldn't get sole parents payment. Unless the laws have changed in the last 15 years, David's name would not go on the birth certificate, even if Lauren & David are still married.

*Lauren can register the child as Australian by applying to an consulate after the birth. (We don't have a consulate in Iceland. You have to go through the one in Denmark.)

I wasn't married when I registered my first child's birth (in NSW, 2004) and my then fiancé had to sign the form to register his paternity. When I registered my sons births I was married and he didn't need to sign the registration at all - I just filled in the details, including the details of our marriage, and he was registered as the father.

It may be different in other states and it may have changed since then, that's just my experience.

I found this:

The site has some interesting info about registering children born overseas through surrogacy arrangements too.

http://www.lawhandbook.org.au/handbook/ch05s03s02.php

[Mama Mia]

Anyone know what the birth registration law is in Iceland? Parental obligations? Financial support requirements for non-custodial parents?

I think of the paperwork involved in having a baby in a simple nuclear family and my mind boggles in this situation. I have so many questions about the actual process of giving birth and then giving away the baby.

Sparkles is obviously off in fairy land as usual but you'd hope that at least one of the men involved would have bothered to figure out the details.

Can Sparkles just sign the birth certificate and simply hand over the baby? Or will she have to renounce her rights formally and legally in some way? Surely there is paperwork, screening, social worker involvement before a birth mother can just waltz away from her baby and abandon it in a foreign (to her) country? Or will the baby need to be registered in both countries? How would that work?

I wonder how the Icelandic authorities will view a child conceived in Australia by a mad Australian woman who then travelled halfway around the world to spawn said offspring with the intention (apparently) of leaving it behind and foresaking all parental (and fiscal) responsibility.

I know nothing about surrogacy, or the laws in either of those countries. But in working in the U.S. I have worked with a very large number of families where one of the parents was a U.S. Citizen and one is a Mexican Citizen, and have had a very large number of situations where the father, or less often, but still fairly frequently, the mother, then disappears back to Mexico without anyone doing any paperwork about anything, ever. If the parent who has default custody files for aid ( I worked with very low income families, so most do) , they don't even really try to get child support from the missing parent- it's too hard to track and impossible to enforce from out of the country. If CPS becomes involved I've never seen them try to track down out of country relatives to take custody - I suppose it's possible, but I've never seen it. With no formal custody though there is of course, always the possibility of the other parent coming back to try to get custody.

I suppose they could, depending on the laws in their countries, just do a step-parent type adoption procedure - surrogate mom would sign away her parental rights and the non biological parent formally adopts the child. Generally a batch of paperwork and various over-priced filing fees and possibly a home visit, but basically all formalities.

[Mama Mia]

I think it's probably a 50/50 chance of Lauren finding this traumatic or healing. She certainly doesn't seem as attached to her own children as most people, so it might actually do her good.

BUT I don't think there is much of a chance that all four of those little girls will take this well. I think there is an extremely high probability at least one of them will be extremely, extremely distraught by this, especially in light of losing their baby brother and their father. For that reason alone I think any caring parent would just not do this. Yes she said they all okayed the idea, but for fucks sake, they are little kids! Shouldn't any parent realize that the reality might be far different than a little girls conception of events? What the hell.

Eta: and probably any kid who is upset about it will not be able to express it at all. I don't care how "free"Lauren thinks she is, those kids are just as repressed as a Maxwell.

[Koala]

she needs to keep the baby. And fuck the parents, who would google her and decide a woman who'd just had her baby murdered was going to be in any state to hand a baby over? They're assholes.

Yeah, she totally needs to keep the baby. Her husband killed her last one and she doesn't take care of the 3 she has left, but she should really keep him. He won't have a home or proper care, but who cares right?

[browngrl]

I've seen a few surrogates. The women I've seen seem to be reasonable women who want to help out someone. The women I've seen have all been either sisters/best friends of woman they were carrying a child for. I asked them about what they had done about the legal/emotional issues and the women I saw gave me reasonable, thoughtful answers. Additionally, if one of my sisters was infertile and she asked me to carry a baby for her or donate an egg, I would (although I would not do it for anyone other than one of my sisters). So I think that under the right circumstances surrogacy can be a good thing.

However I am troubled by sparkling Lauren. I can see big problems in the future - both for the parents of this child and for Lauren. She does not seem to have dealt with the death of her son in anything more than a superficial way. Her own life seems disorganized and haphazard. Her own children often seem neglected as Lauren goes about satisfying her own desires. I can see her having a great deal of difficulty giving the child up to the parents. Additionally, no delivery is without some level of risk - what happens if the sparkling one suffers a health crisis. Who will look after her own children? As for the parents - I hope they are happy to have sparkling Lauren in their lives for the next 18 years. I can see this poor child being torn between the couple and Lauren.

I hope I am wrong and I hope everyone in this arrangement is well informed. I hope they have some kind of a contract. I hope that things work out well for everyone.

[August]

Yeah, she totally needs to keep the baby. Her husband killed her last one and she doesn't take care of the 3 she has left, but she should really keep him. He won't have a home or proper care, but who cares right?

And what happens to those girls when she drives the bus off a cliff to end the pain?

She's a narcissistic image obsessed bitch, but on the scale of shitty parenting, at least she's only neglectful and emotionally manipulative. Millions of worse parents have babies every day. Hell, she was a worse parent before she went all rainbow.

And, speaking of shitty parenting, the oldest two would remember Elijah, what will it do to them to give away their next brother?

[ILoveJellybeans]

I just watched the movie Mama, which has two feral girls. They reminded me so much of the sparkling one's daughters, especially the younger one (in the movie) who kept her head covered with a blanket or a hood a lot.

That sounds interesting..

I have no idea how these four girls are going to live a normal life :(

[August]

Pretty dubious about those dudes now. Their gold medal gay tag for never being tarnished with a vagina, their awful choice of surrogate, firm preferences for looks and gender of the baby, the non commital attitude of one of them, their lack of followers on social media with regards to "global gayby"....

But, SML, they're Icelandic!!! That's the coolest country ever. And she's totes their fag hag! How fun! I bet they give her tons of great style advice. Have you seen how stylish they are? Swoon! She's so noble and self-sacrificing, and must be super glamorous since these super glamorous Icelandic gays picked her.

This would be funnier if it wasn't her actual train of thought.

[August]

Surrogacy is illegal in Australia AND Iceland.

No, it's not. It's illegal in iceland and some Australian states.

[Rachel333]

My understanding was that it's only paid surrogacy that is illegal in Australia, though wikipedia says the Northern Territory has no surrogacy laws at all. It also says that "Moreover New South Wales, Queensland and the Australian Capital Territory have made it an offence for residents to enter into international commercial surrogacy arrangements with potential penalties extending to imprisonment for up to two years." which seems awfully harsh.

Even in the US it's only a few states that allow commercial surrogacy.

I got kind of in to reading surrogacy blogs a while back after finding this blog -- justthestork.blogspot.com/(I doubt she would care, but breaking the link anyway) -- which belongs to the woman who carried Neil Patrick Harris's twins. Surrogacy is not something I have ever had any exposure to in real life, so it's interesting to read about a whole world I didn't realize existed.

[Jana814]

Yes in some states surrogacy is illegal. I live in NJ & it's illegal in my state. But someone is allowed to carry a child for a sibling or friend but they cant get paid for it. However my friend was able to find a surrogate in Texas where it's not illegal.

[chaotic life]

Well that would explain why she's rewriting the beginning and claiming that they aren't paying her. They aren't paying her in the same way she garners no rent from her house. Of course they are paying her.

[chaotic life]

Where surrogacy is illegal, surrogate contracts are invalid. It won't matter if they have a contract, it's not worth the paper it would be printed on.