Another Bates Courtship

[MsSaylor]

I'm happy to see that the Bates really have relaxed about the courtship thing and weren't just paying lip service. It appears both Erin and Zach were more in control of the process and are happy. Perhaps their kids will also relax their views on the whole quiverful thing. I wonder what this young woman who is going to college and has a working mother feels about having as many children as possible.

[longskirts]

I'm impressed the Bates are allowing this courtship. I've always thought the Bateses and Duggars were much alike, but now I think the Bateses compare more favorably. I can't see the Duggars letting a son court someone with a job at Sonic.

[nokidsmom]

I speculated earlier upthread that it could be Zach and hey, it turns out to be the case! They are a cute couple and this time around it's not looking so awkward and more like a real dating couple.

Obviously, Gil and Kelly learned the lessons from his first courtship and eased up some on the courtship "must dos" such has no touching, etc. I do think that with the first time, Gil and Kelly tried to force the courtship to follow the courtship "model" as it was the first time for any of their children and it definitely did not work. I figure that seeing Zach's disappointment and pain was enough to make them reconsider as he obviously liked the girl.

Some similarities do remain. Outside of the matchy-matchy outfits (why?) the girl has a job and seems fundie-lite. Sarah Reith also had a career with her family band and she and her family seemed fundie-lite to me as well.

Working at Sonic means she's around a lot of rock n' roll music too. In addition to going to college. I do wonder if Zach will continue the quiverful thing; things seems to be moving more toward the mainstream in the Bates family. Still fundie, still conservative, still probably thinking Nathan Bedford Forest is okay, but there's some more mainstream thinking creeping in there when it comes to courtship.

ETA: Enough time has gone by since the last courtship ended. Kelly announced it some months after things actually ended and it's been over a year since that announcement. This is by no means a rebound.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Only in fundieland can you simultaneously be a "super-manly manly man" and pose for such saccharine photo-ops with your girlfriend with a straight face. That picture with them making a heart with their arms? I can't.

[Pretzel]

Only in fundieland can you simultaneously be a "super-manly manly man" and pose for such saccharine photo-ops with your girlfriend with a straight face. That picture with them making a heart with their arms? I can't.

But, as a mahnlee mahn you're doing this only because the guhrl wants and NEEDS it. Wedding stuff is girl business and because you're a good man you're playing along. :mrgreen: :wtf:

[LilMissMetaphor]

Only in fundieland can you simultaneously be a "super-manly manly man" and pose for such saccharine photo-ops with your girlfriend with a straight face. That picture with them making a heart with their arms? I can't.

I hate that shit too. It infects Pinterest. Let's arrange our wedding rings so they look like a heart. Let's dangle our wedding rings over our newborn baby's toes. Let's take artful pictures of our clasped hands. Let's hang from a tree branch with our legs intertwined.

What the effing eff, it's all so stupid and phony.

[doubleT]

I hope things work out for Zach this time. He looks alittle awkward in the photos, maybe just because his shirt is so yellow, so starched and buttoned up so high. He does seem a lot more relaxed and happy this time around. I'm glad he met a young lady that is making her way in life and not just sitting around being a sister-mom and waiting for her Dad to pick her a man out. Her clothes do appear to indicate she is fundy though.

[HereticHick]

Picked up a girl at the Sonic Drive-In? Good for you, Zach! [now I am craving Sonic Onion Rings]

She looks like a great influence on the Bates kids: her mother works, she works, she's in college, she's showing a fair amount of collarbone in her photo (and she's only wearing 1 shirt, praise DOG), and she gets to touch her man. And I am glad that Kelly mentioned that Alyssa works at a florist sometimes.

The Duggars could learn a lot from this.

PS Do you think Zach met her before breaking up with Sarah????

[Now will Erin & Chad get to start touching each other? Or are we afraid that Erin will start ripping his clothes off in sexual frustration?? : )]

[MsSaylor]

I need to go actually look at the pics now. I'm hoping for no Wal-mart cheesecake this time.

[HereticHick]

Here's where Zach & Whit ate: http://www.rickardridgebbq.com/ordereze/default.aspx

And now I am craving BBQ, Sonic onion rings, and cherry limeade.

[Markie]

Zach does look much more relaxed with Whitney. The no-touch rule he and Sarah had must have just added to their discomfort. Imagine being stressed if you bumped up next to your boy/girlfriend. The horrors!

Looks like Gil and Kelly encourage and support thier children to have jobs in the community, attend college and meet/interact with other young people. While still being incredibly conservative and restrictive, the Bates children have a better chance of finding love than some other fundy families that appear on this Board. It does seem that fundy boys often chose fundy-lite girls, whereas the fundy girls often marry equally fundy boys. There are slimmer pickings for fundy girls if they only consider fundy boys. Fundy boys have two groups of girls from which they can select a mate: fundy or fundy-lite!

I hope it works out for this couple but they have a long courtship to truly get to know each other - and enjoy some private time, away from chaperones.

[Ralar]

Zach looks much more comfortable with Whit, than he did with the other girl. He looks happy, and I think he looks like he's lost some weight.

I wonder why Whit's surname is different than her parents surname. An adopted child usually is given the adoptive parents' surname. Also, why was it necessary to mention that she was adopted? Maybe because of the name difference? I have several adopted nieces and nephews and no one would think of calling them adopted children: they are simply the children of my XXX and YYY.

[punkiepie]

Color me impressed! I'm really happy for Zach and they look much more comfortable together than he and Sarah ever did. And she works at Sonic and is starting some type of higher education this year!!!eleventy!1?? Definitely falls in the fundie-lite category. It's good to see Gil and Kelly letting go a bit and allowing their kids to make some of their own choices. Jim Boob and J'chelle could learn a few things from them.

[emiliawasframed]

Zach looks much more comfortable with Whit, than he did with the other girl. He looks happy, and I think he looks like he's lost some weight.

I wonder why Whit's surname is different than her parents surname. An adopted child usually is given the adoptive parents' surname. Also, why was it necessary to mention that she was adopted? Maybe because of the name difference? I have several adopted nieces and nephews and no one would think of calling them adopted children: they are simply the children of my XXX and YYY.

That depends on the age of the child at adoption as well as his/her national or ethic background. I know a number of people who chose to keep their surnames following adoption because they already had established identities, cultural ties, etc..

[singsingsing]

This is fantastic. Zach is dating a girl he met at a Sonic. She works. She also goes to college. Her mother also works! She's not wearing two shirts! And they're touching each other. Wow. Yeah, it's still a courtship with chaperones and goofy photos, but they look so much happier and more relaxed than poor Zach & Sarah ever did. So good for Zach.

p.s. I think Zach just looks awkward in photos. Some people do.

[Pretzel]

p.s. I think Zach just looks awkward in photos. Some people do.

Count me in.

[Guest]

Kelly responded to my comment and said that Alyssa and Michael will be traveling to visit the Websters in Florida next week and that Chad and Erin are praying over a wedding date. So it seems like John and Alyssa might still happen.

[SamuraiKatz]

Is Gil still on the ATI board of directors,anyone know? (is that a well-paid position? just wondering..).If so,I'm thinking they probably haven't changed much in the way of courting,have they? I'm guessing he would still have an interest in maintaining the courtship view,despite whatever they decide to call it.

Interesting...and now I know how Chad's father makes his scratch..

Dr. Stephen Paine

Dr. Paine is a practicing physician and the father of ten outstanding sons and daughters. He received his medical training at Indiana Wesleyan University and the graduate school of Indiana University School of Medicine. With his family he served this ministry for several years at the Indianapolis Training Center and then came to Headquarters for further ministry. He not only served the medical needs of the staff but did valuable research on the book being written at that time, How to Resolve Seven Deadly Stresses.

Dr. Paine is currently a physician for 1,400 male offenders at the prison affiliated with the Correctional Corporation of America in Oklahoma. He also gives sessions at our Stress Resolution Seminars. Three of his older sons and a daughter have served or are serving on the Headquarters staff.

So much for stuffing envelopes for Jesus.. http://iblp.org/about-iblp/corporate-in ... -directors

[nokidsmom]

Count me in.

He does look awkward but not as much as in the photos with Sarah. But having your girlfriend leaning away from you, as Sarah did, probably didn't help things.

Do agree that some people just look awkward in photos matter what. Dated a guy just like that and my family was all over that fact, thinking what was wrong that he couldn't relax, but in reality he was just very self conscious in photo situations. Outside of that he was fine.

[infooverload]

He does look relaxed and in one of the photos she appears to be leaning into him. I decided to bite the bullet and politely ask on the Bates blog about the matchy matchy crap. The comment is awaiting moderation.

[SamuraiKatz]

I'm glad Zach found someone he seems to like. On his own..without help from his parents...at the Sonic..

[3 ring circus]

I can't possibly be the only one who thinks that Michael is actually the most attractive of the Bates daughters? I'm not saying that to be unconventional, I really think she is the best looking.

You are not. There just seems to be something so genuine about her. She doesn't seem snobbish, she's not afraid to get dirty and be seen on TV. Erin and Alyssa hate to be seen unless they are all made up. I think she is a beautiful girl and gets passed by for the other girls.

[3 ring circus]

Agreed, Pretzel.

Kelly looks happy and genuine with her kids. I don't get the same vibe from Mullet. And they're much more relaxed, simple people. Still kinda want to kick Boob for insisting on the house rebuild, then not finishing it. Was it ever finished?

I also think they would support their kids if they turned fundie lite or further.

House rebuild? I think I missed this

[HereticHick]

I find Kelly to be refreshingly candid in her comments on the website--100% more responsive & thoughtful that Mullet will every be!

OK, Jim Bob, the Bates kids have TWO engagements on the horizon--AND a very likely courtship in the works. Perhaps you should spend some time in the prayer closet, reflecting on your shortcomings as father/matchmaker?

[3 ring circus]

She looks genuinely happy in those photos (compare and contrast with Zach's previous courtship pics...). He, on the other hand, I'm not sure... Maybe he doesn't like having his photo taken? He looks awkward.

In one photo he doesn't look to thrilled at all. He seems very awkward to me. Maybe he just doesn't like being in from of the camera. I don't know, just doesn't look as thrilled as Erin and the Paine boy.